Pre-Engagement Counseling Plan: Development Assignment
Tosin Adebayo
PACO 603-D02: Premarital and Marital Counseling
Date of Report: November 1, 2025
Date of Interview: October 30, 2025
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Introduction
This report outlines a pre-engagement counseling approach for a straight couple dating who
want to grow their relationship using Christian guidance. They chose to join on their own from a
local church in Dallas Texas, where both regularly serve in ministry efforts while striving to
follow God’s direction together.
Source of and Reason for Referral
The couple got connected to counseling by the church's young adult program after they said
they wanted to check on their relationship while seeking God's direction for what’s ahead. Since
they were thinking about getting engaged, the ministry leader stepped in so they could get solid
support early. This step gives them space to dig into key relationship topics, see if they’re truly
ready to take that leap, while keeping things grounded in scripture.
Couple Demographic Information
The couple includes Michael, a 28-year-old Black man who works in IT, alongside Sarah, a
26year-old Latina woman doing her job as a nurse. Neither has been married before, each being
single all this time. Both are first children from their parents and both parents are alive plus
brothers and sisters who stay close. Their relationship’s been going for two-and-a-half years
now. They both follow Christianity deeply, show up at the same church, take part in religious
duties; however, Michael grew up Baptist while Sarah did not, she came from Pentecostal roots
instead.
Background Information
Michael lives alone and Sarah has got her own place too, but they hang out all the time
together.
When it comes to people close to them, both say things are solid with family and friends. No
record of Michael messing around with drugs or alcohol. As for Sarah, nothing shows up on
medical or legal fronts worth mentioning. Kids aren’t part of their picture right now. Schoolwise,
Michael finished college with a degree in computer science, Sarah came out of school certified
in nursing. Each handles work steadily, manages money well, no issues there. Their relationship
is built on respect, trust and open communication.
Behavioral Observations During the Interview
The couple showed up right on schedule for the interview, wearing clean-cut casual business
clothes, both looking put together. Each kept steady eye contact while speaking plainly, also
showing clear interest during the whole meeting. They seemed highly motivated, plus truly
curious about working through topics tied to their life ahead together. Every question was
answered honestly, though with no hints of nervousness or resistance. They showed focus
along with thoughtful responses, particularly while talking about belief, family habits, and
money decisions. A connection formed quickly, and each person still opened about delicate
issues in a clear and genuine way.
Issues
1. Faith-Related Issues
Focusing on how one person's beliefs shape the way both partners experience spirituality
together. This topic came up to match up on faith, habits, and what matters most, studies show
that it helps keep relationships steady (Mahoney, Pargament, & Tarakeshwar, 2001).
Addressing the Issue: Counseling talks will cover prayer routines, church visits, along with
beliefs that don’t match up. They’ll be nudged to do faith-based activities together, serving at
church, for example - to help grow a shared spiritual path.
Biblical Principles: 2 Corinthians 6:14 points to matching beliefs - “Do not be unequally yoked
with unbelievers.” Meanwhile, Philippians 1:9–11 along with Ephesians 1:8b–10 helps think
deeper about care, insight, and judgment when shaping a bond that fits God’s plan.
2. Sexual Purity and Boundaries
Focusing on setting clear limits around sex, based on what the Bible says, also sticking to them
once they’re set. Sexual match plus sticking to Bible rules about purity often predict how happy
couples are, plus how strong their relationship stays over time (Markman, Stanley, & Blumberg,
2010).
Addressing the Issue: The counselor leads organized talks about sex roles, risks tied to living
together, along with building check-in routines. Partners come up with their own agreement on
physical limits.
Biblical Principles: 1 Thessalonians 4:3 talks about living a holy life - staying away from sexual
sin. Instead of just rules, counseling builds a heart desire to honor God, which deepens
closeness and reliability in relationships.
3. Family of Origin Issues
Looking at how family habits and what parents do can shape how relationships work later on.
Folks tend to carry old family habits into marriage, how they talk, handle fights, or what they
expect often comes from their childhood home (Whitton, Stanley, & Markman, 2007).
Addressing the Issue: A genogram activity helps spot family setups, ways of raising kids, plus
what habits to keep or skip. The talk will center around setting clear limits - gaining personal
freedom without disrespecting mom and dad.
Biblical Principles: Exodus 20:12 says to respect your mom and dad; meanwhile, Genesis 2:24
talks about moving out to start a fresh life together as one unit.
4. Financial Management
Focusing on how we spend, stash away cash while sorting what matters most money-wise to
keep things steady together. How money habits match up strongly affects how happy couples
stay together and how long (Dew, 2008).
Addressing the Issue: Couples tackle money views by filling out a quick quiz, then sketch out a
trial budget together. Chat sessions cover debt handling, setting aside cash, along with smart
use of resources.
Biblical Principles: Proverbs 21:5 values careful preparation that leads to success; meanwhile, 1
Timothy 6:17–19 highlights using what you have wisely instead of hoarding it.
5. Roles and Expectations in Marriage
Figuring out who does what at home, who takes charge sometimes, while making choices
together as a team. Role uncertainty often links to marriage problems or unhappiness (Kurdek,
1999).
Addressing the Issue: Counseling talks will cover how chores are shared, which job matters
more, while also checking how home duties get handled. These chats bring up respect on both
sides, leading by serving each other, using teamwork tactics along the way.
Biblical Principles: Ephesians 5:21–33 shows how couples follow Christ by respecting each other
and staying under His direction when building a life together.
Implementation
Assessments: We'll use the Prepare/Enrich tool to spot how the relationship is doing, what's
working, what could get better, where things line up or don't. These insights shape how we
work together, pointing out what deserves extra focus during sessions.
Check-in: Counseling will happen once a week over six weeks. Every meeting mix reflection task,
take-home work, and quiet prayer moment. After three months, there is a review session to
check how relationships have grown while refreshing key points. If new issues pop up, a referral
to spiritual guidance or more sessions will be offered instead.
Termination: The counseling wraps up with one last meeting, all about thinking deeply and
getting clear. Couples will explore God’s timing, spend time in personal prayer as well as shared
prayer, while also reaching out to trusted spiritual mentors. This closing phase centers on
getting ready for possible commitment, plus building both spiritual depth and stronger
connection over time.
Conclusion
This pre-engagement counseling setup gives Michael and Sarah a clear, thoughtful path rooted
in Scripture to explore their relationship and seek God’s direction. Because faith matters, along
with purity, family background, money habits, and how they view marriage roles - these topics
build self-understanding, connection skills, and spiritual clarity. Through evaluations, guided
conversations, and check-ins, the couple prepares on purpose instead of rushing into
engagement. In the end, this journey strengthens their bond, honors God’s plan for marriage,
and guides them to choose their future with wisdom and purpose.
References
Dew, Jeffrey. (2008). Debt change and marital satisfaction change in recently married couples.
Family Relations, 57(1), 60–71. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1741-3729.2007.00483.x
Kurdek, L. A. (1999). Relationship outcomes and their predictors: Longitudinal analyses of
cohabiting and married couples. Journal of Family Psychology, 13(2), 231–244.
https://doi.org/10.1037/0893-3200.13.2.231
Mahoney, Annette, Kenneth Pargament, & Nimmi Tarakeshwar. (2001). Religion in the home in
the 1980s and 1990s: A meta-analytic review and conceptual analysis of links between religion,
marriage, and parenting. Journal of Family Psychology, 15(4), 559–596.
https://doi.org/10.1037/0893-3200.15.4.559
Markman, Howard, Scott Stanley, & Susan Blumberg. (2010). Fighting for your marriage. San
Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass.
Whitton, Sarah W., Scott Stanley, & Howard Markman. (2007). Working with a new paradigm:
Relational skills in premarital counseling. Family Relations, 56(1), 54–67.
https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1741-3729.2007.00437.x
Holy Bible, English Standard Version. (2016). Wheaton, IL: Crossway Bibles.
Olson, David J., Peter J. Larson, & David H. Olson. (2010). Prepare/Enrich Program: Building
Strong Marriages. Minneapolis, MN: Life Innovations.
