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Dr. Speight,
I would define a calling as a purpose or passion to do something. In my case it is to help others
showing them that resilience is a way to deal with things more effectively. In looking at the
resilience life cycle.
Before:
Growing up I was quick to react to situations and had times where I was unable to express
myself in a way or to convey a message. Anger and self-doubt were my emotions that I let lead
me.
Weathering the storm:
I had many things in my life occur that could be considered setbacks, negative or outright failure.
I was worry about controlling them all and not looking at what was controllable. Luckily,
through the storm I found a passion and purpose to help others and teach them what I learned by
sharing my personal stories. I developed empathy towards others and became a better listener.
This assisted my in my own personal relationships with my immediate family particularly my
Son.
I like to say I am a recovering pessimist and let people know that optimism has been my way of
bouncing back.
Susan,
Being a seasoned military spouse and pursuing a degree to help others is a great way to
pay it forward and improve the lack of compassion. Clearly, your description of your own
struggle demonstrates the example of the resilience life cycle. Building resilience, from the life
struggles you were confronted with and the negativity in your upbringing. Weathering the storm,
of all the negativity in the military spouse arena. Bouncing back and growing by taking the step
to be a human service counselor (Dees, 2011).
We all struggle with our own unique issues the fact that you are looking to improve the
issues you personally experienced is commendable. What a unique perspective you bring to the
daily lives of military spouses and the trials and tribulations it entails. I have seen both the good
and bad in the military family life as well. My experience had me grow up outside the United
States and I witnessed my Mother handling both parents’ roles and raising my sister and me.
Having been a military dependent, a service member and now a parent of a Soldier I emphasize
with you in your reference to lack of compassion in the human service counselors within the
Army. The fact that you had to endure the issues with your husband’s lack of chain of command
is not uncommon. As we all know it starts at the top.
One good service I have had the pleasure of working with is the military family life
counselors (MFLC). They have been a godsend for all the Soldiers and their families I have
personally recommend them to in their pursuit to being more resilient. Now, that my Son is in
the Army I consider it my calling to continue to help others in their pursuit of happiness.
Resilience has been the benchmark for my family and assisted us in our struggles. Based on
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your story I can also see that it is your calling to assist others in their pursuit of being able to rely
on the services provided to them.
Reference
Dees, R. F. (2011) Resilient warriors: the resilience trilogy. San Diego, CA: Creative Team
Publishing
Kari,
I agree with your perception of a calling being a purpose. Looking at your story I see you
have indeed answered the call. Being able to work and pair it with your calling is a unique gift
you have been bestowed. I also agree with being prepared mentally, physically, emotionally, and
spiritually. In the Army we used a saying that your words reminded me of be, know and do We
must be the best we can be and know our personal strengths and weaknesses and do our best to
assist others and show them the best the can be. Truly we must know our calling, our enemy,
friends, equipment, deploy the right mindset and get ready for action (Dees, 2011).
I also really enjoyed the quote, “awareness of a calling can come to a person at any point
in life, “ (Hall & Chandler, 2005). This is so true not to lament on my own calling it wasn’t until
the end of my career in the military I found my calling. I have too struggled with mindset as you
mentioned I have found the use of tactical or deliberate breathing to assist in my centers or focus.
Clearly, your accurate depiction of the resilience cycle shows the use of all the stages. Lastly,
your reference to breathing as Dees mentioned and the fact you have that bracelet is a great
reminder. I often had to tell myself to breath in difficult situations as well. “Experiencing work
as a calling is widely regarded to be a valuable feature of a life well-lived,” (Michaelson & Tosti-
Kharas, 2019)
References
Dees, R. F. (2011). Resilient warriors: The resilient trilogy. San Diego, CA: Creative Team .
Hall, D. T., & Chandler, D. E. (2005). Psychological success: When the career is a calling.
Journal of Organizational Behavior, 26 (2), 155-176. https://doi.org/10.1002/job.301
Michaelson, C., & Tosti-Kharas, J. (2019). Serving self or serving others? close relations'
perspectives on ethics and calling. Journal of Vocational Behavior, doi:10.1016/j.jvb.2019.02.005
