COMS 560
JOURNAL ACTIVITIES 10-17
Journal Activity 10
Cahn & Abigail 6 - Work With it - p. 154 #1 Answer all questions.
a. What are the issues in this conflict? The issues in this conflict are that one roommate needs more
space to effectively use their computer. Additionally, the other roommate feels that they are in charge of
the room and that their suggestions are superior to the others.
b. Define power and describe the role played by an imbalance of power in this situation. How might
the parties equalize power? According to the text, power is the ability to influence or control events.
The imbalance of power in this situation is that one roommate is controlling who gets to use which desk
in the room and they are essentially stating that they control all organization decisions in the room. The
parties could equalize power through compromise over the amount of space used by each roommate, for
example; whoever gets the larger desk maybe gives up a little bit of space somewhere else.
c. Define competition and describe the role it played (could have played) in this situation. How might
the parties convert the situation from a competitive one to a cooperative one? According to the text,
in competition, the parties are positioned against each other, emphasis is placed on winning, and
outcomes are framed as win–lose. The role it played in this situation is that the two roommates are
competing over the decision making regarding the space in the room and more specifically the larger of
the two desks. They convert this situation through collaborative communication which would show that
they are working towards a common goal of adequate space for both parties. Additionally, they could
use the stop, think, listen, and communicate principle to ensure proper communication.
d. Define trust and describe the role played by distrust in this situation. How might the parties regain
one another’s trust? Based on the text, trust is the belief that another is benevolent or honest toward the
trusting individual, and that the other person’s caring transcends any direct benefits the other receives as
a result of caring. The role played by distrust in this situation is that the roommate B did not trust
roommate A to make sound decisions regarding use of space and organization within the room.
Additionally, that would cause roommate A to not have any trust in roommate B to ever hear them out
on any suggestions. They could regain each other’s trust through compromise and collaborative
communication on issues moving forward.
e. Define defensive behavior and describe the role played by defensive behaviors in this situation.
How might the parties engage in more supportive behavior? Defensive behavior is aggressive or
submissive attitude or language that includes control, superiority and evaluation. Roommate B
automatically became defensive when Roommate A asked to switch desks. Roommate #1 did not ask to
switch desks in a manner that awarded defensive behavior. Roommate B wanted to control the situation
and control any changes that occurred in their room. For more supportive behavior Roommate B should
hear his roommate out since they both are sharing the living space. Instead of calling his roommate
names, Roommate B should try to compromise and create a solution that is fair and equal to both.
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f. Define groupthink and describe the role played by groupthink in a situation. How might the
parties have engaged in constructive conflict management? Groupthink occurs when people gather
together and are committed to ideas and goals and choose to go along with the majority instead of
engaging in conflict. When Roommate A was finished with asking to switch desks, Roommate B could
have stated his stance in a more positive matter instead of insulting his roommate. This would have
fostered a more successful constructive conflict management.
Journal Activity 11
Cahn & Abigail 8 Work with it #2 p. 199. Answer all questions.
a. In this case study the individual is dealing with distress. She is unable to deal with the possibility that
she may have a different roommate next year.
b. The roommate can utilize self-talk to help her to calm her nerves and to not constantly get agitated and
annoyed by her roommate. Her thinking and anxiousness is stopping her from enjoying the time that she
currently has left with her roommate.
c. She could develop a more playful spirit by not taking any of the situations seriously, staying calm and
enjoying the moment. In future situations, she can choose to not accept or calmly talk out her issues
instead of making a scene.
d. The roommate is not able to eliminate her stressor situation completely. She must deal with her thoughts
regarding her problems. If she changes the way she thinks about the situation she can ultimately change
the way she feels.
Journal Activity 12
Cahn & Abigail 8 - Apply it - #2 p. 199.
Column 1: School
Parenting
Anxiety
Column 2: Fear of failing a class
Doubtful in being able to please everyone around me
I believe sometimes I am weak because I allow my nerves to take over
Column 3: Believe and be confident in yourself and know that I am smart enough
I am doing my best to be able to provide them what they need day by day.
Breathe and think before allowing the nerves to take over and know that I m stronger
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COMS 560
Journal Activity 13
Cahn & Abigail8 p. 199. #3 Work with it. A, B, C.
a. The first case study is anger in scenario; the second case study illustrates anger-controller; the third case
study shows the situation of anger in who is venting anger, and the fourth case study is displaying an
anger-out situation.
b. Anger in the first case study is not being managed well since the anger is just being kept away and not
being communicated properly. Therefore, people around the angry subject do not know whenever she is
upset and conflict management cannot be properly taken. On the second case, the anger is being
managed effectively. The persons involved in the situation know what they have to do to be able to
resolve an existing conflict between them. The third situation was also not managed properly. The
situation was handled by further instigating anger on each other without really having the chance to talk
things through directly with each other. The last case study was also improperly handled. The emotions
in the situations got ahead of the person and thus resorted to a more aggressive behavior.
c. For the first case, it would be better handled if the anger in housemate communicated her emotions to
the others properly and also if the other housemates had put more effort in attempting to understand
what she was really feeling. The third case study could properly be handled through correct and direct
communication instead of talking behind backs. For the last case, it could have been managed properly
if they had resorted to the S-TLC method instead of facing the problem head-on without assessing the
situation, listening to each other’s side and properly communicating their concerns.
Journal Activity 14
Cahn & Abigail 8 - Apply it. - # 3 p.199
Column 1: I reacted angry with my family.
Column 2: 5 – extremely angry and disappointed
Column 3: I was angry and just started arguing because no one would help or contribute to cleaning
and keeping the house neat, so I can have time to do my assignments and other chores
that needed to be done.
I could have maybe spoke to them first and explain to them that at the moment I needed
some help. I could have communicated better so they can understand I had to do
assignments and could have told them I would appreciate if they help with house chores
and maintain the house clean so I won’t have to stress about those situations.
Journal Activity 15
Cahn & Abigail 9 Discuss it. P. 222 #1-4. Write out answers. No discussion required.
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COMS 560
1. The issues in the conflict are that David lied to Maria about not being able to go to the concert. It
appeared that he lied multiple times to avoid not going to the concert with Maria. Maria was very
excited and looking forward to going to the concert and going with David. Instead of giving his tickets
to his cousin as he said he decided to go without Maria and take his ex-girlfriend Tina. The issues are
collectively intangible, personality and relationship conflict issue.
2. David’s behavior constitutes a relational transgression because he lied multiple times to his girlfriend
instead of being honest with her. His lying violated the rules of their relationship and altering Maria’s
perception of him and the relationship.
3. In order for Maria and David to stay together and have a successful relationship they would have to
practice forgiveness and reconciliation. Maria would need to forgive David for his lying and the
emotional pain that it caused her. Forgiveness is not an overnight process and it may take weeks or
months for Maria to fully forgive and for David to get back the trust he lost from Maria. If Maria
chooses to forgive David she does not have to reconcile with him.
4. Maria and David must both understand that forgiveness will not happen overnight. Maria must
acknowledge that David lied to hurt, betrayed her trust and hurt her. She must cry, vent, and do whatever
she needs to do to experience the anger and let it out. She must not pay the victim and try to understand
why David chose to lie. She must also talk with friends or family to be her support system in her efforts
of forgiving David. She must see David as a person, who is flawed and not perfect. Everyone makes
mistakes in life. Maria should also consider how the situation has made her grow as a person and what it
taught her. If I were her I would be careful about dating people who are out of a recent relationship and
maybe stay away from them until they are over the ex. I would also ask the relationships they have with
their exes upfront so she is aware.
Journal Activity 16
Cahn & Abigail 9 - Work with it - P. 221.
In this particular case study, Jeanne upset Mark by continuing to mislead him and let him down regarding the
borrowing of money from her brother. She insisted that she would pay him back just as she has claimed to do
such many times before, but she never has. Mark’s behavior is that of a problematic situation because he is
allowing this issue to continue to get the better of him time and time again. It is surely difficult for him since it
is his sister whom he loves and cares for; however, it is problematic nonetheless.
Being deceived over and over again is likely what makes it difficult for Mark to forgive his sister. He is
probably wondering why he should ever trust her again since she has wronged him so many times before. For
the forgiveness process to being, it is going to require a sincere apology and change from the sister, as well as
some acceptance from Mark. This will prove to be a difficult task since the issue has been ongoing for quite
some time. However, this process would be beneficial for Mark so that his relationship with his sister is not
entirely destroyed.
For forgiveness to take place Jeanne is first going to have to truly apologize for countless deceptions of her
brother. In addition to that, Mark is going to have to listen to this apology and accept the apology for what it is.
Mark will likely have the ability to forgive his sister once some time has passed allowing for emotional wounds
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to heal. However, once Mark has forgiven his sister that does not mean he will forget all the breaks in trust
Jeanne has committed. Additionally, Mark will always care for his sister but he will likely never be able to help
her again and that is probably best if they are both to move on from past transgressions.
Journal Activity 17
Cahn & Abigail 10 - Work with it #1 - p. 242
a. To what extent did the parties apply the four principles of negotiation (people,interests, etc.)? If
not, how could they? They did not apply the four principles very well at all it seemed. They weren’t
focused on people, interests, or anything. Both parties’ concerns were only surrounding the amount of
budget contributed to the new staff position. They could have separated people from the problem by not
being concerned with the amount of staffing each party has. They could have focused on the interests of
security and customer service that the receptionist could provide. They could have suggested more
options beyond “who is going to pay less.” Lastly, they needed to make an objective decision on the
matter.
b. Did the parties use any of the four ways to generate more options (prioritizing, bridging, etc.)? If
not, how could they? The only option generated in this situation was cost-cutting. Perhaps they could
have used brainstorming to determine more methods for funding the position and could have had better
discussion regarding how the staffing will be budgeted.
c. Did the parties incorporate any of the recommendations for converting competitive negotiation to
cooperation (talking cooperation, fractionation, etc.)? If not, how could they? They could have
converted the competition to cooperation by understanding that the position to be filled is equally
beneficial to both of their employees. The two parties were too focused on the monetary value of the
position and they should have understood that there are mutual benefits received by the new position.
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