Gottman, J., & Silver, N. (2015). The seven principles for making marriage work: A practical guide
from the world’s foremost relationship expert (2nd rev. ed.). Harmony Books. ISBN:
9780553447712.
PLEASE REVIEW ABOVE BOOK. I don't have a way to get you the book but there is enough info online
that can be utilized. Instructions Below.
BOOK REVIEW:GOTTMAN AND SILVER ASSIGNMENT INSTRUCTIONS OVERVIEW
The Book Review system is a way of responding to readings that requires you to interact with new ideas
on several levels. Your Book Review of the Gottman and Silver text can be accomplished by thinking of
four action words: Summarize, Respond, Reflect, and Act.
INSTRUCTIONS
Your Book Review must be 4-5 pages, double-spaced (not including the title page and reference page).
You will be required to create a title page and a reference page (which cites the textbook) using the
current APA standards. Use the following headings and details to complete the review.
Summary
After identifying the title, author, and date of the book, summarize what you have read as if you were the
author condensing the book into 400-500 tight words. Prove that you comprehend the readings by
writing a no-nonsense summary. This section is not a commentary or listing of topics, but rather an in-
depth, insightful “précis” of the content.Short quotations are acceptable, but they should not be more
than 1-2 sentences. Direct quotations, paraphrases, and core notes must be properly cited. Do not
reference any other source in your summary. This summary is only about the assigned text. Do not use
first or second person; be a reporter and give clear, concise facts. Avoid the use of opinions and
personal experiences in this section.Do not copy and paste from the text, a website, student sample, or
from a previous 4-Mat Review──This is plagiarism!
Concrete Responses Get vulnerable! In 250-300 words, relate at least one personal life experience that
a specific part of this book (i.e., cite accordingly) triggered in your memory. Relate your story in first
person, describing action; quote exact words you remember hearing or saying and/or the non-verbals on
display in the memory. In the teaching style of Jesus, this is a do-it-yourself parable, case study, and/or
confession. You will remember almost nothing you have read unless you make this critical,
personal connection. What video memory began to roll? Be sure to connect your personal life example
to a specific insight or quote from the book.
LIFC 602While there is no need to reference any other source, it is important to include citations from
the assigned text. A brief explanation, verse location, and translation should be given when a Scripture
verse is utilized. Avoid long quotes. Reflection In about 250-300 words, discuss/analyze the book’s
content. As you read, keep rough notes of your thoughts. Begin with questions like, “What would I like
further information on?” Where do I not agree/strongly agree with the author?” or “What bothers
me/excites me about this content?”What new questions, insight(s), technique(s), word pictures(s), and
tool(s) or “ah-ha” moments popped up while reading the book?There is no need to reference any other
source. If a verse is cited, then a brief explanation should be included to inform the reader (i.e., brief
explanation: verse location and translation). Application In about 250-300 words, explain how the
information in the book influences your own personal/professional growth process? What specific
actions or changes are you going to make in your life as a result of your learning? Your response here is
a matter of obedience first, questions later. Be precise in summarizing your action steps.
Outline
Book Review
Thesis: The authors provide insights on how to handle issues such as family, work, sex, religion
and money amongst others during the subsistence of a marriage. Basically, this book is insightful
and is based on scientific research carried out over time.
I. Introduction
II. Body
III. Conclusion
Running head: BOOK REVIEW 1
Book Review
Name
Institution
Date
BOOK REVIEW 2
Book Review
In the book “The seven principles for making marriage work: A practical guide from the
world’s foremost relationship expert” the authors seek to change the human mindset on how
marriages can be understood, repaired or strengthened (Gottman & Silver, 2015). Particularly,
the authors through a study about couples caried over the years make conclusions on what can
make marriages to be successful or not. First, the authors note that most marriages that work are
those that are based on friendship between the couple who must also be prepared to be positive
in their outlook of things. They also note that other marriages breakdown because of reasons that
may have been caused by the couple. Through the book, they establish that there are seven
principles that can help couples to live in harmony as well as maintain an enduring relationship.
Further, it is noted that these principles can guide the couples on how to solve conflicts as well as
the establishment of a unified position on different issues (Gottman & Silver, 2015). Besides
this, the book reveals how to achieve intimacy in a marriage as well as offering guidance on how
to collaborate to resolve challenges that may arise between couples. Additionally, the authors
provide insights on how to handle issues such as family, work, sex, religion and money amongst
others during the subsistence of a marriage. Basically, this book is insightful and is based on
scientific research carried out over time.
The first principle is titled “Enhance Your Love Maps,” whereby the authors assert that a
person can truly love another if one knows the other well. Here, they argue that happy couples
are those that know each other intimately and can easily point out the likes and dislikes of the
other. The second principle is “Nurture Your Fondness and Admiration,” that calls for
establishment of affection and respect between the couples (Gottman & Silver, 2015). This is
crucial in creating a long-lasting and fulfilling romance. The third is to “Turn Toward Each
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Other Instead of Away,” whereby couples are implored to engage with each other on a daily
basis. The significance of this is that it establishes an emotional bond between the couples within
the marriage rather than creating a wedge between them.
The fourth principle is to “Let Your Partner Influence You,” which means that decisions
should be made by the couples jointly. In this case, the authors note that there is need for couples
to take into consideration the feelings and views of one another before making a decision. The
result of this is that the couples are happier and lead a stable marriage. The fifth principle is
“Solve Your Solvable Problems” that offers an account on how to resolve challenges that may
impact on the marriage (Gottman & Silver, 2015). This could be achieved by softening a stance
on an issue and attempting to repair the problem to reduce the tension. Thereafter, the couple
should calm down and soothe each other while at the same time endeavoring to tolerate one
another’s flaws. The sixth is to “Overcome Gridlock” whereby the authors propose that perpetual
problems should be identified and addressed (Gottman & Silver, 2015). This is through
supporting each other’s aspirations while at the same time pursuing personal ones. Finally, there
is need to “Create Shared Meaning” which implies that couples should enrich their spiritual lives
while at the same time being part of a family unit.
A personal life experience that the sixth principle titled “Overcoming Gridlock” triggered
in me involved dealing with a perpetual problem that had persisted over time (Gottman & Silver,
2015). I remember that there were certain unresolved problems whereby I stuck to my position
regardless of my partner’s opinions. My view is that this was partly because of our egos that
made us not to agree on the decision about a holiday destination. While I preferred gong to the
coast, my partner was of the view that the holiday could be postponed to a later date. Therefore, I
BOOK REVIEW 4
felt that my hopes and aspirations had been diminished by the adamant position taken by my
partner.
I have to contend that the hardline position that we both took over the same issue made
me lose a sense of freedom and adventure. Therefore, I was unwilling to give up my position in
favor of that of my partner. Besides, I note that there was no progress in agreeing on a particular
position concerning this issue. However, I eventually sought to overcome this gridlock through a
number of initiatives learnt from this chapter in the book. First, I embarked on uncovering my
underlying dreams with an aim of ensuring that I respect and support my partner without
sacrificing my own. Therefore, I discussed this with her on the best way forward without hurting
the position she had adopted. Eventually, I succeeded in convincing her that the best decision
would be to agree on a joint date that is convenient for both of us; hence overcoming the gridlock
that I had experienced before. My view from this experience is that at times it is prudent for
people to put aside their hardline positions and agree on issues amicably or without placing
unnecessary barriers.
On reflection, it should be reiterated that the authors have provided insightful ways
through which couples can make their marriages to work well. The significance of the book is
that it is premised upon scientific investigations of couples that involved different mechanisms of
research. For instance, they use interviews as well as studying the emotional and physical
wellbeing of couples to gauge whether they are in happy unions. Critically, it is also imperative
that the book downplays multiple myths that have been put forward to explain the reasons
marriages fail (Gottman & Silver, 2015). For example, they show that marriages do not only fail
because of absence of communication or skills in resolving conflicts. A notable contribution of
the book is that it underscores the fact that a happy marriage is based on strong friendship
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between the couple. This helps in enhancing positivity about the relationship as well as reducing
the chance that it may be difficult to resolve conflicts that may arise during the time that the
marriage exists.
The book is also groundbreaking in the sense that it enumerates several interrelated signs
that also show that a marriage is likely to breakdown. For example, any discussion that begins on
a sharp note is likely to trigger a fallout in a marriage. Additionally, the authors emphasize that
negative engagements that are characterized by criticism, contempt, being defensive and evasive
behavior may be signs of an imminent fallout within a marriage (Gottman & Silver, 2015). It is
agreeable to note that marriages whereby stonewalling about issues are more likely to end. The
authors have ably demonstrated this by showing that this often leads to isolation and loneliness,
which eventually lead to the breakdown of the union (Gottman & Silver, 2015). Overall, the
book is well-researched and offers a clear pathway through which couples can enhance their
marriages through friendship and staying positive.
Conclusively, it can be argued that the authors explored different dimensions on how to
determine whether a marriage can work or not. Contrary to popular beliefs or myths about
marriages, the scientific approach that has been used is more convincing in determining
marriages that are likely to be successful and those that are destined for failure (Gottman &
Silver, 2015). These seven principles provide a dynamic and comprehensive way through which
people should approach marriages. The authors advise that marriages that are based on friendship
and mutual pursuance of common goals tend to be more fruitful. As a result of the observations
and notes carried from the book, a person should attempt to apply the principles to confirm if
they work. Importantly, the reasons that the authors give as well as the scientific backing provide
compelling evidence that the principles may be effective (Gottman & Silver, 2015). They
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provide a clear framework to evaluate the relationship between couples in the marriage and how
they interact. In conclusion, this book can be stated to have opened debate on how people can
avoid pitfalls that can lead to conflicts, separation or even divorce in a marriage.
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Reference
Gottman, J., & Silver, N. (2015). The seven principles for making marriage work: A practical
guide from the world’s foremost relationship expert (2nd rev. ed.). Harmony Books.
ISBN: 9780553447712.
