COMMUNICATION COMPETENCE
A Critical Dimension of Good Communication
• Good Communication is Competent Communication
Communication competence is essential to satisfy fundamental human needs
(Communication and survival):
Humans have basic needs (for bodies and beings)
oAbraham Burrows
oSafety – the need to feel protected from dangers, difficulties, and privations that
threaten our physical well-being (need to feel protected)
oSecurity – the need to feel relationally accepted, cherished, and unconditionally
loved by others (the need for love may be the most powerful need that humans
have) (supersedes everything)
oSelf-efficacy – the need to feel that we’ve impacted our world in a way that
makes a difference through our own unique capabilities (the need to feel like you
make a difference)
oSignificance – the need to feel appreciated, respected, and esteemed by others for
our worthwhile contributions (wanting to be recognized, accepted, esteemed,
respected)
Only cooperation accomplished through communication can satisfy our fundamental
needs
oIf we don't communicate, then we will die – physically or psychologically
oIf we do not satisfy our needs, we’ll die
Can cause depression if needs are not satisfied
Communication allows us to satisfy these needs
• Core Components of Competent Communication (Spitzberg & Cupach)
Physical violence in romantic relations is a lot more common than known
1/3 of relations after the physical violence have improved according to a theory
Knowledge
Skill
Passion
Compassion
Competent
Communicator
Appropriate for
Relationships
Effective
Content
What it takes to be a good communicator^^
Knowledge without skill is not fully competent
Knowledge and skill are interconnected
Four prerequisite factors or ingredients for competent communication
oTwo interconnected capabilities:
Knowledge – know what to say
Skill – know how to say it
oTwo interconnected motivations:
Passion – care about what to say (believing what they are saying)
There is a difference between “I believe you can do it” and “I
believe in you”
There are physical signs of when people believe in something
Compassion – care about who it’s said to
Two characteristic outcomes or results of competent communication
oRelational appropriateness – satisfies our expectations (will not focus on one and
not the other)
Social expectations – common to cultural context (society tells you
what is wrong and right)
Interpersonal expectations – unique to relationship
Conflict management expectations – rules of engagement
oContent effectiveness – accomplishes my goals (communicator goals)
Instrumental goals – winning your cooperation to achieve what I
desire
Self-presentation goals – getting you to see me the way I want to be
seen (managing your image)
Relational goals – developing the kind of relationship with you I
hope for
• Dual Dimensions of Competently Communicated Messages
Two dimensions of every message: relationship and content
A communicator can focus on neither, either, or both of these dimensions when
communicating
Relationship
Content
high
high
low
low
frank
fearful friendly
competent
Practical application – competent communicators think before they speak:
oFrank – think about how our relationship should govern and guide what is said
oFriendly – think about how my goals can be clearly and convincingly articulated
oThe best way is to focus on both content and relationship (conversational
multitasking)
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