After reading all three stories from this weeks lessons, I was brought to tears as I realized
that I have never experienced a true friendship, one that has remained throughout time. As I read
about the valued friendship between David and Johnathan, I marvel at how two people were able
to overcome so many obstecals and still remain faithful to each other. Or how Daniel would not
bend to another god instead willing to die for his faith.
I really do not know who I could say I most admire or that I can most relate to in these
individuals. David, who was a man after God’s heart, or Johnathan who knew that David would
rule over Israel. Or Perhaps Daniel and his three friends who chose to believe in their God to
either save them or not, but that their faith never dwindeled.
I have often believed that I held a strong stance when it came to my faith, I no longer am
embarrassed to pray for someone in public or to speak about God’s goodness and mercy. I have
claimed that should Jesus ask me to leave everything that I have and follow Him, I would gladly
go. I truly believe this in my heart, for there is no earthly person or situations that would keep
me from going to the ends of the earth for the Gospel. What little I have could never come close
to being a faithful follower of Christ. My life is now focused on what I can do for others rather
than for myself. Though I have felt that my life was empty and that though I never had any
lasting friendships, but those friendships where as long as I was able to provide something for a
particular friend they would remain my friend. Once I no longer had anything to offer, they
were but a fleeting moment in the night. I fact is that I could never comprehend why I was never
able to hold onto a solid friendship or relationship. For some, when they learn about my past,
they no longer want to have anything to do with me, this is especially true of my brothers and
sisters.
My mother in the end of her days was my only true friend and I miss her terribly. My children
who I gave birth to have turned away from me also. My oldest daughter has not spoken to me in
four years, but I could live with that, except that she has also deprived me of knowing my
grandchildren. My other daughter is a drug addict whose life is consumed with heroin and even
though the money that she wastes buying this garbage, is the deeper fact that I have to resign
myself that one day she may die from her addiction.
If I did not have the Lord in my life today, I truly do not know where I would be. I
know one thing for sure, I would be lost with no hope for life. I would not be able to stand up
for my faith and be bold in delivering my story. In the end, it would certainly be nice to have
someone with whom I can share my faith with, but for now God is sufficient enough for me.
