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Attempts Attempt1 score is2Attempt 2 was not attempted.-Attempt 3 was not attempted.-
Keep the Highest 2 out of 22 / 2
1. Revising Essays - Part 1
After you have written your first draft, you are now ready to begin revising and proofreading your
essay. Revising is perhaps the most important step in the essay-writing process. Read your first draft
slowly and carefully to yourself, aloud if possible. Imagine you are a reader who has never seen the
paper before. As you read, underline trouble spots and write in the margins. Here are some things to
check when you are revising, peer reviewing, and proofreading:
Questions to Ask Yourself While Revising an Essay
Directions: For each of the following pairs of thesis statements, select which thesis statement is
clearer.
Thesis One: After reviewing the plan, the project committee decided that the new building would be
too small, too modern, and too expensive.
Thesis Two: After reviewing the offered proposal, the committee decided that it would be unwise to
go forward with the plan.
Which thesis is clearer?
Thesis One
Thesis Two
Points:
1 / 1
Close Explanation
Explanation:
"Thesis One" is correct. This thesis statement is clear because it contains three specific items and
avoids vague phrases. The facts that the new building would be too small and too modern are clearly
stated reasons. The fact that it is also too expensive is clear, too. These three items set up the
organization of the paragraphs of the essay that will follow: size, style, and expense.
•Are your thesis statement and topic sentences clear?
•Does the body of your essay fully support your thesis statement?
•Are your paragraphs arranged in order, and are they linked together?
•Do your paragraphs have examples and details to support your points?
•Do your sentences have correct structure and a variety of structure?
Thesis One: The committee projected that the new corporate building would not be adequate for their
needs as they expanded.
Thesis Two: The committee determined that the new corporate building would be too small, based on
the fact that they would be hiring one hundred new employees within the next two years.
Which thesis is clearer?
Thesis One
Thesis Two
Points:
1 / 1
Close Explanation
Explanation:
"Thesis Two" is correct. This topic sentence is clear and specific about the reasons for the decision
("hiring one hundred new employees within the next two years"), and it establishes the plan for the
rest of the essay.
Directions: Read the following paragraph sections, and choose the one that is most unified and
coherent with the most details and examples.
(a) There are advantages and disadvantages to doing research either at the library or on the Internet.
Before there was Internet, students had to go the library if they wanted to get information. At the
library, students would have to look up a subject on paper index cards in order to find the book they
wanted. Then they would have to go to the shelves to locate the book in hopes that it was still there.
So research was much more time consuming, but in some ways more rewarding, too. Students had a
chance to study with other people, and they could depend on the accuracy of the information in the
books. Searching on the Internet is very different. Usually students are doing the research alone, which
can isolate them, and sometimes the information they receive is not reliable. However, with the
Internet they can always quickly check the facts. The best thing about Internet research is that
students can do it quickly, which allows them to meet tight deadlines. Plus, the time they save can be
spent doing other work or having fun with their friends. However, today students can have the best of
both worlds because libraries offer the Internet as well.
(b) There are advantages and disadvantages to doing research either at the library or on the Internet,
and a combination of both methods is a good solution. Before the Internet, if students wanted to do
research they had to go the library to look up information. It was slow work because they had to look
everywhere to find what they needed, and this took a long time. They never knew where to look first,
and often they would end up wandering around looking at the shelves. This was not a very good way to
do research, but some of the books they found were very interesting. I have friends who never go to
the library. Other people tell me that they like the library because they can go there and meet other
people. If they have an outgoing personality, meeting other people is very important. Doing research
on the Internet is much better. Students can do it anytime, and they get the information quickly. Plus,
they don't have to drive anywhere, and they can do all their research at home. That way they can be
doing a lot of other things instead of doing research.
Points:
1 / 1
Close Explanation
Explanation:
Paragraph section (a) is more unified and coherent because it clearly states the advantages and
disadvantages, and it does not include sentences that do not belong. First, the paragraph is organized
into listing the advantages and disadvantages of researching at the library. Then, it lists the
advantages and disadvantages of researching on the Internet. Throughout the paragraph, the ideas
are linked together with helpful linking words that create coherence, such as "then," "so," "however,"
and "plus."
