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Mental Health Professional
Shanasia Freeman
Liberty University
DBMF 405-B01: Divorce. Remarriage & Blended Family
Professor Ginger Knapp
June 21, 2021
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Mental Health Professional
Mental health by definition is a state of well-being in which an individual realizes his or
her own abilities, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively and is able to
make a contribution to his or her society. There are a plethora of entities that can cause one to
seek out assistance from a mental health professional. Childhood traumas such as physical or
mental abuse, neglect, social disadvantages to include poverty, isolation, bereavement and even
the loss of a job. However, one of the entities I will be focusing on in this paper, is the mental
health occurrences surrounding divorce and the blended family. In light of gaining a better
understanding and getting first-hand knowledge on the effects on the mental health divorce can
cause, I conducted an interview with a mental health professional. Being an active-duty Sailor I
have the resources to counseling and therapy upon request. On Monday I have the opportunity to
interview Dr. Sheila Bryant a health professional at the Fleet and Family services building on
Naval Station Norfolk. Dr. Bryant specializes in an array of family mental health services and is
actively involved in counseling divorced and remarried couples and blended families in my local
Hampton Roads area.
Divorce can take a toll on a family as it is both mentally and physically demanding. For
adults, divorce can even take a toll on the families’ finances. For children and adults alike, to
assist with navigating the rollercoaster course of divorce, therapy and/or counseling can be
sought to cope with the various emotions of divorce and essentially assist in surviving divorce.
Dr. Bryant has been in this type of practice for over fifteen years and states that “she enjoys
helping families recover in all aspects of their lives,” whether from pre-divorce, during divorce
and post-divorce Dr. Bryant teaches families how to effectively communicate, civically while
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they experience all of the factors that accompany divorce. In some cases, Dr. Bryant stated that
when families seek counseling, they realize one of two things: the first being that they do not
want to go through with the divorce and the second being that they are better off with the divorce
and counseling makes the process much smoother, more than either party could have ever
imagined.
Why Families Decide on Divorce?
In society we hear about divorces frequent. From a personal standpoint, when I hear that
relatives or close friends have gotten divorce or in pursuit of one, I immediately wonder why?
However, I like to not pry into people’s business, so those wanders remain thoughts, not
questions asked. During this interview, that was my first question to Dr. Bryant. What are some
of the reasons you have seen families attest are the cause for divorce? What drives them to that
point? According to statistics, the most common reason for divorce is people deciding to get
divorced due to a lack of commitment that results in infidelity and can lead up to irreconcilable
differences. Dr. Bryant exclaimed that there are several reasons she witnessed families say is the
reason they decide on divorce. One reason she stated is that some people rush into marriage,
without fully getting to know the other person; and end up not being equally yoked. The bible
conveys, “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness
with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?,” (New King James Version Bible.
1982, 2 Corinthians. 6:14). When couples are not equally yoked, they have different expectations
of what the marriage should present, they have different beliefs with causes each party to be
unequal. Dr. Bryant dealing with a lot of military families says that distance from deployments or
distance from taking unaccompanied orders creates a void that tends to push people to divorce.
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She also stated that couples in the military have to deal with the side effects of PTSD, which she
has seen causes tension, incessant arguing, and leads to a lack of intimacy. From this interview I
have gathered that Dr. Bryant has counseled those from all different walks of life, and reasons for
divorce vary on a very broad spectrum. The most common challenges saw in the first three
months by Dr. Bryant is “custody of the children, who gets the children, who’s picking up the
kids today, things of that sort.” (Bryant, 2021).
Good & Bad Effects of Divorce
“Someone has described divorce as “the forever funeral,” as it causes not only adults’
grave pain but children as well. (Hart, 1997). I asked Dr. Bryant what effect did divorce have on
the couples she counseled as well as the children from their union? She stated that divorces,
when not handled in the right manner with affective communication, fully keeping children in
the loop of explaining everything to them and not being compassionate of a child’s feelings
could be detrimental for both parties to include the children. During the interview, Dr. Bryant
said one of the reasons she enjoys her job most is because she’s able to guide people in making
the right decisions, whether it be the right choice of words, or encouraging her clients to
understand someone else’s feelings, all in effort to help them navigate life better but in this
instance divorce specifically. Dr. Bryant said that she’s witnessed a lot of good come from
divorces due to the marriage being toxic or the couples involved just no longer making each
other happy. I also asked if she could give account to the instances when couples remarry and
have children from their previous marriage how did the families adapt. Her response was due to
the nature of her clients, she has experienced a lot of instances where couples remarry, and they
conjoin their families together with the new spouse and their children. “A stepfamily is created
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when an adult with a child (or children) couples with another adult who is not the parent of those
children. Beyond this basic definition, stepfamilies come in many forms. All of them face these
challenges,” (Papernow, 2013). Dr. Bryant said that most of the adult couples initially felt a sense
of guilt as they embarked on creating a new family and/or stepfamily, with someone else, and not
living in the same household as their children. “The biggest adjustment that I’ve noticed from
patients is not living in the same household and not use to the isolation of being a separate entity
from the household you’ve always known,” (Bryant, 2021). However, overtime, both children
and adults become accustomed to the blended family and have healthy relationships and
environments. I concluded from the interview that although divorce has a negative connotation,
and that there are negative effects of divorce, some good can also come from divorce in the same
token, resources such as counseling, like Dr. Bryant provides and strategies as presented in Dr.
Hart’s Helping Children Survive Divorce: What to Expect; How to Help. If marriage does not
work out the first time, remarriage is an option.
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References
Hart, A.D., (1997). Helping Children Survive Divorce: What to Expect; How to Help. Thomas
Nelson
Papernow, P.L., (2013). Surviving and Thriving in Stepfamily Relationships. New York, N.Y.
Routledge Taylor & Francis Group
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Interview with Dr. Sheila Bryant
Q: From you experience, what are some of the most prevalent reasons couples divorce?
A: “There are a wide range of reasons couples divorce, from infidelity, different views and/or
beliefs, irreconcilable differences.”
Q: What are the most common challenges you see in the first three months following separation?
A: “The most common challenges you see in the first three months following separation is
custody of the children, who gets the children this weekend, who’s picking the kids up
today,, things of that sort.”
Q: Do you recommend temporary separation as a technique in helping keep couples married?
Why or why not?
A: “In some cases couples who start the process of separation, and seek counseling find out that
they don’t want to go through with a divorce at all.”
Q: What are the biggest adjustments couples have to make during separation? Divorce?
Remarriage?
A: The biggest adjustment that I’ve noticed from patients is not living in the same household and
not use to the isolation of being a separate entity from the household you’ve always known.”
Q: When and how do you tend to see the effects of divorce manifest in children?
A: “Children are greatly affected by divorce and the effects are usually manifested in their
behavior. Children tend to act out due to not knowing how to cope with what they are
internalizing.”
Q: What are the most difficult adjustments you see in two families coming together?
A: “It takes time for two families to come together and break out of their “norm” from the past.”
Q: How do you counsel divorced individuals with kids to begin dating again? What do you
recommend for? that process?
A: “I counsel them with the same due diligence as all my patients. Although each session is
different, I approach it them all with the same open-mind and level of understanding. I
recommend all involved taking time to get to know each other. Blending a family takes
times.”
Q: What common mistakes do you see being made?
A: “Lack of effective communication.”
Q: What is your personal theology of divorce and remarriage?
A: “I personally believe that people deserve to be happy. If one marriage did not work out there
is always hope for another.”
Q: How does it fit with what you see and experience in your practice?
A: “Sometimes divorce is what’s best for a family if done in good will. Remarrying often times
