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Introduction
Emotional intelligence is a critical skill to not only possess, but develop, today. It is not
simple referring to common emotions of expressions, but how one processes their emotions
considering the world around them. According to Potter (2024), having emotional intelligence is
a superpower. She writes, “... it impacts on how well we perceive, evaluate and express our
emotions, and that emotions are a vital part of being human, it does appear to be key to
unlocking how well we manage life” (p. 1). She goes on to say, “Because emotions play a
significant role in our day-to-day experiences, rather than ignoring them, it’s considerably better
to work towards understanding and mastering them.” According to Ciarrochi & Mayer (2007),
“EI is not about being illogical or overly emotional, it is about the intelligent use of emotions and
utilizing the information contained in emotions to make effective decisions” (p. 53). Emotions is
a part of the human experience, whether someone is cognizant of them or not. Emotions drives
human behavior, whether good of bad.
EI can simply be defined as “the ability to perceive emotions, to access and generate
emotions so as to assist thought, to understand emotions and emotional knowledge, and to
reflectively regulate emotions so as to promote emotional and intellectual growth” (Ciarrochi &
Mayer, 2007, p. 55). Being able to understand how EI can influence one’s actions can aid in
avoiding circumstances where you find yourself acting impulsively rather than according to
logic. Ciarrochi & Mayer (2007) notes, “Uncorrected and unguided experience simple serves to
reinforce false beliefs or ineffective behaviors” (p. 56).
Exercise Reflection
The first exercise introduces readers to the concept of emotional intelligence by posing
three questions about the importance of EI to the reader. Part two addresses the reader and asks
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questions pertaining to how information is learned. This lesson seems to establish a base line of
thought and learning whereby the participants can reflect from past learning experiences and
how they influenced the development of new skills. The point the authors wanted to make was
that EI is something everyone should use daily. They go on to say, “...in fact hourly, basis and
learning how to improve these skills what we have learned” (p. 59. In the next exercise, the
authors continue with their line of questioning to draw out emotional self-awareness from the
reader. These questions seek to show the reader just how aware or unaware they may be with
their emotional intelligence. Ciarrochi & Mayer (2007) write, “There are simply a large number
of people who do not look for emotions, do not notice even the most obvious of clues that are
displayed nonverbally or verbally” (p. 61).
The authors make this statement in exercise three, “One aspect of managing emotions is
to be able to stay open feelings, even though they might be unwelcome. If emotions contain data,
then it will often be foolhardy to ignore such data” (p. 66). Using the examples of someone who
uses EI versus who ignores it, the authors paint this picture to readers that effective decision-
making rests on the individual who employs both logic and emotions. Exercise four takes the
emotional blueprint briefly highlighted in the previous exercise and adds more substance from
the case study. The questions pose helps learned understand how they approach situations, either
by going with your gut feeling or by using logic and reason. In conclusion, the authors note,
“The goal of the activity is to see the relevance of both logical data and emotional data and apply
this story to the Emotional Blueprint” (p. 68-69).
The fifth exercise was about emotional experience that offered insight on how our
physical feelings are attached to our emotions. The authors state, “Some of us are more aware of
our physical feelings and are more accurate reporting feelings than we are emotions” (p. 70).
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Exercise six dives deeper into the connection between feelings and emotions. As stated in the
conclusion of exercise five, “Reflection and greater awareness come about when we are not
asked to label the emotions experienced, but instead to label the physical sensations and
feelings” (p. 70). In this current exercise, participants are asked to match the correct emotion
with the physical feelings. Some of us feel things deeply, but not for the full range of emotions
(Ciarrochi & Mayer, 2007, p. 71).
In the next exercise, the activity now moves to understanding basic emotions and their
impact on thinking and behavior. According to the authors, “It is difficult to understand
something if you lack precise terms” (p. 73). There is a saying that in the heat of an argument,
when emotions run high, words are often exchanged that would have never been said otherwise.
This exercise helps readers understand the energy behind their emotions. Ciarrochi & Mayer
(2007) write, “Emotions follow rules and emotions also have patterns of energy. For instance,
when one is experiencing low energy, emotions in this low-energy category include contentment,
sadness, or even boredom” (p. 73).
The authors then transition into the eighth exercise dealing with the importance of
emotional lenses, asking questions about the perception of other’s behaviors and moods. The
goal is to better access if someone can be cognizant of the emotions of other people and how
they feel. All too often, it is easy to overlook the emotional state of another person. The nineth
exercise is concerned with how one comprehends the process of feelings and its effects on
thought and action. The authors note, “We can understand other people, but do we understand
ourselves?” (p. 80). The purpose, according to the authors, is “to take a real and personal
situation and outline the process steps from beginning to end to see how the emotional lenses of
the individuals involved affect the outcome of the situation” (p. 81-82).
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The final exercise is how one can take all they have gathered on EI and use it in a
transformative way. This is important to know and understand because leaders today are unaware
mostly on how they can influence those around them, for the good or bad. A little emotional
planning can go a long way (Ciarrochi & Mayer, 2007, p.86). They go on to say, “Sometimes the
feelings and emotions we bring to a situation are helpful, and sometimes they are not” p. 86).
Personal Reflection
At the conclusion of the assigned reading and exercises, this student is more aware of his
emotional intelligence, and the ability to comprehend that of others. As Ciarrochi & Mayer
(2007) note, “The key to emotional intelligence is realizing that there is a balance of logic and
emotion” (p. 86). This is a practical application that can used in everyday life. One aspect is
being aware of one’s own emotions and how they shape both behavior and feelings. Another is
the awareness of other’s emotions and the ability to self-correct one’s behavior if the
interpretation of a certain emotion was incorrect. This allows a person to learn from their errors
better approach the situation better in the future.
God created all humans with emotions as we are all created in the image and likeness of
God (see Gen. 1:27). The Bible makes it clear how believers are to manage their emotions in
such a way where it does not offend others and can bring glory to God. The highest example is
that of Christ, where we see Jesus demonstrate righteous anger, thirst, weep, and a host of other
emotions. Emotional intelligence is important to have and hone because it provides a foundation
for understand one’s own emotions and make decisions in a logical fashion. It also aids in
understanding the emotions of others as we interact daily. Emotions are the foundation for
empathy, compassion, love, and effective communication. All critical aspects when relating to
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other individuals. Healthier environments can be created when people are more aware of their
emotions and how they impact and influence others around them.
These exercises helped bring a greater awareness to this student on where he is strongest
and other areas to be improved on when it comes to utilizing emotional intelligence daily and
working with others.
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Reference
Ciarrochi, J. and Mayer, J. (2007). Applying emotional intelligence: A practitioner’s guide.
Psychological Press.
Potter, M. (2024). The power of emotional intelligence: A primary school toolkit (1st ed.).
Routledge. https://doi.org/10.4324/9781032690773
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