Initial post: 500 words
In Chapter 21 of the Ripley & Worthington textbook, the FREE model is discussed. Briefly
explain the FREE model in your thread and describe at least 1 aspect of the model that you
appreciate and why.
The Forgiving and Reconciling through Experiencing Empathy (FREE) model can be
described as a forgiveness based intervention that utilizes the hope-focused couple approach
(Ripley & Worthington, 2014). The goal of this intervention is to effectively assist couples in the
process of forgiveness and togetherness (reconciliation). There are essentially four steps that
happen during this reconciliation intervention: decision, discussion, detoxification, and
devotion.
During the first step, decisions are made by a couple to reconcile and figure out how and
when reconciliation will occur in order to fix the issues present (Ripley & Worthington, 2014). If
there are any reservations or objections from either person, the other elements of the FREE
process can be off balance and become non-productive. Next, during discussion, an appropriate
way to provide a platform for discussion of any issues or wrongdoings is addressed and then an
appropriate way to handle a confession of that wrongdoing is determined. During this second
step of reconciliation, a model called REACH forgiveness is used. It helps the person that was
done wrong begin the forgiving process after an apology and confession has been made by the
wrongdoer. The detoxification step involves learning how to identify causes of problems that
may be destroying the relationship and then determine ways to remove that problem.
Relationships, like any other mechanism, require maintenance and the need for detoxification is
an important part of the maintenance process. Lastly, devotion allows for a couple to focus on
rebuilding their relationship after the detox stage is complete by focusing on their love and
commitment to their relationship and each other (Strelan, 2018).
One aspect of the FREE model that I appreciate is the stress-and-coping theory of
forgiveness. Not only is this theory the FREE model’s basis for its methods, it also focuses on
very important aspects of forgiveness which are stressors, appraisal, stress reactions, and
coping mechanisms (Ripley & Worthington, 2014). I appreciated this aspect and its detailed
explanation because it shows how it has a part in the production of forgiveness if the various
parts are recognized. For example, they explained that being done wrong or getting hurt by
someone is considered a stressor and how people choose to view the wrongdoing affects the
ability or need for forgiveness. By appraising or evaluating the act of wrongdoing, the individual
is able to determine the threat and injustice gap. How the action is perceived then influences
the stress reaction of a person and can often be accompanied with negative emotions and
motivations toward the wrongdoer. Lastly, the skills the person decides to use while trying to
cope with the wrongdoing affects their ability to forgive. It has been said that if justice can be
balanced and the stress reaction be addressed through coping skills, then forgiveness can occur.
Unfortunately, that does not always happen, which results in unforgiveness and those negative
emotions become long-lasting. This is not a healthy mindset, which is why it is important to
understand the forgiving process and the different aspects that go into it and affect an
individual’s ability to genuinely forgive the way God desires us to (Ripley & Worthington, 2014).
References
Ripley, J. S., & Worthington, E. L. (2014). Couple therapy: A new hope-focused approach.
InterVarsity Press.
Strelan, P. (2018). Justice and forgiveness in interpersonal relationships. Current directions in
psychological science, 27(1), 20–24.
Reply post: 400 words
In your reply, select 1 of the 7 FREE interventions (21-1 thru 21-7, pp 288–306) that you feel is
powerful. Explain why you feel this particular intervention is important and why. It would be
wise to support this section with research. If you are wondering what might be good resources
for this portion of the forum, look at the works of Robert Enright, Fred DiBlasio, or Fred Luskin,
which all deal with forgiveness. Another potential resource is John Gottman’s work in After a
Fight (5 step process in reconciliation) focusing on marriage issues.
Hi Evelin,
I really appreciate your insight and perspective on the FREE model. I thought the way you
described the different aspects of the FREE model was easy to comprehend and very
informative. I also appreciated how you pointed out the importance of individuals needing to
put in the work to accomplish forgiveness. Without their willingness to try, the rest of the steps
would not be beneficial. The one aspect that I chose to discuss in my initial post was the stress-
and-coping theory of forgiveness. Not only is this theory the FREE model’s basis for its methods,
it also focuses on very important aspects of forgiveness and provides insight on how it has a
part in the production of forgiveness if the various parts (stressors, appraisal, stress reactions,
and coping mechanisms) are recognized (Ripley & Worthington, 2014).
The seven interventions that were noted to work well when assisting couples with
forgiveness are 1) Preparing for Forgiveness, 2) Dealing with Resistances, Fuzzy Definitions and
Fears, 3) Letter of Apology, 4) REACH Forgiveness, 5) Reducing the Injustice Gap by Amends, 6)
Forgiving the Self, and 7) Humility in Self (Ripley & Worthington, 2014). After reading through
these interventions, they all appear very practical and result-oriented. Also, each of these 7
interventions underscore the importance of having a forbearing heart towards a partner who
has partaken in wrongdoing actions against you. That being said, it was hard to pick just one
intervention that I found to be the most powerful, but I decided to further discuss the first
intervention, Preparing for Forgiveness. I found this intervention to be very important because
as the textbook mentions, “proper preparation can be half of the work in forgiveness” (Ripley &
Worthington, 2014, p. 288). The intervention of Preparing for Forgiveness contained four
suggestion focus areas in helping couples which include, Increasing Empathy, Emotional
Softening, Emotional Regulation, and Seeking Wisdom from God. The first step, Increasing
Empathy, suggests that the couples use techniques that allow them to strengthen and/or create
deep empathy for each other and their relationship. Emotional Softening involves the couples
breaking down barriers that may be interfering with their ability to be vulnerable. Next,
Emotional Regulation refers to the need of each person to learn and utilize skills that allow
them to be able to regulate their emotional responses. Lastly, the process of Seeking Wisdom
from God consists of individuals seeking God’s wisdom and assistance, through various
techniques, in order to gain the strength to forgive the person who did them wrong (Ripley &
Worthington, 2014).
References
Ripley, J. S., & Worthington, E. L. (2014). Couple therapy: A new hope-focused approach.
InterVarsity Press.
Powered by TCPDF (www.tcpdf.org)
