Discussion: Clarify and Execute the Action Plan
Rodrigo Ventura
PACO 500 (B02): Introduction to Pastoral Counseling
March 3, 2025
Rapport and Relational Alignment
As Brody and I transition into phase three, it remains imperative to sustain the rapport we
have cultivated. Leveraging Brody's strengths, which align with the "I" personality type, such as
his creative talents in music, his sociability, and his ability to influence others1, is essential.
Additionally, addressing his weaknesses is crucial. These include his frequent need for attention,
desire for admiration, lack of self-confidence in comparison to his older brother, and strong
reliance on close relationships for approval and acceptance.2
As a pastoral counselor with an "SC" personality type, I must continue to build rapport
through active listening. It is essential to avoid the pitfall of passive listening, which occurs when
the listener formulates a response while the speaker is still talking.3 While listening passively, I
would be only partially listening, leaving the counselee feeling unheard as if he has wasted his
effort in trying to express his thoughts.4 With active listening I will mirror or paraphrase back
what he has just said, thus confirming that he has been heard. This approach will give him the
opportunity to fully express himself and feel validated and accepted.5 As a team, our
personalities can complement each other while Brody contributes with his energy and creativity,
and I add my analysis, structure, and organization.
Phase Three Distinctive Features
Purpose
1 Mels Carbonell, How to Solve the People Puzzle: Understanding Personality Patterns (Blue Ridge, GA: Uniquely
You Resources, 2008), 119.
2 Ibid., 121.
3 Charles Allen Kollar, Solution-Focused Pastoral Counseling: An Effective Short-Term Approach for Getting
People Back on Track (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, Kindle Edition), p. 92.
4 Ibid.
5 Ibid.
Each session will begin with a prayer between both to ask the Holy Spirit for wisdom and
direction in the counseling session. I can ask Brody if he wants me to pray for something
specific, and when he feels ready, I will encourage him to pray at the end of the meetings.
As the counselor, I will adopt a supportive and engaging approach by providing positive
reinforcement to bolster Brody's self-confidence and create a nurturing environment. It is
essential to avoid passive listening by actively listening to Brody, mirroring and paraphrasing his
statements to ensure he feels heard and validated. Aligning the counseling approach with Brody's
need for social validation and personal attention is also crucial to his progress.
Goals
Brody's increased willingness to share his emotions and develop social interactions through
his musical talent and participation in the youth choir has been significant. He will continue to
participate in group activities to understand their importance and seek social validation through
these interactions. He also understands that he must acknowledge the emotional impact of the
accident and that he needs work on improving his relationship with his father. I have taught
Brody to use the Talker-Listener Card6, and he is willing to teach his family to use it so he can
learn how to communicate better with his father and reach the Level Two communication where
he can connect with him at a level of feeling and spirit.7 By taking active steps towards his goals
and following the counselor’s guidance, Brody will engage fully in sessions and apply the
strategies discussed, fostering a conducive environment for his growth and healing. By following
these goals we expect by both active participating in building hope and supporting progress.
Chief Aim and Role/responsibility
6 James C. Petersen, Why Don't We Listen Better?: Communicating & Connecting in Relationships, 3rd ed.
(Petersen Publications, 2015), 132, Kindle.
7 Ibid., 42.
The Chief Aim in this phase of counseling will be to help Brody strengthen emotionally, feel
accepted by others, and improve communication with his father and brother. By addressing the
emotional impact of the accident, nurturing closer relationships with his father and Josh, and
attending counseling sessions, Brody will create a conducive environment for his healing and
relational growth. Through the study of Scriptures and prayer, Brody will come to understand
that God may not rescue us from our suffering, but He promises to be with us every step of the
way. Although our struggles may not make sense to us now, we can trust in God's infinite
wisdom and kindness.8
Given that my DISC personality type is "SC" and Brody's type is "I", I will leverage my
patient and task-oriented nature9 to maintain rapport with Brody, focusing on his creative and
sociable strengths while addressing his need for attention and admiration.10 I will maintain active
listening practices, ensuring that he feels heard and validated. Additionally, I will provide
positive reinforcement and encourage his participation in group activities to bolster his self-
confidence and social validation. I will also teach effective communication techniques to help
him improve his interactions with family members. Addressing the emotional impact of the
accident and fostering closer relationships with his father and brother will remain critical aspects
of my responsibility. Consistently incorporating prayers in each session will further guide and
support Brody throughout his healing process.
The use of Guiding assumptions.
8 Ken Nichols, Masterpiece: Seeing Yourself as God's Work of Art Changes Everything (Lynchburg, VA: Liberty
University Press, 2017), 82.
9 Mels Carbonell, How to Solve the People Puzzle: Understanding Personality Patterns (Blue Ridge, GA: Uniquely
You Resources, 2008), 170.
10 Ibid., 25.
As we go towards Phase four, I will keep in mind that there are guiding assumptions that I
will need to keep in mind throughout my counseling approach apart from the three I considered
in Phase two. First, complex problems do not demand complex solutions.11 Brody seemed to
have a complex problem: grief, loss, the death of his mother and sister, lack of support from his
father, the need for forgiveness, and lack of self-confidence. However, this does not necessarily
require a complex solution. The problem does not need to be clearly defined for effective
counseling to take place; quite often, it cannot be. Rather, it is the solution that needs to be
clearly defined.12 It is essential to encourage Brody to stay focused on the solution he visualized
in the miracle question.
Secondly, finding exceptions helps create solutions. These exceptions are not always seen as
important by the counselee. As the counselor, it is my responsibility to bring meaning to them.
Focusing on these exceptions helps the counselee gain a new perspective while also drawing
upon the creative work of the Spirit as he continues the process of maturation.13
Resistance and Relapse
We as counselors need to follow the guiding principle that the counselee is the expert. This
means that we as counselors must be aware that one of the risks faced in counseling is
overestimating our own knowledge about people in general and the counselee specifically. We
walk a fine line between being knowledgeable about the process of counseling but not assuming
the role of expert.14 The latter may cause the counselee either to submit to or to resist the
counselor’s efforts and shift attention away from his own personal responsibility.15
11 Kollar, Solution-Focused Pastoral Counseling, 66.
12 Kollar, Solution-Focused Pastoral Counseling, 68.
13 Ibid., 69.
14 Kollar, Solution-Focused Pastoral Counseling, 72.
15 Ibid., 181.
To effectively support Brody, I will practice active listening to ensure he feels heard and
validated, mirroring, para-feeling, para-thinking his statements during our sessions. Identifying
any specific triggers that may have caused resistance or relapse will be crucial in understanding
the underlying issues and addressing them effectively. Based on these insights, I will adjust my
counseling techniques to better align with Brody's needs, perhaps revisiting previously
successful strategies or introducing new approaches.16 Additionally, incorporating prayer and
Scripture into our sessions will provide spiritual guidance and comfort, helping Brody to draw
strength from his faith. This general approach aims to foster a supportive and nurturing
environment for Brody's emotional and relational growth.
The Common Sense Test
The Common Sense Test can effectively address Brody's particular needs by guiding our
helping strategy through the following three tenets:
First, if it is not broken, don't fix it! For Brody, this means identifying and leveraging his
strengths, such as his musical talents and sociability. These aspects are not broken and should be
nurtured to build his self-confidence and social validation. Encouraging his participation in
group activities, like the youth choir, is a practical step that aligns with this tenet.
Secondly, once you know what works, do more of it! It is crucial to recognize the
successful strategies that have positively impacted Brody, such as effective communication
techniques and active listening. Continuously reinforcing these approaches will help Brody
improve his interactions with family members and address the emotional impact of the accident.
Additionally, continuing to incorporate prayer and Scripture will provide spiritual guidance and
comfort.
16 Ibid., 82.
Third, if it is not working, do something different! If there are any strategies or
techniques that are not returning the results that Brody and I are expecting, I must adjust the
counseling approach. For instance, if Brody experiences resistance or relapse, we should explore
alternative methods, like enhancing his communication skills or focusing on different aspects of
his strengths. By identifying triggers and making necessary adjustments, we can tailor the
counseling process to better suit Brody's evolving needs.
By applying the Common Sense Test, we can create a solution-based counseling strategy
that is practical, adaptable, and effective in addressing Brody's unique challenges and fostering
his growth and healing.
Phase Three Marker
Brody and I will be able to move to the next phase by understanding that his father cares
for him as much as his mother did and that he is willing to improve his relationship with his son.
Better communication is a sign of a relationship that is beginning to be restored. Together they
will be able to pass through this period of grieving comforting and supporting each other.
Food for Though
In the event blaming presents itself, I would suggest Brody the strategy of writing a letter
to the offender17 which sometimes it is helpful. I will also guide the counselee with one or more
of the following questions: “What incident or incidents are you having trouble forgiving?”,
“How did the incident(s) make you feel?”, “What can you tell me about the person who hurt
you?”, and “What have you already tried to do to help you forgive?”18 I will try to make Brody
understand that he is not the problem, but the problem is. This way he does not longer sees
17 Kollar, Solution-Focused Pastoral Counseling, 215.
18 Kollar, Solution-Focused Pastoral Counseling, 212.
Bibliography
Mels Carbonell “Uniquely You DISC Assessment.” Retrieved fromMhttps://uniquelyyou.org/
Mels Carbonell, M. (2008). How to solve the people puzzle: Understanding personality patterns.
Blue Ridge, GA: Uniquely You Resources, 2008.
Ken Nichols. Masterpiece: Seeing Yourself as God's Work of Art Changes Everything.
Lynchburg, VA: Liberty University Press, 2017.
James Petersen. Why Don't We Listen Better? Communicating and Connecting in Relationships.
2nd ed. Portland, OR: Petersen Publications, 2015.
Deborah Rice. A Case Study on Crossroads: A Story of Forgiveness. Lynchburg, VA: Liberty
University, 2018.
Tim Clinton and Ron Hawkins. The Quick-Reference Guide to Biblical Counseling. Grand
Rapids, MI: Baker Publishing Group, 2009. Kindle Edition.
Charles Allen Kollar. Solution-Focused Pastoral Counseling: An Effective Short-Term Approach
for Getting People Back on Track. Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2001. Kindle Edition.
