LIBERTY UNIVERSITY SCHOOL OF DIVINITY
Peacemakers Project: Final Paper Assignment
Submitted to Dr. Homer Anthony
In partial fulfillment of the requirements for the completion of
LEAD 610 (D03)
Team Leadership and Conflict Resolution
By
August 11, 2024
CONTENTS
INTRODUCTION 2
SECTION I
Glorify God: Conflict Provides Opportunities 4
Glorify God: Live At Peace 5
Glorify God: Trust In The Lord And Do Good 6
SECTION II
Get The Log Out Of Your Eye: Is This Really Worth Fighting Over? 7
Get The Log Out Of Your Eye: Conflict Starts In The Heart 8
Get The Log Out Of Your Eye: Confession Brings Freedom 9
SECTION III
Gently Restore: Just Between The Two Of You 10
Gently Restore: Speak The Truth In Love 11
Gentle Restore: Take One Or Two Others Along 11
SECTION IV
Go And Be Reconciled: Forgive As God Forgave You 12
CONCLUSION 13
BIBLIOGRAPHY 14
1
INTRODUCTION
The purpose of this assignment is to describe the situation, the ministry of reconciliation,
and the person with whom the author of this paper has a personal, unresolved conflict. The
conflict is ministry-related and exists between a pastor and a fulltime church staff member, i.e.,
the author of this paper. The statements made are based upon the author’s opinions shaped by his
firsthand experiences and professional relationship with the pastor in-question, over a seven year
period of time. The outcome of this assignment demonstrates the application of the conflict
resolution principles laid forth in the Peacemakers text and the lessons learned throughout the
Team Leadership and Conflict Resolution course modules, LEAD 610 (D03), Liberty University.
The Groups Pastor whose name is Blair, routinely does not follow through on ministry
related tasks or promises that he has agreed to lead or support. Blair’s personality represents one
that procrastinates. He is a reactionary leader who rises to the occasion at the last moment. His
task management practices achieve results though, at the cost of church staff pulling support
together as a team. This practice has influenced some of the church ministry leaders and
volunteers to avoid or plan their interaction around Blair, or to remove themselves altogether
from church-related projects in which Blair is leading.
The hierarchy design of this particular local church assigns each pastor with the
responsibility to provide pastoral direction to several ministry departments. One such department
is the men’s ministry. Tom is the men’s ministry director; a title and position that by design, is to
receive guidance and support from Blair. The men’s ministry events are forecasted well in
advance and with transparency throughout the church. The planning sessions for the men’s
ministry events define resource requirements and assign ownership for task completion. Blair has
unrestricted access to and participates in many of these events yet, he has repeatedly fallen short
2
of delivering support to the men’s ministry for the church. Blair offers his support to the men’s
ministry as he genuinely wants the ministry to flourish. Blair’s support to the men’s ministry
requires habitual reminders that prompt his response, at the last minute at times, or he forgets
altogether. In response to this conditioning, Tom manages each of the men’s ministry initiatives
and projects from cradle to grave autonomously, absent any requests for Blair’s support. Tom is
no longer initiative-taking at briefing men’s ministry related topics to Blair. Tom plans and
executes men’s ministry related events without acquiring Blair’s approval nor involving Blair in
the planning process. Blair is informed whenever he asks questions, which is seldom. Because of
the strain within this professional relationship, Tom feels rebellious and insubordinate to Blair as
he leads and directs the men’s ministry at church.
Tom retired from the United States Army. He thrives in a structured environment; a
workplace in which employers and employees are obedient to a chain of command and honor
one another’s oath to complete a mission. Teamwork and unity of effort are part of Tom’s work
ethic. Tom believes a person should fulfill the promises that one has agreed to lead or support.
Tom is guilty of assigning those same character and work ethic traits as expectations for his
pastoral leadership and church staff peers. Tom is aware the expectation is not fair nor realistic
for the church leadership and staff, for a variety of reasons.
THE CONFLICT STATEMENT
Tension fills the professional relationship between Tom and Blair because Tom does not
confidently trust Blair to be a dependable pastoral leader over the men’s ministry.
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SECTION I – Glorify God: Conflict Provides Opportunities
Tom’s frustration at Blair creates tension thus, generating Tom’s conflict with Blair. The
absence of Blair’s own accountability for task ownership and completion is disappointing for
Tom. In Tom’s opinion, Blair is not an organized leader and that is acceptable to Tom knowing
that God gifts each person differently with knowledge, skills, and abilities. 1 Corinthians 12:4
and Romans 12:6-8 are great reminders of this truth. Each person possesses different gifts
according to the grace given to them; the gifts are different, but the Spirit is the same.
Blair simply wants to be informed about men’ ministry events at the church. This is a
professional courtesy that Tom has fulfilled on numerous occasions. Tom has exhausted himself
at including Blair in every aspect of the men’s ministry. Tom has been transparent, receptive, and
submissive to Blair for guidance concerning men’s ministry. Afterall, there is a church staff
hierarchy and Tom thrives in a chain of command structure. Yet, the experiences with Blair over
time have proven to Tom, to not waste time and resources being with Blair discussing and/or
attending planning meetings concerning men’s ministry events. The habitual setbacks prompted
Tom to begin excluding Blair from men’s ministry planning meetings because Blair would either
arrive at the last minute of the meeting or fail to deliver on a promise. Tom does not withhold
men’s ministry information from Blair; answers questions when Blair asks. He chooses to no
longer seek Blair for leadership guidance concerning the men’s ministry.
The conflict provides opportunities. Numerous occasions were available for Tom to
pursue a resolution with Blair. Tom has heard several of Blair’s excuses and apologies over time.
Tom is not one to take this conflict to the Senior Executive Pastor (Chad), just not Tom’s style to
go over Blair’s head. Chad bears the responsibility to manage the Associate Pastors, not Tom.
Tom’s approach can be seen as running away from the conflict. This approach has not restored or
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added anything positive to the professional relationship between Tom and Blair. The author of
Peacemaker, Ken Sande, state “God can be glorified in every conflict. The best way to glorify
God in the midst of conflict is to depend on and draw attention to His grace; the undeserved love,
mercy, forgiveness, strength, and wisdom He gives to us through Jesus Christ.1 Sande’s statement
coupled with Tom’s military leadership, hits home with Tom. God does use conflict to reveal sin
in the lives of people. Tom needs to run toward the issue to seek resolution and to receive peace.
This is a Christ-centered resolution approach. Jesus Christ knew the cost and yet, He did not turn
away from it.
SECTION I – Glorify God: Live At Peace
The peace provided by God supersedes earthly circumstances and transcends all
understanding. Tom knows that God gives peace to those that accept Him. God provided man
with rules to follow as a means to receive peace. God even provided The Word as flesh, for man
to physically see the model of peace in practice. Tom accepted the precious gift of salvation yet,
continues to swim in the conflict pool. Tom can certainly be frustrated however, running away
from seeking resolution was not the example Jesus Christ provided for any Christian. Tom’s
behavior is a contributing factor in preventing his peace. Tom’s unwillingness to handover the
conflict matters to God has kept Tom from receiving peace.
Tom’s failure to accept peace from his conflict with Blair can be toxic to those within
Tom’s network of friends. Conflict can deplete one’s energy level and certainly be a mood killer.
Conflict can be a breeding ground for an alliance against Blair and can generate gossip. The
conflict with Blair can keep Tom from receiving and maintaining peace with other people. Sande
provides another reminder, “we are called by God to be at peace with everyone; to do all that we
1 Ken Sande. “The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict.” Grand Rapids: Baker Books,
2004, 31.
5
can to obtain peace.”2 Tom must control his tongue and manage his frustrations as to not taint
another’s opinion about Blair. Tom must be a “walk the talk” Christian that gives everything over
to God, trusts in God, and receives peace from God. Tom must do this in obedience to His
commands for this reconciliation to take root within Tom and between Blair.
SECTION I – Glorify God: Trust In The Lord And Do Good
Trusting in anything at all can be a challenging election for a person who lacks faith.
Trusting in the Lord requires confidence without hesitation. Zero reservations in knowing God’s
character. To place trust in God means to believe that He controls everything despite one’s
circumstances. Tom trusts God in knowing that He placed Blair in the position in Tom’s life for
good and not harm. Tom must see this opportunity from the perspective of growth. Tom runs
away from the conflict. Tom does not have peace because he has not given the conflict to God.
Tom tries to manage the conflict while in a silo; all by himself. The storms of tough times are
navigated best with a community versus all alone. Sande points to this reference as, “God
exercises ultimate control and works things out for His good purposes whenever sinful and
painful things occur. good purposes. God administers justice and rights all wrongs, and always at
the right time.”3
Tom has questioned the circumstances of the conflict and his relationship with Blair. Is
this a test from God? Tom is currently experiencing an uncomfortable level of heat as he is being
refined like iron for a future role, as Iron Sharpens Iron (Proverbs 27:17). God certainly allows
for man’s questions, temptations, and challenges for development. The Bible states in 1
Corinthians 10:13, that God does not allow a person to face temptations that are too much for
one to manage. An important note associated with this truth is each person has opportunities to
2 Ibid., 45.
3 Ibid., 63.
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avoid and/or escape trials and tribulations as they occur, and that they should not seek this alone.
God is ready to step in. No situation or circumstance exceeds God’s reach. Tom’s greatest chance
of victory in overcoming this conflict with Blair (temptations and obstacles in general) is to trust
in the Lord and to always be a true representative of Jesus Christ. Tom will, at some point,
surrender this conflict over to God. A casualty of this conflict is the amount of time that will have
passed before Tom truly drops the conflict at God’s feet. As a reminder, Tom is to feed on God’s
faithfulness and to delight himself in the Lord. God always gives and in all ways.
SECTION II – Get The Log Out Of Your Eye: Is This Really Worth Fighting Over?
Why is there a conflict? Does Tom understand what the argument(s) is about? So much
time has passed, and each party avoids the other. An extremely high probability that neither party
really understands the other’s experience and point of view. The conflict should be examined to
assess the validity of the facts bearing on the problem. The resources of one’s health, time,
finances, etc., have already been exhausted on this conflict because it must be worth fighting
over, correct? Tom has been offended. Blair’s shortcomings have offended Tom thus, the conflict
is personal. Tom and Blair should overlook one another’s personal faults and offenses. Sande
states, “We are imitating God’s extraordinary forgiveness toward us each time we overlook
another’s wrongs.”4 Further on within the Peacemaker book, Sande writes about possessing a
balance view of one another…to have a balance between strengths and weaknesses. He states, “a
person will often find it easier to overlook one’s minor offenses once that person regains a more
balanced view of that person.”5 Tom is capable to overlook the offenses. Exhausting for Tom,
indeed, yet how many times has God overlooked Tom’s offenses? Tom is allowing the emotional
conflict to generate friction between two co-workers. Tom assigned judgment after experiencing
4 Ibid., 82.
5 Ibid., 88.
7
the errors in Blair yet, Tom overlooks his own shortcomings. Tom should look within and
consider Blair’s perspective of Tom. He must remember that man is much more quicker and
acute to judging the small offences in one another, than those much larger offences in ourselves.
Matthew 7:5 suggests the following for Tom, “You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own
eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye.” Tom will realize
the conflict he has with Blair does not warrant the level of frustration invested and will seek to
resolve as a means that leads to peace.
SECTION II – Get The Log Out Of Your Eye: Conflict Starts In The Heart
Examining oneself. This task is difficult for many to accomplish or to at least acquire
accurate results and honest feedback. What is the condition of Tom’s heart? Peel the layers of the
onion back to reveal the core of the conflict. The professional relations between Tom and Blair
would be better (for Tom) if Blair were to accept responsibility and be reprimanded for his
actions. Tom wants Blair to feel the same level of frustration and disappointment that Tom has
felt. Tom wants Blair to have a planning team member that replicates Blair’s work ethic and lack
of responsibility. Tom wants to see and hear about Blair working with another “Blair.” The desire
of Tom’s heart for Blair to receive this same experience is an unrealistic expectation. Even if this
were to occur, does Blair’s reaction fill Tom’s heart with peace or revenge? What is Tom
searching for and who is Tom serving with this want of the heart? In this chapter, Sande defines
and demonstrates that “a person’s heart is the source and root of conflicts.”6 Sande applies
caution to Tom’s dangerous desire, “We worship a false god anytime we search for something
apart from God, fear something more than God, or trust in something other than God to make us
happy, fulfilled, or secure.7 Sande suggests each person to invite God into their heart fully. He
6 Ibid., 102.
7 Ibid., 109.
8
states, “a person’s top priority is to aggressively pursue an all-consuming worship of the living
God.” To ask God to “squeeze the idols out of the heart and to leave no room for the idols to
return.” God teaches each of us how to love, fear, and trust Him more than anything in this
world.”8 This is the step leading to a health heart for Tom…a heart for God.
SECTION II – Get The Log Out Of Your Eye: Confession Brings Freedom
Confession requires one to possess courage to admit mistakes. Confession can bring Tom
the freedom from guilt that he may possess from this conflict with Blair. In addition to freedom,
forgiveness and healing are also found in confession.
Tom was conditioned through his years of military service, to take charge (control) of
others, and to apply administrative actions to those that fail to comply. Tom has expectations for
himself, and others associated within the same profession and standards as him. Tom enjoys
management (control). Sin has several ways of intercepting and compromising one’s character
while in the management care (control) of others. This is an area in Tom’s life that requires
attention.
Sande states the method of writing down and recognizing the sin as part of the Seven A’s,
is an effective way to have freedom.9 Tom should write Blair a draft Email or letter. Name and
define the conflicts. Tom needs to be specific with the accusations and should remove all
emotions. Tom must be honest, admit, and accept his shortcomings of and wrongdoings against
Blair. Tom has sinned and he must own that as well. Tom must assign blame appropriately too.
Misplaced blame causes unnecessary conflict. Writing all of this down will assist Tom in seeing
what the conflict truly is, understanding the secondary effects of the conflict, and then
determining the legitimate value of the conflict. This exercise illustrates hurt in every direction,
8 Ibid., 112.
9 Ibid., 126.
9
by both Tom and Blair, generated by the conflict. The most crucial step of this writing
assignment for Tom is to seek forgiveness from Blair. Confession and forgiveness are the
forerunners to freedom.
SECTION III – Gently Restore: Just Between The Two Of You
Restoration. The reconciliation between Jesus Christ and Tom is essential for the
resolutions of this conflict. How does one become restored? How does one’s faults or a wrong
response become acceptable or a right response? Has Tom been able to identify the sin in his life
that is contributing to the conflict? Tom is projecting his feelings onto the challenges that he
encounters with Blair. What resources can Tom implement to receive this peace? The author
points the reader back to the Bible and in summary, Sande’s examples of reconciliation include
admonishing, confessing, correcting, instructing, reasoning with, rebuking, showing, teaching, or
warning.10
Sande notes the quickest pathway to a peaceful resolution is to speak with the person in-
question (Blair) as soon as possible. Implementing a prolonged alienation method would only
encourage Tom to continue fanning the flame of conflict. Truly, this is quite simple. If someone
is making false statements against Tom, then Tom should seek that person out for answers to
understand the reasoning. In the same, a Christian must advocate for a change in the person’s
actions whenever those actions dishonor God. Tom’s actions against Blair do not represent God.
Tom must change his ways. Sande states, “A conversation that incorporates God’s grace and the
right words (including one’s confession), lead to restored peace and stronger relationships.”11
10 Ibid., 145.
11 Ibid., 160.
10
SECTION III – Gently Restore: Speak The Truth In Love
Leadership is a challenging art and skill. It requires time filled with unique experiences to
develop proficiently. Part of the challenge is to get folks to agree with the one leading the effort.
Not all will agree. There is an art of persuasion. Part of the process is similar to a joint inventory
or an agreement of what both parties understand from one another. This technique points back to
the Seven A’s. Write down the recollection of the conversation or statement. Draw upon those
thoughts and then revisit. Is the emotional outcome the same or could it be different now? Tom
should write down the thoughts as he recalls each experience with Blair. Could there be another
reason that explains Blair’s behaviors; why Blair did or did not fulfill his promises to support
Tom? Tom should write this down and then speak with Blair about the issues while having the
document available for reference. This technique will help keep the conversation on point. As a
reminder to this point though, each believer is called to be Christ-like in all things. Tom cannot
be blunt. Strong words and accusations only add height and depth to defensive walls. Sande
writes, “Strong words are more likely to generate defensiveness and hostility against another, and
it is difficult to move to a responsive place once a conversation takes on this tone.”12
SECTION III – Gentle Restore: Take One Or Two Others Along
Having named and defined the contributing factors that have led to the conflict, reviewed
all findings absent the presence of emotions, the time has arrived for Tom to discuss the conflict
in an open forum with Blair. The church staff and Tom’s community groups (men’s group and his
Home Group) are great spiritual advising resources for transparency and accountability. There
may be a few individuals that have had similar experiences with Blair and/or add a unique
perspective for Tom to consider and presented to him with love and respect. Others will see this
need and desire for Tom and will invest additional time in him.
12 Ibid., 171.
11
The heart of this chapter’s message by Sande advocates that most Christians can resolve
the conflict between themselves and another by talking privately to the other party. Tom can
apply Sande’s suggestion that incorporates Matthew 18 and 1 Corinthians 6, as these two
passages can assist Christians in resolving conflict with another Christian as a biblical basis.13
Sande refers to community involvement, take one or two others along, as cooperative
negotiation. Christians rally together. They coordinate a response. The cooperative negotiation
repeatedly commands Christians to have an active concern for the needs and well-being of other
believers.14 Again, Tom would benefit by utilizing his community as a sounding board for prayer
and counsel before seeking and sharing with Blair.
SECTION IV – Go And Be Reconciled: Forgive As God Forgave You
According to Tom, Blair has never made any genuine effort to seek forgiveness. Apology
after apology…yes, but zero request for forgiveness specifically. As stated earlier, Tom must
overlook the transgressions against him. Conflicts are not worth the invested energy, emotional
or mental fatigue. The Apostle Paul instructs Christians in the book of Ephesians, in this way: “to
be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ forgave you.”
Ephesians 4:32.
As part of this exercise, Tom should not focus on the conflict. He should not remind Blair
about the conflict or any of Blair’s past failures. Tom must certainly not gossip or generate any
form of gossip. Tom should not informally seek an alliance or an affiliation of those that have
shared experiences with Blair. Afterall, is Tom as a Christian, and as such: is Tom called to tear
people down or left them up? Tom claims to be a leader shaped by challenging assignments. Tom
13 Ibid., 188.
14 Ibid., 227.
12
needs to take the appropriates steps in following Jesus Christ and forgive Blair. Actively seek
Blair for forgiveness just as God has forgiven each person.
Sande points to this in how God tears down the walls that our sins have built, and He
opens the way for a renewed relationship with Him through forgiveness, which is exactly what
Tom can do when he forgives as the Lord forgives Tom. This practice of biblical forgiveness is
built upon four promises that Tom must take. One again: 1) Tom must not dwell on this incident
with Blair, 2) Tom must not mention this incident again and use it against Blair, 3) Tom must not
talk to others about Blair nor allow the conflict to stand between him and Blair or hinder their
relationship. Biblical forgives produces exactly what God does for each person and it is what He
calls each person to do for one another.
CONCLUSION
The lessons shared by Sande and throughout the course modules are practical and have
proven to be successful in removing conflict and restoring relationships. Tom is capable and has
the correct and available resources in his favor, to initiate each of the steps that Sande defined.
Tom is at fault. Blair might be as well. Tom must focus on himself and his relationship in Christ,
which affects those around him. Tom must be used as a vessel that attracts non-believers to Jesus
Christ. Tom cannot be used as a gossip generating one-man protest march against Blair. Tom
must stop carrying and drop everything at God’s feet, seek forgiveness, and accept the peace that
God offers. Tom must allow for restoration in his relationship with Blair, and this is absolutely
achievable.
BIBLIOGRAPHY
13
Sande, Ken.LThe Peacemaker: Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict. 3rd ed. Grand
Rapids: Baker Books, 2004.
14
