COMS 560
JOURNAL ACTIVITIES TEMPLATE
Journal Activity 1
In the table below, the left-hand column contains sets of communication expressions that indicate
conflict from a particular metaphorical position. In the column on the right, follow the italics
example in set 1 by filling in the blanks underneath “Metaphor for Conflict.” Be sure to identify:
1) Where the scene of the conflict is.
2) Who the participants are.
3) Who must win the battle and by what method?
4) What is the outcome/purpose of the conflict?
Communication Expressions Metaphor for Conflict
Set 1:
Your actions are completely indefensible. He
attacked me where I was most vulnerable – my
kids. That criticism is right on target. Okay, shoot!
Accusations were hurled back and forth. I just
retreat. I fall back and regroup. Then I wait for an
opening. He slaughters me when I cry and get
confused. When I don’t want it to come to blow
(laughs), I launch a diversionary attack, like telling
him the kids are calling me.
WAR
The scene for conflict is a battlefield. The
participants in the discussion are warriors who
must win the battle. Nothing falls short of “killing”
or reducing the effectiveness of the opponent. The
purpose or outcome is inevitably a reduction of
players, harm, desire for vengeance and a
repetition of the battle.
Set 2:
He’s about to blow up. Any little thing will set him
off. Larry’s got a short fuse. The pressure’s
building up so fast that something’s gotta give
soon! I just need to let off steam. She is really
pushing my buttons.
EXPLOSION
The conflict happens at work. The participants are
the nagging boss and the overworked employee.
The conflict must be solved by both sides by letting
go of their anger and talking about what each of
them thinks about the situation. The outcome of the
conflict is that both parties had let go of their anger
and reconciled after understanding each other’s
feelings.
Set 3:
He’s got the best case. The jury’s still out on that
one. You’re accusing me of what? She’s the guilty
party on this one.
TRIAL
The scene of the conflict is trial court. The
participants in the discussion are the accusing and
defending party of the case who must win their
case. Strong evidence and statements must be
presented to win over the opposing party. The
purpose of the conflict is for them to prove their
own innocence.
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Set 4:
I’m on a sinking ship with no lifeboat. I’m
traveling a rocky road. I’m working with a
checkbook that won’t balance.
STRUGGLE
The scene is a counseling room. The participants
are the client and the counselor. The client is telling
the counselor that his life seems like a hopeless
case. The outcome of the conflict is that the client
had adopted a more positive outlook after their
counseling session.
Set 5:
I felt like being “a rowboat caught in a hurricane.
Tornado,
Avalanche
I was swept away,
Like a fire raging out of control.
ACT OF NATURE
The scene is in the morgue. The participants
include a relative and the other person is “death”.
The participant feels overwhelmingly devastated
after learning the death of a family member. The
purpose or outcome is to be able to accept the
unchanging fact that a loved one has died.
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Journal Activity 2
Choose ONE of the following:
Cahn & Abigail 1 Think about it. p. 25, #,3,4,5, (Your essay should be about 1 page in
length.)
Each person possesses his own sets of values, attitudes, principles, ideas, emotions and a
whole lot of other things that may differ from other people. A person being unique in his own
way has an innate tendency to have conflicts with others. Having conflicts regarding one’s own
preference, ideas, or attitudes with other people makes us all the more human. It just shows our
capacity to think for ourselves and decide for ourselves. Having the ability to express our own
thoughts and emotions makes it possible for us to create and strengthen relationships. Conflicts if
viewed properly and handled properly would help us become stronger and wiser individuals. It
is like a double-edged sword that must be handled properly for the bearer not to hurt himself in
the process of wielding it.
It may be difficult for some people to view interpersonal conflicts in a positive way but it
is not impossible. For a person to be able to view it positively, one should be open to taking risks,
and viewing it as opportunities for one’s personal growth, strengthening of relationships, and
finding the best road for the majority. Based on my experience, the conflicts or disagreements
that I have with my wife has always ended up with the both of us coming into terms so that we
can raise our children properly. The outcome would be known that we both have our children’s
best interest at heart and we try to fit our ups and downs together so that we can give the girls
great family life.
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Journal Activity 3
Cahn & Abigail 2 Discuss it. #2 p. 52. Please write out the answer. No discussion group.
The narrative has illustrated the confrontation avoidance/accommodation cycle strategy.
The teacher in the narrative, even though admittedly bothered by the attitude of the student
removing the audiovisual equipment, did his or her best not to engage in immediate conflict and
kept silent. He or she had let it slide out the first two occasions that the student went in and out of
his or her class upon learning that the student’s duty cannot be done in any other time. On the 3rd
time that the student entered the class, the teacher had already been bothered to the limit, hence
he or she now confronted the student and told him to stop coming inside the classroom since
what he was doing was really bothersome.
Journal Activity 4
Cahn & Abigail 3 p. 74 Work With It. #1
A. Internal attribution
B. Internal attribution
C. External attribution
D. Internal attribution
E. External attribution
F. Internal attribution
G. External attribution
H. External attribution
I. Internal attribution
J. Internal attribution
K. External attribution
Journal Activity 5
Cahn & Abigail 4 Apply it p. 102 #4
A. Correctly stated
B. Not stated correctly
C. Correctly stated
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D. Correctly stated
E. Not correctly stated
F. Not correctly stated
G. Correctly stated
H. Correctly stated
I. Correctly stated
J. Not correctly stated
Journal Activity 6
Cahn & Abigail 4 Apply it p. 102 #5
A. Not clearly stated
B. Clearly stated
C. Clearly stated
D. Not clearly stated
E. Clearly stated
F. Clearly stated
G. Not clearly stated
H. Clearly stated
I. Clearly stated
J. Clearly stated
Journal Activity 7
Cahn & Abigail 4 -Apply It - p. 102 #6
I feel exasperated when I have to wait and wait because I hate waiting around and wasting
time. I want to leave at the time we agreed on.
I feel frustrated when I get low marks on my papers because I don’t know what is expected
of me. I would like some help on how to improve my grades.
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I feel angry at myself when we stay out too late and drink too much because I end up feeling
drained and having nasty headaches in the morning. I want to get more sleep and cut
down on my drinking.
I feel frustrated when I am the only one who cleans up this place because it’s not fair to me. I
want to have more time to spend for myself.
I feel afraid when I have to let my daughter go alone somewhere because I always end up
panicking when she can’t pick up my phone calls. I want to be able to breathe easily
whenever she’s away.
I feel saddened when I forget to do my wife’s simple requests because I end up feeling
like a big disappointment. I want to become a great husband to her.
Journal Activity 8
Cahn & Abigail 5 Work with it #1 (no groups) - p. 130 #1-5
1. Conflicts leading to violent acts within the family are a sensitive case to deal with.
One wrong move and it can cause a family to get broken and take separate ways. In
dealing with violent acts by a family member, I would do my best to keep my cool
without being abused. It would be best, in my opinion, to have a proper conversation
with the other family member so that the conflict will be resolved. If matters get out
of hand, I would practice the right discipline and refrain myself from engaging in
violent acts. It would be of help if intermediaries such as lawyers or family
counselors are present in resolving family conflicts if violence is getting out of
control.
2. Violent acts in the workplace could be avoided by being on smart alert all the time.
Being aware and sensitive to one’s surroundings will help us to act and speak without
triggering conflicting reactions from others. On the instance that we see violent acts
to other people inside our workplace, it would be the best for us to contact our higher
ups so that the conflict can be resolved in the right process.
3. While on the road, it is best to keep our temper in check. We should be mindful that
the traffic does not only affect us but other drivers as well. In my case, I also limit
honking whenever I am stuck in a traffic jam because I myself know how frustrating
it is to be honked at even though I can’t do anything myself. If by any chance that
another driver rages at me, even though I did my best to be considerate to everyone,
I’ll keep my cool and remain inside my car instead of talking back and irritating the
raging driver more. If intervention is really needed, I would call the police right away.
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4. When my wife gets jealous, I don’t immediately engage on a defensive conversation.
I realized that it does not work best in situations like this. Instead, I let the air cool
down for a moment and let her evaluate the situation a bit before clearly explaining
the things that she misunderstood. It’s not actually that hard to deal with since she
does listen well when things like this happen. I never use harsh or blaming words on
her; letting her know that I sincerely was sorry that she felt that way is always the
key.
5. Again, instances such as physical violence, verbal violence, or sexual harassment in
the workplace can be avoided by being smart sensitive on what is happening around
you. If ever a person experiences sexual harassment first hand, it is not advisable to
keep quiet about it. If the harassment is being done physically, make sure to get the
attention of the people nearby so that help will come immediately. It would also be
the best move would be to report it to the authorities in the workplace at once. In
cases that the offender is the superior, one should report the incident to the police. It
would also be the best to notify authorities if one sees that another person is being
sexually harassed.
Journal Activity 9
Sande, ch. 4 and 5: Reflection paragraph
Sande’s fourth chapter talks about the issues that lead to conflict; our personal issues and
material issues. It has also taught about how to properly handle these issues and the right attitude
in handling existing conflicts. As conflicts arise, we should know how to identify the major
issues and resolve it as soon as we can so that it won’t get any bigger. It reminds us how
gracious, merciful, and forgiving God has been for us, and that we should reflect His ways so
that we can honor Him. If God was able to forgive us our sins, we should also be capable of
overlooking little conflicts involving other people that do not cause major harm in our lives.
Having the right attitude, knowing how to counterbalance other people’s faults with their good
traits, and the desire to let others see God’s grace through us will help us resolve and even avoid
conflicts. The next chapter, on the other hand, teaches us to look deep within ourselves when
trying to resolve a conflict. It shows us that oftentimes, conflicts arise because of the desires of
our hearts that are not fulfilled. Whenever we continuously fail to achieve our desires, there is
the possibility that an idol (love, fear, or trust) will rule our hearts. We have to overcome these
idols and have God center our hearts so that we will be able to resolve and realize the conflicts
that are happening in our lives.
Reconcile Sande’s approach to “rights” and “I” statements on p. 92 and 102–109 with
Cahn & Abigail’s list of rights on p. 83. Are these two approaches compatible with each
other? Write no more than a ½ page.
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The approaches used by Sande and Cahn & Abigail are compatible with each other since
both have stated the privileges each of us has have. These statements also show how exercising
these rights, and sometimes relinquishing them, would help in managing conflicts. Sande’s
“rights” and “I” statements fit together with Cahn & Abigail’s list of basic communication rights
since they are indicative of the proper way to manage conflicts with people who does not agree
with us. Both of them help us in identifying when to exercise or be assertive of our rights, and
when to lay it down so as to not prolong existing conflicts.
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