When thinking about a time I helped someone, I would have to reflect on the time I helped a
friend free herself from addiction. Of course, I was just the beginning of solving that problem
but I was there to help. When she first came to me, she was scared, pregnant and using
substances, she wanted to stop for herself and the sake of her baby but she did not know where
to start. At first, I did not even know where to start to help her, but I did know that I needed to
help her. First, I listened to her, I kept her at my house and let her sleep. I tried to give advice
where I could and started finding resources and help for her, I kept her in the loop of
everything I was doing the whole time and made sure she was okay with everything. I got her
into treatment and was there for her every step of the way throughout as she had no family or
other friends because of the substance abuse. I always reminded her how amazing and strong
she was for what she was doing. She ended up getting out of treatment, having a healthy baby,
and is still to this day sober and thriving with her baby. When looking at the stages of the
helping process, I had no clue how to help her at first so I had to prepare for the situation and
how to help her, while also exploring the problem that was there and helped her find the
correct services to help her.
Whenever I have a friend who comes to me with a problem or is just feeling uneasy, I ask them
if they want advice or just want me to listen. In the past, I immediately jumped to giving
advice/ relating to their issues because that was the only way I knew how to help. As of the last
two years, I have taken a different approach. I am usually the friend that people come to for
advice or just to vent so I eventually learned that not everybody wants the same advice or
outcome. I started asking them if they would prefer advice or would like me to listen. In one
situation in particular a friend was venting and I asked her if she wanted advice or if she would
like me to just listen. She then proceeded to tell me that she would just like me to listen. In this
situation, it is important to allow them to vent and not feel like you are trying to fix their
situation. They just want you to be able to sit there with them and be like "you know what this
situation you are in does suck and I hate that for you" versus immediately giving them advice
or adding your own situation. I would say that my method follows some of the helping
processes discussed in the textbook. I do a good job of assessing the situation so that my
friends know that they can trust me.
One time that I helped a friend was the son of one of my neighbours who was kicked out of the
family’s home and left to fend for himself. I could tell that he needed help and someone to talk
to that he trusted. Shortly after he was evicted, I invited him over to my home, sat in my
kitchen, ate, and that is when he started opening to me. As he was talking, I made sure to listen
closely and maintain eye contact to understand what help he needed from me. It turns out the
reason he was kicked out of his family’s home was because he became addicted to heroin.
Even though I never suffered from drug addiction, I had previous experience helping relatives
of mine with the same kind of problem, so I knew that he needed someone who would listen
and talk with him about his problem.
From the helping process outlined in Chapter 7, similarities I found between what I did and the
process were that I was able to provide a comfortable setting for him and help him explore
options of getting the support he needed to solve his problem. What I did was also like the step
of exploring the problem as my neighbour discussed the problem he was going through and
touched upon some of the root causes of it such as hanging around the wrong crowd as well as
psychological reasons. Having relatives that also suffered from drug addiction and helping
them, I was already familiar with some of the programs or agencies my neighbour could
approach for help. So, in a way, it felt like I was referring him to more qualified professionals
which mirrors the final step of ending client services.
At the time, she had a young daughter but was in a physically and emotionally abusive
relationship with her child's father. The abuser had already said he would kill her several times
if she tried to leave. He was physically and mentally abusive. He also seemed to be mentally
unstable, from her experience, so she believed him, she called the cops on a few occasions, but
that caused her situation to get worst. She did not feel strong enough to leave. She did not feel
she had a way out.
So to escape, we had to devise an escape plan. She needed to execute the plans properly to get
away safely.
My questions to her were:
1. If you leave, are you going to return? Her answer was, "no!"
2. Where will you go? Her mother
3. Will you be safe there? Her response was yes!
4th. Are you willing to leave everything behind? Her answer absolutely
5. Do you have the resources to get to your destination safely? Yes
I feel like I could help her with the execution of this process because I had family members
that were in similar situations and were able to leave successfully.
So the plan was worked out she trusted me to help her with the details.
The plan was for her to make sure she acted as normal as possible to do everything just like she
always does.
Her opportunity to leave was when he went to work in the mornings on this morning. She
would tell him she had to run some errands that day. And she would head to her safe place. She
was extremely nervous because she felt like he knew what she was thinking. The plan worked
because she was able to get to her mom's. Once he did realize she was gone, he lost his temper.
He threatened to kill her, telling her to watch her back. He came to her mom's and tried to
plead for her return. She had to call the authorities and get a restraining order. Leaving was just
the beginning. She had to start over with just the clothes on her back, no job, and a car that
barely worked with a toddler. She felt so alone and mentally drained. I helped her as much as I
could financially; however, she is the kind of person that seemed to thrive off of pity. The
more you gave, the more she seemed to need. She had a way of wording stuff, so you felt sorry
for her situation.
I offered her a part-time job at this time and allowed her to bring her child, and to my shock,
she was pregnant with her second child but not by the abuser. This created another issue in her
life because the father of this child. He does not want to hold responsibility for the child if she
does not want to be with him. She seems to keep getting into relationships that are not healthy.
My help to her was helpful because I listened to her issue, helped her explore her options and
the problem, and helped intervene to find solutions to help her get back on her feet. My
helping relationship made us closer, and she is a good friend who helps me in any way she can
go without hesitation.
While helping an individual to address their issue, a number of steps must be taken. The chief
stages that I follow involve preparation, the arrival of the client, exploring the issue,
intervention strategies and completing the client services. Recently, an elderly woman moved
to the neighbouring flat. As she was new to the locality, she was not comfortable staying
alone, and she would frequently tell me to visit her. I would visit her often and help her to get
familiar with the place. However, I felt that she was feeling paranoid while staying alone as
she had no one to interact with most of the time. Even though I was trying to spend as much
time as possible with her, her tension and worries did not reduce. So, I decided that I would
stay with her for an entire week and help her get accustomed to the new place and the new
environment. Even though the decision was somewhat challenging for me as I had to manage
my personal responsibilities along with taking care of her, it really worked. As I was there
with her most of the time, she was more at ease and was able to communicate with me and
share her worries more freely. I made sure to take her to the community park where she could
engage with other people, I also introduced her to my friends who were living nearby. Soon, I
realized that she had started gaining confidence in staying and adapting to the new place.
After I had stayed with her for one week, I asked the old lady whether she wanted me to stay at
her place for a longer period to give her company. I was pleasantly surprised to see that she
told me to resume my normal life and not worry about her. After moving back to my place, I
interacted with her like before and observed that she was a much more confident person. She
thanked me dearly, saying that I helped her to live independently in a new place at such an old
age. I felt extremely pleased when I realized that my small gesture had helped her in a big way
and she was able to live without feeling scared or paranoid. By exploring the problem in an in-
depth manner, I was able to implement a suitable intervention that helped in addressing the
issue she was encountering after moving to the new accommodation.
Today I will be talking about a friend who was relapsing with drugs after years of sobriety. c As
I sat there with open arms and looking her in the eye, I let her cry as I listened. I did not
physically comfort her because many times the person thinks that is a cue that they should now
stop crying. I asked her questions such as what event led up to her relapse? c Did she go out and
find the drugs or did a "friend" bring her the drugs. c I did not interrupt her as she spoke. c Much
of her language was rambling, but I did not interrupt her to bring her back to the topic at hand.
I just let her let out all of the pain inside. Then I asked her a few more questions. "How do
you feel now that you have relapsed?" c I attentively listened. c "Did she think this relapse was a
one-time mistake, or did she give up on sobriety for the time being?" She would often go off
topic, and that was fine with me. Then what we did was make a pros and cons list of using.
Once we put it on paper, she was able to see physically what she wanted to do. She decided
that she wanted to be clean again. c So, we looked up Narcotic Anonymous meetings near her. c
I offered to go with her, if she would like. c She said she would appreciate the support. Then we
had to come up with a plan to keep her clean in between meetings. We made another list of
those ideas. c One of them, by here choice, was to call me daily to let me know what was going
on in her life that day. c After we were done, we did embrace, and I told her how strong she was
and how she can do this again. As far as I know, she is sober to this day. I do not take credit
for this. c I am just super proud of her and the strides she made. I plan on using these tactics in
my professional life (except the hug) and hope I can help even one more person. It was a very
emotional situation, but one that I remember with tears welling up in my eyes.
