The Family: A Christian Perspective on the Contemporary Home
Balswick and Balswick discussed family systems theory, which includes individualism. As
explained in the chapter, individualism has caused us to focus on the individual’s needs and
perspective rather than on relationships and groups (Balswick & Balswick, 2014). Yet when it
comes to a family-systems perspective, the focus is on the family, which is considered as a
system. Systems are defined as any identifiable whole composed of interrelated individual parts
(Balswick & Balswick, 2014). That means family systems had multiple subsystems, including
within it the nuclear family and the extended family. Each These units of the systems are
interrelated and operate within boundaries. Family systems are however on a minor scale when
you consider larger systems such as community and world social systems. Scales of this
magnitude would be classified as complex systems, which is scaled on a macrolevel, which is
opposite of a family which is more on a microlevel. These systems have levels of feedback:
simple, cybernetic, morphogenesis, and reorientation. In laymen’s terms the goal of systems to
provide a better understanding of the changes and the development of family has time changes. I
cannot help but to use the Royal Family as an example- who is now going through a transition,
not just in hierarchy from a community system view, but also in the family system as well. The
authors also pointed out the family development theory, which is designed to allow us to view
the typical family’s progression through various stages of life (Balswick & Balswick, 2014).
These transitions that happen in the family, whether it is celebratory or tragic, play an intrigant
part in helping the family to move from stage to another. An example of a celebratory transition
would be marriage, which is the beginning point of another family. This stage leads in most
family to the triad stage, which is the welcoming of a child. The family then must now embrace
the stage of flexibility, and even launching when the time comes for the child leaves the nest for
their own lives, whether that is college, work, or marriage. Once this occurs the family deals with
post launching, and then retirement. When both systems are integrated, it can help develop a
strong family. As Balswick & Balswick (2014) explained, only the strong families can survive
the intrusiveness of contemporary society. Similar to what the Bible states in 1 Peter 5:10 which
states, And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have
suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm, and steadfast.
On the other end of the spectrum is family spirituality, which is an umbrella for the family way
of cultivating their understanding as it relates to their biblical and moral beliefs (Balswick &
Balswick, 2016). From a moral perspective there is the discussion of obedience and punishment,
individualism and exchange, interpersonal relationship stage, maintaining social order, social
contract and individual rights, and the universal principles stage, which deals with how people
are viewed as equal, regardless of personal differences. On the other hand, there is the faith
perspective which is developed through various stages: undifferentiated faith, intuitive-projective
faith, mythical-literal faith, synthetic-conventional faith, intuitive-reflective faith, and
conjunctive faith and universalizing faith. One relational perspective, known as the trinitarian
model, suggests that the goal of achievement of family is to strive for differentiated faith.
Differentiated faith in the context of family is multilayered: first each family is differentiated in
Christ, second, each member establishes spiritual differentiation in the context of the family; and
third, a differentiated family spirituality develops, which serves as a unifying and transforming
process in the life of each family member.
The other topic of discussion for family relationships has to do with love and intimacy. Intimacy
is the behavioral interdependency, fulfillment of needs and emotional attachment (Balswick &
Balswick, 2014). Intimacy in families is very important because it allows the family a safe place
where intimacy can take place. However, building intimacy can be as complex as it is most
important. For one thing, it must be desired from a biblical standpoint. Therefore, it must be
expressed in various ways. One way to express it is by simply saying “I love you,” which ought
to be the most effortless and pleasurable phrase to say to those we love, are actually very difficult
for most people to utter (Balswick & Balswick, 2014). However, love should be expressed and
one way of expressing this love is through communication. Another way love can be expressed is
through nonverbal expressions of love. The love that is expressed by the family shows genuine
concern for others for the well-being for the those who are a part of the family. Most parents for
instance, show emotional connection with their children, and in marriage, affection and
companionship are always ways love is expressed. The goal is showing the expression of love
similar to the level of love that is shared by Christ. He provided to us the greatest expression of
love, by loving us before we loved Him.
God, Marriage, and Family: A comprehensive Rebuilding the Biblical Foundation
Köstenberger & Jones (2010) provides a brief snapshot of how children should be taught
according to the New Testament. During Biblical times, the family lived together with the young
men learning from the father, and the daughter learning domestic duties from the mother. While
Jesus affirmed marriage and blessed children, he also conceived of the community of believers in
familial terms transcending those of people’s natural relations (Köstenberger & Jones, 2010). In
His eyes, children were special because even in their youthful innocence. Several scriptures were
used giving reference to children, and how Christ encourages believers to have a child like spirit.
Children are embedded with an innocence about them, and as a result they are solely depended
upon others who are wiser than the parents. Paul looked at their innocence and their obedience
and considered it to be vital. According to Paul in Ephesians 6:1, children obey your parents in
the Lord because this is right. Paul also expressed that if the children are going to obedient, then
parents also are to show compassion and love to children as well. Fathers are to provide
discipline and instructions from the Lord, as explained by Ephesians 5:29. Mothers however
play a role in providing wisdom and guidance to younger women.
The author also discussed homosexuality, which seems to be a hot topic from a biblical view.
While some individuals justify homosexuality, the Bible advises believers to live a holy life. One
of the most recognized scriptures that is discussed when it comes to homosexual is found in
Genesis 18:17-19:29, where it gives the story of Lot and his family in Sodom and Gomorrah, as
well as the laws in the book of Leviticus. In the New Testament, Paul’s letters in Romans, 1
Timothy, and 1Corinthians provide further views of homosexuality as well. In the heterosexual
marriage, the institution is ordained by God between a man and a woman. Yet the Bible is clear
about showing love and forgiveness for all sins. This resonated with me because I have several
family members who are in same sex marriages. While I struggled with their choice to live a
homosexual lifestyle, I also had to learn how to find a balance with showing them Godly love for
their personal choices.
Family Ministry
Garland (2012) provided a biblical frame of what family is. According to Garland (2012), the use
of family metaphors indirectly calls the people of God to live in these with one another, pointing
to a God who loves us even more than the love that we have experienced with one another.
Marriage for instance shows us an example of what commitment looks like even through all the
transitions experienced. That means such behaviors as longsuffering, forgiveness, grace, and
patience must be present. This has been the formula since the beginning, as according to Genesis
2. Jesus, who was then formed by God, included in His ministry, lessons about family and its
relationships. He showed the disciples a lesson on discipleship, and how there is such a cost to it.
As explained by Garland (2012), the imagery of family is important in the Bible, but it is
imagery that points us to the family composed by God, not by human alliances or biological
relationships.
Family therapies: A comprehensive Christian Appraisal
Yarhouse & Sells (2017) discussed the Bowenian family therapy, which is sometimes called the
transgenerational family therapy. This therapy emphasis is on spanning generations in its
conceptualization of normal family functioning, family dysfunction, and methods of
intervention. According to Bowen, family was already in existence without the assistance of
humanity. His belief was the family is a “naturally occurring system” (Yarhouse & Sells, 2017).
Three systems evolve around humanity: the emotional, feeling, and the intellectual systems. The
emotional is transferred from generation to generation, which is essentially what transgenerational
family therapy is all about. The intellectual system reflects how people reason or process
information and, thus, make changes (Yarhouse & Sells, 2017). The emotional system is thought to
occur in families or patterns, so theorists like Bowen anticipated seeing sequences of fusions over
the years, which were called the nuclear family emotional system (Yarhouse & Sells, 2017). From
Christian perspective relationships are thought of with reference to our own will and reason. As
believers we understand theory, however we have a better understanding as to how emotions help
shape our character.
The author also discussed strategic family therapy, which is a “systemic approach to family
interventions that focuses on identifying the underlying patterns or rules that regulate or dictate
the space between people in relationship” (Yarhouse & Sells, 2017). The therapy is one of the
most recognized powerful techniques in family therapy. From a Christian perspective it is
important to examine theory and philosophy, as well as considering the technique of strategic
therapy for better understanding.
Structural family therapy on the other hand is related to its own title-organization. According to
Yarhouse & Sells (2017), structure is the prevailing principle that influences behaviors. Structure
is important not only in organizations, but also in families. Families can work together when
structure is in place because responsibilities are allocated to specific individuals. This approach
gained popularity because of the work of Salvador Minuchin who later bought the work to the
Philadelphia Child Guidance Clinic, which is a place a had the opportunity of working at years
ago. It was great to read about this since I had personal connection to this facility. Structure also
exemplifies Christ like qualities because structure is also a part of the Godhead.
Psychodynamic family therapy is linked with Sigmund Freud’s psychoanalysis along with other
noteworthy practitioners, like Alfred Adler, and Harry Stack Sullivan. Freud’s focus was more on
the unconscious aspect of personality. Freud saw the genesis or formation of individual
pathology as embedded within the family relationship (Yarhouse & Sells, 2017). This method of
therapy is successful primarily contingent upon the therapist’s ability to enter the system, and to
be objective enough to interpret the projections.
The Expanding Life Cycle
In the chapters by McGoldrick and Carter (2016), they attention was on topics such as sex and
gender. As explained by the authors, sex is important for the continuation of species. Families are
unable to continue for generations if sex is not involved. From sex, we can have genders, which
is the byproduct of sex. Gender is a social construction and as such, each culture has its own
particular ways of constructing gender categories and behaviors that are appropriate to each
(Carter & McGoldrick, 2016). Various terms are discussed like gender identity, which relates to
how the person feel about themselves and how they would categories themselves, whether that
be male or female. Other terms would include transgendered, which relates to how an individual
view themselves versus their gender. This term relates to an internal conflict that the person
experiences. Another term discussed is transgendered which is the umbrella term that refers to a
wide range of gender experiences and presentations (Carter et al, 2016). When it comes to such
topics as sexuality and family development one of the factors that is also important is boundaries.
Boundaries regulate who is responsible for what, and how family members relate to and interact,
both with each other and with people outside the family (Carter et al, 2016). Boundaries relate a
lot to respect, and where it begins and ends. This is a huge topic specifically when it comes to
sexual preferences.
One area this is important is when it comes to LGBT community. The reality is, the LGBT is a
part of the family cycle, with civil rights like every other heterosexual individual in the family.
The LGBT civil rights movement has made great strides in legitimizing the created families of
LGBT communities by pursuing the legalization of Gay marriage and adoption of children by
LG individuals and couples (Carter et al, 2016). The chapter also discusses the various
challenges LGBT families experience specifically from the heterosexual community. Similar to
those who have experienced racial and gender oppression, the LGBT community also face
challenges as well.
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