FAMILY GENOGRAM
Family Genogram
Thalia Aparicio
School of Counseling, Liberty University
Author Note
Thalia Aparicio
I have no known conflict of interest to disclose.
Correspondence concerning this article should be addressed to Thalia Aparicio
Email: tisobalvarro@liberty.edu
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FAMILY GENOGRAM
Abstract
A genogram is an image of a person’s family relationships and cultural history. Culture is the
base of a family genogram. A genogram has assisted many counselors to represent and
understand families and their inner workings.
Keywords: family, culture, relationship
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Family Genogram
Part I
A genogram is a present-day family tree that is used by many professionals to get a
deeper understanding of a family. A genogram can track cultural history, medical issues, family
patterns, and social contexts. A genogram can start as small as the first three generations. As
McGoldrick et al. (2008) states, individuals are part of this powerful structure that can explain so
much of who we became and why we ended up at a certain place. Our gender, biology, birth
order, and environment shape our personalities and functioning. Both my paternal and maternal
grandparents were born in Central America. My paternal grandparents were born in Nicaragua.
They found each other when they were teenagers, married soon, and had 4 children at a young
age. My father followed that same pattern as he married his first wife and had two children with
her. My father then migrated to the United States of America to look for a better life. In
Nicaragua, my father was emotionally abused by his father. It was so bad that he made a quick
decision to marry and join the military to get away from his home. When he finished his service
in Nicaragua, he landed in Los Angeles, California, where he met my mother. My maternal
grandparents are from El Salvador. They also married and had 9 children at a young age. My
mother spent most of her life with her grandparents since she got separated from her mother very
young. There was a war going on in El Salvador, and her mother knew she would be in a safe
environment with her grandmother. Once she turned 18, my mother followed some of her
siblings to California. She also came here for a better, safer, and financially beneficial life. She
then met my father at a friend’s party. Soon after, I was conceived and born. My parents
struggled financially. They were young, first-time parents in a big foreign city. My parents would
work as waiters or house cleaners, while I stayed with a family friend (I referred to her as my
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grandmother). Although there were times when they were asking family for money for my
diapers and formula, they always found a way to make me happy. I have many beautiful
memories and pictures of my parents taking me to the park or grabbing a cheeseburger at Carlos’
Jr. Two years later, we moved to Burlington, NC. From my childhood perspective, life got better.
My parents and I had our own place, where we made more memories, and they threw family
parties occasionally. I remember dancing and laughing with my cousins and other children. My
mom had the majority of her siblings in town, and my father had one sister in town. We would
often get together on the weekends and cook out and spend time together. With time, I saw that
my mother would have many conflicts with her siblings. She transitioned from having a close
bond to each other them, to currently only talking to a couple of them. My aunts would bicker
about land that my grandparents owned, and my father would always be stuck in the middle. My
sister came along, and the boy my father always wanted. Then my youngest sister, who was a
surprise, came to be the last sibling born. When my first sister was born, I was completely happy,
as my only child days were gone. We eventually got along, and I became super protective of her.
I had a more maternal love for my younger siblings. I was more aware of their growth and
milestones and referred to them as my babies. My mother was raised catholic and brought that
into her own family. As a rebellious teenager, I felt forced to attend church. That affected my
adulthood, as I saw the Catholic church in a negative light. Since I was the firstborn, my parents
were learning how to become parents and were very strict. I remember there were various times
that communication was lacking. In a Hispanic household, if things are not done as soon as they
are demanded, you will get in trouble. There was not a lot of patience, high expectations for
education, and no belief in mental health. With time, I witnessed my parents become more
lenient with every sibling. At first, I was very jealous and confused that my younger siblings
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were getting away with so much when I had to deal with so many consequences. But I came to
learn that that is the way it should have always been. My family is not perfect. To this day, I get
calls when there are arguments and disagreements, and they look to me to be the mediator. In my
marriage, I have regrated certain responses or ways of thinking when it comes to my husband. I
often yelled and had no time to see his perspective. I am still learning every day to communicate
effectively with him and in my friendships. We do not have kids and we are not sure if we will.
One thing I am sure of is that I will advocate for communication, mental health, and autonomy to
those in my life.
Part II
After reviewing the genogram, I was reminded of how courageous my parents, aunts, and
uncles were to come to this country for a better life. They left a familiar environment and their
loving family to make a better life of their own. They were persistent with their plan and never
gave up. They came here not knowing any English and having no more than middle school
education, and now they are business owners and proud American citizens. With all the financial
issues they underwent, and the stress that came with it, my parents belonged to the statistic of not
being married before kids. My parents had roommates and family come in and out of where they
stayed.
When I graduated from college in 2015, I got my own apartment. I slowly started to
realize how the real world works when it comes to bills and responsibilities. Now, having my
own house and marriage, I understand why my parents had certain reactions. My parents would
get angry with me if they asked me to clean the living room or take the meat out of the freezer
and I would forget to do it. I did not have a good justification, and I did not understand why it
was such a big deal. Now I see that after a long and stressful day of work, it would be nice to
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come home to the plates being put away. My parents should have communicated this to me, and I
remind them to talk to my siblings and not just yell and assume they understand where they are
coming from. My mom was responsible for a lot of her household chores when she was younger.
My grandfather communicated with my father by hitting and yelling. I remember there were
times when my father would get mad and want to react the only way he knew how to, hitting and
yelling. My mother would keep things that her children would from my dad to avoid him getting
angry. When he was at this boiling point, my mother would stop him and tell him to take a deep
breath.
As with any family, we have had interruptions in our family lifecycle. I was diagnosed
with hip dysplasia when I was 1 year old and lupus when I was 15. My little brother had
pneumonia, and my youngest sister had hip dysplasia as well, but they were able to catch it in
time for it not to affect her life. My mother lost her grandparents within a year of each other, and
most recently we lost a family friend and my paternal grandmother. Losing someone so close to
you puts life into perspective. My mother used to reach out to me daily, but after those losses, I
would reach out to her more. My father has always been quiet, and then I noticed he started
texting me more. My sister was diagnosed with kidney disease this past year, and it impacted our
family since we started supporting her more emotionally and financially. As we get older, we
have grown closer as a family.
Since my husband and I come from a Hispanic household, I see many patterns of
expectations and traditions. We have compared issues such as lack of communication and
genders being treated differently. In both our families, the men are told not to show emotion. My
mother has always told my father it is acceptable to cry and show emotions. I have only seen my
father cry once when he lost his mother. It is the same with my husband. There are patterns of
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alcoholism on both sides of our families, especially on the extended sides of the family. Both of
our parents migrated to the United States to look for a better life. Both of our parents witnessed
war and natural disasters in their country of origin. There are patterns of miscarriages and also
having a large family. Both of us have experienced losing our grandparents, and our parents tell
us it is because of the lack of resources Central America has. There have been secrets from the
men in our family that involve being unfaithful or inappropriate with women. It has mostly been
heard from the older generation.
As I mentioned before, I need to work on my communication. I tend to shut down when I
am upset or angry. I need to be better at expressing that I need space before I am ready to talk
about an issue. If I think something is not a big deal, I tend to not even bring it up and “get over
it” quickly. I also need to understand that not everyone who is in the wrong, knows that they are
in the wrong. In the same way that there should have been patience and understanding in my
household growing up, I want to give that to people in my life and my clients. As a nuclear
family, we experienced emotional distance, impairment with the children, and marital conflict
(McGoldrick et al., 2007). I want to avoid the intensity of these problems and want to promote
self-care and reach out if you need help. I want my relationships to be open. I do not want to feel
like I have to keep things inside, not be myself, or second guess myself, especially in my
marriage and in my profession.
It was difficult to complete this genogram. It brought up a lot of past memories with my
childhood. When I interviewed my parents, they mentioned a lot of the good times but did not
dare mention bad memories such as the anger or marital issues. I can see how completing a
genogram can be a sensitive subject for a client. It was a reminder of why I grew up to be the
person I was and how much I have changed for the better.
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References
McGoldrick, M., Gerson, R., & Petry, S. S. (2008). Genograms: Assessment and intervention.
New York: W.W. Norton & Co.
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