Divorce is not always a pleasant experience in a person’s life. In today’s society divorce has become a
normal process in our lives. Often times couples don’t realize the consequences that comes along with
making the decision to get a divorce especially the impact it has on children. When parents make the
decision to get divorced children are not always taken into consideration during the process. According
to recent studies millions of children suffer from the divorce of their parents. Statistics has shown that
roughly forty percent of all marriages end in divorce in the United States. Marriages fail for several
reasons but one of the main reasons why marriages fail is because of irreconcilable differences. Only
4.2% of all divorces were attributed to financial problems, whereas 80% were attributed to irreconcilable
differences (U.S. Bureau of Census,1998). The impact divorce has on a family is far more noticeable to
the children of the family than to the parents. As a child, there are many circumstances or situations that
affect a view, opinion, attitude, and/or memory.
Divorce affects all children differently, depending on their age, gender and stage of development. Often
times children feel like their world has fallen apart when their parents get divorced. Children are
innocent beings and have no choice but to deal with the impact their parents have caused when they
make the decision to end their marriage. Divorce causes many different feeling and behaviors in children
of all ages. Divorce can lead to problems with the child’s perception of day to day life. In today’s society
children struggle daily to cope with peer pressure, learning and trying to figure out exactly who they are.
Children react and handle it differently in their own individual ways. Each child does experience some
kind of emotional change during the process. According to our textbook “Children whose parents divorce
(or divorce and remarry) have higher rates of behavioral, emotional and cognitive problems than
children who parents maintain a stable marriage (the “continuously married”) (Broderick & Blewitt,
2015). Some children have several emotional reactions including sadness, embarrassment, betrayal,
abandonment, rejection, loneliness, and angry. A child especially preschoolers live with the feeling of
guilt. This usually happens when a child thinks that he or she had caused the divorce to take place. The
child would think that the fights and arguments that took place in the household is caused by them and
that they have no power to control to stop it, which has led to divorce. This could be due to the child’s
“limited cognitive abilities" causing them to feel puzzled by their parents’ divorce. Several individual
studies of the consequences of divorce sometimes yield inconsistent result, some finding serious, long-
term consequences for children, and others suggesting only temporary problems (Broderick & Blewitt,
2015).
According to Amato & Cheadle (2005), Divorce rates tend to be higher for adults who experienced their
parents’ divorce during childhood (Amato & Cheadle ,2005). Intergenerational transmission of marital
strife and divorce even extends to the third generation, with children of the children of divorce more
likely to divorce (Amato & Cheadle, 2005) cited in Broderick & Blewitt, 2015. About 20% to 25% of
children whose parents divorce have one or more of the above mentioned problematic outcomes, while
about 10% of children continuously married parents do (Hetherington et al., 1998). Although divorce
children have difficulties coping to this lifestyle change they are able to overcome the difficulties that
their parent’s marital changes create for them (Broderick & Blewitt, 2015). Children who have
adjustment problems in the first year or two after a divorce often show improvements thereafter,
although new developmental challenges, such as becoming an adolescent, can precipitate new problems
(Broderick & Blewitt, 2015). Both boys and girls are negatively affected by divorce, but some girls show
remarkable resilience, rising to the challenge of increased responsibility, especially in mother-headed
household boys are less likely to do so (Broderick & Blewitt, 2015). Boys adjust better to a mother’s
remarriage apparently benefiting from a stepfather in the home, whereas girls tend not to adjust well to
living in stepfamilies (Broderick & Blewitt, 2015).
From a biblical point of view divorce should not happen. The bible speaks about divorce in both the Old
Testament and the New Testament. As a Christian, I believe it is important to remember what’s
important in a marriage always keep in mind the biblical principles to help build and maintain strong
marriages. it would be helpful for married couples to attend marriage counseling or meet with their
pastor to keep reminding them the importance of marriage.
References:
Amato, P.R., & Cheadle, J. (2005). The long reach divorce: Divorce and child well-being across three
generations. Journal of Marriage and Family, 67,191-206.
Amato, P.R., & Keith. (1991). Consequences of parental divorce for children’s well-being: A meta-analysis.
Psychological Bulletin 10, 24-46.
Broderick, P. C., & Blewitt, P. (2015). The life span: Human development for helping professionals (4th
ed.). Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson
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