LIBERTY UNIVERSITY
JOHN W. RAWLINGS SCHOOL OF DIVINITY
4-MAT Chapter Review: Clinton & Hawkins Assignment
Submitted to Dr. David Dixon
In fulfillment of the requirements for the completion of
the Doctor of Ministry Degree
Department of Christian Leadership and Church Ministries
by
Angela Warner
November 6, 2022
Contents
Introduction....................................................................................................................................1
Summary of Clinton & Hawkins Chapter ..................................................................................2
Concrete Responses of Clinton & Hawkins Chapter..................................................................2
Reflection of Clinton & Hawkins Chapter..................................................................................2
Application of Clinton & Hawkins Chapter................................................................................3
The Danger of a Lack of Pre-Marital and Marital Counseling preparation in Pastoral
Counseling......................................................................................................................................3
Personal Application......................................................................................................................3
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1
Introduction
For many couples, the thought of attending pre-marital and marital counseling sessions in
a pastoral environment causes them to feel uneasy. This feeling of uneasiness occurs because
many people view counseling to mean trouble in paradise. Although in some cases this may be
true, especially pertaining to marital counseling, but not so much when it comes to pre-marital
counseling. Pre-marital and marital counseling are both effective and necessary for couples to
develop and maintain a death do us part marriage that is God-centered as well as filled with love,
understanding, hope, forgiveness, giving, peace, joy, happiness, respect, success, and prosperity
in all areas as God intended. This paper provides a definition of pre-marital and marital
counseling, examples of a place for pre-marital and marital counseling in general life, a place for
pre-marital and marital counseling in pastoral ministry, a place for pre-marital and marital
counseling in marriage relationships, the outcomes associated with the danger of a lack of pre-
marital and marital counseling preparation in pastoral counseling and a personal application. As
a result, readers will obtain a better initial understanding of pre-marital and marital counseling in
a pastoral environment.
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A Definition of Pre-Marital and Marital Counseling
Previously, this student understood A Definition of Pre-Marital and Marital Counseling as
counseling within a pastoral environment provides couples with God-centered biblical principles
in which to build and maintain their marriage. The example of marriage utilized in both pre-
marital and marital counseling is the story of Adam and Eve. Adam was the first husband and
Eve was the first wife who God formed from Adams rib. The story of Adam and Eve starts off
blissful and then takes a turn for the worse. Pre-marital and marital counseling provide couples
with biblical tools and techniques that will prevent marriages from taking a turn for the worse as
well as biblical tools and techniques that will help couples whose marriage has taken a turn for
the worst to become blissful again. This entails keeping God front and center, developing an
understanding of God’s purpose for marriage and how marriage should resemble Christ’s
relationship with the Church as well as an understanding that marriage is not only a covenant
with each other but also a covenant with God. Couples pray and read scripture together, learn
how to communicate and problem solve in a loving manner as well as how to forgive as God
forgives. Couples are taught the biblical way to make good decisions, handle finances, engage in
sex, resolve conflicts and disagreements, how to communicate in a loving manner, how to handle
friends and in-laws as well as parenting skills. Pre-marital and marital counseling can be a long
and tedious process for counselors as well as for couples; however, the willingness and
dedication it takes to put in the work produces a successful outcome.
This student’s understanding of A Definition of Pre-Marital and Marital Counseling has
increased to understand that “God created each person to be different, and to deny that
uniqueness leads only to pretense, not partnership” (Parrott and Parrott, 156). Authenticity of
oneself is something couples should embrace about themselves as well as each other. Ignoring
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who we really are to please one’s partner only leads to resentment, discontentment and
eventually a troubled marriage. Parrott and Parrott state “it must be that partners without a
spiritual depth of oneness can never compete with the fullness of love that soul mates enjoy”
(Parrott and Parrott, 161). Parrott and Parrott discuss “three classic disciplines of the spiritual
life call soulmates to move beyond surface living into the depths: worship, service and prayer”
(Parrott and Parrott, 166). It is important for couples to worship, serve and pray together to
receive the fullness of these spiritual disciplines in their marriage. This
A Place of Pre-Marital and Marital Counseling in General Life
A place for pre-marital and marital counseling in general life is in decision making,
conflict resolution, and communication just to name a few. Pre-marital and marital counseling is
designed to provide couples with biblical tools and techniques to utilize not only for marriage but
in general life as well. Throughout the Bible and throughout life Christians often witness God
using one tool or one situation for multiple purposes. Pre-marital and marital counseling happen
to be no different. This in no way takes away from the God-centered focus of marriage and what
God intended marriage to be.
A Place of Pre-Marital and Marital Counseling in Pastoral Ministry
A place for pre-marital and marital counseling in pastoral ministry is weaved
throughout the entire ministry and biblical experience. Pre-marital and marital counseling are
determining factors as to whether a marriage survives. The institution of marriage is grounded in
the foundational truths of the word of God just as pastoral ministry is grounded in the
foundational truths of the word of God. Pre-marital and marital counseling is derived from
pastoral ministry and otherwise would not exist.
A Place of Pre-Marital and Marital Counseling in Marriage Relationships
Pre-marital and marital counseling plays an essential part in marriage relationships. God-
centered biblical tools and techniques couples learn in counseling sessions act as a guide in
marriage relationships. Typically, if one person neglects to utilize these tools and techniques
properly, usually the other spouse can diffuse the situation by reminding them of the biblical way
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the matter should be handled. There is a reason why pre-marital and marital counseling is not
successful if only one engaged person or one spouse attends. God created marriage to be
between one man and one woman, therefore one is responsible for holding the other one up if
they lose their way.
The Danger of a Lack of Pre-Marital and Marital Counseling preparation in Pastoral
Counseling
When engaged couples or married couples refuse to attend pre-marital and marital
counseling in a pastoral environment, they are showing God they do not need guidance and
instruction from the One who is the creator of marriage. Therefore, God will not intervene
where He is not welcome. Couples that don’t attend pre-marital and marital counseling are sure
to have failed marriages. They are not joined together by God so there is no other outcome
possible. They are sure to experience marital trials and tribulation until or unless they invite God
to be in the center of their relationship.
Personal Application
I am a divorced single mom who was married for 11 years. I have a 12-year-old son. My
marriage was God-centered for me but for my ex-husband. No matter how hard I tried to honor
my commitment to God, He continued to show me that things were not going to work out.
Therefore, when God created a way of escape for my son and I, I immediately took advantage of
the opportunity. I have been divorced for 8 years and do not really date. This time, I have no
problem waiting on God’s choice for me and my son.
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