Ryan Hunt
2-2 Journal: Counseling Behaviors and the Attitudes Behind Them
It has been said empathy is the foundation of all therapeutic approaches (Corey, 2020).
The definition of empathy is to understand the client with the client. Empathy is not to express
remorse or regret for a client’s predicament but to feel what the client is feeling and
understanding or relating one’s own experiences to your client. Empathy is very important when
it comes to counseling because it shows the client that not only are you there to help them but
also to understand them from their own perspective. This will give your client a comforting feel
as they feel they are not alone in their own experiences and feelings. When your client feels
comfortable and open with you, they are more likely to attend their sessions with you and to
reveal about more experiences than they would if they were to feel judged by you as their
counselor. Empathy provides your client with a greater understanding of themselves and you. A
good comparison of expressing empathy is to ‘hold space’ for someone. I have come across this
phrase so frequently in my personal life while I was in treatment, and it meant everything to me.
Holding space for someone means to be physically, emotionally, and mentally present for
someone (Kahn, 2021). To me this is the same as expressing sympathy for your client.
OARS stands for openness, affirming, reflective listening and summarizing.
Openness in your posture and demeanor is important when it comes to a counseling
session. It’s a way to show your client that you are on their level, they are safe with you
in a comforting space. Having a ‘stiff’ posture makes the environment feel very serious
and very professional and while you do need to be professional with your client them
having a sense of equality with you will allow them to be themselves.
Affirming is being able to see your clients’ strengths and hear their feelings while being
able to positively encourage your client. Affirming your clients’ feelings is a great way to
show them that they are valid, their feelings are valid and the experiences they have been
through are true to them and important to their recovery. Once you understand your
clients’ strengths you will be able to begin making a treatment plan. Affirming the patient
on their strengths and their ability to use their coping skills to reach their goals then
healing can begin in an encouraging way.
Reflective Listening is a building block of every therapeutic approach. Practicing
reflective listening is being engaged with the client when they are speaking and being
able to repeat their important points back to them to show that you are listening and
understanding what they are saying. This shows a level of respect and comfort to your
client and as with the above approaches it gives a great deal of comfort to your client.
Summarizing goes along with reflective listening. You want to listen as closely as
possible, even reading between the lines to understand your client. Summarizing what the
client has communicated to you in your own words not only shows your ability to
listening effectively but to also show them in your own words what your understanding
was. Being able to summarize back to the client can also give them a better understanding
of your approach as well as their own experiences and feelings. They are then able to
look at themselves from your point of view.
When it comes to your own beliefs and biases no matter who you are everyone has them. Your
client may come into treatment with a bias outlook as though you are going to judge them or
speak down to them. They may think that because you are their counselor focusing on their life
and problems you may follow stereotypes as well as the stigma that comes with the perception
many people have of addiction and mental health. It is important as the counselor to put your
own personal beliefs aside when you are working with someone who has addiction problems. In
my own life I lost my father to a heroin overdose. Because of this my entire life I have avoided
drugs and alcohol knowing that addiction runs in my family and knowing I do not want that life
for myself and my children. I know all too well the pain, trauma and disappointment that comes
with being raised by and loving an addict. As a mom of three I don’t understand how a parent
could choose the life of addiction all while understanding addiction is a disease and it is not a
choice. It would be hard for me to hear about the trauma and addict has put their family or
children through, but that cannot be a bias that I take with them. Putting those personal feelings
aside will make me a better counselor and help me to better understand the life of an addict, one
who may also have children like I do.
In my personal life I am also known to be very liberal about many things. I believe every
person is created equal and should be treated that way and there are many people who do not feel
that way. I have met drug addicts who themselves who judge other drug addicts and believe
addiction is not a disease. Many of whom are in denial that they have a problem with addiction.
It would be really hard for me to be understanding if someone were to come into my safe space
for both the client and I and help counsel a client that has a judgmental point of view.
References
Kahn, J. (2021). What ‘Holding Space’ Means + 5 Tips to Practice — The Gender & Sexuality
Therapy Center. Retrieved 8 October 2021, from
https://gstherapycenter.com/blog/2020/1/16/what-holding-space-means-5-tips-to-practice
Corey, G. (2020).6Theory and practice of counseling and psychotherapy6(10th ed., pp. 163-
195). Boston, MA: Cengage.
