CCOU-305-DB5 - Approaching Sexual Challenges in Christian Counseling

CCOU 305 DB5

Topic: Sexual Challenges

Question/Prompt:Thepresentationsdiscussmanyareasofsexualchallengesthatyoumay

encounterasaChristiancounselor.Pick1ofthefollowingtopicsanddiscusshowyouwould

approachtheissuewithyourclientfromabiblicalcounselingperspective:pornographyaddition,

adultery,premaritalsex,orhomosexuality.UseScripture,thetextbook,andtheclass

presentationsinthinkingthroughandpreparingyourtreatmentplan.Youmusthaveatleast2

citationsinyourpost.

Set1

Sexualaddictionisnothingnewinourworld.TheOldTestamentisplaguedwithstoriesof

sexualimmoralityandhomosexuality;thestoryofLotandhisdaughterswhenthestrangerswere

attemptingtoviolatethemaninLot'scare.DavidandBathsheba;andSamsonandDelilahjust

tonameafew.Granted,thecharactersintheOldTestamentdidnothavethetechnologythatwe

dotoday,facingagauntletoffilthatjusttheswipeofatouchscreen.SamuelGordon,author

ofQuiet Talks About the Tempterstatesbeautifullythevalueoftemptation:"Temptationhasno

powerofitself.Itmusthavehelpfromthemanbeingtempted.Thereisnothingsoweak,

sorediculouslyweakinitself,asatemptation.Itcandonothing,absolutelynothing,withoutthe

consentofthemanbeingtempted"(Gordon,2009).

Intoday'ssociety,weaspeoplearebombardedwithvisualstimulationateveryangle.

Evenourchildrenarecaughtinthecrossfireofthissexualilysaturatedculture.Ihavebeen

counselingforalittleovereighteenmonthsnowwhichisn'tverylong,butImustsay,the

amountofmen-andafewwomen-arestaggering.Lookingbackatalltheclientsandtheir

reasonsfortreatment,Ihavediscoveredthat67%ofallthepeopleIhavecounseledreported

sometypeofbattlewithpornography.Eventhepeoplewhodonotcomeinwithitastheir

primaryconcernstillreportsometypeofstruggle.Needlesstosay,pornographyhascreptits

wayintothehighestlevelswithinthechurchbody.

AnytimeIworkwithaclientwhostrugglewithpornography,Iusuallybeginasking

"Whendidyoubegintonoticeyouhadaproblem?""Onascaleof1-10,tenbeingcompletely

uncontrollable,howoutofcontrolisyourstruggle?"Thistypicallygivesmeabasicoutlineof

howtogoaboutmyquestioning.Theendresultistoidentifythe"why"behindthe"what".I

wanttoknow,forthesakeoftheclient'shealing,thesourcefortheirturningtopornography.

OneoftheScripturesthatIliketopointthemtowardsdealswithhowGoddesirestosanctify

throughtheHolySpirit:"ForYouknowwhatinstructionswegaveyouthroughtheLordJesus.

ForthisisthewillofGod,yoursanctification:thatyouabstainfromsexualimmorality;thateach

oneofyouknowhowtocontrolhisownbodyinholinessandhonor,notinthepassionoflust

liketheGentileswhodonotknowGod"(1Thessalonians4:2-4).Itissocrucialfortheclientto

knowthatiftheyeverdesiretocontinueintheirsanctificationthroughChrist,theymustremove

thisturmoilfromtheirlife.

OneofthethingsIhavelearnedthisweekwhilereadingThe Gift of Sex(Penner,Penner,

2003),iswherethetypesofaddictionsoccurinlife:"Mostsexualaddictionsbeginearlyinlife,

usuallybetweentheagesofeightandfifteen,butnotsowiththeInternet.TheInternetisnot

age-selective"(Penner,Penner,2003).Intheeffortsoftryingtohelptheclient,itismydesireto

showthemthattheyarenotexemptfromtheirsin.Itisimperativeandprimarytoconfessand

repentoftheirsinandstruggleinordertoallowChristtorenewthem.Thisallowsthemtotake

ownershipoftheiractionsandrecognizethatwithoutChrist,thereisnohope.

Gordon,S.D.(1910).Quiet talks about the tempter.NewYork:FlemingH.Revell.

Penner,C.,&Penner,J.(1981).The gift of sex: A guide to sexual fulfillment.(2003).

Set2

Marriagesstruggleforamyriadofdifferentreasons.Someofthesereasonsareminorandeasily

adjusted,andmanyarenotwithouttheaidoftherapy.IfIhadacouplethatcameindueto

infidelityoranextramaritalaffair,thereareafewthingsIwoulddointermsoftreatingand

counselingthesetypesofissues.Aswasdiscussedintheinfidelitypresentation,therearemany

differentissuesthatleaddowntheroadtoinfidelity.Thesecanbeissuesfromoneperson’spast,

present,orfuturethatcanputtheminthecrosshairsoftemptationtobeunfaithfultotheirspouse

(Carder,n.d.).

Thefirststepwouldbetobegindiscussingthecouple’severydaylife.Thiswillallowme

togaininsightintotheireverydayactivitiesandwhatmaybepotential“highrisk”areaswithin

theirrelationships(Carder,n.d.).Iwouldbesuretomakethecounselingenvironmentasequalas

possible,andnotalloweitherpartytofeelattacked.Thiswillmakebothpartsofthecouplefree

andopentodiscussion.Thenextstepwouldbetogooverfamilyhistoryanddiscusscertain

aspects,suchasfamilialhistoryofinfidelityorasingleparenthousehold(Carder,N.D.).

Afterreceivingthisinformation,dependingonwhattheissuesare,wecanbegintowork

throughissues.Iwouldverycarefullyoutlineparticularbehaviorsandattitudesthatmayhave

ledthemdownthisroad.Thisisaprecariousposition,becauseitissoimportanttomakesure

thatneitherclientsfeeltargeted.Anotheroptionwouldbetogetthecoupletotalkaboutwhat

theysawaspossiblecauses.Afterworkingthroughtheseissues,wewouldworkonbeginningto

rebuildtherelationship.Iwouldencouragethemtosetasidetimeforeachotherandtoplan

timeswheretheyarealonetogethertoenablethemtobuildintimacy(Penner&Penner,2003).

Allofthesemethodswouldbeusedintandem,anditwouldgiveacouplewhohadrecentlybeen

throughaninfidelitytobeabletohealandrecoverfrombetrayal.



References

Carder,David.(N.D.).Infidelity- another “you” in marriage.LibertyUniversity.Accessedon

December13fromhttps://learn.liberty.edu/webapps/blackboard/content/listContent.jsp?

course_id=_320098_1&content_id=_14658439_1

Penner,C.,&Penner,J.(2003).Thegiftofsex:Aguidetosexualfulfillment.Nashville,TN:

ThomasNelson.

Set3

Pornographyaddictionisoneofthoseaddictionsthatishardtoseesignsoftoday.Witheasy

accesstointernetcontentonyourphone,laptop,andeventabletsitissomethingthathastakena

holdofthismillennium.Irecallbackinthedaytheonlyaccessyouhadtothiscontentwas

throughmagazinesandasateenorevenyoungadultitwaskindofembarrassingtohavetogo

buyonefromthestore.Ibelievethatdeterredsomepeoplefromgainingaccesstothiscontent

buteventhen,therewasalwayswaystofindit.Nowitisrightatyourfingertipsforfreeandasa

societyingeneralitismoreacceptable.

Penner&Penner(2003)tellusthat“Themostprevalentsexualimmoralitythatwebringintoour

homesissexontheinternet.”Ifthisisthecase,weneedtofindawaytohelpthosewhohavean

addictionorfeelpulledtothismedia.Formenandwomen,itcanbeastruggletoevenadmitor

bringittosomeone’sattentionthattheyhaveaprobleminthisarea.Whentheydoweas

counselors,mentors,orpastorsneedtoknowwhattosayandhowtoguidethemtofreedom.

Forthistypeofaddiction,therealonlysolutionisstrictaccountabilitywithothers.Dr.Laaserin

hispresentationonmaleaddictionstatedthattherearefourmajorpartstoeffective

accountability.Thesemainareasarehumility,repentance,fellowship,andbeingproactive.To

trulybreakfreefromthissexualaddictiontheymustbewillingtodoanythingtomakeithappen

whichwilltakeahugeamountofhumilityandrepentanceinknowingthatitissinful.Thisis

backedbyPennerandPenner(2003)whentheystatethatchangemuststartfromtheheartand

onemusttakeapersonalinventoryandadmitthesinbeforeGodandothers.

Beingaccountabletoothersoratleastoneotherindividualwhoyoucanshareyourstrugglewith

iskey.Thesecondpartofaccountabilityiskeepingincontactwiththepartnerandbeing

proactiveindoingso.Whatgoodisanaccountabilitypartnerifyounevercallorsharewith

them?Also,whereisthebenefitofoneifyouonlyreactouttothemwhenyouhavefalleninto

theoldhabits?Thekeyistobeproactiveandkeepincontactandfellowshiptopreventfuture

temptationsorwaystohandlethemwhentheyarise.Whenourclientscanapplyallfourareasof

accountabilitytotheirlivesandreallywanttochangetheycanbreakfreefromtheaddictionto

pornography.



Refrences



Laaser,M.CCOU405.Male Sexual Addiction.Presentationretrieved

fromhttps://download.liberty.edu/courses/jeso2.mp4

Penner,CliffordandJoyce.(2003).Thegiftofsex:Aguidetosexualfulfillment. 311-321.

CCOU-305-DB5 - Approaching Sexual Challenges in Christian Counseling

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