Dealing with a lot of family issues lately. My parents live together in
an apartment with my adult sister. There is a lot of stress in the
household, and it has put a lot of strain on everyone’s relationships
with each other. My father got hurt at work about three years ago
and ultimately received a settlement from a legal fight with the
company he worked for, he doesn’t work. My mother is unemployed
but is the primary caretaker of one of my adult brothers who is
partially paralyzed from drug use. My sister that lives with my parents
does not work and is often stirring the pot of issues between my
parents. Recently, my father has reached out to me and my partner
about renting our basement. We have a split level and currently,
nobody uses the living space downstairs aside from the woodstove.
Naturally, we decided this could work if we could separate the two
living spaces (I need a separate main living space from my parents to
maintain my own sanity). We’ve scheduled multiple meeting times to
discuss how to go about this transition, yet my parents have cancelled
every single time. I’ve assumed that maybe they’ve changed their
minds, but recently my mom told me that my father and sister were
packing for the move and leaving her out of the loop. It appears my
father is refusing to come up and talk to us, with my mother, about
this potential transition.
A couple of days ago, my mother reached out to me about how
stressed out she is about possibly moving. She is typically a person
who doesn’t approach anybody about her feelings, so I treaded
carefully, asking her about what was causing her the most stress
about it. She informed me that she was scared about the drive. Since
she helps my brother almost daily, she would have to travel from my
house to Manchester almost daily, which is about a 30–40-minute
drive, one way. I acknowledged her feelings and expressed that I
understood why she would be nervous, especially with the upcoming
winter months. She seemed to feel as if I validated her concerns and
continued to chat with me about what was worrying her about a
possible move up to my place.
Our textbook outlines five different stages in the helping process.
These are preparation, arrival of the client, exploring the problem,
intervention strategies, and ending client services. (Woodside &
McClam, 2018) I had several conversations with my mother about
moving in prior to this one conversation, so I feel as though I had
ample time to prepare for it. When she decided to approach me with
her anxiety, this told me she was willing to talk about it. Knowing my
mother and how defensive she can get and how quickly she can shut
down, I was careful in choosing my words and tone. This helped her
feel comfortable enough to continue sharing with me. We
brainstormed some ideas together about how to go about this
transition and though we haven’t made a complete break through
things have settled for the time being until her and my father come up
to talk.
References:
Woodside, M. R., & McClam, T. (2018).
An Introduction to Human
Services
(9th ed.). Cengage Learning US.
https://mbsdirect.vitalsource.com/books/9781337671262
