Izz wouldzz thinkzz thatzz I'mzz azz veryzz indecisivezz person,zz sozz whenzz itzz comeszz
downzz tozz anzz importantzz decisionzz thatzz Izz havezz tozz make,zz Izz wouldzz
definitelyzz havezz tozz hearzz allzz thezz detailszz havingzz tozz dozz withzz bothzz sideszz
ofzz thezz decision.zz Izz likezz tozz bezz wellzz educatedzz inzz myzz decisionszz sozz
thatzz Izz knowzz exactlyzz whatzz I'mzz gettingzz myselfzz into.zz Whenzz makingzz azz
decisionzz Izz likezz tozz kindzz ofzz runzz downzz thezz proszz andzz conszz ofzz eachzz
optionzz fairlyzz quicklyzz aszz wellzz aszz lookingzz intozz thezz specificzz reasonablezz
outcomeszz tozz eachzz decisionzz made.zz Thezz biggestzz decisionzz Izz believezz I'vezz
hadzz tozz makezz sozz farzz iszz whenzz Izz decidedzz tozz movezz outzz ofzz myzz
parentszz house.zz Izz hadzz justzz finishedzz communityzz collegezz andzz waszz planningzz
tozz transferzz tozz azz fourzz yearzz collegezz howeverzz Izz tookzz azz yearzz offzz tozz
workzz sozz thatzz Izz couldzz savezz upzz somezz money.zz Evenzz thoughzz myzz parentszz
stillzz offeredzz forzz mezz tozz livezz atzz homezz rentzz freezz aszz usualzz Izz feltzz Izz
neededzz tozz movezz outzz tozz maturezz morezz andzz tozz startzz gainingzz somezz
experiencezz onzz myzz own.zz Lookingzz backzz fromzz azz financialzz standpoint,zz nozz
Izz don'tzz thinkzz Izz madezz thezz rightzz decisionzz becausezz Izz couldzz havezz beenzz
savingzz onzz azz lotzz ofzz billszz rightzz nowzz but,zz ultimatelyzz Izz believezz itzz waszz
worthzz itzz sozz thatzz Izz couldzz understandzz whatzz itzz iszz likezz tozz bezz independent.zz
Therezz waszz notzz tozz muchzz emotionzz inzz myzz decision,zz I'mzz notzz anzz emotionalzz
guy,zz howeverzz therezz definitelyzz waszz azz lotzz ofzz communicationzz betweenzz myzz
parentszz andzz Izz sozz thatzz wezz couldzz bothzz understandzz whatzz waszz goingzz onzz
whichzz reallyzz helpedzz uszz tozz allzz feelzz morezz comfortablezz withzz thezz decision.zz
Atzz thezz timezz I'mzz battlingzz movingzz withzz backzz withzz momzz andzz buyingzz
herzz housezz inzz thezz nextzz 6zz monthszz aszz shezz relocatezz tozz azz seniorzz livingzz
housingzz whichzz Izz wouldzz lovezz tozz keepzz myzz momzz housezz butzz Izz don'tzz
knowzz ifzz mezz andzz myzz familyzz wouldzz bezz comfortablezz livingzz withzz myzz
mom.zz Izz decidedzz notzz tozz movezz withzz herzz aboutzz 3zz monthszz agozz because,zz
Izz havezz beenzz livingzz onzz myzz ownzz 15zz yearszz withzz myzz spousezz andzz Izz
feelzz wezz arezz usezz tozz ourzz privacyzz andzz space.zz Izz definitelyzz feltzz thezz
decisionzz Izz madezz waszz reasonablezz atzz thezz timezz becausezz tozz mezz itzz wouldzz
bezz azz hardzz transitionzz thatzz Izz personallyzz wasn'tzz readyzz for.zz Emotionszz
definitelyzz playedzz azz partzz becausezz Izz keptzz feelingzz likezz Izz waszz toozz oldzz
tozz livezz withzz myzz momzz evenzz thoughzz itzz waszz goingzz onlyzz bezz temporaryzz
,zz alsozz Izz thoughtzz Izz couldzz justzz buyzz myzz ownzz housezz itzz waszz allzz typezz
ofzz feelingszz andzz thoughtszz atzz thezz time.zz Izz communicatedzz withzz everybodyzz
myzz momzz ,zz myzz spousezz ,zz andzz myzz sonzz whozz loveszz tozz bezz atzz myzz
momzz housezz ,zz andzz everybodyzz waszz forzz thezz movezz izz justzz wasn'tzz readyzz
atzz thezz timezz that'szz whatzz haszz mezz revisitingzz thezz opportunityzz atzz thiszz
presentzz time.zz Howeverzz Izz feelzz Ifzz Izz hadn'tzz letzz myzz emotionszz getzz thezz
bestzz ofzz mezz Izz probablyzz couldzz bezz azz smoothzz movezz andzz azz prosperzz
futurezz financiallyzz andzz Izz couldzz bezz soonzz tozz azz homeowner.zz Whenzz Izz
makezz importantzz decisionszz Izz willzz usuallyzz weighzz allzz ofzz thezz options.zz Izz
usezz emotionzz aszz azz finalzz stepzz tozz comingzz tozz somezz ofzz thezz mostzz
difficultzz decisionszz thatzz arezz prettyzz balancedzz withzz thezz proszz andzz cons.
Rightzz nowzz Izz amzz debatingzz whetherzz Izz shouldzz quitzz myzz currentzz jobzz andzz
startzz azz betterzz payingzz jobzz butzz Izz amzz notzz guaranteedzz tozz getzz thezz
position.zz Izz amzz makingzz enoughzz tozz supportzz myselfzz andzz havezz azz littlezz
extrazz moneyzz forzz thezz thingszz thatzz Izz mightzz want,zz butzz Izz amzz gettingzz
tiredzz ofzz howzz myzz storezz managerzz andzz thezz ownerzz wantzz thingszz tozz bezz
done.zz Therezz arezz almostzz nozz benefitszz withzz myzz job,zz andzz therezz arezz
plentyzz ofzz benefitszz withzz thezz other.zz Thezz thingzz thatzz iszz stayingzz myzz handzz
arezz thezz peoplezz thatzz Izz workzz with,zz Izz don'tzz wantzz tozz leavezz themzz behind.
Izz knowzz whatzz thezz bestzz solutionzz is,zz butzz thezz riskzz iszz veryzz high.zz Izz
havezz discussedzz thiszz withzz somezz friendszz andzz Izz havezz beenzz gettingzz somezz
answers,zz butzz thezz responsezz iszz reallyzz evenzz betweenzz them.zz Ifzz Izz removezz
emotionzz fromzz thezz equation,zz Izz amzz surezz thatzz Izz wouldzz havezz appliedzz
andzz startedzz atzz thezz otherzz jobzz byzz now.zz Forzz thezz mostzz part,zz whenzz
makingzz azz decision,zz Izz thinkzz logicallyzz aboutzz thezz situation.zz I'vezz onlyzz
beenzz influencedzz byzz emotionzz azz couplezz ofzz timeszz andzz thezz situationzz thatzz
stickszz outzz thezz mostzz waszz initiallyzz anzz emotionalzz decisionzz butzz itzz alsozz
madezz sensezz whenzz Izz laterzz reassessedzz thezz situationzz withoutzz emotionzz sozz
myzz decisionzz wouldzz notzz havezz changed.Growingzz up,zz Izz lovedzz spendingzz
timezz withzz myzz dadzz andzz didn'tzz noticezz negativezz thingszz aboutzz him.zz Hezz
remarriedzz whenzz Izz waszz 10zz yearszz oldzz andzz hiszz newzz wifezz waszz deceitful,zz
manipulative,zz andzz terriblezz tozz me.zz Izz rarelyzz sawzz myzz dadzz andzz whenzz Izz
did,zz hiszz wifezz didn'tzz letzz uszz havezz azz conversationzz alone.zz Shezz spentzz
mostzz ofzz herzz timezz gossipingzz andzz stirringzz upzz trouble.zz Lastzz year,zz shezz
toldzz myzz dadzz somethingzz untruezz aboutzz myzz wifezz andzz thenzz hezz proceededzz
tozz tellzz hiszz wholezz sidezz ofzz thezz family.zz Afterzz lettingzz myzz wifezz knowzz
whatzz waszz said,zz shezz waszz heartbroken.Shezz didn'tzz understandzz whyzz anyonezz
wouldzz makezz upzz suchzz azz thingzz outzz ofzz boredomzz (butzz Izz knewzz becausezz
Izz havezz beenzz dealingzz withzz itzz sincezz Izz waszz azz kid).zz Itzz tookzz myzz wifezz
monthszz tozz healzz fromzz thezz damagezz tozz herzz reputationzz thatzz myzz step-
motherzz hadzz causedzz andzz shezz onlyzz feltzz betterzz afterzz myzz step-motherzz
confessedzz itzz waszz azz fabricatedzz story.zz Myzz decisionzz waszz tozz cutzz offzz myzz
dadzz (whozz Izz realizedzz iszz equallyzz aszz deceitfulzz andzz manipulative)zz andzz hiszz
sidezz ofzz thezz family.zz Sincezz thatzz decisionzz lastzz January,zz Izz havezz feltzz azz
hugezz weightzz offzz ofzz myzz shoulders.zz Izz realizedzz thatzz Izz neededzz tozz shedzz
thezz toxicityzz andzz bezz aroundzz peoplezz whozz werezz mentallyzz healthyzz andzz
positive.zz Luckily,zz Izz havezz azz beautifulzz wife,zz twozz kids,zz myzz mom,zz andzz
myzz wife'szz sidezz ofzz thezz familyzz whozz arezz everythingzz tozz me.zz Onezz
examplezz thatzz Izz hadzz tozz makezz whilezz emotionzz waszz highzz waszz almostzz
threezz monthszz agozz beforezz myzz grandmotherzz passedzz away.zz Shezz hadzz beenzz
inzz thezz hospitalzz forzz 6zz dayszz beforezz thezz doctorszz foundzz outzz whatzz waszz
wrongzz withzz her.zz Comezz tozz findzz out,zz shezz waszz diagnosedzz withzz kidneyzz
cancerzz andzz didn’tzz havezz tozz muchzz longerzz tozz live.zz Theyzz gavezz herzz onezz
week.zz Aszz azz personzz whozz waszz practicallyzz raisedzz byzz thiszz beautifulzz womanzz
andzz spentzz allzz myzz lifezz withzz herzz andzz atzz thezz agezz ofzz 16zz beingzz herzz
primaryzz caretaker,zz therezz werezz somezz decisionszz thatzz Izz hadzz tozz makezz inzz
orderzz tozz preparezz forzz whatzz waszz soonzz tozz come.zz Thatzz Saturdayzz thezz
doctorszz camezz inzz andzz toldzz uszz whatzz waszz happening,zz butzz thatzz Sundayzz
hezz toldzz uszz thatzz therezz waszz nothingzz elsezz thatzz couldzz bezz done.zz Sozz Izz
hadzz tozz makezz thezz decisionszz onzz everythingzz thatzz neededzz tozz bezz donezz inzz
orderzz tozz bezz readyzz forzz whatzz waszz coming.zz Izz hadzz tozz makezz azz decisionzz
onzz thezz hospicezz tozz sendzz herzz to,zz Izz alsozz hadzz tozz makezz funeralzz
arrangements,zz andzz getzz allzz ofzz thezz familyzz togetherzz tozz letzz themzz knowzz
thatzz soonzz shezz wouldzz bezz passingzz andzz whatzz all
Izz feelzz thatzz eachzz decisionzz Izz madezz waszz reasonablezz andzz rightzz becausezz
Izz knowzz thatzz thiszz iszz whatzz myzz grandmotherzz wanted.zz Shezz didn’tzz wantzz
herzz familyzz tozz dozz anythingzz bigzz orzz extravagant.zz Shezz wantedzz tozz makezz
surezz thatzz everybodyzz waszz takenzz carezz of.zz Shezz alsozz didn’tzz wantzz herzz
lifezz tozz bezz extendedzz ifzz shezz waszz goingzz tozz sufferzz orzz bezz azz vegetablezz
andzz notzz bezz ablezz tozz stillzz dozz thingszz forzz herself.zz Communicationzz didzz
playzz azz bigzz role.zz Myzz grandmotherzz andzz Izz hadzz alwayszz discussedzz thesezz
thingszz especiallyzz withinzz thezz lastzz fewzz monthszz beforezz shezz passed.zz Ifzz wezz
hadzz notzz donezz thatzz Izz wouldzz havezz probablyzz feltzz regretzz becausezz Izz wouldzz
havezz feltzz thatzz Izz missedzz sozz muchzz timezz withzz herzz andzz Izz alsozz wouldn’tzz
havezz knownzz whatzz tozz dozz inzz orderzz tozz getzz thingszz donezz andzz makezz
surezz everyonezz gotzz whatzz shezz wantedzz themzz tozz have.zz Anzz examplezz ofzz
whenzz emotionzz influencedzz myzz decision-makingzz wouldzz definitelyzz bezz inzz myzz
personalzz relationships.zz Izz waszz inzz azz pastzz relationshipzz thatzz waszz destructivezz
andzz unhealthy.zz Izz hadzz azz lotzz ofzz feelingszz aboutzz whatzz thezz relationshipzz
hadzz beenzz beforezz andzz whatzz itzz waszz now.zz Ultimately,zz Izz decidedzz tozz endzz
thiszz relationship.zz Izz thinkzz basedzz uponzz whatzz happenedzz withinzz thezz
relationshipzz onzz thezz otherzz person'szz side,zz thezz decisionzz Izz madezz waszz
reasonable.
Izz thinkzz thezz mainzz thingzz Izz consideredzz inzz myzz decisionzz waszz myzz emotions.zz
But,zz communicationzz playedzz azz rolezz aszz wellzz sincezz Izz waszz unablezz tozz
communicatezz effectivelyzz inzz orderzz tozz resolvezz thezz issueszz inzz thezz relationship.
Ifzz Izz hadzz removedzz emotionzz fromzz myzz decisionzz makingzz Izz thinkzz Izz wouldzz
havezz stayedzz inzz thezz relationshipzz insteadzz ofzz gettingzz outzz ofzz it.zz Izz thinkzz
thiszz becausezz everyonezz makeszz mistakes,zz sozz Izz wouldzz havezz probablyzz leanedzz
towardszz givingzz themzz anotherzz chance.zz However,zz Izz thinkzz thatzz inzz thiszz
casezz givingzz thiszz personzz anotherzz chancezz wouldzz havezz onlyzz givenzz themzz
anotherzz chancezz tozz dozz thezz samezz hurtfulzz thingszz again.zz Inzz caseszz ofzz
personalzz relationships,zz Izz thinkzz thatzz emotionzz playszz azz hugezz rolezz inzz
makingzz importantzz decisions.zz Myzz emotionszz helpedzz mezz tozz seezz allzz pointszz
ofzz viewzz tozz thezz situationzz andzz makezz azz decisionzz thatzz waszz bestzz forzz
me.zz Thiszz weekzz discussionzz waszz onzz emotionzz andzz decisionzz making,zz sozz
Izz decidedzz tozz getzz outzz ofzz thezz Armyzz basedzz onzz deploymentzz orzz family.zz
Izz choosezz myzz familyzz firstzz becausezz Izz didn'tzz wantzz myzz famiyzz tozz worryzz
anymorezz aboutzz myselfzz andzz myzz son.zz Inzz lifezz sometimeszz youzz havezz tozz
makezz decisionszz simplyzz becausezz yourzz lifezz dependszz onzz it.zz Izz lovezz andzz
adorezz myzz familyzz butzz Izz alsozz hadzz azz veryzz strongzz likezz forzz thezz Unitedzz
Stateszz Army.zz Inzz lifezz decisionszz havezz tozz bezz madezz forzz thezz bestzz orzz
bettermentzz ofzz one'szz future.zz Izz choosezz tozz bezz stablezz forzz myzz sonzz andzz
itzz waszz azz hardzz decisionzz mostlyzz becausezz ofzz thezz timezz Izz investedzz andzz
thezz manyzz dayszz thatzz Izz foughtzz tozz stayzz inzz thezz Unitedzz Stateszz Army,zz
myzz emotionszz havezz takenzz azz majorzz rolezz andzz sozz haszz communicationzz
throughzz thezz entirezz challenge.zz I'mzz gratefulzz thatzz Izz madezz thezz choicezz tozz
comezz homezz andzz tozz learnzz morezz aboutzz myzz selfzz andzz thezz culturezz ofzz
thezz military,zz Izz willzz alwayszz respectzz thezz militaryzz butzz Izz choosezz tozz bezz
educatedzz andzz grow.zz Therezz havezz beenzz situationszz throughoutzz myzz professionalzz
lifezz inzz whichzz I’vezz allowedzz emotionzz tozz influencezz myzz criticalzz thinking,zz
nozz doubt.zz Somezz ofzz thosezz decisionszz turnedzz outzz tozz bezz justzz fine,zz nozz
realzz “deal-breakers”zz ifzz youzz will.zz However,zz azz fewzz yearszz agozz twozz ofzz
myzz employeeszz werezz emotionallyzz chargedzz upzz overzz azz situationzz thatzz
occurredzz betweenzz them,zz leadingzz tozz fairlyzz aggressivezz behaviorzz inzz frontzz
ofzz azz high-profilezz customer.zz Onezz inzz particularzz tookzz thezz moralzz low-groundzz
inzz makingzz numerouszz unprofessionalzz commentszz inzz frontzz ofzz thiszz particularzz
customer,zz attemptingzz tozz damagezz thezz appearancezz ofzz ourzz organization.zz Aszz
azz manager,zz Izz neededzz tozz getzz inzz frontzz ofzz thezz situationzz ofzz course,zz
butzz myzz approachzz should’vezz beenzz calm,zz cool,zz andzz collected.zz zz Izz should’vezz
simplyzz excusedzz myselfzz fromzz thezz tourzz Izz waszz leading,zz andzz separatedzz
thezz disgruntledzz employees,zz allowingzz forzz azz cool-downzz period.zz zz Instead,zz
Izz immediatelyzz dismissedzz bothzz employeeszz fromzz thezz workplacezz withoutzz
digestingzz thezz wholezz situation.zz Nozz analyzing,zz nozz reflection.Izz waszz sozz
embarrassedzz inzz frontzz ofzz thiszz customerzz andzz inzz shockzz ofzz howzz
unprofessionalzz thesezz tenuredzz employeeszz werezz behaving.zz Thesezz particularzz
technicianszz werezz notzz onlyzz thezz mostzz seniorzz amongzz thezz otherzz 18zz inzz
thezz shop,zz butzz extremelyzz efficient,zz andzz usuallyzz exemplifiedzz azz greatzz
attitude.zz Izz should’vezz pulledzz bothzz employeeszz asidezz (afterzz separatingzz each)zz
andzz interviewedzz eachzz individuallyzz inzz orderzz tozz gainzz azz clearerzz understandingzz
ofzz thezz situation.zz zz Izz allowedzz emotionszz tozz completelyzz cloudzz myzz judgmentzz
andzz cripplezz myzz abilityzz tozz makezz azz soundzz decision.zz zz Thezz customerzz
waszz uncomfortable,zz andzz onezz ofzz thezz technicianszz nearlyzz resignedzz overzz thezz
situation.Inzz thezz end,zz nozz lastingzz damagezz ensued.zz Azz learningzz momentzz forzz
sure,zz andzz azz greatzz opportunityzz forzz growthzz afterzz somezz self-reflection.zz
Decisionzz makingzz iszz sometimeszz azz hardzz thingzz forzz mezz tozz do.zz Izz amzz
azz personzz thatzz overzz thinkszz thingszz andzz analyzezz andzz trieszz tozz seezz whatzz
arezz thezz proszz azz connszz ofzz thingszz beforezz makingzz myzz decision.zz Forzz
example,zz tryingzz tozz gozz backzz tozz schoolzz waszz azz veryzz hardzz decisionzz tozz
make.zz Izz hadzz lotszz ofzz fearzz butzz mostlyzz worriedzz thatzz Izz wouldzz notzz havezz
thezz timezz tozz dedicatezz tozz school.zz Fearzz andzz thezz worryzz ofzz dedicationzz Izz
hadzz tozz applyzz almostzz madezz mezz notzz comezz backzz tozz finishzz whatzz Izz
hadzz started.zz Izz personallyzz feelzz thatzz ifzz Izz hadzz letzz thosezz feelszz overzz
comezz myzz decisionzz making,Izz wouldzz notzz bezz herezz todayzz attendingzz class.zz
Ourzz emotionszz sometimeszz takezz overzz ourzz decisionzz making,zz dependingzz onzz
howzz wezz wantzz forzz itzz tozz gozz orzz ifzz wezz arezz wellingzz tozz overzz comezz
orzz emotionszz wezz willzz neverzz knowzz ifzz thezz decisionzz wezz madezz waszz thezz
correctzz one.zz Wheneverzz Izz havezz tozz makezz azz decisionzz Izz considerzz whatzz
thezz possiblezz outcomezz willzz bezz beforezz actuallyzz decidingzz onzz something.zz
I’mzz myzz personalzz lifezz Izz amzz azz youngzz firstzz timezz momzz sozz azz lotzz ofzz
thezz decisionszz Izz makezz forzz myselfzz andzz myzz daughterzz arezz normallyzz alwayszz
drivenzz myzz emotions.zz Thezz biggestzz decisionzz I’vezz hadzz tozz makezz recentlyzz
iszz azz changezz inzz myzz career.zz Izz havezz tozz travelzz forzz workzz azz lotzz andzz
itzz sometimeszz causeszz mezz tozz bezz awayzz forzz thezz holidays.zz Myzz emotionszz
playedzz azz bigzz rolezz inzz mezz choosingzz tozz stopzz workingzz inzz thezz unionzz
atzz nuclearzz plantzz szz forzz azz whilezz becausezz Izz waszz havingzz detachmentzz
issues.zz Ultimatelyzz Izz amzz takingzz azz tremendouszz payzz cutzz becausezz myzz
emotionszz won’tzz allowzz mezz tozz bezz awayzz fromzz myzz daughterzz forzz azz
monthzz orzz longerzz atzz azz time.zz Izz communicatedzz thesezz emotionszz tozz myzz
familyzz thatzz helpzz lookzz afterzz myzz daughterzz andzz theirzz responsezz waszz
completelyzz differentzz fromzz whatzz initiallyzz decidedzz tozz do.zz Izz thinkzz Izz hadzz
removezz dozz emotionzz fromzz myzz decisionzz makingzz Izz wouldzz havezz madezz
thezz samezz decision.zz Nozz jobzz norzz amountzz ofzz moneyzz worthzz missingzz outzz
onzz thezz preciouszz momentszz withzz family.zz Izz didzz havezz tozz dozz somezz criticalzz
thinkingzz withzz thiszz decisionzz becausezz therezz waszz azz lotzz thatzz hadzz tozz bezz
takenzz intozz considerationzz beforezz makingzz myzz finalzz decision.zz Izz dozz feelzz
aszz thoughzz myzz decisionzz waszz azz reasonablezz one.zz Inzz thiszz instancezz Izz
don’tzz thinkzz thatzz myzz emotionszz causedzz mezz tozz notzz thinkzz logicallyzz orzz
hadzz azz negativezz affectzz onzz myzz decision.zz Izz feelzz aszz ifzz thiszz wholezz yearzz
waszz fullzz ofzz emotionalzz decisions.zz Somezz workedzz outzz reallyzz well,zz andzz
otherszz couldzz havezz hadzz azz betterzz resultzz ifzz emotionzz waszz notzz inzz thezz
decision.zz Azz decisionzz Izz havezz madezz withzz emotionzz aszz thezz frontzz guyzz onzz
thezz linezz waszz movingzz backzz tozz wherezz Izz waszz from,zz Wisconsin,zz fromzz
Arizona.zz Afterzz threezz years,zz Izz foundzz myselfzz becomingzz veryzz homesickzz
andzz upsetzz thatzz Izz waszz missingzz outzz onzz everythingzz thatzz waszz happeningzz
backzz home,zz butzz whilezz stillzz inzz Arizona,zz Izz waszz enjoyingzz life,zz workingzz
azz greatzz job,zz makingzz goodzz money,zz playingzz softball,zz traveling,zz hiking,zz
doingzz sozz muchzz morezz thanzz Izz couldzz dozz ifzz Izz waszz stillzz inzz Wisconsin.
Izz startedzz fallingzz intozz thezz thoughtzz ofzz "Izz needzz tozz movezz backzz home"zz
ratherzz thanzz thinkingzz whatzz Izz couldzz dozz tozz compromisezz withzz thezz feelingzz
ofzz homesickzz andzz enjoyingzz thezz lifezz Izz hadzz inzz Arizona.zz Soonzz Izz foundzz
myselfzz flyingzz backzz homezz everyzz otherzz weekzz andzz Izz quicklyzz andzz
irrationallyzz decidedzz tozz movezz backzz home.zz Emotionzz playedzz aszz bothzz feetzz
onzz thezz gaszz pedal,zz Izz don'tzz believezz thezz decisionzz Izz madezz waszz
irresponsible,zz butzz Izz didzz notzz dozz azz wholezz lotzz ofzz thinkingzz aszz tozz whatzz
Izz couldzz possiblyzz tryzz insteadzz ofzz makingzz thezz fullzz leapzz back.zz Izz believezz
ifzz Izz wouldzz havezz communicatedzz withzz thezz peoplezz aroundzz mezz andzz myzz
family,zz andzz actuallyzz tookzz inzz whatzz theyzz saidzz ratherzz thanzz practicedzz
closedzz mindedzz thinking,zz Izz wouldzz stillzz bezz inzz Arizona,zz visitingzz them,zz
andzz thezz familyzz visitingzz me.zz Itzz iszz notzz somethingzz Izz regretzz byzz anyzz
meanszz becausezz Izz havezz myzz ownzz familyzz ofzz myzz fiancézz andzz I,zz andzz
ourzz newzz additionzz joiningzz uszz aroundzz Christmas,zz butzz Izz dozz wonderzz wherezz
Izz wouldzz bezz ifzz Izz didzz endzz upzz stayingzz downzz there.zz Maybezz somedayzz
wezz canzz startzz ourzz bookzz aszz azz familyzz downzz there.zz Thiszz iszz azz recentzz
situationzz thatzz comeszz tozz mind.zz Myzz wholezz lifezz Izz havezz beenzz azz caregiverzz
tozz someone,zz fromzz myzz littlezz sister,zz myzz children,zz myzz parentszz andzz nowzz
myzz uncle.zz Izz alsozz workzz inzz thezz medicalzz fieldzz withzz thezz geriatriczz
population.zz Whenzz itzz comeszz tozz carezz givingzz it’szz importantzz tozz makezz goodzz
decisions.zz Izz dozz myzz bestzz tozz alwayszz dozz what’szz bestzz forzz thezz patient.zz
Izz expectzz thezz samezz whenzz myzz familyzz iszz thezz patientzz aszz well.zz Recentlyzz
unclezz hadzz symptomszz ofzz azz UTI.zz Izz hadzz himzz seezz thezz doctor.zz Shezz hadzz
thezz labzz tozz checkzz hiszz urinezz hadzz didzz azz urinezz culture,zz whichzz resultedzz
positive.zz Shezz startedzz himzz onzz anzz antibiotic.zz Izz gavezz itzz tozz himzz aszz
instructed.zz Afterzz azz fewzz dayszz hezz becamezz veryzz hyper,zz agitatedzz andzz
wasn’tzz sleeping.zz Izz followedzz upzz withzz thezz providerzz whozz instructedzz mezz
tozz continuezz thezz antibiotic,zz hezz waszz experiencingzz adversezz effectszz fromzz thezz
antibioticzz andzz shezz assuredzz mezz thatzz itzz waszz normal.zz Byzz thezz nextzz
morningzz myzz unclezz couldzz notzz dresszz himself,zz veryzz confusedzz andzz seeingzz
things.zz Thatzz changezz camezz overzz night.zz Izz hadzz tozz makezz anzz importantzz
decisionzz atzz thatzz moment.zz Myzz emotionzz waszz tozz dozz whatzz waszz bestzz forzz
him,zz regardlesszz whatzz thezz providerzz recommend.zz Izz calledzz 911zz andzz hadzz
himzz takenzz tozz thezz hospital.zz Wherezz hezz spentzz thezz nextzz 7zz weekszz duezz
tozz beingzz almostzz styptic.zz Thenzz followedzz rehabzz forzz 3zz weeks,zz (comeszz
homezz tomorrow)zz zz Izz havezz seenzz alotzz ofzz UTIs,zz butzz neverzz onezz thatzz
changedzz someonezz fromzz beingzz independentzz tozz totalzz carezz overzz night.zz Izz
workzz inzz thezz samezz officezz withzz thezz Dr.zz Shezz haszz spentzz mostzz ofzz thezz
lastzz 10zz weekszz givingzz mezz thezz silentzz treatment.zz So,zz Izz hadzz azz decisionzz
tozz make,zz whatzz iszz bestzz forzz myzz unclezz orzz what'szz morezz comfortablezz forzz
me.zz Izz chosezz myzz uncle'szz wellzz being.zz Izz havezz filedzz azz grievancezz andzz
shezz willzz nozz longerzz hiszz Dr.zz Withinzz azz fewzz dayszz ofzz arrivingzz atzz rehab,zz
hezz sufferedzz fromzz edemazz inzz hiszz feetzz andzz legs.zz Izz inquiredzz aboutzz hiszz
carezz orzz shouldzz Izz sayzz lackzz thereof.zz Izz communicatedzz withzz thezz nursezz
andzz thezz CNAzz tozz startzz with.zz Izz wouldzz gozz everyzz day,zz andzz theyzz wouldzz
sayzz he’szz goingzz tozz seezz thezz Dr,zz butzz nozz Drzz everzz calledzz me.zz Afterzz
thezz firstzz weekzz andzz azz halfzz ofzz excuseszz aszz tozz whyzz hiszz feetzz waszz
stillzz swollen,zz Izz tookzz azz differentzz route.zz Izz startedzz askingzz otherzz questionszz
tozz seezz whatzz waszz inzz hiszz chart.zz Izz findzz thatzz hezz haszz notzz beenzz seenzz
byzz azz Drzz orzz azz nurse.zz Izz havezz communicatedzz tozz thezz nursingzz staffzz
sincezz thezz beginning,zz butzz nozz onezz iszz followingzz up.zz Izz returnedzz tozz thezz
facilityzz afterzz thezz nightzz nursezz camezz in.zz Izz inquiredzz againzz aboutzz azz Drzz
comingzz tozz lookzz atzz him.zz Shezz saidzz thezz Drzz wasn’tzz coming.zz Izz thenzz
demandedzz thatzz shezz callzz thezz on-callzz providerzz andzz getzz himzz overzz here.zz
Thezz nursezz sawzz Izz waszz upset,zz shezz startedzz lookingzz inzz hiszz chartzz tozz
seezz whatzz shezz couldzz tellzz me.zz Shezz couldzz notzz findzz anythingzz tozz tellzz
me.zz Shezz thenzz calledzz thezz Dr,zz hezz orderedzz labszz andzz anzz ultrasound.zz Shezz
camezz tozz backzz tozz hiszz roomzz tozz informzz mezz ofzz thezz plan.zz 10zz minszz
laterzz thezz Drzz waszz inzz thezz room.zz Apologizingzz forzz thezz factzz hezz hadzz
notzz beenzz seen.zz Afterzz thezz resultszz camezz in,zz theyzz werezz allzz good.zz
Nothingzz waszz donezz aboutzz thezz swellingzz itselfzz tillzz thiszz week,zz afterzz Izz
hadzz tozz meetzz withzz thezz administratorzz andzz thezz directingzz ofzz nursingzz andzz
filedzz azz grievance.zz It’szz amazingzz howzz fastzz thingszz changed.zz zz Thiszz waszz
azz uniquezz situation,zz myzz emotionszz wherezz allzz overzz it.zz Therezz werezz azz
lotzz ofzz decisionszz thatzz Izz made.zz Izz dozz feelzz thatzz despitezz myzz emotionszz
myzz decisionszz wherezz reasonablezz ones.zz Myzz emotionszz playedzz azz rolezz inzz
myzz tonezz duringzz thiszz chainzz ofzz events.zz Emotionallyzz itszz beenzz azz nightmare.zz
Communicationzz playedzz azz hugezz role.zz Communicatingzz whatzz waszz andzz wasn’tzz
happeningzz withzz hiszz care.zz Ifzz Izz hadzz removedzz emotionzz fromzz thiszz situation,zz
thezz outcomezz wouldzz havezz beenzz almostzz thezz same.zz Izz justzz wouldzz notzz
havezz beenzz emotionallyzz attached.zz Therezz arezz severalzz differentzz levelszz tozz
decision-makingzz inzz myzz opinion.zz Myzz decisionzz makingzz willzz alwayszz havezz
azz lotzz tozz dozz withzz thezz situationzz inzz frontzz ofzz me,zz thezz peoplezz thatzz
mayzz bezz involved,zz thezz severityzz ofzz thezz situationzz andzz whomzz itzz canzz
effectzz bezz itzz badzz orzz good.zz Myzz examplezz ofzz azz situationzz wherezz emotionzz
influencedzz myzz decision-makingzz wouldzz be,zz whenzz yearszz agozz Izz hadzz tozz
decidezz ifzz Izz wouldzz remainzz friendszz withzz azz personzz thatzz Izz andzz otherszz
feltzz thatzz theyzz werezz toxiczz andzz theyzz werezz notzz growingzz thatzz Izz hadzz
knownzz sincezz agezz 15.zz Wezz werezz bothzz inzz ourzz 30'szz atzz thiszz point.zz Izz
decidedzz tozz endzz thezz friendship.zz Izz dozz feelzz myzz decisionzz waszz reasonablezz
basedzz onzz thezz historyzz andzz lackzz ofzz respectzz andzz badzz energyzz thatzz waszz
comingzz fromzz it.zz Emotionzz playedzz azz veryzz highzz andzz importantzz rolezz inzz
thiszz decisionzz becausezz wezz bothzz hadzz childrenzz thatzz hadzz knownzz eachzz otherzz
allzz therezz liveszz andzz ourzz familieszz werezz closezz aszz well.zz Communicationzz
definitelyzz playedzz azz rolezz inzz thiszz situationzz becausezz Izz feltzz aszz thoughzz
communicationzz waszz notzz therezz andzz itzz neverzz wouldzz be.zz Somezz peoplezz
neverzz learnzz thiszz andzz Izz andzz otherzz friendszz triedzz forzz yearszz withzz nozz
change.Ifzz Izz hadzz removedzz emotionzz fromzz makingzz thiszz decisionzz atzz thatzz
point,zz therezz stillzz wouldzz havezz beenzz nozz communicationzz andzz nozz reasoningzz
tozz remainzz inzz thatzz friendshipzz andzz Izz thinkzz Izz stillzz wouldzz havezz comezz
tozz thatzz conclusionzz basedzz onzz allzz otherzz factorszz thatzz werezz presentzz andzz
withzz outzz thezz emotions,zz Itzz wouldzz havezz happenedzz earlier,zz mostzz likelyzz
byzz thezz agezz ofzz 22.zz Whenzz facingzz thezz opportunityzz tozz takezz importantzz
decisions,zz Izz dependzz azz lotzz onzz myzz familyzz Izz havezz grownzz inzz azz veryzz
closezz familyzz andzz wezz helpzz eachzz otherzz atzz thezz timezz ofzz makingzz decisionszz
byzz beingzz supportivezz morezz thanzz tryingzz tozz imposezz ourzz ownzz opinions,zz
aboutzz azz monthzz agozz myzz four-month-oldzz niecezz hadzz heartzz surgeryzz aboutzz
8zz hourszz awayzz fromzz wherezz Izz live.zz Thezz firstzz reactionzz waszz tozz bezz
therezz withzz thezz familyzz forzz thezz surgery.zz Izz wentzz aheadzz andzz plannedzz atzz
firstzz reactionzz leavezz thezz kidszz withzz inlawszz inzz orderzz tozz bezz ablezz tozz bezz
therezz personallyzz forzz thezz surgeryzz supportingzz duringzz thesezz toughzz times.zz Izz
wantedzz tozz bezz therezz emotionallyzz speakingzz aszz thezz timezz ofzz thezz surgeryzz
waszz approachingzz communicationzz withzz myzz wifezz playzz azz significantzz rolezz
causezz wezz decidedzz itzz waszz betterzz andzz thatzz wezz werezz goingzz tozz helpzz
myzz sisterzz morezz ifzz myzz wifezz wouldzz gozz insteadzz ofzz mezz going,zz Izz admitzz
thatzz atzz firstzz itzz waszz toughzz forzz mezz tozz acceptzz butzz thinkingzz itzz throughzz
itzz waszz thezz bestzz decisionzz forzz allzz ofzz us.zz Izz thinkzz thatzz emotionzz iszz
alwayszz anzz influencezz inzz ourzz decisionszz andzz manyzz ofzz thezz choiceszz wezz
makezz arezz drivenzz byzz ourzz gutzz instinct.zz Aszz thezz oldzz sayingzz goes,zz
followingzz yourzz gutzz willzz neverzz leadzz youzz wrong.zz Izz alwayszz trustzz myzz
gutzz tozz guidezz myzz decisions,zz ifzz Izz don'tzz feelzz rightzz aboutzz something,zz Izz
won'tzz dozz it.zz Izz amzz raisingzz myzz childrenzz tozz dozz thezz same,zz tozz followzz
theirzz gutzz instinctszz butzz alsozz usezz commonzz sensezz andzz criticalzz thinkingzz
skillszz whenzz makingzz decisions.zz Wezz havezz movedzz houseszz azz fewzz timeszz
inzz thezz lastzz fewzz yearszz andzz I'vezz hadzz tozz makezz bigzz choiceszz aboutzz
whetherzz tozz havezz myzz sons'zz changezz schoolszz orzz stayzz atzz thezz schoolzz
they'vezz beenzz atzz sincezz kindergarten.zz Ultimately,zz Izz wentzz withzz myzz initialzz
decisionzz ofzz keepingzz themzz atzz thezz schoolzz theyzz arezz comfortablezz with.zz
Thiszz decisionzz waszz largelyzz influencedzz byzz emotion,zz becausezz Izz knewzz myzz
sonszz didn'tzz wantzz tozz changezz schoolszz andzz evenzz thoughzz itzz wouldzz havezz
beenzz easier,zz Izz chosezz tozz allowzz themzz tozz stayzz there.zz Myzz approachzz tozz
decisionzz makingzz iszz dependentzz onzz thezz situation.zz Izz amzz morezz likelyzz tozz
makezz azz decisionzz withzz emotionzz whenzz itzz comeszz tozz personalzz issues.zz
Recently,zz Izz hadzz tozz decidezz whetherzz tozz returnzz tozz collegezz andzz getzz myzz
bachelor’szz degreezz orzz bezz contentzz withzz anzz associate’szz degree.zz Inzz azz
conversationzz withzz azz coworker,zz shezz questionedzz howzz Izz receivedzz myzz
promotionzz withoutzz azz bachelor’szz degree.zz Izz foundzz myselfzz defendingzz myzz
experiencezz andzz myzz accomplishmentzz ofzz anzz associate’szz degree.zz Thiszz situationzz
frustratedzz mezz andzz madezz mezz feelzz myzz qualificationszz werezz insignificant.zz Izz
decidedzz Izz hadzz tozz registerzz forzz schoolzz andzz getzz thezz degree.zz Izz spokezz
tozz myzz husbandzz aboutzz myzz frustrationzz andzz thezz enormouszz amountzz timezz
andzz commitmentzz itzz wouldzz takezz tozz accomplishzz myzz bachelor’szz degree.zz
Hezz waszz supportivezz butzz questionedzz myzz motive.zz Hezz helpedzz mezz realize,zz
Izz neededzz tozz setzz myzz goalzz becausezz itzz waszz whatzz Izz wantedzz andzz notzz
tozz provezz tozz anyonezz Izz waszz worthy.zz I