Running head: EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION TAKES PRACTICE
Effective Communication Takes Practice
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Liberty University
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EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION TAKES PRACTICE
I found that the listening techniques, described by Petersen (2012), to be valuable
communication tools, though a bit challenging to implement during a conversation. After 27
years of marriage, one may assume that I have communication with my husband, Ron, figured
out. We were recently discussing how best to divide the sale profits of one of our investment
properties. I felt obligated to point out that I was feeling short-changed as Ron was realizing the
majority of the profits. After gently demanding that I see the breakdown dollar amounts on
paper, I noticed his voice getting louder. I could almost hear the “thud” and see his brain going
flat. As the conversation began to get louder, I unloaded my aerosol of new techniques of
effective communication (Petersen, 2012). I began with technique one, and acknowledged that
he did not want to be questioned about the profit proceeds (Petersen, 2012). Thankfully he was
smiling though his eyes were bulging from his head. I then tried our technique two to repeat
accurately his reasoning for receiving the majority of the profits (Petersen, 2012).
At this frustrating point, I realized how the conversation quickly turned from who was
correct, to both of us needing to win. When I attempted to repeat his views accurately, I
understood how easy it was for me to taint my repeating reply with a little proverbial dig. The
conversation ended with my threats of refusing to do business with Ron in the future. He jumped
from the dinner table and began slamming the dinner dishes into the dishwasher. Our children
had long since cleared the room in favor of a more interesting You Tube video.
Thankfully, we enacted Ephesians 4:26 on not going to bed angry and tried the
conversation again before we turned in for the night. It was clear that I was incorrect about my
financial investment in this situation and was receiving my due profits. It was also clear that we
were each communicating through our frustrated filters. Neither of us was level-headed enough
to decode the actual conversation messages. I experienced yet again, the insatiable need to be
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EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION TAKES PRACTICE
right, just as Petersen describes. I also could see my husband formulating a fast rebuttal reply
and not listening.
The worldview of couples’ communication is an eagerness to win over their partner or to
be the loudest to the detriment of the relationship. The Biblical view, in Collusions 4:6, states to
communicate in such a way that our words are to be seasoned with salt and gracious. To be an
effective listener, I am going to need to go back through several of these texts again to reread and
practice these skills and techniques (Petersen, 2012). The textbook makes the process seem so
simple to implement, but in the middle of a flat-brain, it is hard to remember and implement the
techniques (Petersen, 2012). I believe that I may be my own barrier to effective communication
and will have many future opportunities to overcome my own flat-brain. As a strong Uniquely
You (2019) “D” temperament, I have to remind myself of how easily I feel the need to conquer
the conversation. I know that I need to be mindful of my personality challenges and to practice
these listening techniques to best serve others. When counseling married couples, in the future, I
need to be realistic about teaching these techniques for communication.
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EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION TAKES PRACTICE
References
Petersen, J. C. (2015). Why don’t we listen better? Communicating and connecting in relationships
(2nd ed.) Portland, OR: Petersen Publications. .
Uniquely You, Inc. Leadership online profile: Professional expanded. Uniquely You Resources
(Online ed.).
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