Abstract
This paper utilizes a personal interview with a friend to discuss and learn about unique attributes of a
cultural group, specifically members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS), commonly
known as Mormons). This paper looks at the experiences of my friend as she discusses formative
moments in her life as they pertain to her membership in the LDS church, and talks about observations
made that I did not recognize previously. This is then discussed in context of the Gracism text by
Anderson. This paper is written from the perspective of aiding one’s ability to learn about a cultural
minority that is unfamiliar to them, and develop multicultural competencies to successfully counsel
diverse people groups.
Personal Interview
For this assignment, I interviewed a friend of mine, “Molly”. Molly and I have been close friends
for about three years now, and we have talked frequently about our faiths, me as an Evangelical and her
as a Latter-day Saint, which is what inspired me to learn more about her faith from a personal
perspective as opposed to a more academic perspective as I have in the past. Molly is a 22-year-old
white woman who has been a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints for her entire
life. Her mother and siblings have always been members, but her father did not convert to the church
until she was eight. She has lived in Washington most of her life, but did do her undergraduate studies at
a church-owned university, Brigham Young University. She currently serves in her church as the Relief
Society president of her ward (the term for an individual group of members). Relief Society is the
women’s organization of the church (“Molly”, personal communication, December 09, 2023).
The first question asked is “when did you realize you were different from your peers, specifically
due to your faith?” Molly shared a memory of attending a Christian school growing up. Prior to this, she
thought she was just another Christian, but during a choir concert, she realized that she was asked to
sing a song about the Trinity, something her faith rejects (“Molly”, personal communication, December
09, 2023). She expressed that in that moment was the first time she realized that her faith was not “the
norm”. A subsequent experience she shared in response to this question was the events precipitating her
removal from the school. It became evident that her teacher had a distaste for Latter-day Saints and was
vocal about that belief. This was Molly’s first experience with discrimination, and a significant one that
was clear brought her some pain, even fifteen years later.
Molly shared about an extremely pivotal cultural experience in her life—her first time attending
the LDS temple. While Latter-day Saints can attend the LDS temples for limited, specific reasons as youth,
they must be adults to go through the full temple experience, a moment that many look forward to, but
hear little about. “Each Latter-day Saint who participates in the endowment has a uniquely personal
experience which, because of the sacred nature of the temple, is seldom discussed or shared with
another in any detail” (Buerger, 1987). This suspense for years of a young Latter-day Saint’s childhood
brings anticipation, Molly shared, and it is deeply formative to the spiritual formation in her life, and in
her peers.
Another experience that is deeply formative to a young Latter-day Saint is their patriarchal
blessings. Latter-day Saints receive their patriarchal blessing at a similar age as their first time going
completely through the temple, Molly told me. The patriarchal blessing is a personal revelation by God
through a church leader. They receive just one patriarchal blessing, that is meant to guide the individual’s
life. This is not meant to be shared with anyone, not even religious leadership, except for immediate
family.
As I listened to Molly share her experiences, I felt this secondhand pressure. Emotionally, I felt
this weight of so much to do within the church. There is the temple, there’s going on a mission, there is
several nights a week where you are involved in church things. I asked Molly about that, and she said
while she feels pressure, it’s not a negative thing for her. It’s more of a commitment that she has freely
chosen and enjoys choosing. That didn’t stop me from feeling that pressure myself. I believe that this
was my response because as a low-church Protestant, I don’t have a reference for that commitment. The
Western church is very me-focused, and a lot of us don’t spend 4 nights a week doing something church-
related. The thought of my life being completely intertwined with my church is something that I envied,
but I still felt the secondhand pressure.
Being that Molly and I are good friends, our interview went down rabbit holes that didn’t seem
particularly pertinent to this paper. Funny enough, those parts were the most impactful to me,
personally. It became apparent that despite disagreements we may have in theology, Molly truly wants
to pursue Jesus. I heard stories of being ostracized from Christians because of her belief. Regardless of
whether she is doctrinally correct or not, I could not help but feel for her and the pain she has
experienced. I also observed the deep commitment to faith that the LDS tradition has. We talked about
how for her and her peers, it is not a half-in, half-out kind of thing. And finally, I learned about potential
pinch points that could lead to pain in her context. She told me that the high expectations to look perfect
and do perfect things (especially in Utah, where Mormonism is most prominent) can result in burnout
for her group. This is extremely useful information when counseling LDS individuals. Additionally, Molly
shared that her peers want to find therapists, but they also want someone who understands their
culture. Their faith is not a small part of who they are, and so they seek out the limited number of LDS
therapists around them. This demonstrates a high priority for them of being understood, and that they
see themselves as quite culturally distinct from others.
The Gracism saying that most sticks out to me as applicable to this people group is “I will honor
you” (Anderson, 2023). So much dishonor has been given and expressed to Latter-day Saints, that Molly
has shared several times how good it feels to her that I just listen and don’t ostracize her for her belief.
Anderson talks about sitting with those who lack honor. He says “In our fast-paced world, the ministry of
sitting with people may be the most powerful ministry of all” (Anderson, 2023, p.91). It appears to me
that Latter-day Saints have experienced a lack of people willing to sit with them. Quite simply, I can be a
gracist by simply sitting with Latter-day Saints, hearing their stories, without any motives of converting or
anything of the sort.
Summary
Something I did not realize is how much we have in common. In the previous paper for this class,
I learned a lot about the differences between our faiths. But I didn’t realize how much this group just
wants to pursue Jesus. Rich Mouw, expert in LDS-Evangelical dialogue and an esteemed Evangelical
scholar, said this upon observing an LDS scholar tearing up as he sang a common Protestant hymn:
Were the words that the LDS scholar was singing informed by his desire to become his own
“god”? Or did his personal experience of what it took for him to be reconciled to God the Father
“mean” that he looked forward to the eschatological posture of kneeling in praise and adoration
at the “glorified throne,” in gratitude for “hands pierced and bleeding to pay the debt”? I choose
the latter interpretation with considerable confidence, with the conviction that a person’s piety
is often a better test of his faith in God than are his theological formulations. (Mouw, 2016)
After the interview, I realized that my friend, and those around her, are a lot more “normal” than people
make them out to be. She is doing her best to follow Jesus in her own expression.
Conversely, I did see many of the same differences from the first paper, show up here. She talked
about doctrinal differences, the heavy workload, and the tight family values that perhaps are more
foreign to me. Those were still present, they were just de-mystified.
Something new I learned was how normal my friend’s faith is. This was quite surprising, as I have been
taught that the LDS Church is a cult. I knew beforehand that her faith doesn’t meet my personal
definition of a cult, but it was shocking how normal her faith experience was. Another new piece of
information is that her story isn’t as marked by discrimination as I thought. I stereotyped her faith into
being full of discrimination (and make no mistake, the last paper taught me a lot about the
discrimination her faith has had historically), but for her personally, there are a few key moments, but it
is not something she considers frequently.
Three things that changed me starts with the fact that I have more of a heart for LDS folks.
Hearing my friend share her story, I wanted to learn more and more. Her faith is familiar but certainly
not orthodox, and it is intriguing, and I want to know more. Second, I was humbled as I thought I knew a
lot about her faith, and she reminded me (through the conversation, not directly) that I am an outsider
and I only know the book stuff, not the lived stuff. Lastly, I became more appreciative of our differences,
as she shared facets of her faith that I wish mine adopted (like not having the cultural expectation that a
crying baby is to leave the chapel).
Three things that I could take from this people group and apply to others is first, people are less
weird than you probably think. While I’d be remiss to say Latter-day Saints are orthodox in their belief, a
lot of things said about them are satirized and embellished. I think it is unfamiliarity that makes us wary
of others and capable of dehumanizing them. There is an old radio clip that I saw a video of, where a
man shares how he hated black people until he served in Vietnam with one, who by happenstance hated
white people. Eventually, their close proximity eroded the false beliefs about each other and it came to
pass that the black man married the white woman’s sister, and they became best friends. I think that is
applicable here.
Another thing to take away is cultural groups are complex. I have learned so much about Latter-
day Saints, but I have not a hope in the world to claim that I am an expert. I have never gone through the
temple, received a patriarchal blessing, or been told by my pastor (they call them “bishops”) that
because of my ongoing sin, I am not worthy of going to the temple at this point, and to come back in
three months. My knowledge is fairly surface level academic. Likewise, other cultural groups can be
studied and learned about, but I can never live as a black man, or experience what a disabled person
experiences (unless I become disabled down the road, of course).
Lastly, I took a moment after the interview to consider how much I did not know about my
friend. We’ve been good friends for several years. We have even talked about our faiths, yet I heard
stories she had never shared with me before. When counseling other cultural groups, I think one can
remember that there are stories that they may never tell other people. Some of that is just the nature of
counseling, but specifically from a multicultural perspective, perhaps that interview was the only time
someone ever cared about my friend’s stories. All her LDS friends probably have similar stories and don’t
care to listen, and most non-LDS people don’t want to hear, but my interview gave her a medium to
share significant moments in her childhood. Likewise, in counseling, counseling can allow the person to
share significant moments that nobody else cares to listen to.
References
Anderson, D. A. (2023). Gracism: The art of inclusion. Intervarsity Press
Buerger, D.J. (1987) The Development of the Mormon Temple Endowment Ceremony. Dialogue: A
Journal of Mormon Thought. 20 (4): 33–76. https://doi.org/10.2307/45228107
Mouw, R. J. (2016, May 1). Mormons approaching orthodoxy. First Things.
https://www.firstthings.com/article/2016/05/mormons-approaching-orthodoxy
Powered by TCPDF (www.tcpdf.org)
