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Bethany,
I enjoyed your perspective in this discussion. Deployments and unaccompanied tours in a service members
career are difficult. I particularly liked your informative look at the struggles a family endures while their service
member is away. As a young Solider I had struggles with the return from my deployments. Unfortunately, a service
member who has been away from his or her family can become unaware of his or her emotions and lack control.
Having been on several deployments I personally struggled with this task. “Returning service members may feel that
they are no longer needed, as their nonmilitary spouses have managed home life well during their absence,” Bowling
& Sherman (2008).
Once I was away, I was at times unable to have any contact with my spouse. This would make the return
home after this time away the hardest part. “Another change that can be difficult to handle is going from the role of
combatant to peacetime service member,” (Friedman & Slone, 2008). I truly believe that not only the service
member but the family as well. My wife and I spoke about this, and her insight was the deployment was easy the
return was the hardest. She also said preparing is good, but you do not know what is coming.
References
Bowling, U. B., & Sherman, M. D. (2008). Welcoming them home: Supporting service members and their
families in navigating the tasks of reintegration. Professional Psychology: Research and Practice, 39(4), 451–458.
https://doi.org/10.1037/0735-7028.39.4.451
Freeman, S., Moore, B., & Freeman, A. (2009). Living and Surviving in Harm's Way: A psychological
treatment handbook for pre-and post- deployment of military personnel.
Slone, L., & Friedman, M. (2008). After the War Zone: A Practical Guide for Returning Troops and Their
Families (1st ed.). Da Capo Lifelong Books.
Undoubtably military service members and their families face numerous intricacies throughout their time
in the military. Frequent moves, inconsistent schedules, and the inability to take leave when they wish are just some
of the inconveniences faced by military personal and their families. Above all, deployment seems to instigate the
greatest set of difficulties for military families. Differing from what most civilians conjure in their minds when they
think of deployment, deployment does not solely mean leaving for a combat zone. Deployment indicates any
activity that necessitates a service member to depart from their assigned duty station for another specified location.
Humanitarian missions, three weeks on a ship and long absences to JRTC, NTC and other trainings all constitute as
deployments. While combat deployments certainly produce their own unique hardships, any deployment is sure to
induce stress for service members and their families (Hall, 2016). While the deployed service member might find
certain aspect of deployment more difficult than their family back home, deployment causes hardships for all family
members.
When a service member is deployed it is often easy to forget about the struggles that their family members
are undergoing too. From anecdotal evidence as well as from reading documented research, the greatest struggle
faced by the family of military service members seems to be the sudden change in family roles. For all intents and
purposes, the spouse left at home now functions as a single parent. Instead of two parents being around to assist with
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the household, all of the physical and emotional responsibilities falls on the spouse left behind. Missing the deployed
spouse and worrying about their safety only adds to the stress of being alone (Friedman & Slone, 2008).
It would be hard to overstate the stressors faced by a deployed service member. A combat deployment brings
its own unique afflictions not faced by those who are deployed to a non-combat zone; however, the lengthy
separation brings similar difficulties regardless of deployment type. Both from subjective stories and gathered
information, it appears that the overwhelming feeling of being left out of the lives of their families is a major
concern to all deployed service members. Feelings of warranted but unjustified resentment towards those that can be
around their family members, hold their newborn children, or assist their families with some needs are often a daily
struggle. These service members can feel like they are not needed by their families and that their family is
proceeding through life without them (Friedman & Slone, 2008)
Returning home from deployed brings its own unexpected difficulties. Integrating back to life together seems to
be the biggest struggle faces by both service members and their families. Family members can contend with a
change in their routine. They might struggle with adapting back to coparenting as well as different preferences
regarding household management. On the other hand, it might find it difficult for service members to transition back
into their familiar parenting role in a family who has grown accustomed to their absence. Additionally, service
members might find that adjusting back to “normal” life is challenging. Moreover, this difficulty is often even more
prominent in-service members who were deployed to a combat zone. Furthermore, service members might struggle
with everyday occurrences like large crowds and noise. Complications with sleep, anxiety, aggressiveness, and other
newfound symptoms only increase the service trouble members have when trying to acclimate to civilian life. All
family members are often left feeling dejected, as the high hopes they had for their post deployment life do not come
into fruition. The high expectations they had for one another are not met and as a result all members experience
disappointment (Freeman et al., 2009) .
It should be noted that the Bible can offer great hope and comfort to those grappling with the difficulty of
deployment. Regardless of the circumstances surrounding deployment, the Bible should be a constant reminder of
God’s love for His child. Specifically, verses like Isaiah 41:10, Psalm 147:3, Matthew 5:4, and Psalms 23:3 inform
readers that God will be by His children’s side throughout their trials and that He will prove them strength during
afflictions (MacArthur, 2021).
References
Freeman, S., Moore, B., & Freeman, A. (2009). Living and Surviving in Harm's Way: A psychological
treatment handbook for pre-and post- deployment of military personnel.
Routledge.
Friedman, M., & Slone, L. B. (2008). After the War Zone: A practical guide for returning troops
and their families. Perseus Books Group.
Hall, L. K. (2016) Counseling Military Families: What mental health professionals need to know. Routledge.
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MacArthur, J. (Ed.). (2021). ESV MacArthur study Bible. Thomas Nelson.
