Running head: FAMILY GENOGRAM 1
Family Genogram
Sylvia D. Skinner
FAMILY GENOGRAM 2
Family Genogram
My father, James Sr., was born in Georgia in 1930 out of wedlock. He was raised by his
grandmother and step-father. He did not know his biological mother or his biological father. He
attended college and only had four months left to graduate when he ran to Connecticut to escape
the deep roots of racism and hatred. He feared for his life after staying past the midnight curfew
visiting a lady friend. His plan was to be a medical doctor.
My mother was born in Florida. She was raised in a single family home. She moved to
Georgia in her early twenties to work in the home of the Reynold’s family as their cook and
housekeeper. This is the same Reynold’s family that owned the Reynold’s foil company. She had
met my father in Georgia and followed him to Connecticut. She got pregnant with my oldest
brother, James, Jr. and they got married. She then had my sister, Deborah, followed by two more
boys, Van and Norman, and then myself. She only completed the fifth grade.
College was important to my father. He was intellectually and academically smart. He
never finished college and worked the rest of his life in a factory until he died at the age of 62.
He died one year after his retirement. My father was a heavy drinker and smoker. He died of lung
cancer at 63 years old. My mother also worked in a factory all my life until she died. My mother
was 84 years old when she died of natural causes. She also was a heavy drinker and a casual
smoker.
My mother had two children out of wedlock as a young teenager. The first time she got
pregnant at sixteen she didn’t understand what had happened. She had another child a year later
at seventeen from a different boy. My mother did not explain about pregnancy or menstruation or
anything about sexuality. I found out about periods after I had received it at 10 years old. Had to
ask my mom, what was this? My sister said she did the same thing and asked my mother for a
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band aid. My sister and I got pregnant at the same time. I thought my mother would have an
understanding since she got pregnant herself as an unmarried teen. But she insisted I got married
to the boy. He was seventeen and soon to be eighteen. So we got married. My sister was
nineteen and I was fifteen when we got pregnant. She had a miscarriage, but I gave birth to my
son at sixteen. My sister had several abortions after that first miscarriage. One and half years
later I got pregnant again, but had an abortion due to marital issues and infidelity.
The history of my mother, my sister and myself show a pattern of the same behavior. None of us
was educated or understood about sex. At one time in my life I didn’t believe in abortion,
however, it became a socially acceptable event in the seventies. I decided it was no big deal at
the time. I don’t feel that way now, because abortion is a big deal.
My oldest brothers, James Jr. and Van, and sister Debbie, were heavily into drugs. I
myself was a heavy drinker until my conversion to true Christianity in 1985. The history of
heavy drinking, drugs and destructive lives was a pattern in my family. We all were working
alcoholics and/or addicts. I don’t remember a time when nobody didn’t work in my family
including my brothers and my sister. My father never took time off from work and neither did
my mother. But we drank together all weekend long and even during the week, often going to
work with a hangover. I don’t believe my oldest brother or sister are doing drugs anymore. I
can’t be sure, but I don’t think so. Van I don’t know what he is doing.
The man I married ended up being a crack head. My sister introduced him to drugs. He
went to rehab several times including a Christian rehab which seemed to have the best results.
My brother, Norman, was never on drugs. He got saved as to teenager in high school. My son
Yusuf, never drank, smoked or took drugs. I believe he never did these things because he was
introduced and saved at 14 years old. He is married, but separated. No children. He would like to
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reconcile with his wife. She is an immigrant from Ethiopia. He married her in Ethiopia and it
took five years to get her to the United States. They were married and living together for five
years and then separated.
My sister had been raped by my half-brother when she was about twelve. However the
hate she developed for him didn’t come until way in her adult life, henceforth the line showing
the hatred towards him. Prior to that they used to do cocaine together. I don’t know what happen
to estrange them. I was molested by the same brother at seventeen. My husband had joined the
Marine Corp and was in boot camp at the time. I believe it was a case of my half-brother being
much older than me and being an authority figure.
My mother had been married and divorced before she married my father. I don’t know
much about her first husband. My brother Bernard was married and divorced to the same women
twice. My other brother Norman was married and divorced five times. I was married and
divorced to the same man twice. There is a pattern of divorce in my family. My other brother and
sister were never married.
The history of this family shows a lot of dysfunctional behavior. It also shows resilience.
My family has demonstrated resilience and are able to thrive and show stability even through the
things traumas and hurts we’ve experienced (Goldenberg & Goldenberg, 2013). Through the
drugs, drinking and divorces, our nuclear family stayed intact. Even though there were times of
disagreements, anger and disappointments in each other. There has been forgiveness and
restoration. My mother started taken me to church when I was about twelve years old, I loved
going to church. However, as I got older, my interest changed. My father believed in God, but he
also believed in evolution.
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The change in our family dynamics really started when at twenty-eight years old I got
saved. My Christianity played the biggest and most important changed in my life. The desire for
drinking, boyfriends and even smoking had gone. For me, it wasn’t a matter of quitting, it was a
deliverance. God had taken the desires away from me with no withdrawals. My life completely
turned around. My family was able to see my spiritual walk consistently for the last thirty-one
years. They see my son being the only grandchild and nephew who has not ever smoked, drink or
gone to jail. He has no children out of wedlock. He’s made his mistakes and will make more, but
I am very proud of him. However, he has made some terrible decisions by deciding to allow his
wife to have an abortion while she was still in Ethiopia. He had come back to the states and she
told him she was pregnant. He and his wife have lost two children through abortion. I had
wanted so much to be a grandmother. The lost is devastating. He had never known of my
abortion. My ex-husband decided to tell him after we found out about his. We both were
distraught, however I let him know that I love him and not to ever have an abortion again. I
believe the abortion is connected to him and his wife’s separation. She felt that he didn’t want a
child from her. The decision we make can destroy the life of another. This is part of the reason
I’m going into counseling. I want to help the healing of the brokenhearted.
Many churches have broken and hurting women that really feel they have no one they
can talk to or that will understand them. I plan to start an abortion support group at my church to
help women suffering from the effects of abortion. My own abortion and the abortion of women
I know is the catalyst for this group. I have completed “Surrendering the Secret’ abortion support
program and will use this program to help other women (Layton, P. (2013). The secret is out and
I plan on telling as many people as I can the trauma associated with abortion. My sister had five
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abortions and my hope is to connect with her and determine how those abortions are effecting
her and help her through the healing process.
From the genogram you can see that God is first in my life and going to church is very
important to me. I have a very close friend, Ann, who is my spiritual mentor. She continues to
mentor me and teach me how to minister to women. I have indicated her on my genogram.
Everything in my life centers around Jesus Christ who is my God. What I need to learn more
about is how to integrate my Christianity with therapy. I believe that I am receiving a great
foundation from Liberty University, however I need practice in applying what I’m learning.
What I will continue to do is enjoy my life. I have seen people get so involved in church
and in other people that they neglect themselves. I have learned to balance my life by doing the
things I enjoy. My son and I are very close. He visits with me frequently and I enjoy vacationing
with him. He works for the airline, so we can take off and go to any country for very little cost
and sometimes free for him. I also enjoy cruising, which is also indicated on my genogram.
Conclusion
I learned a few things in creating this genogram and writing the narrative. I learned how
the actions and dynamics of a family can be a result of past experiences from parents. Such as
the children out of wedlock. Not understanding sexuality. The drinking and drugs becoming a
norm that the whole family shared together. By introducing my son to Christianity he avoided
some of the pitfalls that other family members fell prey to. Also by my family seeing my
example of Christianity, they have better lives free from drugs and alcohol, except for the one
brother I’m not sure of. We will be having a sibling reunion in Connecticut on May 14, 2016 at a
gospel concert my older brother, Bernard, is promoting. We are resilient.
