HSMF 603
POWERPOINT ASSIGNMENT INSTRUCTIONS
OVERVIEW
This assignment will provide students the opportunity to further develop and apply the concepts
from Ron Deal’s book, Dating and the Single Parent and key concepts from the course to a
specific audience. Based on Deal’s book and the course content students will develop a
PowerPoint presentation in preparing single parents to have meaningful dating experiences.
This exercise will enable students to further develop the concepts from the course to specific
populations and the ability to create a professional, visually appealing presentation.
INSTRUCTIONS
Students will submit a PowerPoint Presentation in Module 5:Week 5.
A 14-15 - Slide PowerPoint
o Title and Reference slides are not included in the total slides.
Number of References: Minimum of 5 scholarly sources in addition to Deal and
PREPARE/ENRICH Content.
Required sources: Peer-reviewed articles published within the last five years.
Students will use the current APA standards citing and references resources. and present
ideas in a professional (graduate level) writing and academic voice. Points will be
deducted for failure to follow current APA Standards, which includes the use of correct
proper citations, and references.
Slides
o Title Slide
o Slide with at least 3 specific learning outcomes. Learning outcomes are
essentially what your audience will gain by participating in the training. For
example: At the end of this presentation the audience will be able to” (Example):
discuss, identify, articulate, define, particular aspects that you desire for them to
learn and gain from the training exercise.
o Slide with “Defined Audience and Location. For example, the audience would be
a group of single parents hosted by identifying the group such as a church or faith
group.
Date and Times of the Proposed Meeting
Location of the Proposed Meeting
o Presentation Slides:
Identify and integrate key concepts from Dating and the Single Parent (Deal),
PREPARE/ENRICH, and scholarly research for your audience that will assist
them in understanding decision-making regarding dating as a single parent.
Focus on creating a focused and integrated presentation versus repeating what
is provided in any of the course or scholarly sources.
Provide subpoints which support your primary key concepts.
Include “ice-breakers” or other activities that you use to engage your audience
to build a sense of group cohesiveness.
Include biblical references
Cite sources in the Presentation Slides
Limited graphics can be included as needed.
HSMF 603
o Conclusion: Summarize key points addressed in the PowerPoint presentation.
o Reference slide
Dating and the Single Parent
Name
Institution
OBJECTIVES
The audience should: identify
some of the unique challenges for
single parents who are trying to
instill faith in their kids- quick
engagements and marriage might
be a set up for anger and
resistance from kids
Articulate the importance of
prioritizing dating the single
parents with their children as a
whole package and involving kids
into the dating process to have
their perspective about the whole
process of dating and settling down
and to give them a clue of where
life is leading.
Discuss parenting values as a major
consideration about engagement-
differentiate between couplyness
and familyness
Defined Audience and Location.
Audience: The discussion will target two groups:
-A group of Single and dating parents
-People dating single parents
Host; Christian union church
Date and Time :31st July 2021
10:00am-1:00pm
Identification and integration of key
concepts
Dating and the Single Parent delves into a blend of the complexity of blended
families and the issues of single parents who are dating.
It highlights the potential pitfalls associated with dating single parents explicitly
when children are involved and gives the ways to navigate through these
hiccups.
The author highlights the importance looking beyond the excitement of dating by
considering the reason why they are dating and the appropriateness of the dating
process in making the family.
The book is divided into three sections:
i) Getting Past Butterflies and Warm Fuzzies
ii) Going Fishing
iii) Marital Commitment and Stepfamily Preparation
Getting Past Butterflies and Warm
Fuzzies
Purpose of dating- goes beyond merely finding a soul mate
There is a difference between couplyness and familyness such that it is one thing to
date and form a marriage relationship and is another thing to crate a family.
Creating a family is an engaging process that entails loving the person one is dating
with all that is attached to them explicitly children.
Addresses God’s guidelines as a core consideration in dating and works on dispelling
primary myths concerning dating.
Another major highlight are on blending dating with God’s guidelines and revolves
around issues such as kissing; hugging and sexual relations
Mentorship is highlighted as a key aspect in maintaining sexual purity by helping one
overcome the sexual temptations.
This first division contains five subsections ;
-Dating with a purpose
-Knowing when one is ready to date
-Highlighting the readiness factors
-Addressing the fear factor
-Identification of Kids fears and dating consideration
Dating with a purpose
Before one engages in dating there should be
a clarity for driving force behind it
The purpose of dating should be more about
finding someone that shares and resonates
with your core believes and attitudes .
Although a majority subscribe to the thought
of finding a soul mate as the main priority,- a
2001 study underscored the overwhelming
numbers of 24 year olds at least 94%
subscribed to this-the author points out that
it is a form of selfish thinking(Deal,2012).
Test drive or the consumer attitude comes
as a brainchild of finding a soul mate as the
main purpose behind dating.
The ramifications of test drive include;
-it has contribution to the developing
relationship
-It is a selfish undertaking that overly
concentrates on individual
happiness over parenthood
-it assumes that God’s purpose for marriage
is to make us happy which is right but
not in the ways we expect.
Gods intent in marriage to make us
holly, healthy and happy by is to using
the family to teach us on ;obedience ,
respect for authority and submission
(Barker et al,1995).
The purpose of dating should have God’
perspective in mind and should include
discerning :
i) whether the person one is dating is
ready to embrace and resonate with your
faith value systems and approach in life.
ii)Whether you can love sacrificially
without reservation and a reciprocation of
the same
iii) whether the child will be affected
positively by the common commitment to
God and the combined families
Knowing when one is ready to date
To find out if a person is ready for dating the author uses FAQs in the dating
process to help them gauge the entire process(Deal,2012).
Time is a key factor in helping one know when they are ready because
-it helps one to know whether their partners are fit from the core.
-it will make known the true character of your partner -whether they are
authentic or façade, transparent or not or if they are people with
integrity.
-surfaces the true picture of if cohesiveness is unlikely or whether the
extended families can merge
-whether the parents are ready to take their children through this
transition
One should slow the pace of the dating process and should not rush past the need
of their children for reliable nurturing.
Dating will require less effort if children are grown and on their own because
there is less competition of attachment at a developmentally significant time
for the children.
Contrary to the grown children who are able to deal with life transition without
emotional drain , children between 10 and fifteen have most difficult time
making space for a step parent and more likely to resist against the union.
Highlighting the readiness factors
Emotional readiness- Consider the forces and internal drives at the current season of your
life.
Growing healthy relationship is contingent on strong positive emotions as such one should
not be compelled into relationship with emotional forces such as guilt , fear, unhappiness or
loneliness.
Relax in your aloneness- Although its feasibility is questionable with God’s help one can
overcome loneliness by being still to avoid being victims of marital amnesia that fools people
into believing they are ready fro new relationship when they are not
Trust God; In Psalms 46;10 , God reminds us to be still, and know that he is God (Barker et
al,1995). This thought points out the importance of being still in our aloneness as the first step
of finding emotional readiness. Trusting God with the little that you understand an aligning to
his expectation expands our wisdom and readiness for dating
Explore your emotional history; Emotional readiness source from relational history or our
family of origin. Relational patterns are pivotal in understanding our emotional readiness and
are a robust force behind how we think , behave and make decisions(Deal,2012).
Timing issues ; Pay attention to the timing of new relationships and not downplay the
significance of ongoing attachments .Timing contributes to the clarity and definition to the
relationship as well as offers ambiquity and confusion.
Gap worries; Filling financial and emotional gaps especially for parents whose partners have
died or are MIA exposes many parents to vulnerability.
Though filling this gap is undeniable replacement dating should not be propelled by the
desire to provide the child with a two parent home with a wealthier income.
Identification of Kids fears and dating
consideration
Fears
Children relate differently with new
partners in their parents life, some are
excited while others go into jealous rage
(Gray et al, 2016).
However nearly all kids have some degree of
concern on this issue-for instance kids might
be excited if their widowed parent starts
dating and on the flip side may feel like their
deceased parents are forgotten
Kids fears includes :
i) Losing connection and time with their parents
ii)The effect of the partners to their parents
attitudes and behaviors towards them.
iii) losing inherence, family traditions and
identity if their parents engage with other
partners
Dating considerations
Kids should be involved in the dating process-
minimizing or ignoring a child's concern is arguably
more detrimental in a relationship than fear.
Parents should make their children’s concern as a
priority while dating by paying attention to the
fears and needs of their kids and giving
consideration to the pace of the relationship
(Olson & Olson, 2015).
Parents must identify the individual differences in
their children concerning their adjustments to the
life transition. Not all children will have an easy
time adjusting –every child is a pilot for a
different rocket that is launched differently and
has different speed.
Reassure the kids of your continued presence
rather than forcing them into accepting your
partner.
Engage in what if conversations as a way of
introducing potential realities and to understand
more about their emotions on the issue.
Honor special family days and occasions with
family members only
Addressing the fear factor
Nearly every single dating parents and kids have fear. Before they start dating
and some when they approach marriage (Gray et al, 2016).
Identifying individual fears and those of the children is needed for the dating
process to be successful
The fears include; fear in ones potential to be a perfect match
fear in your partner of keeping up with your expectation
fear of how the children will adjust to the transition
which may cause the child pain or losing connection
fear of the stumbling blocks of blended families
Ex-spouse fear
spiritual judgment .
Fear has negative effects as it dismantles the developing relationship and
paralyses your lives.
Although it is a significant catalyst of self preservation it limits one from doing
things that one can for love and prevents the dating people from choosing risk.
Praying to God for guidance in overcoming these fears is pertinent in maintaining
a healthy family relationship during this process
Going fishing
The second selection purpose is to highlight best ways of finding a partner
The first step is getting ready for dating while the second tsk is being smart in
dating .
This chapter highlights the important aspects to look for in finding someone
worthy for marriage
The chapter is divided into there subsections; i)Finding love in the right
places
ii)Yellow Light. Red light, green
light.
iii)Going deeper
Finding love in the right places
Although falling in love is a good sign in dating it clouds our judgment when
making critical decisions-this calls for standards of measurements to get below
the surface of biochemistry when dating (Gray et al, 2016).
Find someone that is strong in character and is emotionally stable –as such three
needs to be a silhouette of someone spirit character and inner beauty.
The dating partners characters that should be included in your silhouette
Includes; i) submissiveness to God –look for a follower of Christ
ii)Humility –makes them increasingly perfect throughout their lifetime
iii)sexually controlled- someone that actively guards their heart and
body from pre-covenant sexual behavior reveals their submissiveness to
God desire for a healthy relationship and their respect for you as their
life partners
iv)a spiritual personal trainer-challenges your walk in God and cheer you
on our way to health
v)Family considerations- dates you as a package with your children.
Where to look –look for a partner in gatherings of people that you know something
about or reflect your core values –for instance meeting someone at church or a
service project (Deal,2012).
Avoid online dating because –it may not bring out family satisfaction, they lead to
Long distance romances that mature into logistical nightmares for parents and
children and hiding the true characters (Romero, 2020).
Yellow Light. Red light, green light.
Flashing yellow lights –after slowing down
to for emotional readiness and identifying
the right partners take a good look around
to check your level of confidence in
dating to see if your ready to date or not
(Deal,2012).
examples of yellow lights –
-If dating is inconsistent with actual blended
family
-a quick turn around-desperation and
loneliness may bounce you into pain
-Pressured to marry and willing to
accommodate -adds undue pressure to the
dating process and sabotages discernment
-character issues
-personality differences
-difficult and unbelieving Ex-spsouse
Red lights means stop with the dating
process.
Examples: -extreme differences in
parenting
-Someone that rushes you into
getting married
- a horrible ex spouse
-Settling for cohabitation
-imbalanced dance of want
Green Light relates to the go ahead for
dating and an eventual marriage
realized through a blend of purpose,
sense of direction and safety in the
relationship
A green light is also indicated by the
children and family support in the
dating process
Going deeper
This chapter looks at Marital Commitment and
Stepfamily Preparation and Decisions about
marriage
Marital Commitment and Stepfamily Preparation
In making the determination of readiness in
dating, one should make time to reflect upon past
dating patterns and results.
This help in deciding whether one is repeating the
same pattern over and over again or if maturity
has been occurring through the dating process
(Deal,2012).
if one has confident issues they should not
engage until their confidence rises-it reduces
anxiety and calms the heart
Agree to marry when both of you have a clear
commitment that you can trust.
Marry a person you are convinced will bring
emotional , spiritual and relational and
psychological blessings to your children
confidence should be based on realistic
expectations about the future realized through-
i) pre-engagement counseling- helps explore your
concerns and frustrations
ii)taking the couple check up
Decisions about marriage
Solidify your union –parenting in step families I
differs than in biological families and this calls for
the dating partners to be a unified team to avoid
crumbling the relationship.
Crock-pot cooking style-take a slow pace in settling
down in the marriage or the relationship because each
of the partner needs time for adjustment (Deal,2012).
Exercises and recommendations ;
Exercise how you will introduce your partner to the
kids and the family members
prepare your self and the kids on the possible
changes that may take place
Recognize the loss exercise by engaging your children
in dialogue about loss by leading through your
example and acknowledging theirs.
Engage the children in the wedding planning activity
as appropriate to their age by listening to their ideas
and respect their desired level of engagements
Engage in pre-step family counselling to help realize
the potholes and work on the possible hiccups
associated with blended families .
Conclusion
One of the key consideration in dating is the kids perspective in the whole
process of dating.
Kids should be involved in the process to help overcome the potential hiccups
linked to blended families.
Time is an important resource in giving the green light for couple s to date as
it enables to partners to get a deeper understanding of their partners and
informs them of their emotional readiness.
Dating partners may have false confidence that relates to unrealistic
expectation and thus they need informed people such as counsellors or
therapists to guide them through their concerns and fears.
References
Barker, K. L., Burdick, D. W., & Stek, J. (Eds.). (1995). The NIV study
bible (p. 2179). Grand Rapids: Zondervan Publishing House.
Deal, R. L. (2012). Dating and the Single Parent:* Are You Ready to Date?*
Talking With the Kids* Avoiding a Big Mistake* Finding Lasting Love. Baker
Books.
Gray, P. B., Franco, C. Y., Garcia, J. R., Gesselman, A. N., & Fisher, H. E.
(2016). Romantic and dating behaviors among single parents in the United
States. Personal Relationships,23(3), 491-504.
Olson, A. K., & Olson, D. H. (2015). Discoveries about couples from
PREPARE/ENRICH. In Evidence-based approaches to relationship and
marriage education (pp. 145-158). Routledge.
Romero, J. (2020). Adult Children's Attitudes, Advice, and Assistance Toward
Single Parents' Use of Online Dating/Dating Apps (Doctoral dissertation, New
Mexico State University).
Tuffour, F. (2017). A Marriage Preparation Program in the South Central Ghana
Conference of the Seventh-day Adventist Church.
