Running head: PRACTICAL BOOK REVIEW 1
Practical Book Review
Liberty University
PRACTICAL BOOK REVIEW 2
Practical Book Review
James Petersen’s Why Don’t We Listen Better? (2015), outlines practical and basic ways
to become a better listener. When it comes to interpersonal communication there must first be an
establishment of both a speaker and a listener. Petersen explains to readers hoe to become a
better listener. The listener becomes better at listening by incorporating the listening skills
learned throughout the text. Communication is defined as the ability to share information and
connect with others. It has two levels: Level one is the interchange of general information and
discussion of points of view. Level two establishes a deeper communication that leads to a
satisfying relationship with others. In this level a connection of feelings, development of trust
and intimacy is established, and strangers become friends (Petersen, 2015)
Petersen also divides communication into three parts in his discussion; stomach, heart
and head. The “stomach” consists of an individuals emotions or feelings. The “heart” which
when considers many possibilities. The “head” processes the thinking and rational functions.
When an individual becomes distracted by their personal feelings (Stomach) toward a subject
they are unable to the hear or consider the other persons thoughts, Petersen describes this as
“flat-brained”. A “flat -brained” individual has their feelings all over the place, enabling them to
think properly. It is most challenging to communicate effectively with these individuals and it
requires a much different approach, the Talker-Listener Card(TLC). The TLC was designed to
help individuals who are flat brained. The TLC technique provides the cement and the guidance
to establish fairness in relationships because as we listen better and share thoughts and feelings
with each other, the gaps between persons gets smaller, therefore increasing the trust and
connection at a deeper level of the human spirit (Petersen, 2015). The Talker Listener Card
shows individuals their role in the conversation. The “Talker” is the individual and their goal is
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to get their point of view and feelings across to the listener. While the “talker” is talking, he/she
must remain unbiased, give no judgement, must not accuse label or attack the listener no matter
the situation. Petersen concludes that when a person who talks first actually listens, and the one
who listens first then talks, the communication is focused on each other’s points of view, one at a
time, thus eliminating the arguing and the misunderstandings (Petersen, 2015).
Response
Throughout the text, I was able to visualize some individuals I know who examples of
certain behaviors described. I have a friend who loves to talk about herself. It is as if she can
never get enough of talking about herself, whether its good or bad. We can sit and have a
conversation about one thing and the next thing you know she starts talking about herself. I
realized then, she was what Petersen described as people who pretend to listen but cant get a
word in, change the subject to be about them or their problem in relation to the conversation. Yet,
her interjections usually do not have anything to do with the conversation.
Its hard to talk to her sometimes. She acts as if she is in competition with me especially if
it’s a personal problem. Her problems are worse than mine or she goes through the most. I have
gotten to the point where I choose not to talk to her about my problems because of how she
responds. I realize how she makes me feel in conversation, and I cannot help but wonder if
people feel the same about me. Do I interject and talk about myself without knowing it at some
time or another; it is a possibility I have. We should challenge each other and ourselves to be
aware of how we make others feel while listening to them.
Critique
Petersen’s text book (2015) provides great listening techniques. Yet, I believe that some
of the approaches are not applicable to all situations or environments. The mental health field I
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work in my clients suffer from IDD and other developmental disabilities. They do not have the
communication skills necessary to take ownership of their own lives or even make hard decisions
or set short term goals. Also, at times it is hard to communicate with them. Some have severe
speech impediments, some are not able to comprehend and answer questions or carry out small-
talk.
A strong point in the text was the empowerment of an individual so that they can make
their own decisions. Being able to acknowledge one’s own feelings and asking the necessary
questions to decipher the message are great skills to have. Yet how do individuals who lack the
ability to properly understand develop or acquire theses skills? How do we break down
communication to fit their level of understanding? Even when teaching my class, I have to break
down my material I am presenting down to what is fitting for first/second grade, yet I am dealing
with adults 19-72 years old, and even then, they are unable to fully grasp the lesson. There must
be a way, or a few ways to establish these communication skills with individuals who suffer from
IDD.
Application
This book has provided me with tools to advance my listening skills. Achieving better
listening skills will help to expand my interpersonal communication in all the areas of my life. I
look forward to using the new information in my work and personal life. Hopefully
I can find a way to teach my very own clients the information by making it to where they can
understand it enough to implement it in their lives. I also must become more aware of my role as
a listener. I would dislike it if I found myself to be that listener who interjects to talk about
themselves and makes other people’s problems their problems.
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References
Petersen, J. C. (2015). Why don’t we listen better? Communicating & connecting in relationships
(Revised and expanded ed.). Portland, OR: Petersen Publications
