My Story I was raised in a cozy Florida

I was raised in a cozy Florida town, in a cozy little home, to a cozy lower middle class

family. The first and final child of a mechanic and a nurse, I was doted on throughout my life. I

never went hungry and I always had a roof over my head. I never endured any suffering first-

hand.

My schooling consisted of good grades and high hopes. My father badgered me, constantly,

about my future aspirations from as early as I can remember. I use the term badger in a loving

way. I think he thought it would ignite something within me to find a passion of some sort since

he never found his. To this day he will wonder out loud about what could have been if his

parents pushed a little harder, or at all for that matter. Where he needed the pushing, I found it to

be a daunting at 5 years old to decide what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. We laugh about

it now, but it was serious child rearing at the time.

My mother left her job as a nurse to pursue her true love, writing. But her past would not

allow her to sit at a computer for long. She began a small non-profit organization that worked

with abused women long before identifying and preventing domestic violence was in vogue and

decades before it became a national effort.

Her work would bring me into contact with children who were suffering; really suffering.

These children, many times under the age of two, had been beaten, raped and witnesses to

horrible atrocities that would make the most seasoned adult cringe. Their mothers were women

who took part in secret meetings. These meetings were about feelings, plans of action to get

away from violent partners and the ramifications of plans that had already gone well or not so

well. While the women talked, cried and calculated their escape, I played with their children.

Although the rooms were dank and musty, the children played care free. I was their babysitter.

Next door the women would pour their souls out to the only people they could trust to not

judge them, other women who would understand their plight. I did not know the details of their

lives at the time, but it didn’t take an experienced adult’s pair of eyes to see the sorrow in the

children and their broken mothers. I think my desire to know more started there in the basement

of that old house, with those battered women and their tattered toddlers.

I began working at age fourteen after answering a local help wanted ad for a tutor. As I

interviewed for the position I realized that this job, if I got it, would have nothing to do with

academics like I originally thought. I would be a different kind of tutor. One that I never knew

existed. I was offered a position as a peer mentor for a non-for profit organization that helped

kids, my own age, who had run away from home. Once I received notice that I was chosen for

the position, I was flown to Atlanta with only my new boss at my side and for one week was

trained in the ways of a mentor.

When I returned home and subsequently to work, I would once again come into contact

with kids who were suffering. This time however, I did not simply babysit. I worked with my

peers to identify risks they were taking and help give them options. Each day brought a new

person and a new experience to the forefront of my life. I was blessed to know the 13-year-old

prostitute who later would die of AIDS, the boy who was in my third and fifth period class in

high school and had run away from his abusive family, to the young girl I met who was so

tortured in her life she swallowed a razor blade. I worked diligently to get to know them, their

issues and to identify what the organizations needed to do to make something positive out of

their situations. Some of the children would move one and have positive life outcomes; most did

not.

I could not see then what I see now. I could not know how each of their stories would

build my story. How each of their struggles would propel me forward and lead me to my own

mental struggle. I did not realize how I would bask in each one of their successes or how each

peer lost to their demons would haunt me.

When I graduated high school and began the journey of choosing the path for my career,

that early work experience with those young people would compel me to seek a degree in

education. When I learned more about education, what is was and what it was not, my focus

became sharper. I wanted to work specifically with kids who were struggling emotionally. The

case studies discussed in my special education classes I recognized as true life stories, some of

which I had witnessed. I remembered the scenarios from my babysitting days at the domestic

violence shelter all the way through to my last day working at the runaway shelter. These stories

were not new to me. I had previously seen and worked with that type of suffering. I was drawn

to those kids in the midst of chaos. I was determined to help them. And so I earned a special

education degree with an emphasis on emotional behavioral and learning disabilities.

As a special education teacher I began to see inequalities in my day-to-day work. Those

issues encouraged me to ask questions. I took noticed that the vast majority of my students who

were labeled emotionally behaviorally disabled were African American males. Those who were

not African American were poor. Conversations regarding inequalities were questions that

simply were not discussed in my education classes in college. Sure, we talked about

maltreatment and how that leads to some children being labeled. But we did not discuss race. We

did not discuss a student’s sex and how it might affect the chances of a boy or girl being labeled

emotionally disturbed (ED).

I had seen kids in heartbreaking situations my whole life. As a teacher, they were in my

class, a part of my everyday life. The suffering was as evident then as it was to me working all

those years ago as a caregiver in the abuse shelter. My naiveté and curiosity would lead me into a

world of research. I am now committed to investigating and unearthing the details and stories of

marginalized youth, inequality in education, students in special education trajectories, and

students stuck in the school to prison pipeline.

As I discuss my journey of becoming a researcher and seeker of social justice for

marginalized youth, it is imperative that I situate my own story within the context of “theirs”.

Through my personal narrative I have fashioned meaning from the stories shared with me by

children, friends, and finally students. An integral part of this phase of agency is the

understanding that no one story stands alone. The ability to make some meaning of it all happens

as a summation of other stories and their impact on the one that came before. It is because of the

young children, peers, students and lastly participants whom I have worked with, that I am

privileged to create a richer meaning of my story through theirs and for that I am eternally

grateful.

The Story of Narrative

Everyone has his or her own story. Stories and our interpretation of them make us who

we are; in short they portray our version of our identity (Riessman, 2008). Stories are

constructed by us through our vision and our perceptions of our life’s experiences. Our stories

help to construct other’s stories and vice-versa. The powerful tool of narrative (story telling) has

been used throughout the millennia and began as simply a way to survive.

Before language existed, people drew pictures on cave walls to tell stories. As the years

progressed, humans left legacies through their hieroglyphics telling tales and making meaning of

their life experiences. Today, we regularly use social media to tell stories about our lives. We

construct meaning from the stories we read or hear (Denzin & Lincoln, 2011). We connect,

analyze or criticize as we build the stories of our own lives. So much of what a researcher studies

is directly related to him/herself (Lincoln & Guba, 1985). There is no need to parcel one’s self

out of the research (Clandinin & Connelly, 2000). Part of the research is the researcher and there

is a symbiotic relationship that evolves during the process of conversational interviewing and

analyzing. Narrative inquiry is a useful tool to interweave the ideas, stories and interpretations of

both the researcher and the participant (Iannicci, 2007).

Through storytelling we learn about ourselves and make meaning of our experiences

(Riessman, 2008). Narrative is based on the idea that humans are natural born story tellers who

interact with each other through their storied lives (Holley & Coylar, 2009). Other people’s

voices and personal experiences can resonate with our own personal experience and at that

moment evoke powerful responses. For some, it might be a moment of enlightenment, while for

others it might incite rage. In either instance, the moment that the connection is forged, there is

an unbreakable bond between two humans; humans who may never have connected before.

With that connection something inside may stir enough emotion to elicit social justice agency

(Tierney, 1994).

This is a research study that was based on participants’ stories and reflections of their

experiences. Parameters on narratives tend to put unnecessary constraints on the participants and

the researcher due to the fact that they are nonlinear or laden with discourse (Ochs & Capps,

2001). Using narrative inquiry I relayed the descriptions of my participants’ life events which

have impacted their schooling. Utilizing narrative inquiry allowed my participants to convey

their experiences through conversations and stories while I attempted to co-construct meaning of

the story being told (Josselson et al., 2003).

While there are alternative ways to collect data on girls who have come in contact with

the juvenile justice system they have stated that they just want their voices to be heard (Chesney-

Lind, Morash & Stevens, 2008). One of the best ways to gather stakeholder’s perceptions of their

experiences is through the use of narrative. I labored over attending to the nuances of the girls’

stories. I wanted the importance of each salient detail to be determined by them. I wanted to

work alongside the girls to gain a deeper understanding of their pathways to an alternative

center. The ability to understand youth offenders and their lives as they perceive them can

provide

critical insight to program changes in both the juvenile justice system and the educational system

(Wikstrom & Loeber, 2000).

The Statement of the Problem

Juvenile offenses have steadily risen over the last 15 years (Sherwin & Schmidt, 2003).

Policies and legislation, such as No Child Left Behind (NCLB) and zero tolerance policies are

designed to keep children safe yet they have had a multitude of unintended consequences

specifically for students of color (Skiba, Eckes, & Brown, 2009). More arrests have been made

in the past 10 years in direct relationship to no-tolerance policies enacted by school districts

across the nation than ever before (Sullivan, 2011). School administrators are forced to contact

authorities for issues that at one time were dealt within the school setting such as threats, fights,

and petty theft (Skiba et al., 2009).

There is a new phenomenon we are facing as a nation. The number of adjudicated girls

are growing at alarmingly fast rates and make up the fastest growing population to clog up the

school-to-prison pipeline (Edelman & Watson, 2012). When the desire to succeed in school

wanes, problem behaviors begin to emerge or escalate (Tille & Rose, 2007). The literature

suggests that poor educational opportunities allow for high risk behaviors to develop

significantly (Young et. al., 2010). “Girls continue to break down barriers and diminish the

differences between their level of achievement and that of boys in many areas, and violent

behavior is no exception” (Prothrow-Stith & Spivak, 2005 p.3). Girls are becoming involved in

the juvenile justice system at a younger age and for more violent crimes than ever before (Kakar,

Friedemann & Peck 2002). In order to better understand why these girls are committing these

crimes and engaging in delinquent behavior we must examine their previous experiences.

Each girl has taken part in compulsory schooling and their attachment (or lack thereof) to

the school is a deciding factor to their success. It is under this premise that this study was

designed. It is critical to discern what made these girls detach from their schools. The

educational community (schools, service providers and detention prevention programs) must

better understand how to engage girls to identify detachment at an early stage. These girls hold

the key to the answering the questions concerning how to better support them and others who are

headed towards the school to prison pipeline.

Rationale for Conducting Research on Girl Offenders

As I began my research into the inequalities of students with disabilities and their

educational experiences, and their likely entrance to the school to prison pipeline (Gagnon,

Shippen & Murphy, 2012) there was a central theme that could not be denied or argued; African-

American males have increasingly dismal graduation rates and are ushered in droves through the

school-to-prison pipeline (STPP) (Osher et al., 2012). Young men of color enter the STPP more

frequently than their white peers (Morris, 2012). While there is a considerable amount of support

and research on this topic, the voices of those adolescent men are still unheard. They are not

talked to; they are only talked about in most research. While this disconnect is so obvious in

some research, one might think I would choose to focus on young African-American men, but I

did not. I chose to work with girls for a several reasons.

First, girls are forging ahead in the school to prison pipeline (STPP). Second, I am a

woman. My research of at-risk girls will help me to better understand my own story and

potentially resonate with other women (Denzin & Lincoln, 2011). Third, there is a copious

amount of research (albeit quantitative) on adolescent boys, but there is minimal research on

adolescent girls in the STPP. This is investigation is especially critical since the adjudication rate

of girls has increased twofold since the 1980’s (Prothrow-Stith & Spivak, 2005). Last, a

negligible amount of research has been done to better understand the lived experiences of these

girls and that is happening in a handful of an already limited scope of research.

This is the fastest growing population of incarcerated youth (Hubbard & Pratt, 2002) and

yet we do not know what they have to say about their educational experiences. Interest in women

offenders has grown in the last few years, but there are still numerous gaps in the literature. The

literature that does examine this upward trend in crime committed by girls has mainly focused on

risk factors she may experience prior to her initial contact with law enforcement (Sherman,

2005; Zahn, 2009). While identifying risk factors is an important mission, there are so many

more questions that need to be researched when it comes to delinquent adolescent girls.

Pajer (1998) over 15 years ago, suggested looking into whether young women continue

antisocial behavior as they mature, yet her call for further research has been widely ignored.

What I find most astounding is the lack of research examining delinquent juvenile girls’

education, prior to, or after they have been involved with law enforcement. These girls have all

encountered schooling and it is critical that both the fields of education and criminology work in

collaboration to better serve this marginalized group (Lessen et al., 2000).

Schools are in a unique position in these girls’ lives. Schools have the capability of

identifying students who are at-risk and consequently implement programs to support them in

the areas in which they are most likely to be struggling (Zahn et al., 2002). This connection to

the school, otherwise known as school bonding, is an important protective factor for girls,

specifically (Hartman et al., 2009). However, many schools lack the funding or forethought to

promote this bond even though we know it increases self-esteem and promotes positive

relationships (Hirsch, 1969; Rovis, Bezinovic & Basic, 2016).

Purpose of the Study

As the population of girl offenders continues to expand, little research is being conducted

to address their personal journeys from their perspectives (Kakar et al., 2002). We know even

less about the perspective of these girls’ educational journeys and how those experiences guided

them to the STPP or alternative centers (Junger-Tas, Ribeaud & Cruyff, 2004). Due to a

historically male centered understanding of delinquency and interventions, much of the previous

research is dedicated to males in correctional facilities (Belknap & Holsinger, 2006). The

purpose of this study was to illuminate the effects of schooling on girls and the intersection of

race, disability and gender on their pathway to an alternative center.

Previous research has focused predominantly on the risk factors in boys, the

demographics of those boys and concerns about detaining them (Conklin, 2012). With male

voices in the literature difficult to find, female offender’s voices are nearly impossible to locate

indicating further exploration is necessary to add to the limited body of knowledge that currently

exists (Zhang, Hsu, Katssiyannis, Barrett & Ju, 2011). This study aimed to answer the call of a

myriad of researchers to open a dialogue between educational researchers and those girls who

are or have been incarcerated (Belknap & Holsinger, 2006; Chesney-Lind, 2007; Hubbard &

Pratt,

2002; Kakar, et al., 2002; Sanger, Ritzman, Stremlau & Snow, 2010; Zahn, 2009) .

Research Questions

1. What stories do girls being educated in alternative settings tell about their

education?

2. To what extent does race feature in the stories of these girls’ educational

experiences?

3. To what extent does disability feature in the stories of these girls educational

experiences?

4. To what extent does gender feature in the stories of these girls’ educational

experiences?

Significance of the Study

These girls hold insight to effect change and reshape public school interventions.

Ultimately, they can support other girls like themselves and make an impact on other’s lives

(Holsinger, 2008). The intersections of race, education and ability many times are inexplicably

linked to incarceration. Other key factors related to perception of ability and disability directly

impact girls and their possible introduction into the juvenile justice system (Annamma, 2013).

Understanding educational journeys of incarcerated girls can better inform schools and

service providers with strategies to help these girls make decisions that positively impact their

lives (Sanger et al., 2010). The voices of each girl offender documents authentic experiences

which they found significant in their journeys. Each experience is laden with details of how to

help the next generation avoid becoming part of the phenomena of incarcerated girls and this

crucial data has been untapped (Chesney-Lind et al., 2008).

Schools can potentially utilize findings to identify risk factors and effectively provide

services for those girls exhibiting certain characteristics or patterns. Quality education and early

detection of risk factors, along with implementation of services, can arguably be the key to

changing the trajectory of would-be adolescent girl offenders (Sherman, 2005). Service

providers may also find patterns of education for their program development helpful (Sanger et

al., 2010).

There are many variables within each of these girls’ lives. One experience they all share

is compulsory education. The information they offer of their experience can be helpful for

students as well as the professionals who create programming and policies (Kakar et al.,

2002). Allowing the girls to describe their perceptions of their schooling contributes to the field

by connecting what has been previously explored through data bases with the decidedly human

element of experience (Sanger et al., 2010). The significance of that human element cannot be

overstated.

In a qualitative analysis of 154 life histories of poor and working class young adults, Fine

and Weis (1998) attempted to learn about urban crime and violence; however, the narratives

uncovered a more disturbing fact. The perceptions that these young people had not only a fear of

violence and crime in their neighborhoods homes, but also in the way authority figures dealt

with resolving those issues. There was a sense that they could not look to their teachers, police or

others in authority for help or safety which had everything to do with their race, ethnicity and

sex.

If students feel their voices can be heard, that what they say matters and can make a

difference, the impact on schools and crime will be changed from the inside out. If girls who are

most at risk to enter the STPP, due to their exposure to violence and aggression outside of the

classroom have a chance to discuss their journey that in itself can translate into positive change

(Hatt, 2011). It will mean their voices matter and they matter.

When discussing the significance of girls’ voices discussing their educational

experiences, the American Academy of Pediatrics (2003) issued a statement calling for the end

to Zero Tolerance. The statement contends that disciplinary measures that allow students a sense

of participation and belonging while working to improve their own behavior would be more

constructive and beneficial. Since juvenile girls are becoming delinquents at an ever increasing

rate, this study would add hope to these girls’ that they can make a difference in the school

system (Ochoa & Eckes, 2005). To elicit positive changes, these girls’ must voice what they have

experienced and their perceptions of those experiences. The stories they tell must be studied,

shared and acknowledged if the STPP is going to cease operations.

To engage in research in a way that allows these girls and opportunity to speak rather

than to further act out and become permanently trapped in the pattern of juvenile delinquency is

significant. The girls’ voices and their stories may serve as a catalyst to spur change in education

as a system, in educators and even the girls.

The field of criminology has as much to gain from these types of qualitative studies as

does the field of education. The conception of juvenile justice was to protect young offenders

from the walls of an adult prison (Twomey, 2008). However, the evolution of zero tolerance

laws has refocused the mission. Education and juvenile justice once worked in the child’s best

interest and that interest was upheld by “parens patriae” (the state as the parent). It has now

moved towards a more punitive position.

These young offenders are still students. They precariously straddle both worlds of

school and crime. The lack of collaboration between the two entities charged in caring for them,

the school and the juvenile justice facility, is astounding. The bridge that should exist in order for

students to cross back into the education system seems to be burned down upon entry into a

juvenile justice facility. According to Gagnon, Houchins and Murphy (2012) collaboration

between multiple agencies is critical in supporting students. The disconnect between juvenile

justice and education is personified in each juvenile who enters into a detention program. They

become cutoff from the rest of society. The tension between the two worlds is palatable and the

division is unacceptable.

Definitions of Terms

In order to conduct this study, I had to reach across multiple disciplines and their bodies

of research and decipher each field’s language. From special education, juvenile criminology,

feminist criminology to gender studies, many times the meanings cross over, but the terminology

is quite different. In order for my work to be clear, I will define the terms as I have

conceptualized them for the purpose of this research.

Adjudication, Detainment or Confinement. There are several terms used to discuss

juvenile justice and the process that students go through once coming in contact with law

enforcement. I want to clearly define these terms for the purpose of this study. The term

adjudication refers to the decision making period that a judge has to determine placement or

treatment of an offender (McGarvey, 2012). Detainment and confinement are synonymous with

physical isolation of the youth offenders from their families, friends and schools (Conklin,

2012). This phase of the process comes after adjudication of guilt. However, for many juveniles

who offend, detainment can also occur prior to adjudication. This is in complete contrast to the

justification set forth for secure detainment of juveniles which is to ensure court appearances or

to limit the possibility of reoffending before adjudication (National Juvenile Defender Center,

2004).

Alternative Education Center. According to Flower, McDaniel and Jolivette (2011)

alternative education settings are a last chance educational experience. Alternative education

centers can be residential settings, day treatment centers, housed within juvenile justice centers

or a separate public or private school. The primary purpose of these schools is to educate

students whose behaviors are non-responsive to the interventions provided in a general education

setting in a typical school. Students are placed at alternative centers through various means;

through parent/guardian placement, through an individual education plan, through disciplinary

action through Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (2004), or through legal action

(Simonsen, Jeffrey-Pearsoll & Dugai, 2011).

School to Prison Pipeline. The school to prison pipeline (STPP) does not have a

singular definition. However, the concept can be clearly stated as a process of involving the

justice department in school matters, which consequently introduces youth to the juvenile justice

system (Gonsoulin, Zablocki & Leone, 2012). These behaviors warranting possible legal action

can range in severity from a kindergartener having a massive temper tantrum to a student

bringing a weapon to school.

Having worked in schools, I have seen the damage a five-year-old can do to a classroom

when he/she is having a temper tantrum. I have cleared a classroom full of students to protect

them from flying objects and harmful words. But I have never called the police. These incidents

were typically taken care of within the school setting (Sokolower, 2012).

Behavior referrals and functional behavior assessments used to be the route taken when

students with severe outbursts stifled classroom learning. Today police are handcuffing

kindergarteners who throw tantrums and yes, charging them with crimes ranging from assault to

property damage (Chesney-Lind & Jones, 2012).

The pipeline begins when teachers and administrators push students out of the classroom

and ends with a court date introducing students to the juvenile justice system. Students who wind

up in trouble, those who break the rules set by the established school system, are often looked at

as criminals and are treated as such by those in charge. The addition of zero-tolerance policies on

educational home fronts further supports that mentality (Hirschfield, 2008). Students who were

in trouble might have, at one time, been given a second chance or sought behavioral remediation;

schools are now enforcing zero-tolerance policies.

According to the laws, schools must treat rule-breaking students as criminals who are in

need of punishment rather than children who might need mentoring, guidance or even

differentiated instruction. Many schools today are replicas of prisons with metal detectors at

entrances, school resource officers policing the hallways, fenced in school yards and cameras at

every turn (Advancement Project, 2010).

Before we can delve any further into the school-to-prison pipeline, we must dissect its

clogged entry way by answering such questions as: What avenues have students taken (or been

guided through) to direct their lives to such a seemingly irreversible place? What is the larger

societal context that allows such a pipeline to exist in the first place (Sokolower, 2012)?

The STPP is a negative school experience that most frequently impact youth-of-color

(Kim, Losen, & Hewitt, 2010). This STPP disproportionately affects African-American students

and as a result, these students are either dropping out or entering prison at alarming rates

(Alexander, 2010). These young men come into contact with law enforcement in

disproportionate numbers when compared with any other ethnic group or the girls (Alexander,

2010). However, adolescent girls are closing the gap (Zahn, 2009).

Clearly, STPP is a disturbing phenomenon that affects more than one population of

students. The effects of the STPP are far-reaching and its impact on students can be life altering.

While traditionally boys have outranked girls in entering the STPP; that is changing. According

to data from the Federal Bureau of Investigation, the arrest of girls increased more than arrests of

boys for most types of crimes by the year 2000 (Zahn, 2009). The gateway to prison is now wide

open to both sexes.

Research indicates that girls who are connected to their schools tend to experience school

success (Freidenfelt Liljeberg, Eklund, Fritz, & Klinteberg, 2011). Conversely, those girls who

feel disconnected from their schools encounter higher rates of school failure. Many times school

failure for adolescent women equates to delinquency (Emeka & Sorensen, 2009). Educators need

to know what to do next if circumstances are to change for girls. If girls are to escape a school

life that prepares them for entrance into the penal system instead of a world of higher education

and career choices, educators will need to be an integral part of their school lives.

Overrepresentation of Students of Color

In 1968, Dunn described what he saw in public schools across the country;

overrepresentation of culturally and linguistically diverse students in special education. Almost

fifty years later and not much has changed in education as far as overrepresentation in special

education is concerned. In fact, overrepresentation is also apparent in the context of juvenile

justice. Overrepresentation, in this study refers to, a disproportionate amount of one population

receiving treatment, placement, or attention over others. We know that race plays a major role in

determining who may be caught up in the STPP. Gregory and Fergus (2017) purports that white

students do not offend less however; they are differentially selected for disciplinary action than

students of color. Black and Latino/a Americans are subject to disproportionate school discipline

than their white peers (“Are Zero,” 2008). This disciplinary action based on zero tolerance

policies many times leads to an encounter with law enforcement creating an unnecessary

connection between schools and juvenile justice (otherwise known as the STPP).

The higher level of students of color with high incident disabilities that Dunn (1968)

described can be found today in school systems across the country. It should come as no surprise

that these marginalized students who enter into special education under the labels of Learning

Disabled (LD) or Emotional/Behaviorally Handicapped (EBH) are more likely to encounter

school failure than their peers (Gagnon et al., 2012). Students with disabilities are twice as likely

to drop out of school and are overrepresented in the juvenile justice system (Hogan, Bullock &

Fritsch, 2010). According to Hagner, Malloy, Mazzone, & Cormier (2008) students with

disabilities make up anywhere between 40-70 percent of the incarcerated population of juveniles.

With a disproportionate amount of students of color being negatively affected by zero

tolerance policies the Center for Children’s Law and Policy reported that the Juvenile Justice

Detention and Prevention Act which was reauthorized in 2002 aims to lower further

disproportionate minority contact (2013); however, that aspect of the legislation has yet to come

to fruition. Furthermore considering the overrepresentation of student with disabilities in

juvenile justice facilities one would posit that there would have to be more special education

teachers in the facilities to meet the demands of the students.

According to Young, Phillips and Nasir (2010) there is indeed an overrepresentation of

students with learning disabilities who are incarcerated. We know there is a much higher

probability of a student who has special needs (specifically high incidence disabilities such as

emotional disorders or learning disabilities) being incarcerated then their non-disabled peers

(Emeka & Sorensen, 2009). Additionally, compounding the issue of overrepresentation, those

students who are labeled with high incidence disabilities (i.e. learning disabled and emotionally,

behaviorally handicapped) are all too often students of color (Waitoller, Artiles, & Cheney,

2010).

Disability

The Individuals with Disabilities Act was most recently amended in December 2015. Disability

according to IDEA includes thirteen categories (Strassfield, 2017). Those categories include: specific

learning disabilities, other health impairments, Autism spectrum disorder, emotional disorders,

speech/language impaired, visually impaired, hearing impaired, deaf, deaf-blind, orthopedic impaired,

traumatic brain injury, intellectual disabilities, and/or multiple disabilities. It is important to note that

within each category there are variances of abilities and severity of impairments or disorders. Each

category contain multiple dimensions. For instance, emotional disorders can include challenges such as

depression, anxiety, or schizophrenia just to name a few. When discussing disability within this study, I am

referring to the IDEA categories unless otherwise specified.

Gender vs Sex

As the conversation of girls who enter the justice system continues, I feel it is necessary

to clear up some confusion in regard to the terms sex and gender. Although there is a myriad of

articles that use these terms interchangeably, I am here to defend the proper use of each term as

separate but equal. Sex is biological. These biological differences determine a person’s sex. Sex

makes a person either a man or a woman (respectfully boy or girl) (Galambos, 2004).

Gender on the other hand is a more complex concept. Gender is based on characteristics

that a sociocultural construct delineates as masculine or feminine (Nobelius, 2004). Those who

score high on both femininity and masculinity scales are considered androgynous (Laner, 2000).

For the purpose of this study these terms will not be used synonymously. That is to say,

gender will refer to characteristics associated with societal norms and sex will refer to a

participant's biology (Muehlenhard & Peterson, 2011). The term female at times can be utilized

in scholarly writing; however, most would agree that “female” should be used for animals and not

human participants (as well as men instead of males) (Lanner, 2000). I will use the term girls to

describe my participants. Gender norms and the effect on each girl’s educational trajectory is a

focal point of this study.

In addition to the discussion of gender versus sex it is critical to address the term I use for

the participants in this study. I refer to my participants as girls. From first glance this may seem

to go against the critical feminist lens of the study however, this was a conscious decision. It is

my aim to re-associate my participants into the minds of the reader as children and not as

offenders or juvenile delinquents. By using the term girls I encourage the reader to remember the

biological age of the participants and further humanize their experience. Using the term girl will

implore the reader to look at the participant as they would a loved one and less as a perpetrator.

While each girl has played a role in her decision making process, they are both still relatively

young and have been through more in their short lives than many of their women counterparts.

Theoretical Rationales

Understanding who these students are and what they bring to the proverbial table is how

we can began to heal the damage done by a decade of addressing student discipline through

crime control (Hirshfield, 2008). A closer examination of the students funneled into the STPP is

critical to begin to permanently seal the pipeline altogether. This study utilized a critical theory

lens to not only research the phenomenon at hand but also elicit social change in the realm of

juvenile justice and education. Within the theoretical frameworks lie the necessity of reflexive

action which is taken from the research to identify ways in which I am not only complicit with

the way things are but an actual producer of the injustice (i.e. special educator and teacher

educator) that I am researching. Critical theory methodology’s most important role is to

determine the purpose of the social research and not just to be a spectator of the phenomenon

(Leonardo, 2012). By employing narrative as a methodology for this study, in conjunction with

critical theoretical lenses, the stories of these girls could potentially cultivate social change

regarding girls and the STPP.

Critical Race Theory

When approaching race research, the researcher is not attempting to gain a better

understanding of the issues. Race research is done in part by “liberating people from accepting

their race knowledge as natural and neutral” (Leonardo, 2012, p.601). Leonardo (2012) argues

that western-based research has long touted itself as producing knowledge about a particular

population when many times those people’s experiences and voices are left out of the research

altogether. This argument is exemplified by the research conducted around overrepresentation of

students of color in special education since the inception of special education itself. Throughout

the research, voices of teachers can be heard (Waddell, 2011); however; the voices of students

are but a whisper (Belknap & Holsinger, 2006; Brown, 2011; Hagner et al., 2008).

Currently, the research and conversations of the STPP and how it adversely affects

mostly African-American students is played out daily in classroom’s and juvenile justice

facilities across our nation (Kupchik, 2009). Once again those adults with power have their

voices heard. You can see them on television, read their opinions in an article in the newspaper

or in a professional journal yet the student’s voices that are most affected by the policies are

silenced. This disparity has led to a newly developed framework titled DisCrit (Annamma,

Connor, & Ferri, 2013). DisCrit combines Disability studies with Critical Race Theory to

examine the construction of disabilities in education and their intersection with race.

One can no longer turn a color blind eye to these atrocities committed by our schools and

supported by legislation. Zero tolerance policies have allowed policing to seep into our nations’

schools under the guise of protecting our youth. “The link between race and crime is as enduring

and influential in the twenty-first century as it has been in the past” (Muhammad, 2010 p. 1).

Schools using metal detectors have been found to be positively related to those schools

with a large population of students of color (DeVoe et al., 2005). Youth who are subject to

multiple school resource officers patrolling their hallways are more likely to be encounter to pat

downs, locker searchers and metal detectors further characterizing them as potential criminals

(Hirschfield, 2008). Since Columbine there is a police presence in schools across America the

likes of which we have never seen before. This cohabitation of students and law enforcement has

inevitably led to more frequent arrest and removals of what the schools deem disruptive students

(Kupchik, 2009).

Removal from schools is associated with disengagement which leads a student to drop out

of school (Brown, 2011; Townsend Walker, 2012). Since dropout rates are associated with race

with over half of all African American males not graduating from high school (McMillian, 2003;

Townsend Walker, 2012) it is critical to examine these connections with a fine tooth comb. One

of the focal points of this study is race and it is critical to acknowledge students of color encounter

a disproportionate amount of contact with police their White peers. Ignoring the sociocultural

context of the STPP would be careless and negligent.

Critical Feminism

Criminology “remains one of the most thoroughly masculinized of all social sciences”

(Britton, 2000, p. 57). As a woman who identifies on multiple levels with my participants, it is

fair to say that I come into this research with my own assumptions of who I am, who my

participants are and who they could be. A critical feminist lens allows me to investigate the

experiences of these girls while questioning the paradigm they have been placed in by both

themselves and society (Mac an Ghaill & Haywood, 2007).

As the issues of gender surface regularly throughout the literature, it seems a likely

framework considering my heightened sense of awareness to the decidedly gendered nature of

the issues regarding these girls. The power structure which is inherent in both the justice and

educational system is cloaked with yet another layer of tension when the issue of the prisoner‘s

sex is brought to the forefront. Radical feminism states that judicial, political and religious

realms embrace a unifying theme of patriarchy (Hopkins & Koss, 2005). This patriarchy creates

a dominance factor over women. This view is inherently pessimistic pitting the man as the

dominator against the woman as the victim. Foucault’s theory of power tempers radical

feminism without watering down the theory that all humans are subject to dominance and this

phenomenon is not simply sexed but dominance is everywhere (Munro, 2003). However, when

discussing women who are imprisoned, especially girls, the image of a woman as a victim arises

and therefore the realm is perceived as reality.

These girls negotiate their development from girls into women in a setting specifically

created to oppress (Hirshfield, 2008). According to Daly and Chesney-Lind (1988) it is critical to

determine the individual experiences of each woman and tread carefully on the groups of

essentialism. Essentialism is a critique of radical feminism from many feminist criminologist

who feel that the white, heterosexual voice of “oppression” is the one who speaks for all

(Andersen & Collins, 2004). However, the benefit of the romance approach to feminist

criminology (radical feminism) branches into discussions of inequality and social justice for all

(Burgess-Proctor, 2006).

As the number of offenses and subsequent confinement for young women continue to

increase, the question of the societal impact must be addressed. According to Sullivan (2007)

juvenile detention centers must determine what their mission is; to detain or to rehabilitate.

Delimitations

As a former special education teacher I am acutely aware of the intersection of race,

disabilities and gender in education and juvenile justice. This basic foundation instilled a desire

to better understand the connection between these factors and ultimately has led me examine the

pathways leading youth to the STPP. Lurking in the shadows of the current research base on

students entering the STPP are girls. While their numbers are far fewer than their male

counterparts, their increased presence in the juvenile justice system (thirty percent increase

according to Emeka & Sorenson, 2009) over the past 20 years is striking. All of the

aforementioned points culminated into the conceptual framework I put forward.

My framework integrates theory in critical race and critical feminism. These theories,

utilized together, allow for broader understanding of the sociocultural context in which these

girls live. Narrative as a methodology allowed for those context and stories to be explored and

heard from the participants themselves. This context does not; however, mean we are bound by

our cultural experiences. We can grow, change and evolve (Cavendish, 2011), which was the

premise of this study.

I propose that we listen to others who are engrossed in the movement of modern

institutionalization (Houchins, Shippen, & Murphy, 2012). These stories may help us to

effectively implement better programming based off the ideas of the most vital stakeholders; the

offenders, the students, the youth. While research seeks to identify risk factors or hypothesize the

trajectories of the participants, this study was not dichotomous in nature. Parceling out identity

or risk factors has been the subject of both juvenile justice research and educational studies.

Each field has explored the pieces to a notability large puzzle; however, my aim is to examine

intersectionality. This study assumed a central purpose which was to explore the

multidimensional intersectionality of race, disabilities and gender and the relationship with both

the education and juvenile justice system (Crenshaw, 1993).

The tenet of the present study was to better understand students’ pathways as they

marched towards the STPP and how their perspectives of their education determine their

trajectories. It is essential to note, previous research on identity suggests singular views

regarding identity can actually limit understanding (Annamma et al., 2013).

In order to better understand the students who have already entered the STPP, I conducted

semi-structured interviews (Lincoln, Lynham & Guba, 2011) with a sample of two girls. These

girls were between the ages of 11-17 who currently attended a day program, alternative

education center located in a southern state. The girls were being educated at the alternative

setting. One girl had been ordered to go to the center by her school in conjunction with a judge,

while the other girl volunteered for the program.

The ages of these girls varied due to the age range being serviced at the center. I

recognize that while working with younger adolescents (11-14 years of age), that their

perceptions of their schooling may not be fully formulated and even those who are older may

have difficulty articulating their experiences. For this reason I incorporated a reflective journal

for my participants to utilize.

Conclusions

As the STPP continues to see an influx of students, those interested in the well-being of

those students, and our society as a whole, are called to action. It is time to dissect this cycle of

socio-cultural warfare and open a dialogue with those students who are so grossly, unjustly and

negatively affected. Zero tolerance policies and a decidedly tough on crime approach to the

discipline issues regarding youth today have been proven ineffective. These policies have

contributed to littering the halls of juvenile justice facilities across the nation with the dreams of

a generation of young people.

The reasons girls have been increasingly detained in juvenile detention centers continue

to be argued amongst the fields that work to support them. The reasons range from the

intolerance of non-compliant girls (Morris, 2016) to the “protection” of these juvenile offenders

(Sherman, 2005). The literature proposes possible risk factors that girls may exhibit prior to

entry into a detention facility; those tend to be very different from the risk factors of their male

adolescent counterparts (Pasko, 2010). An in-depth knowledge and understanding of those risk

factors may help those who work with these girls to better address girls’ needs and assist in

creating effective educational interventions or strategies. Further studies exploring those girls’

voices would allow the field to better understand the perceptions of education these girls bring

with them as they matriculate through an academic institution, as well as a correctional

institution.

Further research will allow these girls an opportunity for self-reflection about their

lives. They will take a critical look into the choices they have made and the circumstances

which have led them to the alternative center. The value of their experiences for service

providers, juvenile justice workers and educators alike, cannot be overstated.

Much of the information needed to make viable changes throughout multiple systems lies

within information gleaned from the perspectives of girl offenders. Studies utilizing girls’ voices

to examine issues directly related to the research seek to add much to the paucity of this subject

in the literature (Zhang et al., 2009).

Identification of the key issues surrounding this disturbing upward trend of girls being

incarcerated have been established (Hubbard & Pratt, 2002); yet, suggestions of how to change

this trajectory is lacking (Sherman, 2005). The research base on adjudicated adolescent girls is

sparse. The most obvious limitation is the lack of these participants’ voices within the research.

This study aimed to unsilence the voices of these disenfranchised girls in order to better

understand their educational experiences prior to being at the alternative center. The literature

states that educational outcomes are directly related to high-risk behavior. High-risk behaviors

are directly related to entrée into the justice system. Therefore, understanding the first step onto

a slippery slope for these girls can only better inform the field and broaden the literature base.

CHAPTER TWO

REVIEW OF THE LITERATURE

Overview

Adolescence has long been touted as a time of tumult and a cross roads from childhood to

adulthood (Hall 1904; Arnett, 1999). This time of life either leads students towards educational

success and becoming a productive member of society or educational failure and becoming

adults on the fringe of society (Roeser et al., 2008). To many students, education is seen as a

waste of time or not a pathway to achieve the kind of lifestyle they hope to lead (Hatt, 2011).

Though one may contend that boys and girls share many similar risk factors on the road to

delinquency, and that fact has been substantiated, there are risk factors specific to girls which

have been mostly overlooked (Kerpelmen & Smith-Adcock, 2005).

Feminist scholars have asserted that explanations of crime theories are not only

conceived by male criminologists, but those theories are used as general theories as why

offenders commit crimes in the first place. However, women’s offenses and pathways to

incarceration are vastly different than men (Chesney-Lind, 1989). Therefore, those theories and

the practices within the justice system are inherently flawed due to the unique experiences of

young women (Belknap & Holsinger, 2006). Daigle, Cullen and Wright (2007) propose that

specific theories must be created that incorporate girls’ stories in order to illuminate their

participation in criminal behavior.

While the number of girls committing crimes has increased over the past several decades,

males still comprise 93% of the inmates in state and federal prisons (Diagle, et al., 2007). The

steady increase in women offenders and their subsequent placement into detention centers begs

for research to determine why this is happening and investigate ways society can work to rectify

the trend.

To thoroughly examine the rationales for the increase in girls’ detention, this chapter will

explore the differential socialization of girls in our society (Daly & Chesney-Lind, 1988),

environmental and biological factors that increase the risk for incarceration and recent policy

changes that expedite the pathway to detention.

Socialization of Girls in our Society

Indications show that the behavior of girls is determined by social and cultural

expectations (Chesney-Lind 1989). Girls who abide by societies’ rules and accept the traditional

definitions of femininity tend to report fewer delinquent acts than by girls who confront society’s

restraints on girls’ behavior (Heimer 1996).

Galambos (2004) found that girls’ futures may be limited not only in their occupational

desires but realities by how they and others see themselves in as early as high school. One aspect

of self-perception that may be important for girls is their self-esteem. While home life and peers

certainly have an effect on the ideals of gender roles, research suggests practices and experiences

within schools should be researched to determine if gender differences are being increased or

diminished. Teacher behavior and attitudes, school climate and the validation of gender

stereotypes and pressures for conformity by classmates are among school variables that likely

contribute to gender socialization (Sherman, 2005). Among the social constructs of femininity

include the perceptions of women being weak, nurturing and submissive (Robinson-

Awana et al., 2001).

One researcher notes that parents, schools and society in general must consider the

differences between girls and boys if they are to be effective in their roles (Prothrow- Stith &

Spivak 2005). That statement is integral to both juvenile justice and educational system if it is to

implement valid processes in preventing girls from becoming juvenile delinquents.

In order to design a program that deters delinquency and intersects girls’ needs, those

needs must first be defined. In the past, girls’ voices were silenced. Previous social services

established to assist girls have only mimicked what society perceived as fundamental to

rehabilitation, which may in actuality, been a continuation of gender stereotypes (Goodkind,

2005).

That masculinized image of bad girls (common with the current

“bad girl” hype) serve a number of important societal purposes.

Notably, they serve to warn all girls and women of the negative

consequences of seeking political and societal equality with men

while also justifying harsh new controls on certain girls – daughters

of the powerless. In a race and class biased society, the demonization

of certain girls and women as gender outlaws justifies their harsh

control and punishment, all the while cautioning the daughters of the

powerful about the downside of challenging male dominance.

(Chesley-Lind & Irwin, 2008, p. 2-3)

According to McEachern and Snyder (2012), there is a complicated relationship between

relational aggression and social status amongst girls. In a 2003 study conducted by Prinstein and

Cillessens, middle school students identified popularity as being directly linked with relational

aggression. However, there is a definite disapproval from peers in regard to girls’ physical

aggression. This censure may be the catalyst for the underground world of covert defiance and

aggression for girls in school (Crawford & Unger, 2004).

Girls who are involved in relational aggression tend to be popularized. This type of

offense has only recently received any spotlight from both media sources and researchers.

Relational aggression has long been considered behavior from simply girls-being-girls

(Crapanzona, Frick & Terranova, 2010). Physical aggression amongst boys and men is not only

acceptable but many times encouraged. Physical aggression is a masculine act which is

unbecoming in a young woman a deeply discouraged by those people in power who set the

norms. However, when a girl or woman turns to physical aggression, society shuns her. She has

broken a cardinal rule that woman fight with words, and typically against other women, yet,

anything more than that is seen as masculine and therefore undesirable behavior for a girl

(McEachern & Snyder, 2012). A recent study also determined that girls who are physically

aggressive tend to struggle with depression (Benarous, Hassler, Falissard, Consoli, & Cohen,

2015).

The Criminalization of Girls of Color

Examining the juvenile justice developments in recent years, girls, and specifically girls

of color have become the target of “tough-on-crime” policies such as zero tolerance and

mandatory arrests for youths. Girls’ arrest rates have continued to climb since the early 1980s

while boys have leveled off (Zahn et al., 2002).

Moreover, girls of color are taking the brunt

of tough policies on youth when they often are

being educationally neglected, have severe housing

and employment issues and often have situations

complicated by early motherhood and growing

health problems (Chesney-Lind & Irwin, 2008, p. 180-181).

According to Johnson (2003) there has always been a distorted lens which society uses to

view African-American women using definitions such as subservient, inept, oversexed and

underserving to explain and prove that these are the types of women who belong behind bars. In

2009, the American Civil Liberties Union and the ACLU of Mississippi filled a federal civil

rights case filed against police and county school officials. This lawsuit claimed that officers and

school staff were assaulting and racially discriminating against Black children riding home on a

school bus. An argument on a school bus was turned into a police incident after a fight between

three students led to two officers being summoned by the bus driver. The officers proceed to use

excessive force by not only threatening to shoot 30 students between the eyes, but by but choking

and tackling a Black girl on the bus (ACLU, 2009). The incident was caught on video tape and

the shocking revelation proves as a testimony to the way girls of color are discriminated against.

While Holsinger (2000) adds how research is consistent in finding that girls of color are

given harsher and less chivalrous treatment than White girls by the criminal justice system due in

part to racial difference along with gender stereotypes.

Research on implicit bias uncovered that a racially stratified society tends to create racial

stereotypes and norms that affect decision-making (Nolan, 2011). Subconsciously acted on, the

reactions to those beliefs have created a perception of a “racial threat” which ultimately affects

girls of color. The implementation of policies for stricter punishments in schools has led to the

use of surveillance, metal detectors, cameras and an increased police presence in schools

(Kupchik, 2009). To further obfuscate the problem, having a police presence in schools has

distorted the lines between the two institutions discourse. Daily exchanges and interactions with

law enforcement expand the surveillance of [girls] of color and normalize prison terminology and

culture within the school setting (Nolan, 2011).

Such reactions have also led to the egregious applications of zero tolerance policies in

cases where five and six-year-old Black girls are documented as public safety threats (Darcy,

2012). One study suggested that Black girls are subject to the racial profiling that happens with

adults, and that bias can change those girls’ futures forever (Smith & McIntosh, 2007).

Black girls have been criminalized by strict school policies, linked to law enforcement

(Fyfe, 2012), due heavily to stereotypes of promiscuity. Hypersexualizing Black girls based on

their so called inappropriate dress allows for schools to deny these girls access to education.

They are suspended or referred to administration for this type of infraction far more than their

White female counterparts (Blake, Butler, Lewis, & Darenbourg, 2011).

Bad attitudes in school are a common teacher complaint against Black girls. These issues

are directly connected with being considered too loud, using profanity, wearing revealing attire

and confronting people in authority. Black girls tend to come in contact with law enforcement

due to suspensions or even expulsions due to the infractions (Blake, et al., 2011; Steinberg &

Lacoe, 2017). Some researchers purport that the girls are becoming victims for qualities that have

historically been associated with their survival in the face of racism, sexism and classism such as

being an advocate for themselves (Davis, 1981; Lerner, 1972).

Chesney-Lind & Irwin (2008) contend that the zero tolerance policies have

inexplicably been leveled against African-American youths and are adding to the derailment of

educational success for girls specifically. The relationship between education attainment and

school discipline is critical component that can open the barred door to incarceration for all girls,

but especially Black girls (Morris, 2016). Add to that the studies which posit the academic self-

esteem of Black girls drops during their adolescence and there is a recipe for potential

educational derailment.

The stories of Black girls have not been the focus of literature on victimization, yet

research has revealed significant presence of abuse histories – physical, substance, emotional and

sexual – among detained and incarcerated girls (Berlinger & Elliott, 2002; Chesny-Lind & Jones,

2010.) Yet without hearing and analyzing those narratives, which to a certain extent shape

perceptions and interaction, society cannot be understood (Chadderton, 2013).

Environmental and Biological Factors that May Contribute to Incarceration

Adolescents’ interactions with their environment and the people around them in their

daily life, are a central factors in their health and well-being. Most studies of incarcerated women

posit that there are high rates of victimization among the women. This link with violence greatly

improves their entry into the criminal justice system as defendants (Smith & McIntosh, 2007).

Richie observed (1996) in her study of African-American abused women in jail in New

York City, that patterns of entrapment by abusive partners helped lead the women into a life of

crime. Daly (1994) found several roads that lead mostly poor woman of color to become

entangled with the justice system. Extensive victimization and exploitation in the lives of women

who live on the street was also found (Chesney-Lind & Rodriguez, 1983). Mallett (2017)

identified maltreatment as an antecedents to a student engaging in delinquent acts. The

environmental and biological factors that lead to the incarceration of girls are varied. They

include, but are not limited to: family dynamics, mental health, trauma, early menarche, and

students with disabilities.

There is no shortage of risk factors that may contribute to the detention of juvenile

women (Pasko, 2010). The professionals who work daily with these young women acknowledge

that they are damaged prior to entering the facility (Pasko, 2010). The damage they refer to is

what the field calls risk factors. The ability to identify a risk factor or multiple risk factors in

students within a K-12 setting could prove to be helpful to those working in conjunction with

these young ladies (Sanger et al., 2010). Once identified, strategies of how to manage or cope

with the risk factor(s) could be determined (Belknap & Holsinger, 2006). While research

contends that boys and girls share many similar risk factors on the road to delinquency, there are

substantial delineations (Zahn, 2009).

Early Menarche. Early pubertal development has been consistently linked to deviant

outcomes (Beaver & Wright 2005; Haynie, 2003). While early puberty can be a risk factor for

boys, the physical signs of early maturation for girls, coupled with the often still undeveloped

cognitive and emotional ability, create particularly increased risks (Graber, Brooks-Gun, &

Warren, 1999; Trickett, Negriff, Juye, & Peckins, 2011).

It is reasonable to suggest that pubescent youth may experience greater difficulty

managing strain in the lives since puberty is a time of pronounced biological change and

hormone production accompanied by increasing societal demands (Beaver & Wright 2005;

Haynie & Piquero 2006). Early maturing adolescents may experience a “maturity gap” where

they rebel and sometimes offend in an attempt to gain autonomy in concordance with their

biological development that society and parents will not yet permit (Moffitt, 1993).

The incidence of exposure to intimate partner violence also appears as a risk factor when

girls mature at an early age (Foster, Hagan, Brooks, & Gunn, 2004). High risk behaviors

including substance abuse, running away and truancy are all related to early menarche (Caspi &

Moffitt, 1991; Flannery Rowe, & Gulley, 1993; Stice, Presnell, & Bearman, 2001).

Therefore, early maturation can theoretically lead to diminished social controls, weakened

coping functions and increased criminal incentives as girls who are not emotionally mature strive

to deal with their mature bodies (Jackson, 2012).

Family Dynamics as a Contributing Factor to Incarceration

The home lives of many girl juvenile offenders can be characterized by instability.

Whether or not a juvenile participates in delinquent behavior appears to be greatly affected by

family dynamics (Emeka & Sorensen, 2009). Literature documents the connection between

complex family dynamics. Single-parent and low-income households describe 73% of the girls

studied in Duval County who were incarcerated (Sherman, 2005). Their relationships with

parents tended to be volatile. The girls purported that their parents abused drugs and/or alcohol.

Those biological parents who did abuse drugs or alcohol, more than half had been convicted of a

committing a crime. The stress caused by the absence of a stable home life many times results in

emotional distress for the girls. Add that stress to the already turbulent years of adolescence and

girls often begin to exhibit increasing at-risk behaviors.

A critical question in the field of girl offenders is “do girls have stronger bonds to their

families than boys, creating a greater stressor when families are struggling with abuse, alcohol,

and parental absence?” Some researchers think the answer is yes. They theorize girls who feel

the deep family connection is a protective mechanism (Hirshi, 1969). When that bond is severed

by various forms of abuse or instability, risk-taking behaviors increase (Gilligan, 1982; Leonard,

1982). Longitudinal studies show attachment to school has a greater influence on girls avoiding

those risk-taking behaviors than on boys. Crosnoe, Erickson, and Dornbusch (2002) found that

girls who do have family concerns, but formed a bond with teachers, were more protected against

delinquency, even when girls had delinquent friends

(Zahn, 2009). Chesney-Lind (1989) proposed that the specifics on characteristic of girls who

enter detention are imperfect, at best. What is known is that girls who live in unstructured family

lives look for that protection elsewhere.)

Girls feel the need to be heard (Sanger et al., 2010). While their voices have traditionally

been silenced in society, girls typically rely on their family to verbalize their feelings and

concerns. But when a break occurs in that family due to drugs, alcohol, abuse, incarceration of a

parent and other factors, girls sense they have no one to talk to or who will listen. Girls will find

another way to be heard. Many will turn to an older boyfriend to meet their basic needs.

Schaffner (2006) found when that happens the girls can become exposed to pressures by those

boyfriends to use drugs, alcohol or engage in illegal activities that could end with the girl’s

incarceration.

Mental Health as a Contributing Factor to Incarceration

Depression, anxiety and psychiatric disorders are also especially high in girls who are in

detention facilities (Zahn, 2009). Many girls who exhibit high-risk behaviors struggle with

mental health disorders. Post-traumatic stress syndrome is a common disorder among girls in

prison due to trauma. Although this is one of the more common mental health issues the juvenile

justice system is faced with addressing, for young women in custody, it is certainly not the only

disorder (Sherman, 2005). It is important to note that girl offenders are more likely than male

offenders to have mental illness.

Teachers are usually the first identifiers of a student’s behavior and educational

problems. Mental health screening and support in schools depends on teacher referrals for girls

they determine to be at risk. Gender has been identified as a variable that impacts that referral.

One national study of randomly selected schools and districts (Foster et al., 2005) found that

school personnel rated anxiety and adjustment problems as top reasons for girls to be referred for

mental health services. Boys were referred more often for academic and behavioral concerns.

Trauma as a Contributing Factor to Incarceration

While previous literature discussed issues of adolescents, what was overlooked were how

issues of trauma and the role trauma plays in leading adolescents down a path of delinquency.

During the past decade the discussion of trauma in the lives of incarcerated women has opened.

Literature states that many of these young women have been traumatized at some point in their

development (Gilfus, 2002). But their voices are still missing in the discussions. Smith and

McIntosh (2007) depict a story of a young girl who was adjudicated.

Michelle spoke out loud for the first time in two and a half

years when she cursed at a judge. She was fifteen years old

and had been in 30 foster homes. The first time she stole

was to get a lock to put on her door to keep her brother from

sexually molesting her. Authorities put her into the

Minnesota juvenile justice system. There she finally

got the help she needed. (p.79)

Through their deeply personal stories we may learn about the trauma these girls have

sustained on a daily basis. Via those stories, educators can ascertain the knowledge to assist them

in becoming true advocates through the educational system. If better relationships are created

through the understanding of their students, stronger bonds are created so girls feel worthwhile

and develop higher self-esteem. Only then may school and the road to higher education become

more influential than the delinquency and prove to be a protective factor for girls (Rethinking

Schools, 2011). The literature base acknowledges the dire importance of school success (Smith,

Park, Ireland, Elwyn & Thornberry, 2013). What happens to these young women does not occur

in a vacuum, yet they are expected to leave all of their baggage at the classroom door.

Interpersonal Violence (IPV) affects everyone in the family. In homes where IPV occurs

between parents, 30 to 60 percent of children will be abused by that same parent (Hartley, 2002).

Even if the child is not harmed physically but is a witness to the abuse, children can sustain

mental and emotional trauma. This translates into issues at school through lowered learning

ability, poor academic performance and behavioral problems. Many young girls, who live with

abuse, run away from home. While girls may be running away due to family disputes and

disagreement, they may also wind up in jail because of those disagreements and the policies set

to keep them off the streets (Chesney-Lind & Irwin 2008).

Children who live within that cycle of violence are more likely to perpetuate the cycle

(Mace et al., 2001). Yet many cases of assault, in one study of a thousand girls from California

counties, found a high percentage of charges of person offenses involved assault that were more

of a non-serious mutual combat situation with parents. For example, Acoca & Dedel (1998)

discovered the details of an assault that was actually a father lunging at his daughter as she called

the police about a domestic dispute. She hit him as he lunged at her and she was arrested. Or

another girl arrested for assault when she threw a Barbie doll at her mother (Belknap, Winter &

Cady, 2001).

Girls who live with or witness abuse and reach adolescence, may either become an

abusive teen in a relationship or submit to a boyfriend or girlfriend who is abusive. Early sexual

victimization and runaway leads to a pattern of “risk amplification” (Chen et al., 2004, p.1). A

study interviewed 361 homeless and runaway girls in four Midwestern states and found drug

abuse on the streets concomitant with early sexual abuse. The girls ran away at an early age and

used whatever methods they could to survive on the streets (Chen et al., 2004).

One study contends that one in five high school girls experience physical and/or sexual

abuse in their relationships. Those girls who report abuse had a significantly elevated risk of

using alcohol, tobacco and cocaine, unhealthy weight control and attempted suicide (Silverman,

Raj, Mucci, & Hathaway, 2001). Approximately 20 to 25 percent of girls and young women

between the ages of 13 and 20 have experienced physical or sexual dating violence (Surprenant,

Jezierski, Bauer, & Taliaferro, 2002). Literature also suggests that girls may be more sensitive to

the abuse and trauma that occurs in the home than boys (Zahn, 2009). The reasons for this

discrepancy are unknown.

A history of abuse (physical, sexual or emotional) is one major contributing factor to girl

offenders currently detained in the nation. “An overwhelming, 92 percent of girls interviewed in

four California counties in 1998 had suffered some form of abuse…” (Sherman, 2005, p. 21).

Trauma and abuse are common characteristics of girl juvenile offenders, which is not always the

case when looking at male juvenile offenders. Research suggests that girls are at a higher risk of

being abused than boys (Holsinger, 2000). She also suggests girls who are abused often run away

from home and become offenders (Siegel & Williams, 2003). Such statistics support this

proposal’s focus on girls’ stories as a valuable research tool.

School Factors

Issues of wealth, race and gender disparities still plague the educational system (Redfield

Nance, 2016). More than ever before, schools have a crucial function in educating young

people, however, today schools also play key role in fast-tracking or intervening on the school to

prison pipeline (STTP) (Osher, et al., 2012). Today, schools in America respond to student

misconduct and disobedience in radically different ways than in the past in the form of School

Resource Officers, surveillance cameras, random searches and swift punitive actions (Kupchik,

2009). Such strategies to implement punishment is as common in some schools hallways as

phone calls home once were as a response to students misbehaviors.

Teachers. Society assumes that teachers come to work because they want to help

children grown and reach their full potential (Byrnes, 2009). In effective schools, teachers set the

bar high for students to succeed and translate those expectations into teaching actions, setting

objectives, and striving for the mastery of those objectives, spend more time on instruction and

actively monitor students’ progress. “They plan and they know their students will succeed”

(Sadker, Sadker & Zittleman, 2013, p.13). However, Pesky and Hancok (2006) suggest that the

very children who need to be taught by the most qualified teachers are often assigned the

teachers with the least experience, education and skills. There are achievement gaps that attest to

Pesky and Hancok’s purport.

Part of the rationale for gaps in academic achievement of students of color, may be the

shortage of teachers of color. While 45% of the 49 million public school students in the US are

students of color, only 16.5% of the 3.2 million teachers are of color (Coopersmith, 2009).

Researchers suggest the education of teachers working with culturally diverse students is

of vital important since schools and the teachers they hire have a direct role in accelerating or

intervening on the school to prison pipeline (STPP) (Cornbleth, 2008; Osher et al., 2012). Those

educators who strive to have good relationships with their students families make an attempt to

learn about each student and then relate that knowledge in their professional interactions with the

families help to ensure student achievement (Osher et al. 2012). Teachers also need specialized

professional development and ongoing preparation in evidence-based practices if there is to be

any changes in the classroom that leads to a slowdown in students being funneled into the STPP

(Shippen, Patterson, Green & Smitherman, 2012). Teachers can and do make a difference in

whether students’ succeed or fail in their academic life, which often effect their future outside of

the education realm (Zahn, 2009).

School Bonding. The term school bonding is used in the study to showcase the unique

attachment, commitment and connection students have with teachers, staff, officials and peers at

school. School bonding may also be referred to as belonging, attachment or involvement. I utilize

the term school bonding as it encompasses all of the aforementioned aspects.

School bonding has been shown to reduce dropout rates (Peguero, Ovink, & Yun Ling,

2016). Low bonding to school is one of the factors that researchers site in adding to the risks of

girls becoming prone to violent behavior. The formation of a bond between students and school

involves four elements: attachment, commitment, involvement and belief (Hirschi, 1969).

Attachment is defined as relational ties which bind youth to significant others. Commitment

refers to a youth’s desire to aspire to something higher than they currently seem themselves as

which typically leads into involvement. Involvement requires youth to participate in socially

valued activities that more than likely will benefit in their successful completion of his or her

commitment. A belief system is determined to be a critical piece of the social control theory.

Belief simply stated suggests that the youth adheres to and accepts social value system which is

mostly created out of a sense of morality (Hirshi, 1969). Without these four components Hirshi

postulated that youth would offend as there is nothing to metaphorically ground them.

Poor attachment has been associated with the inability to form and maintain stable

relationships (Pajer, 1998; Peguero et al., 2016). If students do not have a reason to attach to

school, the chances of them dropping out increases (Cavanagh & Fomby, 2011). While many

youth have been labeled as drop-outs, the reality is that many low-income students and students

of color are the ones being pushed out (Strassfield, 2017; Valenzula, 1999). Many students of

color are also inappropriately placed in high-incident a special education class which limits their

connection to school and increases their risk of dropping out (Harry & Klinger, 2006).

Students with Disabilities. Special education was born out of a debate about who

belongs in schools and how far schools need to stretch to meet student needs (Byrnes, 2009). The

controversy is far from over. Byrnes (2009) discusses about what has changed. How in the past,

35 years ago children with disabilities were not welcome in their local schools and parent’s

choices were limited to teaching their child at home, looking for a spot in a religious school or

send a child to an institution. Unlike today, there were no laws to protect students with

disabilities.

The history of special education in American public schools is relatively new and has

been created through legislation with laws such as IDEA (1975, 2004) (Byrnes, 2009). Today

students with special needs make up 13percent of the school population or almost seven million

students with the largest number of students considered to have a learning disability (Turnbull,

2015). Students with disabilities are twice as likely to drop out of school and today are

overrepresented in the juvenile justice system (Hogan, et al., 2010)

It is estimated that between 40 to 70 percent of incarcerated youth have disabilities

(Bullis, Yovannoff, Mueller & Havel, 2002; Mishna & Muskat, 2001). Two out of three students

who enter a correctional facility have been identified as a student with a disability and have

received special education services prior to incarceration (Soliz & Cutter, 2001). According to

Lenssen, Doreleijers, van Dijk, and Hartman (2000) a majority of girls who are incarcerated have

also received special education.

Ninety percent of youth arrested have met criteria for at least one or more disability

(Neville, 2001). Young et al. (2010) affirms there is indeed an overrepresentation of students with

learning disabilities who are incarcerated and purports an inconsistency in the numbers of

students with learning disabilities and emotional disorders reported according to the Office of

Juvenile Justice (2009). The possibility noted for this discrepancy is the differing definitions

researchers impose on youthful offenders and the fact that researchers are often working in

different fields of study with differentiating jargon and definitions.

The jargon used by the different service providers has limited accurate statistics on

exactly who is in correctional facilities (Young et al., 2010). What we do know is that there is a

much higher probability of a student who has special needs (specifically high incident disabilities

such as emotional disorders or learning disabilities) being incarcerated (Gagnon et al., 2012).

One study concerning the number of students who offend and enter the juvenile justice

system are classified as disabled, as defined by the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act,

(IDEA) approximate that 12.6 percent of juvenile offenders have intellectual disabilities and

35.6 percent have learning disabilities (Casey & Keilitz, 1990). Solitz and Cuttler (2001) purport

students with emotional disturbance and specific learning disabilities have the highest rate of

adversarial interactions with the law and 20 percent of students with disabilities are arrested at

least once before finishing high school. Abrams and Haney (2004) found graduation rates for

special education students is only 50 percent. Adding to these students’ struggles, researchers

suggest that despite the increasing number of students with disabilities being incarcerated,

special education services, although mandated under federal special education policy, are lacking

in correctional facilities.

Therefore, this failure effectively “locks out” countless students from receiving a quality

education, and perpetuates their journey through the school-to-prison pipeline (Caldwell, &

Curtis, 2013). Academic programs must be further funded to ensure this student population has

the services they are entitled to in accordance with state and federal mandates.

Consequences of Educational Policies Expediting the Pathway to Detention

Several educational policy changes that were meant to help students succeed in the

classroom have accomplished just the opposite. Many youth who would have at one time been

disciplined in school, now find themselves on the road to incarceration through juvenile justice

services. Legislation such as Zero Tolerance policies which were implemented in the 1990s, has

been one major factor in the rise in students suspended from school and encountered law

enforcement, which has nearly doubled, since the 1970s (Hatt, 2011).

Many state legislatures and school districts have expanded The Gun Free Schools Act of

1994, to include mandatory expulsions for drugs and alcohol, fighting, gang membership, threats,

and /or swearing. By 1995 most states had legislation to prosecute juveniles as adults.

These laws increased the likelihood of any adolescent acting out in school to being expelled

(Skiba & Knesting, 2002). Much of the rationale for the discrepancy between adolescent

development research and the reality of the harsh punishment laws for juveniles comes directly

from the perception that there is a public mandate to be tough on crime (Hirschfield, 2008).

Zero Tolerance

Zero Tolerance policies have had (un)intended consequences for at risk youth and have

led to a constant flow of students who at one time might have been disciplined within the walls

of their schools to be guided directly to jail (Kupchick, 2009). These consequences

disproportionality effect African-American students (Knaus, 2007).

Critics of zero tolerance policies suggest that providing a police presence in schools

actually leads to the arrest of student for misconduct, such as fighting. Previously disciplinary

action would have meant school punishment and perhaps a mark on the student’s file rather than

the start of an arrest record (Kupchik, 2009).

In current American schools, the process in which discipline is defined, managed, and

implemented closely resembles methods used in crime control (Hirschfield, 2008). Researchers

Chesney-Lind & Irwin (2008) contend that an increase in rates of male youth violence in the

eighties and nineties were the impetus for strict “law and order” codes written by schools and the

advent of increased surveillance over students. The researchers suggest that such rigid rules for

suspension, transfer or expulsion for rule breakers, led to the “no-exception” mentality of school

today. An unfortunate consequence of those policies, are that schools most effected by such

surveillance and the use of zero tolerance, are those that serve poor, youth of color.

School-to-Prison Pipeline

The STPP is a set of policies and practices that increase the chance that children and

youth will become criminalized and incarcerated and decrease the chance that they will attain a

high-quality education. It focuses on punitive consequences, student exclusion, and justice-

system intervention over a student’s right to an education. The number of students affected by

STTP is rising and students of color and students with disabilities are being funneled into jail at

alarming rates (Advancement Project, 2011). “While educational policies profoundly shape

young people’s experiences, policy analyses are often not extended to their “on-the-ground”

implications for K-12 students, within the everyday contexts of their lives (Brown 2011, p. 814).

It is that missing knowledge of what transpires in the daily lives of students of color that

aids in the siphoning of children from schools and sends them on the pathway to incarceration.

According to Houchin, Shippen, and Murphy (2012) this diverse group of students who share

similar backgrounds of being underprivileged, of color, disabled, mentally ill and having poor

school academic and behavioral experiences are being pushed from the halls of our schools into

the cells of our prisons. But program based changes have the ability to make a difference in the

education of youth offenders (Mathur & Schoenfeld, 2010). Even while in detention facilities,

youth are entitled to education services which includes access to special education services

(Board of Education v. Rowley, 1982; Leone & Meisel, 1997).

The school-to-prison pipeline (STPP) is bulging and the pathway that leads from school

to prison is disproportionately filled with students of color (Osher et.al. 2012). In the U.S. in

2009 1.9 million juveniles were arrested (OJJDP, 2011). Half of that number are guided through

juvenile justice facilities with about 100,000 committed to that system (Shippen, et. al, 2012).

Issues within the Juvenile Justice System

Juveniles and their detention began as a way to ensure the safety of young offenders by

removing them from the walls of adult prisons (Twomey, 2008).

Educational Services within JDC. Students housed within detention facilities have a

unique set of needs (Gagnon et al., 2012) yet students are missing critical instruction time as they

transition either into or out of a facility (Young et al., 2010). The majority of these students have

already experienced school failure at some level prior to their incarceration. Negative attitudes

toward school along with school failure are viable predictors of criminal activity in girls. That

disconnect that occurs when a student experiences school failure affects girls more directly than

boys.

It is unfortunate that tensions often arise between the mission of the public school system

and the mission of detention facilities. Both organizations are required to provide educational

services for these young offenders (Gagnon et al., 2012); however, education is rarely the priority

of a detention center. A detention facilities main focus is to detain. Education then becomes an

afterthought.

Research conducted by Morrison and Epps (2002) suggests that there is a lack of quality

education within juvenile justice settings. This educational/juvenile justice fail is unacceptable

and according to NCLB legislation against the law. Students who are incarcerated are covered

under the far-reaching arms of the NCLB. Those children who are incarcerated bring with them

into a facility the same rights to a quality education as their non-incarcerated peers. One might go

as far to say, these students need this protection most. They are no longer at-risk for being

incarcerated; now their futures are in question. They require the best, brightest and most

dedicated teachers.

Teachers within a juvenile facility require training that will assist in the day to day issues

that many times are at higher intensity levels than those in a public school setting (Houchins,

Puckett-Patterson, Crosby, Shippen, & Jolivette, 2009). This means the juvenile justice facility

and the school districts must work together to ensure that the detained youth have not only the

opportunity receive a quality education but they also can leave the facility ready to be productive

citizens. Training on collaboration is critical as there are multiple agencies who work within the

wall of a detention facility (Gagnon, et al., 2012).

Gender Bias. The juvenile justice system was made in the image of adult confinement

with a decidedly different mission, to rehabilitate, boys (Liddell & Martinovic, 2013). Girls have

been but an afterthought in the world of juvenile justice. While we understand that there are

differences between the sexes and how each offend and the risk factors involved in their decision

making (or lack thereof) minimal has been done to comprehensively change the justice system

and services for girls (Sherman, 2005).

Females make up the minority of the prison population for both juveniles and adults but

have seen the fastest and highest percentage of arrest rates in the past 20 years (Chesney-Lind et

al., 2008; Daigle et al., 2007; Zahn, 2009). Risk assessments are tools used to better understand

the specific risks related to women offenders (Emeka & Sorensen, 2009).

When discussing gender vs. sex in scholarly literature, gender is used to indicate

characteristics that are believed to be absorbed and acquired by males or by females as a result of

his or her social experience, whereas sex indicates the biological status of male or female.

According to Spence and Helmreich, (1978) gender role is defined by shared cultural

expectations about appropriate behaviors for males and females and gender typing is the way

each develops those roles and the attributes consistent with male and females, which leads to

gender-typed behaviors, personality characteristic, beliefs, preferences and attitudes.

Hubbard and Pratt (2002) conducted a meta-analysis of predictors for delinquency in

girls. The analysis revealed that historically there has been little significance in gender

differences, as they relate to risk for delinquency. However, in recent studies, predictability of

delinquency was strongly linked to family relationships and previous abuse. Females who

experience “family disruption” were more likely to be delinquent (Steketee et al., 2013; Mattell,

2017). The findings of the meta-analysis also showed that since there has been an increase in

females entering the prison system, it is crucial to better understand why females are offending.

Because of that more recent discovery, many authors have suggested that the older,

generic risk-factor assessment tools, which tend to mainly have utilized male samples, are more

prone to steer toward classification errors when used with girls (Schwalbe, Fraser, Day &

Cooley, 2006).

In contrast to Hubbard and Pratt’s study, Sherman (2005) posits that girls bring with them

a different set of issues than their male counterparts. These conflicting accounts suggest that

there is more work to be done since there is not a consensus in the field about potential risk

factors being gendered or not.

Many times females are incarcerated based on status offenses which are offenses based

solely on the age of the offender (i.e. truancy, smoking, drinking, running away) (Chesney-Lind,

1989). Reasons for detaining girl offenders range from violent offenses to the more common

practice of “bootstrapping,” which refers to detaining girls for their own protection (i.e.

prostitution, runways etc.) (Zahn et al., 2002). Young women also often end up back in prison

based on technical violations, such as violating probation (Edleman & Watson, 2012).

Many of the girls who are incarcerated have been victims of many forms of abuse.

Sherman suggests that detention may exacerbate those issues for these adolescents, who often

enter detention centers many times, are victimized all over again. She lays out the importance of

focusing on how to change the system for girls. She suggests ways to eliminate gender bias in the

detention centers and how to appropriately respond to the needs of these young women.

What is clear is that girls and boys offend for different reasons. They are also detained for

different reasons. Many times boys are detained for violent, aggressive behavior whereas girls

continue to be detained for offenses that are related to their juvenile status. Girls’ delinquency

varies from boy offenders too, in that girls’ offenses are less chronic and often less serious. One

in-depth study of a large urban court system found that 73 percent of the girls, as opposed to 54

percent of boys who enter the juvenile justice system never return on a new referral (Synder &

Sickmund, 1999). What is also evident is the causes and correlates of delinquency in girls cannot

be addressed with gender specific research alone research must dig further to find similarities

and differences among offenders other than simply gender or sex (Klein & Corwin, 2002).

Even as the topic gains traction in the media very little research investigating what is

actually happening for these young women is being conducted (Sanger et al., 2010). Chesney-

Lind, Morash, and Stevens (2008) reviewed the literature addressing the issue of girl’s

incarceration and the programs available to them. It was noted that there was not one program

focused on education dealing with either previous experiences or difficulties the girls were

currently facing.

What cannot be ignored about this common practice of placing girls in detention centers

for non-violent status offenses, is that they typically serve longer sentencing times then the boy

juvenile offenders who are sentenced for the same (or at times more severe) offenses (Morris,

2016; Sherman, 2005; Wun, 2016). This is a failure of multiple systems attempting to work

together which creates a type of inter-system “detention dumping.” “Detention dumping” refers

to different agencies having difficulty figuring out what services girls may need, so they place

them in a detention facility since there is no other place to ensure their safety (Sherman, 2005).

Theoretical Framework

Research can help to refute the claim that Western-based epistemologies create an

objective knowledge when it rules out a particular knowledge from the stories of people of color

(Collins, 2000). The theoretical framework of this project is positioned among critical theories

of race, gender and disability. My voice and perspective is intertwined throughout the discussion

to justify the use of the frameworks chosen.

Critical Race Theory

I first started teaching students ranging from kindergarten through third grade. My

students were considered emotionally or behaviorally handicapped. My classroom was a self-

contained classroom, meaning my students spent less than 20 percent of their day with students

who were in the general education classes. In my first year as a teacher, I had 13 students. One

was white. She was also a girl. So, that meant 11 African American children; 10 boys and 1 girl

in my class. It struck me as odd, even then. My lone Caucasian girl had been diagnosed with

dissociative identity disorder via a psychiatrist. All of my other students found themselves in my

classrooms via teacher referral and school placement.

Even when intersectionalities are examined; race is at the forefront (Leonardo, 2012).

First and foremost is the assumption of race. Race assumes that there are commonalities between

phenotypes and genotypes and that those similarities matter (Bonilla-Sylvia, 2014). Critical race

theory states in order to make noticeable changes in sexism, class disparity, and connections

between families and schools, race must be explicitly addressed (Leonardo, 2012). Our notions

of race and how they are used are so ingrained in who we are as a society, that many times we do

not realize the injustice or absurdity of our actions (Ladson-Billings, 1998).

I was schooled in the age of colorblindness and my whiteness as a power structure of

“normal” (Ladson-Billings, 1998) was not even a blip on my psyche let alone a course in my

education classes. I had what I would call watered-down multicultural infusion within my course

work but the connection to pedagogy was lost on me. I take responsibility for that. I am not sure

that I could have fully comprehended the brevity of the curriculum at the time. What I

eventually would come to learn on my own was that colorblindness was a movement that proved

to be detrimental to the educational success of the students who sat there on a balmy August

morning in my self-contained, emotionally behaviorally disordered portable (Alexander, 2010).

My portable was located as far from the school as possible. Literally, my portable was the

last structure on the campus, by a busy street, with not even as much as a fence holding us in to

symbolize that we were a part of a larger whole. We were alone; figuratively and physically. I

was a well-educated, albeit young, but well educated woman, yet the disproportionality I saw

before me was jarring. The lack of diversity in my classroom did not require any theoretical lens

to identify something was amiss.

As I began my doctoral studies almost a decade later, the memory of my boys (and my

White girl) pushed me to explore why I felt a pang that morning in my classroom. Diving head

first into the literature it was to my surprise (embarrassingly so) that there was and continues to

be an entire theory as to why I saw what I saw in my pitiful excuse for a classroom all those

years ago. I found answers to questions I was asking in critical race theory. I found declarative

statements to the significance of race (Ladson-Billings, 1998) which were in direct contrast to the

multicultural teachings of past (think “melting pot” and “we are all the same” rhetoric).

I could not help but wonder if I as the right person to do this research. I am not African-

American. I am not Latina. I am not Native American, Portuguese, Jamaican, or Asian. I am

white. My ancestry speaks to a more cultured definition of who I am, but my skin screams my

race…loudly. So I struggled with my position as a white person and my assumed “white

privilege” (MacIntosh, 1990).

An important component of Critical Race Theory (CRT) is addressing the culture of

power (Berry & Stovall, 2013) and how those power structures play out in society. A principle of

CRT is that race permeates all aspects of society (Chadderton, 2013). I know what I know from

my experiences, even if they are white. My perceptions of my experiences make up my reality

(epistemology). I came to recognize that being a white woman did not exempt me from

experiences of race (Chadderton, 2013). My experiences were different than those of all other

girls and yes that included girls of color as well as other White girls. My experiences are

uniquely my own. Multiplicity is part of the human experience. While some experiences are

similar, all are unique to the individual and therefore important to the master narrative (Berry &

Stovall, 2013).

Although my experiences are white, that does not exclude me from the conversation. In

fact, critical race is about confronting race and looking at it head on. So my internal dialogue

about my race and how it plays out in my research is the very crux of what critical race theory is

made of. Evans-Winters and Esposito (2010) unequivocally call out all researchers who have

interest in examining the issues related to Black girls, in particular, to do just that. They suggest

there is not enough research being done to address the needs, stereotypes and stressors associated

with young women of color and invite all interested scholars (women and men of all races) to

explore the lived stories of girls of color.

Wolcott (1994) suggests turning to theory when qualitative researchers are attempting to

either interpret or analyze data. “Coming from various racial experiences and histories, subjects

live race realities as a relation between their objective and subjective world” (Leonardo, 2012 p.

600). Researchers are now calling for students and practitioners to dig deep and reexamine our

concepts of race and their implications (Daniels, 2011).

While the conversation of race and education typically revolves around African-

American males, this study intends to expose the injustices done to girls of color who are

arguably on the fringe of the issue (Austin, 1995). “There is a need for more scholarship in the

field of education that looks at the educational experiences and schooling process of African-

American girls” (Evans-Winters & Esposito, 2010, p.12). This study did not speak to African-

American girls exclusively, the research does however show that most girls who are considered

at risk or have been removed are disproportionately African-American.

Looking at the overall picture of the students involved in the juvenile justice system it is

clear that African-American experience a disproportionate amount of encounters with law

enforcement than any other population of students (Office of Juvenile Justice and Detention

Prevention, 2002). The judicial system coined a term to describe this phenomenon;

disproportionate minority contact or DMC. With the judicial systems acknowledgement of this

disproportionate contact with students of color it seems as though the education system who

disproportionately introduces students of color to that system would also have a coined phrase. It

does not. Although the discussion of the school to prison pipeline focuses broadly around

students of color the connection of school, race and criminal justice, has been largely been left

unexplored (Delgado & Stefancic, 2007).

Pieces of DisCrit. The intersectionality of race, school based disability, and the school to

prison pipeline are inexplicably linked. This connection is complex and using one without the

other ignores the importance of how society’s conception of race and disability work together

(Annamma, Connor, & Ferri, 2013). Therefore a new theoretical framework meshes the work of

disabilities study (DS) with Critical Race Theory (CRT): DisCrit. The purpose of this framework

is to explore the ways in which students are both raced and dis/abled (Annama, et al., 2013, p.5).

The tenets of DisCrit focus on how racism and ableism work interdependently in order to endorse

notions of normalcy. DisCrit acknowledges the social construction of race, class, gender,

sexuality and dis/ability and values the individuality of each person and their sense of identity.

However; DisCrit suggests that social construction of identity has an impact on the psyche of

those who are set on the fringe of western cultural norms. DisCrit seeks to review the historical

phases of dis/ability and race while recognizing these have been used separately and together to

subjugate the rights certain individuals. This framework requires upholding the voices of those

populations who are typically marginalized within society as well as ignored within the research.

Lastly DisCrit “requires activism and supports all forms of resistance” (Annamma, et al., 2013,

p.11). Annamma and colleagues (2013) insist that this framework does not imply that those who

are dis/abled, are of color or that those of color, are dis/abled. They also make clear that DisCrit

acknowledges all experiences, colored, dis/abled or otherwise, are varied (2013). This theoretical

framework is a newly developed structure which utilizes theories of two historically

disconnected contexts to explore the connectivity of race and ableism. This framework can also

be employed while exploring the issues of gender, race, disability and juvenile justice which have

been largely ignored (Delgado & Stefancic, 2007).

Critical Feminist Theory

Engaging heavily with profuse amounts of literature makes one doubt and reflect their

position more than one time throughout this process. To say I negotiated and renegotiated my

theoretical lens for this project would be a gross understatement. I fell madly in love with the

word of Gwendolyn O’Neal (2000) as she fumbled through her discovery of herself as a feminist.

If feminism is about destroying boundaries that keep

people from each other and correcting the power

imbalances in society through forms of resistance and

opposition regardless of factors such as gender, race,

ethnicity, age class and religion, then the label fits me.

(p.197).

As far back as the 1800’s and early 1900’s research began with sexist social beliefs that

were based on gender stereotypes and later padded with facts found to support those researcher’s

particular social or political beliefs (Gould, 1981). Up until the 1970’s girls were rarely included

in the criminological studies by researchers (Belknap, 2001). Today those studies still tend to use

males as the focus of research (Thornberry & Krohn, 2003). Jennifer deSaxe (2016) posits that

critical feminist theory is a paradigm that educators can use to shed a light on forms of resistance,

empowerment, and experiences within the educational system. It is certainly true and necessary

if one is to look through a focused lens at girls who are at-risk of educational derailment.

The feminists of the 1960s and 1970s brought to light women who were indeed governed

by the rules of a patriarchal society, as they tackled issues of rape and domestic violence.

However, the criminal justice system was staunchly founded and run by males. So it should be of

no surprise that research on women and the justice system (a male dominated system) has been

largely overlooked (Belknap & Holsinger, 2006). Researchers recognize that even at the dawn

this new millennium, qualitative studies are still needed to better determine motivations and

processes that deal with girls and their experience with inequalities of the criminal justice system

and beyond (Holsinger, 2000).

Mainstream criminology has not focused on girls’ journeys into the criminal justice

system, the consequences of victimizations, or the experiences of girls which are undoubtedly

unique from boys (Holsinger, 2000). Most scholars do agree that much more detailed, specific

and descriptive qualitative analysis is needed to comprehend that pathway for girls into the

juvenile justice system (Robinson, 1994). According to Miller (2007) in order to better

understand crime and delinquency we must attest to the role that gender roles play in the

behavior and social interactions among students who are delinquent.

From the time girls are little, they are faced with many contradictions about what they can

and cannot do. Their roles are set by subservience and dependence, yet they are youth and there

is an expectation of exploring their independence (Alder, 1997). A major part of this exploration

is a girl’s sexuality. Chesney-Lind contend that even today the concern for girls’ morality and

sexuality result in unequal treatment by the juvenile justice system.

Research on girls’ delinquency has primarily concerned itself, with few exceptions, with

environmental and behavioral risk factors for antisocial behavior (Hartman, Turner, Diagle,

Exum, & Cullen, 2009; McKnight & Loper, 2002). Attributes and positive factors that may affect

the girls’ outcomes and keep a girl from ending up a delinquent have been relatively ignored.

While this project is situated within the realm of critical feminism, I recognize that

MacKinnon’s take on feminism inherently pessimistic (Munro, 2003). She states that all women

are victims to the male domination pitting one sex against the other (Munro, 2003). Foucault’s

theory of power helps to temper the radical feminism rhetoric without watering down the

message of dominance. Foucault theorizes that all humans are subject to the power struggle (e.g.

dominance) so while indeed the masculine dominate the feminine, the masculine are also

dominated by the more masculine.

Feminist have been criticized that they uphold a myopic view that all women experience

dominance (O’Neal, 2000). Feminist counter that the inability to acknowledge one’s dominance,

is in fact, the evidence that dominance exists (Munro, 2003). For girls in detention centers or

alternative education centers “subordination and hierarchies of knowledge constructions” abound

(Presser, 2005, p. 2067). What is clear is that critical feminism contends that girls who are

incarcerated, are so do to the subservient patriarchal society in which they are dominated and

ultimately victimized (Liddell & Martinovic, 2013).

Yet feminism is formulated on the notion that women must see themselves as agents of

change who are dedicated to ensuring that all women’s choices are actualized, even though they

may be a result of inadvertent patriarchy (Chambers, 2005). Therefore in this research project, I

recognize the subtleties of hierarchal male dominance within an alternative center of education;

however, my participants may not be able to identify this dominance and may even reject the

idea.

Conclusions

The reasons girls have been increasingly detained in juvenile detention centers continue

to be argued amongst the fields that work to support them. The speculation of reasons for

increased presence of girls in detention centers range from, the intolerance of non-compliant girls

(Morris, 2012), to the “protection” of the female juvenile offenders (Sherman, 2005). The

literature proposes possible risk factors that girls may exhibit prior to entry into a detention

facility; those tend to vary from the risk factors of their male adolescent counterparts (Pasko,

2010). A deeper understanding of their lived experiences may assist in creating effective

educational interventions or strategies.

Quantitative studies allow researchers to examine girls who are detained in the centers

from databases and survey data (Sanger et al., 2010). However, each girl comes to the center

with very personal experiences, each one different from the others. Further studies exploring girl

adolescent voices would allow the field to better understand the perceptions of education they

bring with them as they matriculate through an academic institution.

Further research will give these girls an opportunity for self-reflection about their

lives. They can then take a critical look into the choices they have made and the circumstances

which have led them to an alternative education center. The value of their experiences, for

service providers, juvenile justice workers and educators alike, cannot be overstated.

Much of the information needed to make viable changes throughout multiple systems lies

within information gleaned from distinct perspectives. Studies utilizing these individual voices to

examine issues directly related to the research seek to add much to the paucity of this subject in

the literature (Zhang et al., 2009).

Identification of the key issues surrounding this disturbing upward trend of juvenile

females being incarcerated have been established (Hubbard & Pratt, 2002) yet suggestions of

how to change this trajectory is lacking (Sherman, 2005). The research base on adjudicated girls

is sparse.

The literature states that educational outcomes are directly related to high risk behavior.

High risk behavior is directly related to entrée into the justice system. Therefore, understanding

the first steps these girls took towards contact with the juvenile justice system will better inform

the field and broaden the literature base.

CHAPTER THREE

METHODS

“I think it’s important to encourage young people to tell their own stories

and to speak openly about their own experiences…” (Alexander,

2010 p. 7).

Introduction

Story telling is a way in which humans have connected since the dawn of mankind.

Whether it is through hieroglyphics, mythology, folklore or fairy tales, stories have been at the

center of who we are and how we understand our lives. People teach through story, they warn

through story and they seek truth through story. However, “…narrative is everywhere, but not

everything is narrative” (Riessman, 2008, p. 4). “It is a way of thinking about identities

relationally” (Clandinin, 2013, p.21).

Narrative inquiry, as method and methodology elevates story telling for entertainment

into a new realm. According to Clandinin and Connelly (2000), narrative inquiry propels stories

into “intellectual territory” (p. 21). Within this territory stories are carefully attended to,

temporally organized and specifically sequenced. Riessman (2008) recommends that characters

be developed and settings be described with painstaking detail.

This study engaged girls in storytelling that were at risk of being incarcerated. I was

interested in the stories of their educational journeys and of their perceptions of how they ended

up in an alternative center.

As the population of incarcerated girls grows, our knowledge about who they are

(according to their perceptions and not societies) remains limited. Alexander (2010) advocates

we have to encourage youth to tell their stories. There are copious amounts of research

suggesting students’ voices have been widely overlooked, especially when looking at the school-

to-prison pipeline (Alexander, 2010; Smith & Mcintosh, 2007; Tasca, Zatz & Rodriguez, 2012;

Zahn, 2009) yet little is being done to rectify this issue.

This research focused on girls’ perceptions of their own storied path through school in

terms of race, disability, and gender. Engaging in questions that revolve around how those

perceptions may have impacted their educational journeys opens a dialogue between service

providers and those they service.

I assert that understanding these girls, who they are and how they identify themselves,

would better prepare teachers and current service providers to work with girls who may be at risk

for exclusion from school, incarceration or those who are recidivists (Stein et al., 2015).

Purpose

Chase (2003) states, prior to the start of any narrative inquiry study, she asks her students

to think of a population or group which they are interested in. Typically, they choose a

population that they feel they belong to or have a broad understanding of and go from there.

As my interest in the school-to-prison-pipeline grew, so did my desire to know more

about the girls who were sent through the pipeline. I wanted to know more, not about how

society saw them, but about how they saw themselves.

Storytelling is a reflective process. First, choosing the specific story to tell indicates to

the narrative that the teller of the story places significance on the event itself (Knight, 2009). This

study intended to explore those significant stories of the educational experiences of girls and any

intersectionality of their education with biological sex, race and disability from those students’

perspectives. The study addressed calls from the fields of educational and juvenile

justice for at-risk youth to be heard (Reid, 2014; Rich, Wilbert & Robertson, 2016; Sanger et al.,

2010; Stein et al., 2015; Walker, Muno, & Sullivan-Colglazaier, 2015).

Narrative Inquiry

There must be a common understanding of narrative inquiry prior to accepting my

utilization of the method and methodology. This study was grounded primarily in the work of

Connelly and Clandinin (1990). Narrative can simply be described as “the study of how humans

make meaning of experiences by endlessly telling and retelling stories about themselves that

both refigure the past and create purpose in the future” (p. 21).

According to Clandinin (2013) narrative inquiry can be seen as “…an approach to the

study of human lives conceived as a way of honoring lived experiences as a source of important

knowledge and understanding.” (p.17). Narratives are stories told in first person with plotlines,

and characters who are, most of the time, in some sort of predicament or struggle (Ollerenshaw

& Creswell, 2002).

This research was founded on those premises. The girls I interviewed had stories to tell.

These stories will add to the scholarly knowledge base of how youth at-risk travel on pathways

that lead them to the exit doors of school (Townsend Walker, 2012) and directed them to the

school to prison pipeline.

Using Narrative

Narrative inquiry engages participants in conversations that are pertinent to a specific

topic. The topic is addressed through questions, be it a guided protocol or perhaps a set of semi-

structured questions. The topics elicit the histories of the participants regarding their perceptions.

The work of narrative comes in the reflective process (O’Malley, 2014). The reflective

process is where the narrator (or researcher) co- constructs meaning of the stories being told with

the participant. Yet, narrative researchers understand that the co-constructors (and themselves)

are in a constant state of change. The reflection of a particular story varies based on the context

of life at the time the story is being told. John Dewey introduced the ideals of constructivist

knowledge to the field of education and the work of Connelly and Clandinin (2000) is firmly

rooted there.

Storied histories attend to personal reflections of participants and their perceptions of the

cause and effects related to certain instances (Creswell, 2006). In the instance of this study, the

story of each girl was critical to determining her perception of how her identity did or did not

directly impact her educational journey.

Reflection is powerful tool used to reexamine how a person’s experiences have shaped

their beliefs (Knight, 2009). Ultimately, narrative allows one to construct his/her own identity.

Through this evolution of identity, the researcher or participant can potentially spur on social

change (Riessman, 2008).

Narrative inquiry insists on the researcher exploring herself (past, present and future)

within the stories of others (Clandinin & Connelly, 2000). Narrative research is powerfully

autobiographical. “Narrative inquiry begins and ends with a respect for ordinary lived

experience” (Clandinin, 2013, p. 18).

I was excited to see the terms “idiosyncratic and narcissistic” (p.121) written right there

on the page, since all I kept thinking about since the conception of this research, was, is this self-

serving’? Am I just trying to figure out who I am?

The truth, in part, is yes. I came to realize, even though I had a relationship with my

research interest, that alone did not negate the larger social issues examined through the lived

experiences of others (Lather, 2007). When using qualitative methods of gathering data and

analyzing the data “the overall emphasis is not so much on the ‘truth’ but on its pragmatic

function in society at large” (Newbury, 2011 p. 338).

Polkinghorne’s (2007) suggestion for when to use narrative inquiry, clearly illustrates

why I have chosen to use this method to answer the research questions. He postulates that

narrative inquiry asks questions as to how do one’s experience effect what happened to him/her

later. How is the who, of who we are today, affected by the who we once were? Gaining practical

knowledge of situations, experiences or circumstances is often shared through story- telling (Orr,

1990). Using narrative inquiry allows us to understand our storied lives by thinking

with, and not just through, stories. Narrative inquiry allows for deeper exploration of the impacts

these girls’ identities have had on their life’s journeys (Clandinin, 2013).

The Intersection of Ontology and Narrative Inquiry

Ontology can be defined as determining the nature of reality (Creswell, 2007). Multiple

realities and the construction of those realities depend on the individuals who create them (Guba,

1996). While conceptualizing this research project for the better part of two years, my personal

narrative regarding my own constructed reality was naturally at the forefront of this research.

“How we come to know ourselves, the world and how we operate in that world are all

products of narrative construction” (Wolgemuth, 2007 p.69). The researcher is part of the

researched. It is the connection that draws the researcher to do the research in the first place.

Research Questions Revisited

At the heart of each story is the interpretation of the multiplicity that is the human

experience (Clandinin & Huber, 2002). It is the concern of a narrative inquirer to work with the

participant to interpret the experience and make meaning of the past. This meaning making is

natural and necessary (Clandinin & Huber, 2002).

We all live storied lives. We become entrenched in who we are or in relaying who we

were when we tell or retell stories. The perspective changes through different spans of time

(O’Malley, 2014). It is an iterative process. Each person’s interpretation of a story is a complex

web of their stories entangled with stories they have once heard.

Co-construction in the midst of such entanglement is the nature of narrative inquiry and

subsequently is what causes the method to be considered problematic by positivists (Lather & St.

Pierre, 2013). This interconnectivity of researcher, participant, method and analysis allows the

full scope of narrative inquiry (as a theory and methodology) to expose the research to all who

are part of the social context (Lincoln et al., 2011). Co-constructing meaning from narrative

inquiry is an epistemological assurance (Creswell, 2007).

A consumer of the research is bound to the story by resonance. Without resonance, the

story momentarily hangs in the air around the consumer, never quite able to land and take root.

Research Questions

In order to gain insight to the social context and subsequent educational journeys of the

girls in this study, I proposed the following research questions:

1. What stories do girls being educated in alternative settings tell about their education?

2. To what extent is race featured in the girl’s stories of their educational

experiences?

3. To what extent is disability featured in the girl’s stories of their educational

experiences?

4. To what extent is gender featured in the girl’s stories of their educational

experiences?

Ethical Considerations

Informed Consent. It is according to the ruling governance of the University of South

Florida that the Internal Review Board (IRB) reviewed the proposal of this research prior to any

collection of data. I adhered to all protocols set forth by the university, including, but not limited

to: consent forms for guardians, assent forms for minors and interview protocol. Prior to

conducting any research, I obtained a letter of support from the facility and had IRB approval.

Anonymity. In order to maintain confidentiality there are key descriptors in each

narrative that have been changed to protect the participants of this study. I addressed these

changes in a manner that kept with the concept of the story but changed the identifying details to

ensure my participants and their alternative sites were protected (Laoire, 2007).

Relationships. As per most universities’ standard operating procedures, researchers are

required to grant assurances that they will do no harm to their participants. These particular

participants have been categorized as a marginalized group creating a unique dilemma in the way

the research is approached. These girls’ interviews could not be viewed simply as data. We

inevitably formed a relationship which was fostered as the girls worked with me as co-

researchers.

These girls were desperate for positive adult interaction. Not only was I someone

disconnected from their pasts, but I wanted to know all about them. They allowed me entrée into

some very dark times in their lives. They trusted me with their feelings, their hopes, dreams, and

ultimately, trusted me to tell their stories.

Confidentiality. This type of research insists on anonymity, the utmost confidentiality

and trust (Clandinin & Huber, 2002). For this purpose, the girls’ names were changed and

transcribed data was housed separately from any taped recordings of the interviews both of

which were entered into computers with password protection. Printed transcripts were placed into

a locked file cabinet.

Prior to the interviews, I discussed with the girls how we would be using pseudonyms

for each of them, since their information would be disseminated (Bar-On, 1996). The girls chose

their own pseudonyms and the spellings of each: Jocelyn (girl one) and Shay (girl two).

If at any time during the project a participant was uncomfortable with a question, she had

the right to refuse to answer and was informed of this at the beginning of each interview session.

She also had the right to remove herself from the study altogether with no repercussions from me

or from the facility. To ensure each girl remained aware of her volunteer status, I stated at the

commencing of each meeting that this interview process was voluntary and that if at any time she

so desired, she could chose to leave the project without consequence.

Bringing up the Past. As an interviewer I asked my participants to retell stories that

may have had a powerful impact on the way they viewed their current circumstances. Bar-On

(1996) cautions that when meeting a new interviewee there are a series of questions you should

ask yourself before proceeding with the interview. “Do you really feel like interfering in his or

her life? Will you be able to live with the consequences of this encounter and intervention?” (p.9)

As we worked through the storied lives of each girl’s experiences, talking about the past

could have brought up bad memories or issues she may not have yet dealt with fully. That is why

for every interview session a behavior specialist/therapist was nearby. This behavior specialist

was familiar with the girl and would have worked through any issues that might have arisen. No

such incidences occurred during our interviews.

Interviewing Ethics. In order to ensure the highest standards of ethical practices when

interviewing, I asked each participant at each interview for their permission to tape record our

conversation. Once I received permission from the girl, I then tape-recorded her interview stating

that I was recording her and that she had the option to stop the interview and the recording

process at any time. Secondly, I discussed with the girls that I was a mandated reporter at each

meeting. I explained that this meant if she divulged that she was being hurt in any way or had

plans to hurt herself or others in any way, it was my responsibility to report this. Once I gave my

explanation and she said she understood, we were able to move forward with the interview.

The Role of the Researcher

As a woman born and reared in a post-feminist era, I bear witness to inequities which, in

my female view, still plague our society. Consequently, I utilized a critical theory paradigm to

engage in research with the purpose of fostering a society free from injustice (Geertz, 1973). My

work with this project cannot be parceled out as researcher and the researched. I am a part of this

work as it is a part of me. I cannot deny the fact that I am a woman who could have easily

checked off a list of factors associated with girls who are at-risk.

This close connection to my participants would prove challenging at times during the

interview process. I would hear stories that brought me back to a time and place where there was

a definite fork-in-the-proverbial road of good choices and bad. Those discussions were the most

difficult for me as a person. My researcher hat would inadvertently slip off. My past experiences

collided with the stories my participants told and helped me to deconstruct my own beliefs and

successive decisions (Guba & Lincoln, 1994).

Stories are what tie people to places and connect personal experiences across spans of

time (Caine & Estefan, 2011). As a narrative researcher, attention had to be given to time, place

and societal context of the stories of both my lived experiences and the lived experiences of my

participants (Clandinin, Pushor, & Orr, 2007; Clandinin & Connelly, 2006). The co-construction

of the shared relational work (Clandinin & Connelly, 1990) allowed me to be seen, not as an

expert, but as a “co-researcher in relational narrative inquiry” (Clandinin & Huber, 2002, p.794).

Therefore, my role as the researcher was one who engaged the participant in active questioning

and listening while co-constructing meaning to unify stories.

Setting

Setting is as critical in a narrative inquiry as the participants’ stories themselves. The

setting can determine the tone of the story. Setting can maximize the ability (or inability) of the

participant to be forthcoming with his/her story. It can also enhance or discourage rapport.

Working with the girls in this study, my research was conducted within the walls of two separate

alternative education centers which represented the same organization.

These facilities were and are located in a southern state situated in two discrete urban

cities. The centers represented the same organization, but their locations were vastly different. The

primary mission was focused on education and behavior management. The alternative schools

where the interviews were conducted were voluntary, as well as, mandated day-treatment facilities

where students work to regain lost credits for middle school or high school.

The centers were highly structured facilities where the participants work primarily on

computers to move through curriculum with a teacher facilitator. Participants also learned about

community service and engaged in daily affective skills lessons.

The organization was originally established strictly to educate those students who were

mandated by a judge to attend the alternative school. The center currently accepted students who

either personally, or with the guidance of professionals (counselors, educational administrators

etc.), felt they would be more successful there than at a typical public school.

All students in in both centers shared a history of expulsions and arrests for various

reasons. Those reasons included, but were not limited to the following charges: drugs, weapons,

battery, rape, and or theft charges. They ranged from misdemeanors to felonies. I identified this

organization to conduct this research based primarily on my proximity and the possibility of

gaining access to students.

Table 1.

Outcome Report 2014

Center 1

Center 2

Total students: 104

Completers: 79

Completers: 97

Priors: 100%

Average age of 1st offense: 13.1

Average age of 1st offense: 13.7

Minority: 73%

Minority: 48%

Females: 9

Females: 8

Recruitment

Center one: I originally met with the Educational Director and spoke to her about my

study. She was very supportive. She suggested the best approach would be to meet with all of the

girls at one time. I scheduled a time with her that I would be able to come in and speak.

I arrived at that scheduled date and time and was escorted to the conference room. All the

girls that were at the center that particular day were in the conference room with me on that

morning. I discussed the scope of the study and what it would entail. This conversation initially

invoked a lot interest. I handed out consents with the proper protocols and gave each girl who

was interested a packet to take home for their guardian’s permission.

Center two: I had a phone conference with the director of the organization and discussed

what the study would entail. He was also very supportive, yet cautious. He stated that his

students struggled with truancy and was concerned that I would not get what I needed from them

in a timely manner. I explained that I was willing to give it a try if he was. He gave me the

consent to move forward with presenting the scope of the study to the girls at his center’s

location and I met with the five girls being serviced there in the main office. I presented my study

within five minutes and gave each girl a packet for them to review with their guardian, if they

were interested.

My discussion with the girls for both studies in essence laid out my inclusionary criteria.

Those who were interested in participating needed to be at the alternative center receiving

educational services. They also would have to identify themselves as girls. They had to be

willing to talk to me about their educational experiences and any prior offenses or encounters

with law enforcement. Participants also had to be willing to be a part of a minimum of five

interviews which would last between 60-90 minutes each. I stated several times that this was

entirely voluntary. I closed with letting them know if they started the interview process and

didn’t like it, they could simply quit without any negative consequences.

I originally had a total of four girls who were immediately interested: two from each

center. I sent four more consent documents home, as the original documents were misplaced by

the girls. Two girls immediately returned their consent forms and provided assent for the

interviews to take place: one girl from each center. One of the four girls never returned her

consent while the last of the four girls, turned hers in a month later.

The program abruptly stopped servicing girls and I was unable to move forward with the

third participant’s interview. Ultimately I was able to move through the interview process with

two girls: one from each center.

Center one participant was a fourteen-year-old girl. Center two’s participant was a

sixteen-year-old girl. My focus was with this age range in order to solicit significant

descriptions. I relied on them to discuss their previous educational experiences in detail and also

any life experiences they believed contributed to their placement at the center. I gathered

extensive information about each participant’s life and the context surrounding the stories told,

which aided in providing rich description (Creswell & Creswell, 2007) for the results in the

following chapter.

Although there are no set criteria for sample size, as it relates to narrative inquiry,

generally speaking sample sizes are small (Creswell & Creswell, 2007). The purpose of narrative

inquiry is to adhere to the minutiae of an individual’s story. It is critical that the researcher does

not attempt to generalize experiences. The experience or story is as unique as the individual who

is narrating. The appropriate number of participants is not determined by the researcher, yet by

the scope of the research, the methodology, and research questions (Tai & Ajjawi, 2016). The

sample size of two girls in this study allowed for variance in experiences without compromising

the depth and breadth of the stories being explored.

Data Collection

Interviews. In order to elicit life stories, it is vital that interview questions revolve around

the story the narrator has to tell (Chase, 2003). Interviews were used as a way to engage the

participants in deep and meaningful conversations. This exploration was developed to address

the phenomenon they had experienced (Hatch, 2002). In order for me to keep the research

questions as a focus of the interview, the conversation was guided. Broad questions were asked to

hone in on the specific research questions being explored. Listening during interviews is a key

component of narrative inquiry (Josselson et al., 2003). Being open to the story and actively

listening are skills that take practice (Maple, Edwards, Plummer, & Minichiello, 2010).

I solicited stories pertinent to the research questions; however, to ensure active listening

took place during the interviews, I asked follow-up questions that were closely guided by

listening to the narrator’s story and followed a logical flow (Chase, 2003). I was intimately

familiar with my interview protocol, which was crucial to the fluidity of the interview. I knew if

I was thoughtful in creating my interview guide I would be more likely to elicit stories and

answers to my questions without having to directly ask the question (Chase, 2003).

Interview Procedures. Center one: All interviews were conducted in the conference

space. This space could be locked from either end and had windows that looked out toward the

parking lot. It also had an exterior door that lead to the parking lot. This room was utilized for all

types of gatherings from administrative conferences to counseling sessions. The room was a

multiple purpose space with little connotation.

My participant and I conducted all of her interviews in that one space. In the room there

was a sink and a conference table that was surrounded by rolling chairs. The behavior specialist

office shared a wall with the conference room and she was available at all times during the

interview sessions.

There were five interviews conducted. All interviews were approximately sixty minutes in

length. I started each interview with a reminder that this study was voluntary and if she decided

that she wanted to no longer participate, she had the right to leave without any consequences. I

also reminded her each time we met that I was tape recording our conversation with her

permission and then I continued the interview.

Each interview was naturally transcribed within five to seven days. After the first meeting,

the proceeding interviews began with a recap of our discussion and my understanding of the

stories told in the previous session. Each of the interviews done with this participant were

conducted during a time in the day when academic content was not being taught (i.e. lunch or

activity time).

Center two: This participant’s interviews were done in two locations within the center.

The first was a common room we were able to use when no one else used the room. The second

room we used was the behavior specialist’s office. He gave me permission to conduct interviews

in his room and the participant told me she liked this location best.

We conducted three out of five interviews in the behavior specialist office. The other two

interviews were conducted in the common room simply because the behavior specialist was

using his office at those times. His office and the common room shared a wall and I knew if we

needed him at any time I could get to him quickly and effortlessly. While we were in his office,

he walked the corridors of the extremely small center. He was always within audible range if the

participant or I needed him for anything.

All interviews were audio taped with the participant’s permission and transcribed within

five to seven days. Each interview started with me reminding the participant that her working

with me was completely voluntary and if she chose to stop doing so, there would be no negative

consequence to her whatsoever. Once she recognized that verbally, I would review her stories

from the previous interviews to be sure I understood them the way she meant them to be

established as shown in figure 1 above.

Each interview lasted between 60 and 90 minutes. We were able to talk a bit longer at

this center than in Center One due to this participant being ahead in her course work. While I

would come around lunch time each meeting, she could speak with me into her affective lesson

or into her coursework because of how far she had advanced since coming to the center.

Interview Content. The interview process was cyclical. There was a pattern to our

meetings in an attempt to create familiarity with an unfamiliar process. This was intentionally

developed for the sake of the participant but unintentionally helped me with the interviews as

well.

In the first interview, I discussed my background and why I was interested in hearing

their stories. It was integral to the study that I facilitated and fostered a relationship with each of

my participants. My positioning as a researcher, and simply as an adult, could have been off

putting to one or both of the girls.

The interviews took place in a location where adults typically mimic parole officers. I

wanted to be sure that each girl understood my purpose of speaking with her was not punitive. It

was critical to state explicitly my role as a person who was interested in their educational

journeys and life experiences. In an attempt to lessen the impact of the interview location, I

conducted the first session as a “getting-to-know-you” session (i.e. interview).

During the first interview session, I gave each girl her own personal journal. The purpose

of the journal was to encourage the girls to write anything inside that they felt was pertinent to

their lives. It could have been something they would like to add that we may not have discussed

in the interview. Or perhaps more detail about a topic or event we did discuss in an interview.

They could have also written their feelings about the day, about our interview, or they could have

created a visual representation of a situation if they were finding it difficult to discuss. I told

them this journal could also be used to jot down ideas, thoughts, and representations of situations

that had nothing to do with our interviews. It was their journal to use as they wished.

It was vital that the girls understood that these journals would be collected by me and

used as data. If a girl objected to her journal being given to me, I would have made copies of the

journal and left her with the original.

The second, third and fourth interviews were also semi-structured in the sense that broad

questions were predetermined (See Appendix A). That was an attempt to allow the focus of the

research to remain at the forefront of the conversation. These interviews delved into the girls’

school experiences, life experiences and prior contact with law enforcement.

The fifth and final interview consisted of follow-up questions or clarifying questions

(See Appendix B). I reviewed previous answers to the interview questions to ensure clarity

within the story line and the meaning of the answers. Caine & Estefan (2011) remind narrative

inquirers to never forget, that this sort of work relies on the generosity of those we inquire about.

Therefore, it is critical to work with the interviewee through the co-construction of meaning of

the stories told. The final interview allowed for a wrap-up of thoughts, ideas and an opportunity

to address any outstanding questions from either the participant or myself.

At times, the girls might have had questions they wanted me to ask that I had not

considered or perhaps I belabored a point too long (Tierney, 1994). With that being said, I upheld

the vision of my questions as springboards, but understood that these girls may have had more or

less to say. I welcomed these types of interactions and encouraged the girls to speak to the points

they felt were pertinent to their stories.

The fifth interview was different for both girls. Center one: I had not come to a

concluding point of the interview process with my first participant by the fifth interview. I fully

intended to interview her at least one more time if not two more times. She however, was

arrested during the period of time the interviews were taking place. Consequently, she was never

able to return to the center since it no longer serviced girls at that location.

Center two: I anticipated the fifth interview as being the last for my second participant. I

was able to gain perspective on how she felt about telling her stories. I wanted to know if this

was an intimidating experience or perhaps an empowering one. Gathering this data might have

seemed menial, however; the catalytic validity of the project could be explored through answers

about how she felt about the interview questions, process and any potential changes the girls

were inclined to make as a result of our discussions.

Figure 1. Data Collection Process

Student Journals. Barone and Eisner (2006) discuss arts based research (ABR),

specifically non-literary ABR as having an “illuminating effect” (p.102). They argue ABR can

help the participant and researcher make meaning of the collected data. Clandinin and Connelly

(2000) also support the use of non-literary narratives (poems, pictures, songs etc.) in narrative

inquiry as a source of data. Since many of these girls have historically been victims of trauma,

eliciting their stories as well as drawings, poems, questions, songs or any other forms of visual

art may help them discern their perceptions of school. These data were to be collected by giving

each participant a composition book (journal) and a pencil. The girls were free to add whatever

they chose to this journal with the understanding that the journal entries will serve as an adjunct

to their stories.

(

)

The girls may have been hesitant to discuss the event(s) that led to their placement in the

alternative school center. Having the ability to write or draw about their experiences could have

encouraged them to discuss their stories in a way that is meaningful for them.

It was important for my participants to have an “out” in regards to answering my

questions. I reminded these girls at each meeting that their participation was voluntary. If they

chose to continue but feel like a spoken story is too difficult, I intended to redirect them to the

journal. The journal could also be used after our meetings. The participants could use the journal

to ask questions they thought of after our meeting ends, or perhaps they may have a story they

want to add to one they have already told. The journal had the possibility of acting as a reflection

journal, correspondence journal or a place to create images, poems or songs. The journals may

have also provided the girls a safe distance between my guiding questions and their emotions.

Researcher Reflexive Journal. Of equal importance to actively listening, was

observation of the interviewee during the interview process. Picking up non-verbal cues and a

participant’s body language went in conjunction with the listening process. Non-verbal cues,

body language and questions left unanswered were captured in my personal journal as a “blend

of detailed field notes…interwoven with journal reflections” (Clandinin & Connelly, 2000, p.

103). The added data source allowed me to review the interviews themselves as a whole and not

in decontextualized segments (Clandinin & Huber, 2002). This reflexive journal illustrated

important details of the design of the project, as well as, illuminating transformations that took

place in regard to myself and my participants (Huber, Li, Murphy, Nelson, & Young, 2014;

Mahoney, 2007).

Data Analysis

Interviews. I have employed a holistic content analysis. Such an analysis is particularly

interested in the “who, what, when, where and how” of the individual stories told by the

participants (Beal, 2013). This type of analysis aligned with my epistemological perspective that

narratives are layered and merged to create the story told (Spector-Mersel, 2010). This type of

analysis also allowed for the story to be temporally positioned as the narrative spans the

participant’s life time (Huber et al., 2014). The process I utilized was adapted from Polkinghorne

(2007) and Beal’s (2013) work to analyze the interviews in a linear timeline to create a cohesive

plot within the narrative. This was a six-step iterative process.

The first step in the analysis was a read through of all transcriptions in their totality. This

gave a wide-lens view of the interviews as a whole. The second step entailed reading each girl’s

story on their own twice more (Polkinghorne, 2007) for a total of three separate readings of the

transcripts. Thirdly, change of events were identified and coded. A change of event was defined

as “…a noteworthy happening…” (Beal, 2013). Throughout the interviews, no matter how

focused my questions were, the participants jumped from story to story. Each jump in a story,

major incident or new story was considered a change in event. It became evident that certain

change of events were critical components of each girl’s story and themes began to emerge.

Some themes were shared while others were independent to the participant.

The fourth step in the process was to support the change of events through the coding of

data elements and narrative linkages. Data elements are the salient pieces of a story that

“…illuminate context of which an action took place…” (Beal, 2013, p.696). I operationally

defined data elements as all contextual conversation regarding educational experiences or the

focus of this study (race, disability and gender). Narrative linkages refer to the meaning making

that occurs when retelling a life event. Therefore, when reflection occurred during storytelling, it

was coded as a narrative linkage. This reflection was a critical component to the process as a way

of supporting the plot development (Knight, 2009) and including the participant as a co-

researcher.

Reflection is foundational tenet of what elevates narrative inquiry from storytelling.

Discussion of why things happened the way they did or how an event impacted the storyteller’s

life, is a fundamental principle of narrative inquiry.

The fifth step was to situate the plots temporally. Temporality is a crucial to narrative

research and ensures that analysis considers the past, present and the future (Ollrenshaw &

Creswell, 2002). Categorizing each (i.e. past, present and future) helps to inform continuity of the

plot. The change of events, narrative linkages and data elements were sorted into past, present or

future.

The sixth step was to construct an outline using the coded and organized information.

Establishing an outline of the narrative, supported my analysis by sorting the specific aspects of

the stories. I then created a blue print for the narrative results.

Once the plot was situated I used the outline to create the narrative via a combination of

my own narrative of the experience and direct quotes from the girls. The girls’ voices are

distinguished by italics within the chapter. I have separated the narratives to illustrate the

complexity of each girl’s story and to honor her individual experience; however, cross narrative

comparisons were hard to ignore. Themes emerged from the storied lives of each girl. The

themes were coded and helped to inform the structure of the stories told. This is not for the

purpose of generalization, but to expose the similarities (and differences) of these two girls.

Figure 2. Process of analysis

Student Journals. Aesthetic representations are another level of narrative inquiry.

Riessman (2008) suggests that visual representations of experience-in photographs, performance

art, and other media-can enable others to see as a participant sees, and to feel (p. 142). Riessman

(2008) also purports researchers must ask how or why images were created. It was important to

the study to clarify the intended meaning of the images in the journal. In the case of literary text,

I wanted to analyze that text as I would interview data. Using the participant’s journals I would

have been coding data elements, change of events and any reflective imagery or visual

representations to help formulate the plot (Polkinghorne, 2007). Unfortunately, both participants

failed to ever return their journals. I would remind them after each interview session and ask

prior to the start of a new interview session but to no avail. Therefore no analysis was completed.

Researcher Reflexive Journal. An assurance to the ethics and rigor of qualitative

research is public reflexivity (Bishop & Shepard, 2011). This reflexivity must be done not simply

after the interview of a participant/co-researcher, but throughout the entire project. Not only must

the researcher do so to document her own background and how her stories comingle with the

stories of their participants, but also to denote how relationships unfold. This helps the reader to

better visualize the relationships that have been created in order for the story to be told

(Mahoney, 2007). This relationship affects the story.

I used a personal reflexivity journal as a way to address issues of interpreter stance

(Rogan & de Kock, 2005). This personal journal collected critical data related to the process of

the project to ensure that the integrity of the study remained intact. The personal journal was also

kept for reflection through the analysis to aid with the decision making process (Beal, 2013).

Relevant data was collected in the form of field notes. This data allowed me to keep a

record regarding context and questions which came to mind after the interview had concluded. I

was able to review contextual information based on the notes in my reflexive journal for each

interview. It proved to be most helpful while I constructed the narrative results as the emotions,

questions and my overall thoughts were immediately accessible. The written details of the day’s

events and emotions brought the interview back to life while reviewing the journal in conjunction

with the transcripts.

Trustworthiness

Narrative researchers make claims about life events and the subsequent meaning people

place on those events. There has long been an effort to synthesize criteria for validity within the

field of qualitative research (Koelsch, 2013). The key issue of validity for me as a narrative

researcher was making a claim (in this case a life event and the meaning it held to the participant)

justifiable to the reader of the research (Polkinghorne, 2007). Validity for narrative inquiry then

comes not from claims which are substantiated.

The contribution of a narrative inquiry is more often

intended to be the creation of a new sense of meaning

and significance with respect to the research topic than

it is to yield a set of knowledge claims that might

incrementally add to the knowledge in the field.

(Clandinin & Connelly, 2000, p.42)

Narrative inquiry, at times, situates itself among Deweian thought that knowledge is

gathered through experience (Caduri, 2013). While there are many researchers who adhere to the

- hypothesis, claim, truth- rendition of whether or not a knowledge claim is indeed valid, I am not

one of them.

Hendry (2009) suggests that perhaps the ancient Greeks had it right all along; there are

multiple ways of knowing. Hendry (2009) also posits that perhaps those who wander and get lost

during research push inquiry to the next level and outside of contented paradigms.

As a result of extensive dialogue throughout the past twenty years about the

epistemology of narrative inquiry and analysis, an evolution of terminology has occurred (Baily,

1996). The word internal validity was replaced with terms such as credibility, transferability, and

reliability to ensure goodness and trustworthiness within a qualitative study (Lincoln & Guba,

1985). In order to ensure trustworthiness the following quality indicators were employed in this

study: authenticity, credibility, verisimilitude and goodness.

Authenticity. Participants’ stories are conveyed through rich, thick description which

serves as the authenticity of the process (Baily, 1996). Keeping the age of the girls above thirteen

was a conscious decision to ensure each story could be told in depth. The girls’ stories were

elicited through open-ended questions that would promote thoughtful discussions of the issues

brought forth in this study.

Credibility. Credibility of the analysis and subsequent narrative is evidenced and

established through the transparency of the process. I was able to review the transcripts and/or

the tape recordings prior to each interview. Before the next interview began, the participant and I

would discuss the details of the interview from the previous meeting. We were acutely aware that

we were co-constructing this narrative as co-researchers. This type of member checking ensured

the credibility of the process. This also ensured that the story would be told as intended according

to the participant.

My reflection journal, which housed my field notes, helped to inform my coding

progression. Each supported my interpretations (Polkinghorne, 2007) and added to the credibility

of the process and analysis. I used my personal reflection journal as a means to navigate any

changing theories or insights while engrossed in the study and throughout the analysis (Clandinin

& Connelly, 2000). The journal offered me a place to make connections and discuss how I

situated myself within the narratives of each girl’s story (Huber et al., 2014).

Verisimilitude. Verisimilitude refers to whether or not the narrative results seem likely or

true. While some might argue, fact can be stranger than fiction; this quality indictor might prove

to be the most important.

If the narrative results do not resonate with the consumer of the research, then one cannot,

or will not, move to the last quality indicator discussed here: goodness. Goodness indicates that

narratives are not designed to exploit, but to move society to recognition and eventually social

change. I did, however, review my plot outline with a qualitative expert. The purpose of this

expert was not to legitimize my plotline, but to determine the verisimilitude of

the story (Baily, 1996). Ultimately, verisimilitude of any narrative is determined by the reader of

the research.

Goodness. Lastly, the quality for criteria for goodness, as it relates to critical qualitative

research, lies within the ability to expose unearned privilege in society and create a movement

toward social justice (Denzin & Lincoln, 2011). This study aimed to give girls who had a

multiplicity of societal disadvantages (according to western cultural norms) a platform to tell

their story. It was my honor and privilege to relay the stories to stakeholders who are interwoven

in the girls’ educational trajectories and move towards a paradigm of support and social change

(Annamma et al., 2013).

Catalytic Validity

Lather (1986) purports that conceptualizing credible data it is critical to when working

with openly ideological research. Lather continues:

Once we recognize that just as there is no neutral education,

there is no neutral research, we no longer need to apologize

for unabashedly ideological research and its open commitment

to using research to criticize and change the status quo (p.67).

Catalytic validity is the knowledge of one’s reality as the catalyst to changing said reality

(Lather, 1986). Determining whether a project has catalytic validity is based upon the degree to

which a person or group is moved to create change for themselves or for the group as a whole.

This was apparent with one participant from center two. She began to make changes in

her life in order to ensure positive life outcomes. She was able to be released from the program

prior to its closing. She made up so many credits in the limited time she was at the center that she

was able to enroll in high school for the following fall. She also discussed helping other girls,

possibly in terms of a career goal. She discussed helping girls who are in the position she once

was in. While that was not the intention or the aim of this particular project, that revelation did

arise and will be discussed further in the following chapter.

Conclusions

Narrative inquiry is a powerful tool to engage people in the reflective process of telling

their story (Knight, 2009). This study aimed to work with girls as co-researchers empowering

them to speak their truths about what had occurred in their lives regarding their education. While

focusing on race, disability, and gender unexpected themes emerged within the context of their

stories (Rich, Wilson & Robertson, 2016).

It was critical to illuminate the experiences of these two girls who were straddling the

line between student and inmate. The narratives of their experiences illustrate the difficulties

they once faced and their challenges of today. My intention is to disseminate the information

ascertained from the stories told by the girls. Their stories will add to the limited body of

knowledge about at-risk girls by at-risk girls.

CHAPTER FOUR

RESULTS

Fieldwork for the researcher-as-supplicant is predicated upon an unequivocal

acceptance that knowledge of the person being researched (at least regarding the

particular questions being asked) is greater than that of the researcher (England,

1994)

Purpose of the Study

The purpose of this study is to investigate the individual perspectives of girls (i.e. key

stakeholders) being educated within an alternative education center. While there is a growing

body of literature examining the pathways and risk factors of incarcerated girls (DeHart &

Moran, 2015) there is still a gap in the research where their voices have yet to be heard. This

study illuminates the intersection of race, disability, and gender on the pathways to expulsion and

placement into an alternative center (Shippen et al., 2012) according to girls currently navigating

their way through the system.

Research shows that girls who have been incarcerated, or who are at risk for being

incarcerated, are more often than not, victims of trauma (Sharpe, 2016). Physical, sexual or

emotional abuse and/or witnessing extreme family dysfunction (ex. substance abuse, domestic

violence, or parental incarceration etc.) are all contributing factors to girls’ delinquency

(Chesney-Lind, 2004; Diagle, Cullen & Wright, 2007; Gilfus, 2002). This informed the research

questions guiding the present investigation.

Research Questions:

1. What stories do girls being educated in alternative settings tell about their education?

2. To what extent is race featured in the girl’s stories of their educational

experiences?

3. To what extent is disability featured in the girl’s stories of their educational

experiences?

4. To what extent is gender featured in the girl’s stories of their educational

experiences?

The structure of the findings is a written narrative pertaining to each girl. The context of

each girl’s life and her pathway to the alternative center is described thematically. There were

similarities among the girls’ stories as well as divergence and those are reflected in the

descriptions of the findings as well. Similarities are noted by utilizing the same section title in

each narrative. Stylistically, the girls’ stories are written in italics to easily navigate through the

dialogue. Lastly, all identifiable information has been changed or disguised to ensure participant

anonymity.

Jocelyn

Setting. I have called the alternative center for weeks. I have tried to email and call with

no avail. These people are very difficult to get in touch with. Oh and the participant I have

secured is second to none in elusive man euvers. Not with me though, with alternative center. I

can only presume she hates it. She has done just about everything you could think of to get out of

going. As I pulled up to the alternative center for the first time, I have a better understanding as to

why.

When you get off the exit from the interstate, I am flanked by eighteen wheelers all

while there is one approaching in my rearview mirror at a high rate of speed. This is an industrial

location to say the least. I scan the sides of the street for any signs of a school or signage that

may show me the way. My GPS barks out orders to turn right at the light and I of course obey.

The only thing I see along the horizon is a barbed wire fence, several armed guards and

countless big rigs. Come on Garmin! I’m certain that damn thing has led me to the wrong location,

again. I drive up to the guard house, roll down my window and ask if he has ever heard of the

school (alternative center) I am looking for. He points behind me. I am utterly confused.

I turn my car around and notice a small sign located on a spit of grass off the bustling

highway. Sure enough: there it is. The building is set far off the road, which is probably a good

thing considering it shares a driveway with trucks hauling freight container s filled with

merchandise off the ships docked at the port. The only other street is a main thoroughfare. It is

packed with cars and trucks fighting for space on a road that was constructed for a time which

has long passed.

The center is brown with a black roof. It looks like a double -wide sales trailer you may

have seen on construction sites. I’m struggling to imagine this as a school, but I do my best to

push down my prejudice about the building and park my car.

When I walk in, there is no one at the desk. I see a call bell and the sign next to it says to

ring the bell, but I don’t want to seem pretentious. The first thing I think about when I ring a bell

is a butler. The possibility that I might need to ring this call be ll, has me questioning being here;

as though I am the master of this house and I am ringing for someone to fetch something or

worse, fetch someone, for me. It feels off. So I stand there. I cough, clear my throat, do pretty

much anything I can to make en ough noise to get

someone’s attention.

The front door opens behind me and it is a police officer. School resource officers are a

staple here. His presence is striking simply do to his size. He is a very large man. He ducks his

head when entering the door. He swaggers in. He is clearly familiar with the place. He seems

me standing in the office at the desk.

Has anyone come up here? Have you been helped?

Oh, not yet. But I just got here.

I lie. I’m a bit embarrassed that I am just standing here. He walks around the counter,

through the counter- height door that separates those who work here and guests not permitted

quite yet. He disappears into a back office.

It is less than ten seconds until a woman comes into the lobby to introduce herself. I

recognize her name immediately. She smiles at me and I am instantly settled by her friendliness.

She announces that she will go get Jocelyn for me and I wait a little more.

Newspaper articles are framed and hanging in the office. Certificates touting the positive

impact the organization has had on the youth it serves and the community-at-large cover the dark

brown paneled walls. Declarations of the good deeds done in this doublewide, double extended

trailer that houses approximately 30 boys and girls are everywhere the eye can land.

The sound the floors make when you walk on them is hollow. It’s as though the building

stands on cement blocks and lacks a strong foundation. I find it ironic considering the work they

do here. I smirk to myself and go back to anxiously hoping Jocelyn likes me.

Introductions

She walks through the door with several adults hovering around her. She has a huge

smile on her face. I am instantly excited that she seems to be in such a good mood and better yet,

she is happy to see me. She is a tall, thinly built Black girl with doe-like large brown eyes. Her

hair is short and sticking straight up all over. She immediately apologizes for this and I think

what a girl thing to do. When she walks through the next door, she comes directly towards me.

She gets very close. Almost like she wants to hug me, but I am uncomfortable with this and reach

out my right hand and rub her shoulder with my left. I thank her for coming to see me. My

reaction does not seem to faze her. She remains as bubbly and upbeat as she was seconds ago.

She twists her hair between her finger and thumb with her left hand and shakes my hand

with her right. I introduce myself and she says she knows who I am and what I am doing. I

review the necessary documents with her and ask for her permission to audio record our

conversation. She agrees.

She makes it known immediately that she hasn’t had lunch yet. I find this hard to believe

since it is almost 1:00 PM. I can tell she is fishing, wondering if I brought her anything to eat. I

didn’t, but I should have. I tell her I will be certain to bring her a snack next time. She reassures

me with, I love you already.

I ask when her birthday is and we realize our birthdays are four days a part: instant

chemistry. We talk about how great our astrological sign is and we laugh about how much older I

am. The rapport building session is going better than anticipated and I am thrilled to be here

working with her.

I show her several spiral bound notebooks in a variety of colors. I tell her since she is the

first person I am seeing today; she gets to choose the color she wants. She chooses purple. I hand

her the notebook, which I am calling a journal. I ask her to use it to jot down ideas, picture,

poems, stories or anything she wants and we can discuss her entries in person. Or if she writes

something she doesn’t want to speak about directly we can correspond through post-it notes as

long as she lets me know. She seems excited. It reminds me of how I used to be when I would go

school shopping and pick out my own supplies. She is all smiles.

Background

Jocelyn is fourteen. She is a young fourteen. While she is tall and looks every bit of

sixteen, her voice is high pitched and childlike. She continues to nervously twirl her hair. I can

tell she is anxious. I try to relax her a bit and I ask her about her family. It is quintessential small

talk to help break the tension.

Well, right now I am staying with my Aunt because of a court situation. I immediately

realize that my callow perception of small talk is naïve in the ways of families in distress

(Forster, Gower, McMorris, & Borowsky, 2017). With this one question, we dive head first into

her life. I ask her how many sisters she has.

She has two. One is twenty-five and one is sixteen. I ask her about any brothers she might

have. She has three brothers who are, in her words, way older. Like one’s thirty–seven, one’s

twenty and one’s eighteen.

She is quick to leave the conversation of her siblings behind. Their relationship is

brushed over and I can’t help but assume they must not be close. She does, however; delve right

into talking to me about her aunt. She tells me about a time in her life when she and her aunt

struggled with their relationship. As she begins talking I pick up that the past she is referring to in

this story is not so distant.

We used to argue and stuff. I thought she didn’t want me to be around my sister because

we were adopted….by my real family though. She is quick to defend her adoption. Well, it don’t

feel like I am adopted. It’s like I’m just a normal person, like, just around my real family now. I’m

with my real family so I don’t even feel adopted at all, but I know I am. I’m not mad at anybody.

If she is trying to convince me she’s not doing a very good job.

The disjointed nature of her story is striking. Perhaps she is tired or maybe nervous. I

sense she is confused by her own emotions about her family and feel this is probably not the best

way to begin our time together. I want her to be comfortable. I want this experience to be

something she looks forward to each time I arrive. So I change the subject to school in general. It

seems like a less emotional restarting point.

From this point on, we never really go back and discuss her childhood without talking

about school. I can’t quite discern if it is because she doesn’t want to, doesn’t know how to or if

it’s a combination of the two.

Middle School

I used to be a class-clown. I used to be popular and stuff. I used to love being the class-

clown. I used to disrupt the class and I got in my first fight there [middle school].

Her first fight was in the sixth grade? This is not resonating with me, but I go with it. I

ask her what the fight was about. She didn’t like me. She thought I jumped her cousin and I never

did that. I don’t jump people. She takes a deep breath.

She is switching tenses now when she talks to me. Together we navigate both present day

and the past. I disrupt the class a lot. I get tardies and stuff. And I get suspended a lot. That’s

what made me come here. I got suspended a lot. But first they sent me to [a different alternative

school]. It was bad. Girls there wanted to fight me too, and I did fight them.

So they said they felt like if they sent me here, there were less people here and I won’t like,

get into trouble. I’m not gonna get in trouble again, but I got in trouble here and fought a lot

here. But I changed now. So I don’t fight anymore. The “they” she is referring to here is the court

system. Jocelyn was removed from the other alternative center due to her constant fighting. I’m

not sure if she is trying to convince herself or me with this proclamation. I don’t think either of

us is reassured by this storied version of her.

Elementary School

Kindergarten and first grade, oh my God, best years ever. It was easy but the sad thing is

I got held back in Kindergarten. I am curious what easy means to her. I am also saddened that

her best years in school are Kindergarten and first grade. She has been in school now for nine

years and the best ones include the year she was held back. I ask her point blank what made it

easy. All I did was go to sleep, do a little work. We would play games and then go outside and

play.

I wonder out loud if she remembers her teacher. I ask her what she remembers about

him/her. She tells me she remembers that the teacher had a big heart. Jocelyn can’t remember her

name. Back then I was sensitive. In this moment, the word sensitive is a pejorative term. Jocelyn

recognized, at a young age, that sensitivity could lead to victimization.

Like, every time somebody like would yell at me, I’d start to cry and stuff. Every time

she’d start to get mad at one of the kids, she’d start to yell and stuff. I struggle with a follow up

question here as the image of a big-hearted teacher just doesn’t jell with one who yells at kids

too.

She jumps from discussions of the teacher to the memory of girl in the second grade who

yelled at her once. This one girl I wanted to fight in second grade, she yelled at me. I recall our

conversation earlier about the first fight she ever had. She said it was in the 6th grade. I quickly

realize trying to pin point when her first fight happened is proving to be a futile effort. I attempt

to discuss what else she remembers about second grade. She can only remember the fight. I can

tell she is distracted today. She is rocking in her chair and appears restless. Her body twitches and

wiggles throughout our meeting today. She divulges that her medications have changed and that

she is struggling with the adjustment and just like that I gain a bit more insight to her life.

Only grade I remember is fifth grade, fourth grade definitely and sixth grade. I told you

about Danielle, that’s all I remember. I sense she is irritated with this process today. Almost

instantly her tone and attitude shifts and she begins to reminisce about her school work:

predominately math. When I was in third and fourth grade and stuff, I did not know math. I hate

math so much because it was so hard for me. Jocelyn has never really spoken to me about school

work before now.

While she discusses her work at school with me I can see the disdain in her eyes and her

words drip with disgust for school in general. Our conversation about classwork is short lived.

She leaves behind the stories of school. School is something she believes has no control over

(academics) and therefore sees herself as weak. She rather enjoys delving into stories of power

instead. Oh, the fourth grade, I remember I got in a fight with this girl. I tore her behind up.

I ask her to tell me about the situation. She awkwardly chuckles to herself. There is a

lack of remorse highlighted by the smirk on her face as she talks to me about the fight. Not only

does she enjoy talking about the fights but these are the only stories that make her face light up.

The details of fights are much clearer than any other part of her school memories so far. She was

talking about me. She said I looked like a rat. It was weird. I never said anything to her. The fight

happened on the bus. I wanted her to touch me first. She touched me and I punched her.

Jocelyn says she was suspended but she can’t remember if it was for two days or five.

Jocelyn describes her elementary school experiences as she has all other experiences so far,

with confusion. While she seems conflicted with loving school and hating it all at the same time,

hate definitely seems to trump the conversation. She has grown to hate the academics about as

much as she despises most of the students. I’m still trying to determine her thoughts about being

here in this center and I think she is too.

Fights

I got in so many fights my whole life. I can tell we are getting to the crux of who she is.

She is a fighter. I don’t mean that in a depreciatory way. I mean she is trying to survive the best

she can and fighting is something she has become very good at doing. She is fighting to let me

in. She is fighting to let me get to know the real Jocelyn. She fights with herself right in front of

my eyes. At times it is painful to watch. I can see the turmoil. I can see the wheels spinning,

debating whether or not to reveal certain aspects of her life.

Today Jocelyn is fighting to be seen and heard, all while trying to blend into the chair she

swivels side to side in. I want to tell her to put her fists down, but I’m afraid life will knock her

out, so I just listen. I got in a whole bunch of fights. When I ask her to recall her first fight ever,

an event I think would stand out in her mind, she simply can’t. I just don’t remember.

The theme of fighting is ever present and she laughs as she recalls the girls and boys she has

unabashedly tore up. There is a sense that she knows it is wrong, she even states that explicitly.

As I watch her fidget like a little girl, I try to imagine her fighting. She’s tall and I guess that

gives her a physical advantage over most students her age.

She is older than most seventh graders due to being held back twice. At fourteen-and- a-

half year old, she is taller than I am. Yet her presence hasn’t caused me any angst since the first

time we met. I feel perfectly comfortable with her now. I know she feels comfortable with me

too, as she has told me she loves it when I come to talk with her. I am struggling to see the

fighter although I catch a glimpse of that side of her each time Jocelyn throws her head back with

laughter remembering times she has brawled.

The fighter it is not the same person as the girl who is comforting herself by rocking in

the swivel office chair. They are different people but the same being and I am perplexed. I have

real bad anger problems. I do crazy stuff. Now that I’m more grown, grown up, like getting older,

my anger problems get so bad. They get worser and worser. Her words sound a lot like a

warning.

Jocelyn fights to prove she is worthy. She fights to prove she is powerful. She fights

others frequently, but the true battle is happening within. I’m not gonna talk [to the others] cause

that means they controlling me if I keep going back and forth with them. I’m not gonna let them

control me ever again.

Jocelyn’s Perception of the Alternative Center

My hunch about her feelings about this alternative school placement is accurate. She

hates it here. She tells me every time I see her. I don’t belong here. I’m like a smart girl. I could

be in regular school doing real work. She seems to be attempting to convince me since this

contradicts our earlier conversations about school. She is also in real danger of failing the

seventh grade yet she still doesn’t want to go to class. I missed so much work [because of being

in the detention facility] and then I got suspended after that. I fought the boy next door. She is

referring to next door in another class. They are all disrespectful here.

He kept calling me an eater (this is an offensive term referring to her as someone who

performs oral sex on fellow classmates). I got so mad at him. Our lady (teacher) sent me outside.

So I snuck back in the building. I went inside his classroom. I had stand up like this (she shows

me how she stood tall in front of him). I was like trying to fight him. And I was looking at him

like that (she shows me her nastiest face she can make). Instead he got up. And that’s when we

started fighting. I had a busted eye. This incident occurred just two days after coming back from

the detention facility. She was suspended for another week for this specific fight.

And these hoes are so fake. I was friends with them when they first started going here.

And then I was fixin’ to fight both of them. Different days though. I was gonna do my work and

then go on home. Keep doing me and then leave so I don’t have to see those bitches again...at all.

The kids here, they are so disrespectful, mean and rude. And I be like, I don’t even care if I get

suspended. I do something to get suspended.

Boys

I started going out with boys when I was like eleven. I ask her what does going out mean.

We agree at calling each other boyfriend and girlfriend and hugging and kissing a bit. So I really

started [dating]…it was like thirteen. I clarify again and ask her does dating mean sex. She says

yes and reiterates that that was a long time ago. I say over a year ago and she snaps back with

that was two years ago. I’m gonna be fifteen. She sounds like she is in disbelief of her own age.

She feels grown, she tells me so.

I can’t get this boy like out of my head. He has did a lot to me that I really didn’t like. I’ve

been taking my anger out on people for it. She has unexpectedly turned the story to a boy she is

seeing, Dijon. He is sixteen years old and has a court date today. She is concerned about their

relationship and how it has affected the relationships with her family.

She tells me he hit her. Now he’s got to go to court because of me. Well he hit me, so I

should say yeah, I’m glad he’s going to court. I barely know this girl but I can feel the momma

bear coming out in me. I try to squash the feeling and remember I am here for her to tell me her

experiences not to save her, but at this moment, it’s all I want to do.

We were all there [at the house]. We heard screaming and everything. We didn’t know if

anybody was hurt. I was like, what’s going on? …I looked out the peephole. You know that little

peephole? And I was like that is my best friend, that’s Daisha. What are you doing to her? So [the

ex-boyfriend] told me to get a knife. We were by ourselves. There were no adults there with us. I

went out there like, it’s Daisha. What’s going on? She was like, go in! I was like, why are you

[Dijon] hitting her? Why are you hitting her? And then he hit me. Right after she got hit, he

hit me. That’s crazy. And maybe I think it’s my fault because I took his phone and I wouldn’t give

it back.

She warns me before she begins to cry. I’m gonna get emotional right now. It’s so sad,

because I almost tried to hurt my best friend just because of this boy. Because I was too attracted

to him. I’m doing my best to follow but I have to ask for clarification. I ask her if her best friend

was dating him as well. No, no. I tried to hurt my best friend because [she] found out that he be

hitting me and stuff. And she was like no, don’t be touching my best friend.

He came over [another] day. And he just wanted to talk to Daisha. She found out about

it. And he wanted to explain and… when he tried to explain… Daisha wouldn’t let him talk. She

made him go home. He just got over here and he had to go home already. And the one thing that

made me made me so mad when he came over there [was] he had a hickey on his neck. It wasn’t

from me at all. I was really mad at him and I just got so mad I took it out on my best friend.

I can’t help but wonder what she did to Daisha. I know her history of fighting. I ask if

she hit her. I tried to stab her. I am hoping that she is not able to see the shock on my face. I am

not sure what I thought she was going to say, but I can assure you it wasn’t that she had tried to

stab her best friend.

The pieces are coming together for me now. I have been trying to see Jocelyn for weeks.

I knew she was “not available” according to the staff at the center and now I know why. She was

in the Juvenile Assessment Center (JAC) and then the detention center. Her fighting has moved

from the school yard to her own front yard. I never thought I would actually want to stab my

best friend. I just got released from JAC (this week).

She tears up and I do my best to move the conversation forward since this is weighing

heavy in the air. I inquire how long she and this boy have been together. It doesn’t have that

much to do with a near stabbing, but it seems like an important detail in the moment. Like a

month. He’s gone now. He don’t talk to me anymore. I feel bad though because I be wanting to

talk to him. We just better off just not talking to each other at all. I think he doesn’t love me at all.

I never got hit by a boy before. This isn’t just a boy though. This is her boyfriend. My

mind is reeling. Has anyone talked to her about how this is not ok? I know he was locked up for

hitting her. I know people know. But has anyone really helped her work through this?

But it was my fault. I took his phone and wouldn’t give it back. It is at this moment that I

feel like I am in an afterschool special. Remember the ones where some major event happens and

there is a lesson to be learned? Only, this isn’t television and there is no one here to unveil the

moral of the story and impart wisdom. It’s just Jocelyn and me.

I step outside of my role as a researcher and I know there is a line but I can’t see it

anymore. Sitting here before me is a girl who has been hit by her boyfriend for not giving him his

phone back. Jocelyn’s reaction to him hitting her was to attempt to stab her best friend for

standing up to him. I’m processing this story as best as I can, but I am human. I am grappling

with how to proceed. Do I continue with my interview? I worry if I do; it will come across as

though I am complacent with her story. The truth is, I’m deeply saddened by the events Jocelyn

is telling me. I determine then and there that I cannot pretend to simply listen, nodding my head

in what she may perceive as my understanding of the abuse. Instead, I preach. Yes, I did. I let the

research focus go and let humanity take over.

I tell her no one has the right to hit her. Not for any reason. Ever. Yes, she was in wrong

for taking his phone, but there is no excuse for anyone to put their hands on her. I am so grateful

to hear that she has heard all this before; from her aunt and her therapist. I confirm with center

and indeed she is receiving therapy for her mental health disorder as well as the trauma she has

suffered from this episode of domestic violence and sexual assault. It won’t hurt for her to hear it

again, I tell myself. But as I leave the center that day I wonder if I did the right thing. I hope she

wouldn’t think I was judging her. I hope she took it as it was intended; a reminder of how she is

a unique being capable of finding someone who will love her and never hurt her.

It’s like you love a person so much and it’s like they treat you so different. They really

don’t love you. Make it seem like they really care about you and love you and really want to be

there for you and stuff, when they really don’t. They just want to get in your pants. And they done

already got in your pants so there’s nothing else you can do.

Sex and Babies

Me and this boy Colin… he was the third boy I had sexual activity with. To be clear, this

came up when we were not talking about sex. We were talking about her anger and how

nowadays her anger is typically regarding some boy. He got a car-I like boys with cars. He is so

cute. He was supposed to come over yesterday. He’s nice and stuff but, I think he just wants sex

and stuff. I’m not on that at all. Don’t want to do that. I told him I don’t want to do that.

Dijon, the boy who hit me...he used to force me to have sex with him. I hated that. And

I’m stupid enough to do it too. He used to force me to do everything with him. I hated that. I hate

when boys do that. When you tell them no and they get mad at you and won’t talk to you ever

again.

I step outside of myself during this conversation. I remember how I felt when I interjected

my rhetoric into the conversation about him hitting her. I can feel the same emotions rising up. I

know she is receiving group counseling and intensive therapy for this particular issue, in this

very room almost daily. That does not satisfy my desire to say at the top of my lungs that being

forced to have sex is never okay. And no, she is not stupid. But I manage to ask follow-up

questions instead and keep my research in mind this time.

She tells me she has only had two boyfriends but three sexual partners. Dijon is the only

one of the sexual partners boys she names as a boyfriend, which I find interesting. I don’t ask her

about that, but it weighs on my mind later that maybe I should have.

Our discussion circles back around to Dijon: it always does. I try not to think about him at

all. It’s like when I lay down in bed and I look at babies or couples and stuff like that I would

think about Dijon. And I be like, damn. I miss him so much. So, when me and him was having

sex, he was like, oh do you want to have my baby? And I was like, yeah, sure. Yeah, okay

I ask her if he would be someone she would want to have a baby with and she says yes.

She’s fourteen. The last thing I wanted at fourteen was a baby. I have to know why the idea of

having a baby is so appealing to her right now so I ask her. Cause he asked me to.

I restate my question and emphasize why would she want to have a baby. She gives me

two answers. I believe the first one is the answer she thinks I want to hear. The second answer is

hers. It is the real her. She even asks my permission to say “it.” I explain to her she can say

whatever she feels comfortable saying.

Maybe I was stupid, like too much into it. Maybe I don’t need one at all. That was the

first answer followed up by, I don’t even think I am meant to have one anyway. When I ask her to

clarify her answer of yeah sure, she informs me he wasn’t wearing any protection.

I investigate deeper into why she thinks she isn’t meant to have a baby anyway, as she

stated. I don’t think I’m pregnant though. It’s been too long. It’s been twenty-one days since I’ve

talked to him. I ask her if she is happy or disappointed that she is not pregnant. I’m kinda

disappointed because I really do want to have kids in the future. I don’t think I am meant to have

any cause look (she points to her belly) ain’t nothing popped up yet. Don’t be disappointed in

me.

I have to ask her to repeat what she just said.

Don’t be disappointed in me and stuff.

She looks at me with her longing eyes and I realize she is searching my facial expressions

for approval. I reach my hand out to touch hers. I tilt my head to the side and smile as warm a

smile as I possibly can.

I am not disappointed in you honey, I say swallowing the burgeoning lump in my throat.

In the car after our conversation that day, find myself reflecting on my words. The truth is

I am disappointed. The disappointment does not lie with her though. My disappointment is with

the idea that a fourteen-year-old girl feels her future is now and that bearing a child is a way to

connect with a boy who forces her to have sex with him and then hits her. I’m disappointed and

disheartened. According to her response to me today, I imagine my poker face needs some work.

Juvenile Detention Center

Oh, when I first went to the detention center I did not like it at all. I swear to God I did

not like it. I hated it. I wanted to go home. I couldn’t sleep at all.

It’s a building just like this. Jocelyn describes the juvenile detention facility she was sent to

after she attempted to stab her best friend. It’s a lot of gates and stuff with wires on it like jail. It’s

just like jail. I always have a roommate when I go there. The most recent stay was not her first

time at the detention center. I ask her where she sleeps when she is there. On these hard mats in

these rooms where they lock us in. All the girls shower together and stuff. There’s a bathroom in

our room.

How does that make you feel?

I don’t care. Cause I’ve been there for a long time. So it really don’t matter. You gotta use

the bathroom, you gotta use the bathroom. I ask her how long she was there for this time. For

twenty-one. I didn’t get the whole twenty-one. I stayed like sixteen days. I guess cause my aunt

was telling them good things about me and stuff.

Jocelyn describes the first time she was placed in the facility. I was just thinking about

stuff in there. I didn’t want to go to bed at all. I stayed up until I had to go to court. When I went

to court the next morning, man, they told me I could go home. I was so happy.

But this time Jocelyn wasn’t as lucky as the first time. This time she was charged with

aggravated battery. The judge gave her twenty-one days. I begged the officer to call my aunt. I

did not ever want to go back there. They hand cuff us…in front. Then they put little shackles on.

Them things hurt. Worst day ever.

She leans in when talking about court. So I ask her what that is like for her. It’s like a free

thing where you can just leave the detention center. You just…it’s hard to explain about that. It’s

like going to court, it’s like going to a place just to see what you done did. It’s like school. This

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statement surprises me. She equates court to school. I am not exactly sure if it is the power

structures within the two placements that she is recognizing but her comparison is striking.

Cancer and Loss

Jocelyn is at her most vulnerable when we discuss two topics: 1) Dijon and 2) her

adoptive mother (who is also her aunt). In a casual conversation about learning how to drive

Jocelyn informs me that her aunt/adoptive mother is sick.

Tell me more about your mom.

My mom, she has cancer. And like she got the little tumor that’s got the cancer inside of it.

I think it’s called drenal.

Adrenal?

Yeah. For real. And she is like strong. She’s real strong. I love her so much.

Did she get treatment?

I think so. I don’t know why they just won’t take the cancer out? They told my aunt

[adoptive mom] that she only had six months to live. That really broke my heart. But in my mind,

not in my heart, I feel like she’s not going anywhere. I think they are just saying that.

When did they tell her that?

Like three days ago. That’s probably why I’m not really trying to come to school…all the

time.

How does that make you feel?

Really bad because all these years she been there for me and everything and they are

talking about six months of living? I hate when people do stuff like that. They always take away

good people. Take away people that you love so much.

Who is taking her? I ask.

The Lord.

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There is so much on her plate. She is dealing with issues that I have not dealt with as a

grown woman. I cannot begin to imagine how scared she is. She is brutally honest about literally

fighting in class in order to be suspended, so she can go home and I can’t blame her. She feels

time slipping away. Once again, there is a loss of control and a sense of helplessness she exudes

as we discuss her mother and the very real possibility of her mother’s impending death. Talk

about this subject is short lived. She is confused and in denial. I can see it in her body language

and her inability to maintain eye contact with me. She diverts the conversation abruptly and we

are once again talking about Dijon.

Just the Two of Us

I walked into Jocelyn’s life at an extremely tumultuous time. Her adoptive mom (her

aunt) has been diagnosed with terminal cancer. Jocelyn has also recently been arrested for

attempting to stab her best friend because she was standing up to the boy who hit Jocelyn. The

boy she was seeing was no longer talking to her due to the court date he received from his battery

charge. She seemed hollow. She seemed beaten down and overwhelmed by what life had divvied

out. I couldn’t blame her. Just listening to her stories was exhausting.

I wanted to hug her. I wanted to console her. At times, she would let me. Other visits she

was guarded. She struggled to keep her thoughts off of Dijon. All conversations somehow found

their way back to him and how much she loved or missed him. This was frustrating at best. I

worried about her going back to him. I still do. She seemed to need his love and approval above

all others. I remain concerned that she will find her way back to him no matter how many times

she tried convincing me she would not.

With Jocelyn, there were times that I had to contain my longing to mother her. I

recognized that was not my place or my purpose in meeting with her. However, she talked about

being physically and sexually abused and took responsibility for the abuse. That completely

rattled me and pushed me out of the realm of researcher. I crossed a boundary that I imposed in

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order to conduct this research. I opened up and spoke to her as a friend and mentor regarding the

abuse. I did not engage in that type of conversation again, but it definitely happened in that

moment. I do not regret the conversation we had regarding the abuse but I have reflected time

and time again. I have contemplated how unprepared I was for the story she told and how I can

work on this for future interviews. When our meetings unexpectedly and abruptly concluded,

Jocelyn was nevertheless trapped in cycle of attempting to find her power with her fists.

SHAY

Setting. The massive emblazoned gold and cream country club is situated on a sprawling

golf course next to a glistening lake. Here high-end cars are being hastily valeted by young men

in button down shirts, red uniform pants and of course, bowties. Women in tailored slacks and

jackets proudly walk through the crosswalk with their colossal leather designer bags tucked

under their arms. Men in polos and tennis shorts dodge the traffic concerned with making their

tee times. This place is bustling with tourists as it always is in April. Spring break has arrived.

I know this drive well. I also know the building that contains students who have been in trouble

with the law resides on the right side of the street, amidst million-dollar lakeside mansions. I am

well aware of the disdain neighbors have for the program that is housed here and how it devalues

their property. What I did not realize, was that the students who walk the small corridors of the

alternative center, know all of this as well.

Well, we got here at like fifteen or twenty minutes early. So [my aunt] dropped us off

right there at the lake. And we went and walked by the lake a little bit and they called the cops on

us. They came and they put us in handcuffs and stuff like that. They were like asking us what we

were doing and we were just like, so in shock. We didn’t do anything. We were just walking by

the lake.

And they were like, well, you’re supposed to be on school campus. Why weren’t you

there? Um, it’s not time. They just brought us here and let us go. And then Mr. Smith had a long

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talk with us about it. He was like telling us why we couldn’t do that and stuff like that. ‘Cause I

guess this is a half-a-million dollar community. I attempt to clarify what that means to her.

The people around don’t want us here. So, they’re trying to do everything they can to get

us kicked out and to move somewhere else.

I park in a precarious spot on the property, where the sidewalk meets the mud. I’m sure

there used to be grass growing here but years of staff, therapist, parole officers and visitors alike

attempting to park in the tiny space has left the landscape as worn down as the building appears.

When I walk up, the students are finishing lunch outside on the dock by the lake. Who

the fuck is that? I am the ‘who’ and it is clear that they know I am here. Knock it off…Hi,

Ma’am, the elevator’s right there…you want the 2nd floor. I let the man know I am grateful for his

help and I stand close to the elevator so as not to be seen by all of the students eating lunch. I

practically leap into the elevator when the door opens. I’m hoping the reception from my

participant will be a bit more pleasant.

The elevator opens this time into a corridor. I step off and see an office to the right

through the floor to ceiling glass doors which are open anyway. The office is empty. Not a soul is

there. I stand there motionless, not quite knowing where to go. It is a sterile place with cheap

picture frames lining the walls of accolades from the past. I can’t help but think the linoleum

floor is as cold as the reception I am receiving. Finally, a man steps into the office and says “are

you here for Shay?” YES!! I am immediately all smiles and probably a bit over zealous with my

response. He moves to the side and points with his hands in a Vanna White motion to a girl who

must have been standing just outside the office. This is Shay, he says.

Nice to meet you, I say. She doesn’t make eye contact with me but she does dutifully

reach her hand out to shake mine. Much better than the greeting I received outside just moments

earlier. She is a petite framed White girl, with long blond hair. Her walk is one of confidence but

her facial expressions are indicating bit of hesitation, which I think is stemming from my

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presence. The man, who has still not identified himself, escorts us to a small office with dark

paneled walls that emits the odor of fried fish.

Sorry, I just got my lunch delivered.

No worries, I say trying not to gag.

This is my office. I am the behavior specialist here, the one you have been talking to on

the phone and through email.

Nice to put a face to a name. Pleasure to meet you.

This is the only place I have for you to talk today. Is this going to work?

Absolutely, thank you again for allowing me to come in.

No problem...I’ll let you two talk.

Introductions

Is this going to work for you?

Sure, this is fine.

Let me go ahead and close the door and how about you take Mr. Smith’s seat.

This is my meager attempt at leveling a painfully obvious unleveled playing field (i.e.

interview space). I review the assent with her. Discuss briefly that her father has given

permission for her to speak to me, but of course she doesn’t have to if she doesn’t want to. She

wants to. She is holding both arms of the chair. I deduce her posture as a sign she is ready to talk

with a mix of anxiousness. When I tell her I want to know about her, her life before she ended up

at the alternative center, she leans forward in her chair like a horse at a starting gate. She is ready

and eager.

Background

Um, I was like five. Yeah, five and my parents were like drug dealers at the time. It was

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like five of us in one small hotel. My parents had went to jail for like three days including my

uncle and at the time all of us kids were living together. And my dad, my mom and my uncle were

drug dealers. And we would have these people come in and out or our room and hotel and I used

to ask my dad all the time, like who are they. And my dad would just tell me like, that they were

friends of the family.

They had just came to visit for a little while. And then my cousin… he is like two years

older than me, two years and nine months actually. He knew a little more than I did. And he

would tell me like they’re doing bad things. He’d say we shouldn’t be here. And that’s when I kind

of like, caught on to what they were doing. Because every time we would want to use the

bathroom, they would grab us by the hand and cover our eyes so that we didn’t see what they

were doing. But I would smell like the stuff, the weed and all of that. I didn't really know what it

was at the time.

Shay’s parents and uncle went to jail. She was placed in the care of her grandparents.

She recalls that when her parents were released they picked her up and once again she was living

in a hotel. The police warned her parents that if they were caught selling again, Shay would be

removed from their care. So yeah, we went to a different hotel and they were doing a really big

drug deal. At this time, there were multiple people and children living in the hotel. And like, I

think it was four or five in the morning, um, the door got busted in. And it was the police.

They were like, it was SWAT, so they went and handcuffed all our parents and told us that

we needed to get up and get out of bed and go outside. And he (Shay’s father) was handcuffed

with his hands behind his head and I asked him what was going on. He said they were doing bad

things and you all are going to have to suffer because of it. And he started crying. So I started

crying.

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Shay is moving the story along in a methodical way. I can’t help but wonder if she has

been thinking about talking to me. Even her story is in chronological order. I sense she is

building up to something.

I was with the same foster parents for like nine months. During that nine months, um,

something really bad happened to me. I had to sleep with their biological daughter which was

fifteen, around there at the time and she would rape me, basically. She is so matter of fact. No

emotion. Just looks at me and shrugs her shoulders. My grandparents got me…and they asked if

anything happened in foster care and I told them no because I didn’t want to tell no body. I felt

like it was my fault and I was sticking with it. I wasn’t telling nobody. I never told nobody until

six months ago. I finally told my dad and I am in counselling.

I’m shocked. I try my best to hide it, but I am shocked. Not so much by the rape of this

girl, but by the fact that we are barely into our first rapport building session and she is willing to

go so deep into her story with me. I am honored to have her trust.

She continues her story describing how afraid she was that she was going to have to go

back into foster care. She tells me a heartbreaking story about finding her parents smoking weed

after being placed with them again. She recalls how devastated she felt since that’s why she was

taken away in the first place.

When he would drink, he went to bed with a beer in his hand and he woke up with a beer

in his hand. Everything revolved around beer. His last twenty dollars went for beer. When our

lights and cable got cut off, he wanted beer. He didn’t care about anything but beer and weed.

I’m not sure if she arrived at this conclusion recently, but the pain in her voice is fresh.

Every detail is crystal clear. Her young memory is vehemently hanging on to the past

traumas all while she attempts to connect with me in the present. I can’t help but be amazed that

she can recall the dates and years so easily, like a rolodex of events categorized by time. She

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launches in to a discussion on her move from the south, where she has known no real happiness,

to the northern part of the country where her life changes, if only for a little while.

Yeah, we just packed up and moved. We went and lived with my great grandfather which

was really sick and that’s the whole reason we went. They told us he only had a year to live and

my grandpa owned a bicycle shop. And my dad was like, okay, well, grandpa wants me to run his

shop. He wants us to live with him, take care of him and so that’s what we did. And I got to meet

family that I never met before. I got to meet, my dad had a sister whose name was Mandy. She

killed herself. She had two kids before she passed away with Uncle Mike, who is still in our lives

‘til this day. I got to meet my great-grandfather for the first time. We connected like two peas in a

pod.

He dies that year, days before her birthday. This is a deep wound. One I will not touch.

Her pain is visceral. I didn’t see a hint of emotion until now, but it is clear this loss is something

with which she has not yet come to terms. With the loss of her great-grandfather came the loss of

a dream for a different life.

After that my family decided they were just going to run the bike shop and we were

going to live [there] for the rest of our lives. And me, like, [that place] is like my home then,

because that’s where I was basically raised and had the best life. Then two years go by and um,

the shop started going in debt. The next thing you know, our lights are off, our cable is off, our

water is off and we’re living basically in a poor household.

Then my mom called my uncle and asked for help. My uncle called her back two days

later and said I can’t take you guys all in, but I can take the girls in. So we got on a plane

October 11th and came down here.

I can see defeat in her eyes. Coming back here is not what she wanted. Life in Florida

has not been kind to her. Up north is where family resides and where happiness lives.

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I get a call two days after that and my mom’s incarcerated for fraud and she’s looking at three

years in prison. There is it. The bad news sets in almost as soon as they step off the plane. This

move has proven to be the letdown she anticipated. Her father and mother are consumed with

their own demons unable to assume responsibility for Shay or her sister.

My dad comes down here August 14th and he, we, get a house and stuff and my mom

calls me from jail and tells me that she doesn’t want us to live with my dad because her and my

dad had split up. She’s feels like my dad’s going to take us and run with us…. But my dad told my

uncle, that the only way he could come down here was if he was in AA and he stopped drinking

and smoking and that’s why my dad did. He has two years sober. I have the father I never had

before. Now it’s just like his whole attitude is changed. He puts his all into the relationship, to

have a relationship with me and my sister. That is amazing because I thought my mom would

always be the one around and it totally changed.

Her pride shines through her dark eyeliner. She reminds me of a parent ogling over their

child, yet the roles here are reversed. However, when she decides to discuss her mother, her

shoulders slouch. There is an explicit juxtaposition in her demeanor when the conversation shifts

from speaking about her newly sober father and her mother.

My mom just moved here, she got out early. They let her out on early release and put her

on ten years of probation. Yeah, she got here on September 17th, the day before my sister’s

birthday of last year. She was working with my uncle and she met this guy named John. They, I

guess you could say they fell in love instantly. So my mom’s planning a wedding with him and she

moved in with him. She barely calls us. She don’t text us. If I call her, she hardly ever picks up

and she won’t call back. She never really sees us. Um, it’s like our mom abandoned us…so.

I want so desperately to hug her. It’s not what she wants or needs from me though. I am

doing my very best to remember my role as researcher in this fish fragrant office. We chat a

minute about why she thinks her mother doesn’t call. She’s sure her mother harbors anger

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towards her father. I’m not convinced that is why a mother would leave her daughters, but I do

my best to simply listen.

I got a call one night later, cause my mom’s an alcoholic. She called me and she was

drunk on like a Saturday around 12 and I’m a teenager, so like, I was up. She called me and she

was crying and I was asking her what was wrong. I was trying to be there for her and she told me

she was going to kill herself. I had to hang up. I could not deal with it. I told my dad the next day

and he called my mom and told her that she didn’t need to call us and tell us stuff like that.

My mom straight up denied it because she did not remember it. And so, I got a few

phone calls like that. My grandma finally kicked her out. After like three months of living with

her friends she got kicked out of there for drinking too. Her friend was a like a really big

alcoholic too, but he was like, I couldn’t keep up with your mom. So my uncle, the one that’s like

really big AA, he owns a sober living home. He was like I have this room open for you if you

want it. My mom at first was like, at first, no I have to be sober….I don’t want that. My uncle was

like, okay then I guess you’re going to be out on the streets. My mom was like, no, never mind,

I’ll take it. My mom has been sober for sixty days, I think.

This is a source of pride for Shay. Anyone can see she is hopeful for her mother’s future.

But reality is a bitter pill. She’s still not really in our lives because she is more in tune with her

boyfriend and his kids…yeah.

As she is giving me every part of who she is, time is running away from us in this

interview; I don’t want her feel rushed, so I ask her if she would want to talk with me tomorrow. I

can tell by her smirk she is okay with that. Right now, I want to be certain she arrives wherever

she is supposed to be so she and I walk awkwardly together, to her classroom, like we would if

we were friends.

We have begun an interesting relationship. She is telling me her deepest, darkest secrets

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and I am not only listening but recording them to analyze at a later date. We both realize the

bizarre nature of the relationship I think, but she is indisputably happy. So am I.

High School

I call the next day to confirm my meeting time with Shay. She is not at school today. She

is out sick. I am bummed and hope that the flow of the first conversation wasn’t a fluke. I am

concerned she will get cold feet and not want to speak with me any longer. My fears are

unsubstantiated. I meet with her the following week. Again, we gel. You know there are just

those people you connect with instantly. She is one of those for me.

Mr. Smith, the behavior specialist strides into the office. He nods his head up and says

Shay right? Right, I say back. He tells me she really enjoyed speaking to me last week. I say the

feeling was mutual. As he leaves to get Shay he points me in the direction of his office. This is to

be the interview room again. I go one way, he goes the other.

Since the last time I was here, I feel more comfortable in this space. I am hopeful she

does too. There are about six rooms upstairs where they work with students on what they call

credit recovery. This is the process of having a student who has failed a for-credit course in high

school, come in and retake those credits via an online course. It is self-paced and self-guided.

Therefore, the rooms are quiet with everyone using a computer that faces the outer walls of the

building. As a teacher, this is a strange sight for me. There is no discussion happening, just

module after module completed and the end result is a cumulative test to determine if the course

objectives have been accomplished.

The walls are painted with bright colors, which normally I think I would love, but for

some reason this looks and feels loud and overdone. Maybe the noise of the paint balances out

the silence of the students. The hallways are small corridors which connect in the shape of a

square. So you can easily get to one side or the other very quickly. This is a great feature when

you have students who are violent and may act out aggressively towards other students or staff.

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All hallways connect for easy access to assist in a crisis. The office still feels cold to me and I

have never seen anyone working in it. If anyone is there, they are behind closed doors.

I can hear Mr. Smith and Shay coming down the short hallway. He is teasing her and she

is trying not to laugh. I have left his office chair open for her to sit in again while I sit on the

“student” side. I can see she’s got a tissue in one hand and she looks stuffy. We catch up on the

weekend events. She causally drops that she has a boyfriend and they went to the movies and

dinner this weekend. I get the feeling she doesn’t have a lot of friends to just talks to. She is filled

with conversation and I have to constantly remind myself that I am here for a reason. When the

subject of her returning to her old high school comes up, I push the dialogue towards school.

She can tell where my questions are going. She is quick to clear her friends from any

responsibility of her not being in school. My dad thought it was like I was hanging with the

wrong crowd, but it wasn’t. I just didn’t want to go to school. So, I didn’t go.

Okay…I get it. She just didn’t want to go. I can’t help but wonder why? As we continue

to talk the most obvious answer to my question comes to light. And then my ninth grade year,

was, I have to say like, the best but the worst year of my school years. I liked school, but I did

none of my work. None of it. I got straight F’s and D’s. And the only reason I got D’s was because

I passed my EOC’s. Um, I was more - I had a boyfriend at the time that I as dating since eighth

grade. And I was more focused on him and his grades so that he could play basketball than my

grades. And rather than doing homework, I would go to football games, basketballs games and

all of that. And hang out with people. I lied to my dad about my grades.

A boy. Of course. It’s so painfully obvious.

Um, then, I fought, ninth grade year.

Who’d you fight?

This girl name LaToya. She’s like six foot three. Yeah and she weighs like two twenty five.

My best friend at the time, she um, was fighting her over a boy. Which was so dumb. And they

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had fought two times. So they fought two times and then she wanted to fight again, but my best

friend didn’t want to. So, I fought her and I dislocated my shoulder. I had to be rushed to the

hospital and my shoulder popped back into place.

I am continuing to see this particular story seep into the narrative that Shay has some

physical issues with her back. She has scoliosis. She states that she has had temporary paralysis

more than once in her short life-time. She is still going to doctor appointments hoping to figure

out the cause. They try to say it was like, I don’t know what it’s called, psychiatric, something like

that.

I am struck by this last sentence. She later says doctors ruled out any psychiatric

episodes. However, she does inform me of her bipolar diagnosis. Her mental stability is

questioned several times in our conversations by not only her doctor but by Shay as well.

I think to myself that she is a deep thinker. I also think how proud I am of the father she

has now. She is wounded. He recognizes her pain and takes her to and from her many doctors’

appointments. Counseling is proving to be potentially life changing for Shay. I can’t help but feel

hopeful for Shay. Someone is taking care of her and that someone is her father, which is an

advantage many at-risk girls simply do not have.

Middle School

I feel pretty confident at this point that I can ask Shay specific questions related to the

research. After a conversation about her kindergarten teacher and what a powerful impact she had

on Shay’s life, I wonder if she has a contrasting teacher. One who has made her life hell?

She did.

It was like the start of my eighth grade year in [up north] and it was like a week into

school and I wouldn’t like - Sometimes I didn’t have rides to school and where I lived, I didn’t

have like, a choice of a bus. They wouldn’t come to where I stayed. So, if my parents didn’t get up

and take me, I wasn’t going.

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So, I missed like three days out of the first week. The first day I go back to school, my

teacher, she asked me what was going on. And I was like, I just didn’t have a ride. And she was

like, um, well, maybe you should have got a taxi and I was like, um, my parents like, my parents

aren’t going to make me get a taxi to go to school. You know like, my parents don’t have the

money for that. And she was like, um, well then maybe your parents should be better parents and

get up and actually take you. And I was like, well my parents work all night and all day. And she

was like, well then you’re going to be nothing in life. And I like, walked out of the classroom…

Much of Shay’s middle school experience reads like bad teenage soap opera. Her

perceptions of her teachers are that they don’t care. Her parents are busy involved with their

failing family business and still in the throes of drug/alcohol addiction. Shay’s schooling is really

the last thing on anyone’s mind.

There is a hint that perhaps her school is attempting to correct her behavior with daily

progress sheets sent home. However, when you bring home notes to parents who are preoccupied

with their own lives, the effectiveness of these types of behavior management tools are

diminished.

I went to school every day, but I barely paid attention. I was more focused on like, making

friends. Um, I got in trouble a lot. I fought.

I lean in.

Um, there was this teacher, her name was Miss Jackson. I threw gum at her. I got into

trouble for that. She graded my paper wrong. I knew she graded my paper wrong because I

cheated off this girl and she got a straight A.

And you didn’t?

I didn’t. I got a C, which made no sense to me because usually if like, she knows you’re

cheating off somebody, she’d just ask you about it. So, I threw gum at her. It wasn’t like chewed

up gum or anything. It was just like, a pack of gum and I just threw it.

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And did you get a referral?

Yeah, I got a referral for that. And then, I was in gym one day and we weren’t supposed to

have our phones out. But I had my phone out and the teacher asked for my phone and I was

talking to my dad at the time. And I told her no because I was talking to my dad and she was like

well, you can talk to your dad later. And I was like, I don’t want to talk to him later, I’m talking to

him now. And she was like, well then, she was like, if you don’t give me your phone I’m going to

have to have somebody come escort you. And so I threw my phone at her. Yeah. It hit her in the

back of her head when she was walking away. So… I got arrested for that, but it wasn’t really like

arrested for it. I just got put in handcuffs. Yeah, they took me to JDC. But I got out in like an hour

or two.

They put you in front handcuffs or back handcuffs?

Back. They actually like, put me on the ground and all that. They tackled me like I was a

real bad criminal or something. But then, I wrote her an apology letter and gave it to her.

This is a defining moment for me. I have a shift in my consciousness about this girl. Up

until now there was pity, sorrow and sadness for all she had been through. This is a pivotal

moment. I see her morph right before my eyes from victim to perpetrator. She is unabashedly

open with me. Shay is telling it like it is.

I sense no remorse or embarrassment. It is just a matter of fact and that destabilizes me.

There is a palpable tension that signifies there are more stories of brutality to come. Perhaps

chucking a phone at teacher is her way of introducing me to a different side of who she was. Or

maybe who she still is.

Elementary School

Shay is quick to note that her elementary years were difficult. She moved a lot and compares

herself to an army brat. By her count, she has been to eight or nine elementary schools. This is no

doubt of that due to her parents evading law enforcement and jumping from hotel to hotel in

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different parts of the school district. She seems indifferent to her elementary school experience,

with the exception of a teacher says had a really big impact on (her) life. When I push her to go a

bit deeper about the relationship and why Shay finds it so impactful, she describes a woman who

cared for her students and one who recognized that Shay was struggling. I find myself wishing

she had more of these types of teachers along her educational path.

I’ve had a lot of those teachers like this - that would just sit at their desk and like, if you ask

for help they would like, tell you to ask a friend or like, ask your partner or something. But like,

when I asked her for help like, she would actually, like help me. She recently passed away. It was

very depressing.

Fights

The more I meet with Shay the deeper she delves into her past, specifically, her history of

violence. She is very concise when discussing her involvement in fights. No excitement in her

voice and no sorrow either. Shay is both a victim and perpetrator of aggression and violence.

There’s this girl…she’s not new, not that new. We had problems. She was talking about me

but was like trying to be slick about it. Like, she wasn’t trying to let me know she was talking

about me. I’m the type of person like my mouth has no filter. I say what’s on my mind at all times.

So I said something to her and she got slick and so I got slick and then we just started going at it.

I asked her to clarify the phrase going at it and in this instance she and the other student

were yelling at each other. This part of the story is important. Shay was this girl’s mentor. That

means her role was to show the girl the ropes of the alternative center. I find it interesting that the

first thing Shay says to justify her behavior is that the girl is not that new. As though, that makes

the incident easier to accept. I also am listening thinking Shay has been at this center for

approximately four months. This was the one “nonviolent” incident at the center. But there is

another incident that harkens back to Shay’s earlier schooling and darker times.

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Um, the other girl…she was here before I was and I’ve known her since sixth grade.

Yeah, but we like butted heads a little bit because she was talking about my cousin. I’m real, like,

defensive when it comes to family. So, I said something to her and she said something back. I

punched her in her face.

In this moment I acquire a better understanding of Shay, where she is and where she has

come from. These stories are in stark contrast to the warm greetings I receive and the heartfelt

goodbyes I encounter with each visit. I vacillate between empathy and astonishment. Who is this

girl?

Shay is at an indelible crossroad in her life. She has been bloodied and caused others to be

bloodied with her anger, yet she sits across from me respectfully addressing any and all questions

I ask. She begins to speak as though she is remorseful. She is empathetic towards those

she has hurt, physically and mentally. She is working so hard on becoming something other than

which she has been. Her freckled face is filled with pain and hope. I wonder if the stories she

tells release her of her past even just a tiny bit. I hope they do.

That was the first altercation I ever had here. And, um, I actually cried.

She is growing. The stories of fights from long ago had no hint of regret. But in the here

and now, I can tell she is softer then she once was.

My first fight was in elementary school, in the bathroom my fifth grade year. This girl

called my mom a crack head at lunch. And I wasn’t having that. So, well, she was in the

bathroom and was peeing. I kicked in the stall and I just started fighting her.

While she was peeing?

Yeah. I don’t know what was going through my mind. I actually felt kind of psycho

afterwards, because – I was smiling and like walking away. But I got suspended for ten days.

I sit back in my chair and grapple with the vivid images swirling in my head.

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I’m always the one to hit first and I don’t know why. ‘Cause my anger just takes over and

I see black….and I can’t control anything. Her ability to express to me her inability to stop

herself when she “sees black” is remarkable. She is currently not on a medical regimen for her

Bipolar disorder and she recognizes that might be a problem. She is on a roll and wants to tell me

more. Is this cathartic? I can’t tell.

Um the second biggest fight I had was with this boy. I think it was like seventh grade

year. Yeah, seventh grade year. It was like almost the ending. I had like three more months of

school left. He stole my cookie. And I don’t know, I love food so.

We laugh together at the ridiculousness of her fighting a boy for taking her cookie.

I wasn’t having that either. I chased him down the hallway. I slung him into a locker. I

bashed his head into the locker. They said I hit him over one hundred and five times in less than

five minutes. Ambulance had to come get him, ‘cause he had a head concussion. He couldn’t get

up. He couldn’t see. He was bleeding out his nose. I had to go to secondary school. I had to go

to court. All of that. Um, every day we went to school… we had to be shackled and handcuffed.

This was the same timeframe that the family business was plummeting up north. This was

the same timeframe that her great-grandfather was dying. There, in that place, that spawned the

beginning of the end for Shay and her family up north. I didn’t care about nothing then. Um,

then, it was like my last day of [secondary school] this girl tried to fight me. And I wasn’t gonna

fight her on my last day, I could have got sixty more days.

So, um, like a week later, it was summer. I seen her at the apartments,that my cousin lived

at. And my mom and them they were doing drug deals. I seen her with my friend... when she

came back I told her that I wanted to fight her. Um, so I did. And she went to the hospital. I

got another charge for that. Then, um - then they charged me with assault with a deadly weapon

‘cause I picked up a rock. And, that’s how I got my reputation. I started fighting.

I started associating with gangs. I started drug dealing and um… I got into a gang. I was

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jumped in. I was beat, really bad. Like I had two black eyes, a bloody nose. It was really bad.

The girl that I fought, she wasn’t from the gang that I really hung out with, which is Bloods. She

was from their biggest rival which is Crips. Um, so this girl from Bloods, she approached me one

day. And she said, hey, I seen you fight that girl and I think you should join. And I was just like,

okay, because I thought it was cool at the time.

So, they decided I would run with them every day. I recognize her pronoun choices in

this statement. She has given up her power to the gang as she states they decided what she would

do. I started skipping school to be with them. I sold drugs. I shot at people. Oh my God, I was so

bad. And that’s who I really associated with. We sold drugs. We shot at people. We stole. We stole

cars and, um, yeah. I was really bad.

And so at this time you’re not going to school? School is a nonissue?

Yeah.

And mom and dad are doing their thing?

Strung out on drugs.

So, they don’t pay any bit of attention?

Yeah. There was nights I wouldn’t come home at all and my parents would like have a

conversation with me the next morning and they wouldn’t even know - that I was gone. And then

um, I got shot at. Um, there was like a drive-by shooting and my best friend got shot. He died

instantly. He was only thirteen. Um, then that’s when I knew I needed to stop what I was doing

and like get out of this. This was not the place for me. This is not what I should be doing at this

age. I’m too young to die.

And I was talking to my dad and he was like, there’s nowhere else we can go. This is our

home and you can’t go back to Florida. And so, I stayed with the gang and stuff. I was talking to

them about how I got shot at. They were telling me you’re going to be okay. I went to the fair one

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day and there were these girls, the girl that I fought and her friends, well her ex-best friends they

still like hated me because I was from the Bloods and they were from Crips.

I was walking by myself. They came up behind me and cut my throat with a razorblade. I

go to the hospital from the fair and all that. I had stitches. Actually it was glued or something.

Um, I got out, it was around Easter and I decided I was going to steal my parents’ car. They woke

up Easter morning, I was gone. They called the cops. They found me in two days. I got arrested

for grand theft auto. It was me and three boys and two other girls.

Her voice does not waver through the entire monologue. In this narrative, there is no

sense of drama. She remains calm and collected. I do not break her stride with questions. I listen.

Once she takes a breath, I gauge her demeanor. She is composed and I use this moment as a

vehicle to steer the conversation to reflection. I ask how she feels about her past. Does she view

it as good times?

When I reminisce on like what happened and what I’ve been through and what I’ve done

to other people and like put other people in danger and stuff, I’m like, why would I ever do that?

That’s not really who I am. Today, that’s not who I ever really was? I think I was just trying to fit

in. I was trying to be one of them. It worked. By doing what I did. They respected me for what I

did. And, I just, now that I look back, I’m like, wow. I was really nothing for trying to associate

with people like them. But…I made a dramatic change….. Some still talk to me to this day but

most of them have babies now. The girls that I really hung out with, they have babies.

I go into the center for the last time fairly close to the end of the school year. Shay is

excited and nervous to be “graduating” the program with enough credits to re-enter high school

and take her rightful place in her grade level. She will be a junior in high school in the fall. I

know she is excited and nervous. I know she is confident in her ability to be successful, maybe

even overly confident. However, when we talk about her weekend Shay, the fighter, rears her

head.

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She came to my cousin’s house, Sunday at like eleven. She’s really close with this girl

named Beth’s mom. And me and Beth were really close. Beth’s gay and so she dated that girl

Christina. And then, um, Christina thought me and Beth had something going on, but I don’t like

girls so. I tried to tell her like, I don’t like her…And so, yeah, I guess she found out where we

lived and popped up at the house and we were fighting and um, I kind of knocked her bottom

tooth out.

I can’t help but notice the bruise and scratch around her eye. I feel a bit naïve. She has

been progressing so well, I figure the marks are unrelated to fighting. But there is a something to

the adage, old habits die hard. Yeah she just like scratched me. But like her girlfriend, when I was

on top of her, her girlfriend pushed me off of her and I hit my head on the ground. Really hard.

My cousin broke it up.

This girl, she is sixteen. She has a daughter that is two, which means she was pregnant at

fourteen. She does drugs, like not marijuana or anything. Heavy drugs. She just like, dropped out

of school and she has like nothing going on with her life. I was trying to help her, you know, when

her and Beth were breaking up. And she just starting hating me. I was trying to help her. I don’t

care. I know she does. I can tell by how irritated she seems with the whole situation.

She transitions from the video recorded fight to how amazing the chips are that brought

for her and I go with it, but the shift seems abrupt and a bit bizarre. I take advantage of the

change of topic and ask her about her experience talking to me. I look forward to it. I don’t really

like open up and express like my life story and like to tell my story to people. But I don’t know. I

feel like I’ve been so much smoother during the day knowing that, like, you’re coming.

Shay’s Perception of the Alternative Center

Um, me and my dad talk about this all the time. I think it was the best decision I could

ever make for myself. ‘Cause my GPA was low, I had like 0.9. I had four credits when you’re

supposed to have like six, for one year. Um, my grades were horrible and it’s like nice being in

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like a small environment and having like, actually your teachers work with you. Not only do they

teach you. They work with you for credits and stuff, they teach you how to have respect and stuff

like that. She loves it here. I jokingly tell her she is like a poster child for this place. This is such

a stark contrast to Jocelyn’s experience.

Life-long lessons, like it’s nice. I communicate with all the staff. I know all the staff and

the staff loves me. Like the teachers actually interact with you and they help you. People actually

get to know you and stuff. They put a number on your and call it a day. If you let them, they put

you on the right track.

She has nothing but positive words for the center. She has the typical teenage complaints,

but in general she is grateful to the school and especially the staff for their support. She has made

amazing strides both socially and academically. The center has been able to accurately create a

learning map to enhance Shay’s experience

Just the Two of Us

Shay and I connected pretty instantaneously. She jumped at the opportunity to tell me her

story with very little probing from me. She poured her heart out and bared her soul each visit. We

both genuinely looked forward to our time together. When it was time to conclude our

interviews, she assured me she would be working hard in school so she could fulfill her dream of

helping other girls deal with the harsh realities of life. I liked Shay. I think we would probably

have been friends in high school. We hugged on our last visit and I told her how much I

appreciated her willingness to talk to me and divulge stories that were painful to remember and

impossible to forget.

School has started now and I can’t help but wonder how she is doing. Did she register for

her junior year? Is she as committed to completing high school today as she was then?

It’s a strange line I am straddling; researcher and confidant. I question should I go to the

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high school and check on her. It’s not my place. That was not my role. But yet here I sit,

concerned. I’m human, a woman who used to be a girl and a junior in high school. I am now a

mother and have a daughter of my own. I am worried that Shay could read the next odd look

from a fellow student as a diss triggering a fight. I cannot help but wonder if she will wear those

skirts she’s been told she shouldn’t. Will they dress code her again sending her home? Will she

have the determination to go back to school?

My researcher hat so easily slips off and I shift to a place deep inside of me. A place I did

not learn about in a classroom or through journal articles. It is a part of me that is not up for

negotiation or analysis. This is a part of me who isn’t interested in data collection or academics.

This instinctive part of me burrows to the core of who I am and the affect my participant has had

on me. Simply put, I am a worried mother of a girl who I barely know.

Mental Health

Jocelyn and Shay. While not the focus of this research, the issue of mental health came

up within both girls’ stories. In congruence with research of at-risk girls from the last 30 years,

the mental health status of these 2 participants was a reoccurring theme during the interviews

(Cuellar & Dave, 2016; Mallett, 2014; Schleider & Weisz, 2016). It would be remiss to not

mention the stories these girls told about their own mental health and the challenges that they

have faced throughout their lifetime. Jocelyn spoke to me candidly about her medication. I’m

supposed to do work. Pills make me so sleepy. I be so exhausted I can’t even do work. It’s been

like that for a couple days. Not days, but months now. I asked her if she took her meds in the

morning or afternoon. I take Abilify in the afternoon. Yeah in the afternoon and I take Clonidine

in um- [the morning]. She was on a new regimen to help combat the aggression and mood

swings.

Shay was also forthcoming with her struggles in being diagnosed with depression and

post-traumatic stress disorder. She recalled a time where she had lower limb paralysis and the

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doctors thought it was psychiatric or something. They’re testing on me right now because they

think I have ADHD. I asked her if she was currently taking any medication. No. My dad, since

he’s in AA, he doesn’t want me on any medication or anything. And he told the lady that, but she

told him that if I was diagnosed with ADHD that I would have to be put on medication. To be

honest, whatever she thinks will cure me. I don’t think you can cure ADHD but, hey. And I’m bi-

polar. She is hopeful medication will stop her from acting out before she can have time to think

about the consequences of taking the medication (Walker, Muno, Sullivan-Colgazier, 2015).

Both girls have been diagnosed, according to the directors at the centers, with Bi-polar

disorder and depression (Marsh, 2016). One of the girls was on a medication regime while the

other was not on any medications at all.

Conclusions

Each participant’s story showcases the trials and tribulations met by these two girls who

are at-risk. They have hopes and dreams like any other girls. They have fought, both literally and

figuratively, their way through this life and have ended up at alternative education centers. They

are in very different emotional places and yet still need substantial amounts of support from both

their loved ones and service providers (Sharpe, 2016). Without these supports their

developmental trajectories are at risk and their risk for recidivism increases (Fontaine et al.,

2009; Tile & Rose, 2007).

A Total Shutdown

I called the center looking for Shay. I wanted to stop in prior to the end of the school

year. I also had already made arrangements to speak with another girl who was interested in

being a part of the research.

Hi there. May I please speak with Mr. Smith?

Hello Mrs. Curtis. I’m sorry to inform you that he no longer works here.

What do you mean he doesn’t work there anymore? I was just there yesterday!

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This was a very abrupt change.

Okay. Well I have scheduled to meet with Anaia today and I wanted to confirm that

appointment and be sure she was in class today.

Anaia is also not here. Our center will no longer be providing services to girls.

I’m sorry, what? You are no longer providing services to girls?

Yes, that is right.

Oh…Okay, thank you.

I am in utter shock and frantically call the other center location, the one off the busy

industrial highway.

Hi there, it’s Jessica. I just got off the phone with the other center and they said that they

are no longer providing services to girls. How can this be?

We have had a shift in our mission. This center location will also no longer be servicing

girls.

Wait, this center isn’t either? So what has happened to the all the girls?

They have been displaced.

CHAPTER FIVE FINDINGS

Purpose of the Study

The principal purpose of this study was to explore the educational journeys of girls prior

to their placement in an alternative education center. Although the fields of education and

criminal justice recognize the importance of examining firsthand experiences, girls’ voices are

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still largely missing from the research (Sharpe, 2016; Knight, 2009). The study offered the

participants a platform to share their journeys and examined the intersectionality of race,

disability and gender.

Review of the Findings

There are a multitude of tensions that exist in narrative research for many and the impetus

of the tension lies with their own conceptualizations of research. From children we are taught the

scientific method. We are directed to state just the facts as they present themselves throughout the

cyclical process of experimentation. We are trained to stay out of the research and that our

opinions are hurdles to avoid.narrative; however, suggest that identity, opinion and the

researched are potentially one in the same (Smith & Sparkes, 2006). The researcher may indeed

negotiate his/her own identity while constructing the narrative.

This study employed both the narrative as the analysis and an analysis of the narrative to

ensure the answers to the research questions were explicably answered. The research questions

posed were designed to explore the interconnected relationship between each participant’s school

experiences, as they related to race, disability and gender. The questions are explicitly stated and

answered below.

Question 1: What stories do girls being educated in alternative settings tell about their

education?

The stories told by the girls illuminated the issues brought forth in their schooling as a

factor in their educational derailment. Similar to the work of Shippen et al. (2012), Jocelyn and

Shay experienced suspensions as well as a lack of connection with teachers and administrators

throughout their educational journeys. Their succeeding detachment from school therefore

created a window of opportunity for delinquency.

Jocelyn

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Jocelyn spoke briefly about her kindergarten teacher. While she could not remember her

name, she said she was kind and had a big heart. Jocelyn described kindergarten as the “best

years ever.” I asked her what made that year so amazing. She stated, “All I did was go to sleep,

do a little work…it was so fun. We would go outside and play games.” She remembered that her

kindergarten teacher also yelled. “And every time she’d [the teacher] get mad at one of the kids,

she’d start to yell and stuff.”

Jocelyn informed me that she was held back in kindergarten. She said, “I didn’t know I

was [held back]. My momma told me in like the fifth grade.” She did not remember being held

back or how it made her feel at the time. She was simply matter of fact about the situation.

Jocelyn described herself as being sensitive when she was younger. Her tone was

decidedly negative when conversing about this characteristic. “Well back then I was sensitive.

Like every time somebody like would yell at me, I’d start to cry and stuff. I hate when people

yell at me.” She informed me that this particular teacher was an old White lady.

As we explore further into the history of her schooling, she states, “Second grade was

harder.” She follows that comment directly with a story about a girl she wanted to fight, in

second grade. “I remember I wanted to fight this girl in second grade. She yelled at me too.

That’s all I remember.” There were brief conversations about academics however, I found most

of our discussions veered back to fighting. She became anxious to talk about other grades.

“Oh, fourth grade I remember I got into a fight with this girl. It was on the bus. I tore that

girl behind up.” She was particularly animated when telling this story. She bounced in her chair

and smashed her hand into her fist. “I always win my fights and I never lose them.” I asked her

what winning a fight means. “She’s [the other girl] bleeding.” I clarified and asked so whoever

draws blood first is the winner? Jocelyn giggled and stated “that’s right.”

She continued on regarding the academics in fourth grade.

Fourth grade was easy, a little bit. We’d go outside

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and play but sometimes the work was hard. When I

was in third and fourth grade and stuff, I did not

know math. I hate math so much because it was do

hard for me to know. And then when I get something

right, you know, I love math.

I could honestly relate. When I asked her how she felt about math today she stated, “I hate it

still.”

I ask her if she remembered the situation with the girl who’s behind she tore up. “She was

talking about me. She said I looked like a rat. It was weird. I never said anything about her.” I

asked her what happened. She said, “I wanted her to touch me first. She touched me and I

punched her.” I asked her if she remembers what happened after that. She was suspended for five

days. “I think it was like five days. In elementary it wasn’t that long.”

When we delved deeper into her schooling, she was even more candid about her middle

school experience.

I used to be the class clown. I used to disrupt the class. I do crazy stuff.

Now that I’m more grown up, like getting older, my anger problems get so

bad. They [family, administration, and teachers] said they felt like if they

sent me here [the alternative center] there were less people here and

I won’t like get into trouble. But I got in trouble here and fought a lot here.

Jocelyn has been to several schools over the past three years. She attended a public

middle school and then was sent to an alternative school. She was removed and placed at her

current, more restrictive, alternative school.

While in her current placement she had been arrested twice and suspended twice for five

days. With the first arrest she was placed in a residential center. “It’s got a lot of gates and stuff

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with wires on it like jail. It’s just like jail.” I asked her where she slept at night and she stated,

“On these hard mats in these rooms where they lock us in.” I asked her if she was alone in this

room. “I always have a roommate.” We discussed the first time and night she ever was in a

detention center. Jocelyn remembers her first time was filled with worry.

Oh, when I can first went to the detention center I did not like it at all. I swear to God,

I did not like it. I hated it. I wanted to go home. I couldn’t sleep at all. I was just thinking about

stuff in there. I didn’t want to go to bed at all. I stayed up until I had to go to court. When I went

to court the next morning, man, they told me I could go home and I was so happy.”

The next times Jocelyn would stay longer and longer. This last stay was just under 21

days. “They were supposed to let me do twenty-one, the whole twenty-one, but they let me go

home early and I was so happy.”

I waited for over a week to see Jocelyn at one point. Each time I would call to make an

appointment to see her, she was out. I later found out she had been suspended for an entire

school week. When I asked her what happened she stated, “I fought the boy next door.” I simply

asked her why. “Sorry dude but this boy was so disrespectful. They all disrespectful here.”

Shay

Much like Jocelyn, many of Shay’s school memories are of altercations and brutal fights

rather than academics. There is a drastic difference in Shay’s stories. In addition to her fights

with other students, Shay also attacked teachers. Below are two different instances with two

different teachers.

Incident 1. Shay describes a time that she cheated in class. She received a C and the girl

she cheated off of received an A. She became irate and stated that the teacher graded her paper

wrong. The teacher asked her to tell her if she cheated. Shay stated that the teacher would

typically just change the grade to the one you should have received.

But um, she graded my paper a C and

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I wanted the A. So, I threw gum at her.

It wasn’t like chewed up gum or anything.

It was just like, a pack of gum and I just

threw it.

She received a referral for this particular episode.

Incident 2. Shay was in gym class. She had her phone out when she acknowledged she

should not have. She stated she was speaking with her dad and the teacher asked for her phone.

Shay told the teacher no. The teacher told Shay to talk to her dad later. The situation escalated.

Shay told the teacher she didn’t need to talk to him later since she was speaking to him now. The

teacher told her she would get someone to escort her out of the gym if she didn’t give her the

phone.

She was like, well then, if you don’t give me your

phone I’m going to have to have somebody come

escort you. And so, I threw my phone at her. Yeah. It

hit her in the back of her head when she was walking

away. So, I got arrested for that.

Shay was matter of fact in all of the details she purported. Her academics floundered due to her

social activities.

And then my ninth grade year, was- I have to

say like, the best but the worst year of my

school years. I liked school, but I did none of

my work. None of it. I got straight F’s and D’s.

And the only reason I got D’s was because

I passed my EOC’s [end of course assessment].

Shay’s elementary school years were trying. According to Shay, most of her issues

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started with her home situation and spilled into school.

I actually went to eight or nine elementary schools. It

was really like hard. I’d make friends and then get really

close to them and then I would up and move without

like no goodbyes, nothing.

She remembered one teacher in her life that she felt made an impact. It was her

kindergarten teacher. “We would talk, you know, on a day-today basis.” Shay went on to say,

“But I was only with her for three or four months.”

We continued the conversation about her schooling focusing on middle and high school.

Similarly to Jocelyn, Shay focused in on her fighting rather than her school work. Her

perceptions of her teachers were that they did not care. “It’s like they can treat you anyway and

not [give] the same respect they [got].” Shay stated “I’ve had a lot of those teachers like this, that

would just sit at their desk and like, if you ask for help they would like, tell you to ask a friend or

like, ask your partner or something.”

Question 2: To what extent is race featured in the girl’s stories of their educational

experiences?

Jocelyn

The first time Jocelyn had the police called on her it was by her mom.

I used to cuss at her a lot. We were arguing

that day. I tried to get past her. I was right here

and she was like this blocking the door so I won’t

go by. I was like mom, move. Move! So I went under her.

I tried to go under her and I accidently pushed

her against it [the doorway].

Her mother called the police. The police came out to the house. They questioned her, took

a statement from her mother and proceeded to handcuff her behind her back as they escorted her

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to the patrol car. She was thirteen at the time. She was placed in the back of the car and taken to

the juvenile assessment center (JAC). I asked her how she was with the police. Her statement

spoke volumes about her experience as an African-American in the United States. “I was nice.

Every time the police get around me, I be nice. I don’t want them to kill me.”

Jocelyn was being educated in a warehouse district that was not far from her home. While

she took the bus, it was a short ride for her. Other kids in her school could walk from the nearby

neighborhoods. “Yeah, some kids walk home.” There were students in her class from her

neighborhood that she knew “I knew her from a long time ago. She not my best friend, but she’s

like my friend that I talk to and stuff.” The stories of her neighborhood included nightly gun

shots and even a dead body found at her apartment complex.

I heard a gunshot, so I looked out my window

and the man was running. A man shot at him.

He fell by my window. Everybody had called

the police and the police came. Me and my

cousin looked at his face and this what he was

like, dead. His eyes were like open and his

mouth was like open too. They were trying to

pump his heart so he could come back.

Poverty and stressors are not superficially related to race but indeed contribute to

educational disparities among marginalized students and students of color.

I asked Jocelyn about her favorite subject in school. “I don’t have a favorite subject. I

just like Black history month.” Black history month is celebrated one month per school year. It is

also the shortest month in the calendar year. When I inquired about whom her favorite person

was that she had learned about during Black history month she stated, “Martin Luther King cause

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he said the right thing. His speeches are real good.” This conversation between Jocelyn and I was

the personification of the purpose of culturally responsive pedagogy.

Shay

Shay was being educated in close proximity to a country club that boasted a beautifully

maintained golf-course and expansive lake. The center itself was decrepit, yet it was nestled

among multi-million dollar homes. All of the students were bused there. Some came from over

an hour away according to the behavior specialist. The students at this center were racially

diverse. Shay stated “it’s like homey here.”

The students at Shay’s center had a dock where they ate their lunch daily. The

multipurpose room overlooked the water and when it rained that space became their cafeteria.

According to Shay’s behavior specialist, the teachers were able to launch boats into the lake and

explore the water with the students whenever they staff saw fit.

Shay’s home environment had vastly improved from the stories of her childhood. “Our

parents were going from trailer park to trailer park and hotel to hotel.” The Department of Child

and Family services caught up with the family during a drug deal in the early morning hours. At

that time her father and mother are arrested and she is sent to foster care.

DCF split us all up and sent us all to different

homes. My sister and I lived with these Black

people that owned a day care. I lived with the

Black people that had one blood daughter and

um, two other foster kids.

It is in this placement that Shay is victimized by the daughter of her foster parents. “I had to sleep

with their biological daughter, which was seventeen, around there at the time and she would rape

me basically.” According to Shay this went on for around three months until her grandparents

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took her in. Shay entered counseling where she divulged her story to her counselor and

eventually to her father.

“Friday I went to a football game and then went home. And then my best friend stayed

the night. And Saturday at the movies.” Shay presently lived with her sister and recently sober

father in a home in a middle class neighborhood within walking distance to her zoned school.

She told stories about her weekend plans and outings with her family and how her life was so

different than it once was.

Question 3: To what extent is disability featured in the girl’s stories of their

educational experiences?

Each girl gave her best understanding of services provided to her at the previous schools

they attended. Jocelyn divulged that she indeed received speech services. “I went to speech a lot.

Speech was fun. They came to the place where I was arrested at. We did speech there.”

Each girl candidly shared her struggle with bipolar disorder. While it was unclear if they

received special education services related to their bipolar diagnosis, what was clear was that

each girl understood the gravity of the disorder and how it influenced her daily life.

Jocelyn

Jocelyn discussed her new medication regimen. She was on two different drugs for her

bipolar diagnosis and complained that they made her tired. She suggested that her medication

was the reason she always wanted to sleep in class “I’m supposed to work. Pills make me so

sleepy. I be so exhausted I can’t even do work.” She also said she felt that her anger was getting

worse as she was getting older.

I disrupt the class a lot. I get tardies and stuff.

And I get suspended a lot. That’s what made me

come here. I got suspended a lot. But first they

sent me to [a different alternative school]. It

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was bad. Girls there wanted to fight me too, and

I did fight them.

The last visit I had with Jocelyn she was bright eyed. I spoke to her directly about how perky she

seemed. “I didn’t take my pills. I feel good. I did my work finally.” She continued,

Well, this morning I didn’t feel good because I

guess these girls, I used to be cool with, they

done turned on me and they ain’t fucking with

me like that. [It was] something that Dijon

said and stuff. Just cause he commented a

heart on

her picture. She showed me and I was like, okay,

I don’t go with him anymore so I don’t care.

It was obvious she did care and she was clearly hurt by the conversation on the bus on her way to

school.

Shay

Shay offered insight to her mental health diagnosis of Bipolar however, she rejected the

notion that she was ever in special education classes.

No. Never. No, but um, in middle school,

I got in trouble so often that um, every morning

I had to go get this piece of paper. It was just like,

every teacher had to sign and say how my day

was and stuff like that. Then I would have to take

it to the principal.

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She also described a time she was in a fight and received a ten-day suspension.

My fifth grade year, this girl called my mom a crack

head at lunch. And I wasn’t having that. So while

she was in the bathroom and peeing, I kicked in the

stall and I just started fighting her…Yeah. I don’t

know what was going through my mind. I actually

felt kind of psycho afterwards, because – I was

smiling and like walk[ed] away.

But I got suspended for ten days.

Her comment regarding her exactly ten day suspension could be an indication that she

does receive special education services. I never received a clear answer due to the center not

having her cumulative folder or updated documents from her zoned school.

Shay divulged that she had been diagnosed with Bipolar disorder and Attention

Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder. She was not currently on any medication for either diagnosis. Her

father was in Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) and was concerned that she would become addicted

to any medication provided to her; he was staunchly against her using any prescriptions.

Shay described times where she would see black and she would become enraged. She

qualified her statement suggesting at those times she felt “pyscho.” She disclosed that the

therapist was in conversations with her father regarding medication for her Bipolar diagnosis but

nothing had been decided. “My dad, since he’s in A.A., he doesn’t want me on any medication or

anything and he told the lady [the therapist] that.” I asked her what her feelings were about being

put on medication. “To be honest, whatever she thinks is going to cure me.”

Question 4: To what extent is gender featured in the girl’s stories of their educational

experiences?

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It has been widely purported that girls encounter harsh punishment for status offenses or

mild delinquent behavior as compared to their boy counterparts (Liddell & Martinovic, 2013).

The clash of gender societal norms and the girls’ schooling was evident throughout each

interview. There were stories told regarding relationships and dress coding that negatively

impacted the educational trajectory of each girl.

Relationships. Being a romantically or sexually involved at-risk, adolescent girl can be a

toxic combination (Morris, 2016; Sherman, 2005; Steketee, Junger & Junger-Tas, 2013). These

caustic relationships often contribute to the delinquent behavior of girls, but have very little

effect on boys. Failed adolescent relationships can severely negatively impact girl’s self-esteem

and increase the likelihood of depression. Depression can help to set the scene for sexually risky-

behavior in girls at risk and can cause the girls to be susceptible to sexually transmitted diseases,

as well as, increase the probability that they will encounter abuse (Chesney-Lind, et al., 2008).

Jocelyn

Jocelyn had repeatedly been arrested for battery since she was thirteen. She spent almost

21 days in a juvenile detention facility during the time this study took place. Even so, she rarely

steered the conversation away from the boyfriend who had just broken up with her (Dijon). Her

fixation with him and their relationship was all consuming. No matter what topic we were

discussing the topic of Dijon always ended up front and center. She told me about an issue she

was now having with her friends due to a social media post that Dijon had commented on.

This girl, Sierra, she like, do Dijon got a

right hand [girlfriend]? I was like, I don’t know.

She showed me something on her phone. It said,

he wrote on her Facebook That’s real cutie,

you should be my little baby. I was like that is so creep.

You’re[Dijon] like messin’ with the girl that

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I was friends with. And these hoes is so fake.

And then I was fixin’ to fight them.

Shay

When Shay and I spoke about boys, she was quick to inform me that she did not have a

boyfriend at this time. She was talking with a boy but they were not considered boyfriend and

girlfriend. She had boyfriends in the past and they caused her to lose focus on what was important

her: family.

I had a boyfriend at the time that I was dating since

eighth grade. And I was more focused on him and his grades so

that he could play basketball than my grades. And rather than

doing homework. I lied to my dad about my grades.

Dress Coding. Dress coding denotes to when a student is out of compliance with the

school’s dress code. The student may be referred to the office for a plethora of reasons. For

instance: offensive language on a shirt, low hanging pants, tight/short skirts etc. are just some

possible dress code violations. In response to these infractions, the student may have to wear a

shirt provided by the office or turn his/her shirt inside out so the offensive language is illegible.

If a student’s pants are hanging down too low, exposing his/her underwear, the student may have

to use zip ties to tighten their pants around the waist. Each of these issues resulted in the student

headed back to class.

What I was surprised to learn, was when Shay was “dress coded” in her school, the

procedure was to contact her guardian. If a guardian was unreachable at that time, there were two

possible consequences for the infraction. She was either sent to in school suspension (ISS) or

sent home. When I asked Shay to clarify what dress code violation served as a catalyst for her

being sent home, she stated that she wore leggings to school. I um, wore leggings like the second

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week I was there because everyone else wore leggings. And as soon as I wore leggings, I got

dress coded and sent home. They [school administration] told me not to return [that day].

Conclusions

The interconnected nature of race, disability and gender all play an important role in the

educational pathway of marginalized girls. Parameters are often set around how we support

students based on financial limitations and time constraints that can make our jobs less laborious.

The truth is it takes time to understand each child and their circumstances.

Girls like Jocelyn and Shay have asked for a community of listeners including their peers

and adults who can advocate on their behalf. Engaged listening can also create a sense of

liberation and self-advocacy for the girls involved. Shay suggests that sharing her life experience

with other girls may “help others you know, those have been through similar situations and [tell

them] I promise you things are gonna get better. Keep your head up.” With support from the

educational community (peers included) girls would be guided towards successful completion of

their schooling. Lastly, they may also come to a deeper understanding of who they are thus

igniting within them a sense of empowerment.

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CHAPTER SIX DISCUSSION Introduction

This chapter will discuss the theoretical lens and review the findings of this study in

relation to the guiding research questions. In addition, I present a discussion of the challenges of

the study, positionality, and recommendations for future research.

This research study aimed to contribute to the literature by gaining the insight and

perspectives of girls who were being educated in an alternative center. The present study sought

to better understand how previous experiences had impacted the girls’ educational trajectory. The

fields of both education and juvenile justice have long called for further research where girl’s

voices would be heard (Stein et al., 2015). Much of the literature is focused on pathways to the

juvenile system or the school to prison pipeline (STPP), but there is little research constructed

with the student’s voice at the forefront.

The methodology of narrative inquiry allowed the nuances of the participants’ lives to be

explored. The context of each story was kept intact to examine the lived experience of each girl

in a holistic manner. Through the theoretical frameworks of radical feminism and critical race

theory (CRT), the experiences leading these two girls to an alternative education have been

scrutinized.

Theoretical Lens

This study was guided through the theoretical lenses of critical race theory (CRT) and

critical feminism.

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Critical Race Theory. Critical race theory is considered a “structural discrimination that

permeates all aspects of society” (Chadderton, 2013, p.40). Critical race theory (CRT) suggests

that perhaps there is a normalcy to racism (Daniels, 2011). It is part of the woven tapestry of

white hegemonic history and therefore infused within the American culture. This hegemonic

structure is personified in school settings across the country. The group of marginalized students

being most severely impacted by this power structure is students of color, and even more

specifically Black students.

Nationwide, [B]lack boys are at the highest risk,

three times as likely to be arrested at school as their

white male peers. And African-American girls fare

little better: They are more than 1.5 times as likely

as white boys to be arrested. (EdWeekly, Jan. 24, 2017)

This statistic was evident as the research for this study was conducted. The majority of

students being educated in the alternative center placement were black. These students were

either one step closer to being placed in a juvenile detention center or had just been released.

This current study showcased the difference in experiences and one could say the

dissimilarities are race based. But the girls did not articulate race as a factor in their experiences

at all. Race never came up. Not one time. This peculiarity led me to believe that indeed racism is

deeply nestled in the culture of schools and society. Even when directly confronted with race

issues, neither girl could identify race as a factor that may have impacted her success or failure

(i.e. location of the center and terrified of the police etc.).

As stated in the previous chapter, seemingly meaningless placements of certain students

at certain centers were undoubtedly race related. Center one was disproportionally Black while

center two was diverse. Center one serviced students from the adjacent neighborhood located in a

low-income, warehouse district. Center two bused students from more than an hour away into an

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upper-class golf course community. It’s not to say that the center was deliberately continuing a

racist agenda, however; the issue is so deeply rooted that without critical examination of the

status quo these inequities go unhindered. CRT central tenet demands the critique of the

“educational enterprise” (Leonard, 2012, p. 428).

Those who are in power wittingly, or unwittingly, deny students access to a multiplicity of

opportunities keeping the power structure firmly in place. CRT is not only a critical study of race

in education, it is also a call to action. It demands that the educational researcher look at central

issues of race before seeking to discuss other challenges such as sexism or socio- economic status

(Leonard, 2012).

The girls in this study were so deeply involved in systematically raced structures

(education and justice systems) that their identity as a White girl and Black girl were nearly

impossible to detect. They have learned, or more accurately, they have been trained over the

years- that they are the root cause of their problems: it is not the system but their choices which

have caused them so many traumas. This incarceration discourse (Wing, 2010) ignores the

context of the offenses perpetrated by the girls and lays blame squarely in the lap of a child or

adolescent. CRT turns incarceration discourse on its heels and demands the systems engage in

critical examinations related to its role in the offenses and continued strains of these girls and

race is clearly a factor.

Critical Feminism. Critical feminism and CRT share similar goals and aims in the

constant examination of power structures at play. The main difference is critical feminism is

concerned with the lived experiences of girls and women no matter her racial/ethnic background.

Critical feminism specifically engages in challenging the status quo related to the patriarchal

society, which strategically and systematically creates a male dominated culture. It’s radical

feminism that also calls for a reordering of this power structure.

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Critiques of critical feminism suggest there is little attention paid to the intersectionality

of race and class. Some have even suggested that critical feminism is nothing more than an

attempt to “speak hyperbolically about a universal sisterhood” (Echols, 1989 p. 10). Critical

feminist have consistently addressed these concerns by stating analysis and critique of racism and

other forms of oppression have always been at the forefront of the radical feminist agenda

(Whisnant, 2016).

Each of the girls’ narratives was constructed through both a CRT and critical feminist

lens. It is difficult to ignore the masculine over and undertones of the alternative center and how

it affects the girls being serviced there. From being sexually harassed by the other students at the

center, to the issues regarding dress coding prior to entering the centers, these girls’ experiences

in school has been strikingly gendered.

Shay in particular, told a story about her skirt being too tight on her bottom according to

her school. She was sent to in-school suspension for the rest of the day because of the

interpretation of the dress code by administrators. She was quick to clarify that her skirt was a

maxi-skirt (meaning it was almost to the length of the floor). I couldn’t help but think to myself

how does a teacher or administrator determine the tightness of a girl’s skirt? Aren’t most clothing

items (ex. Jeans, shorts, skirts) tight on your bottom? Isn’t that how they stay on your body?

Then I snapped out of asking myself those types of questions and became enraged. Here is a girl

struggling to connect with school. On the day she actually decides to go to school, the first thing

someone in an authority position told her was that her clothes were inappropriate (sexual

undertones). She is then sent to in-school suspension.

Meanwhile Jocelyn was suspended for attacking a boy at school who called her a sexually

explicit name. It was how she thought to defend herself. I am not by any means suggesting

hitting the boy was a good idea, but it was her method of self-defense. He attacked her character

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by shouting across the classroom filled with her peers, that she was engaged in a sexually explicit

act. She reacted and was suspended, again.

These gendered issues are well documented in literature (Chesney-Lind, et al., 2008;

Gage, Joseph & Lunde, 2012; Smith-Adcock, Lee, Kerpleman, Majuta, & Young 2011) and

continue to be common place in the education system. Radical feminism demands the

organizations that service women and girls combat exploitation and sexual violence against

women. This study contextualized the sexualized nature of issues that plague at-risk girls in

educational settings. It has also highlighted the sexualized and gendered nature of attacks on girls

who statistically have been victimized in the past (Liddell & Martinovic, 2013).

Summary of Findings

This study engaged two girls in semi-structured interviews navigating their educational

journeys. The interviews occurred over the course of five sessions. Within those conversations

issues of race, disability and gender were explored. Each was examined to determine to what

extent any or all three of those issues may have had an impact on the educational lives of the

participants. Employing the methodology of narrative inquiry allowed for the girls’ stories to be

told while adhering to the themes that emerged. Those themes helped to inform the structure of

the final narrative; this included similarities across themes, as well as, divergences.

A major contribution of this work is the girls determining what they consider important

factors in the ups and downs of their lives. Their voices and the impact of their life experiences

on their journeys (educational and otherwise) allow unique insight to the significant issues they

battle daily. Each question will be addressed with discussion in conjunction with literature

regarding girls at-risk.

Question 1. What stories do girls being educated in alternative settings tell about their

education?

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Students who exhibit or have been identified as having behavioral disorders need

intensive emotional, behavioral and educational support to improve their life trajectories (Flower

et al., 2011). For Shay and Jocelyn each day at school was riddled with failing grades and

fighting classmates. There was no connection to adults and friends were hard to come by for

these two girls. In one interview, Jocelyn even related court to school. They were synonymous to

her. At the end of the day, there is an adult (teacher or judge) telling you what you can and cannot

do and you are to listen or suffer the consequences. The girls’ conversations about their

education focused around disengagement and struggle. Both girls struggled academically

throughout school. Both girls’ home lives bled into their school lives at a very young age.

Neither of them could remember an encounter with a teacher that was positive after kindergarten.

They felt ignored, unimportant and powerless. Fighting and violence changed that for

them. It is important to note that most stories in or outside of school centered around fighting for

both girls. The sense of power these girls felt overshadowed any remorse for improprieties

against their classmates. The violence snowballed from punishment at school into a criminal act.

These girls have been to juvenile detention facilities multiple times for battery. With convictions

they gained credibility amongst their peers. With credibility they gained power over others. I

assert that had a teacher reached out in the first, second, third or any grade and made a positive

impact on these girls, perhaps they would not be in an alternative center. Teachers have that kind

of power. But it is critical in teacher preparation that we prepare candidates to attend to all

students; to notice all students. While academics are the cornerstone of schooling it is also crucial

to look at the whole child. To see the whole child entails acknowledging all the history and

struggles they bring along with them to school.

Tille and Rose (2007) described the phenomenon of sensitivity perceived as a weakness.

Once the perceived weakness is self-identified, the unwanted characteristic is substituted with

violent outbursts. In a similar manner, Jocelyn appeared to mask her sensitivity with aggression.

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Being sensitive left Jocelyn vulnerable, therefore she created a new more violent persona to

conceal her perceived weakness, which would ultimately prove detrimental to her success in

school.

According to Van Dorn and Williams (2003) a sense of power (i.e. violence) creates the

sense of safety. Jocelyn recognized, at a young age, that sensitivity could lead to victimization.

Goodson and Morash (2016) discussed the importance of a girl’s desired ideal of her

possible self and how that desire ultimately affects behavior. The ability or inability for a girl to

see herself in a positive light was influenced by childhood experiences.

According to Goodson and Morash’s (2016) research, if a girl thought she could be

successful and held that belief throughout her schooling, she was indeed successful. Likewise, if

a girl’s perception of her future self was not positive, she was also accurate. Those girls with little

to no positive attainment perceptions often dropped out of school and/or broke the law. Jocelyn

had clearly identified herself as a class clown who disrupts and one who has become very angry.

Students with behavioral challenges often reported feeling disconnected from school.

Jocelyn’s stories were consistent with the literature. For example, girls who exhibit violence also

tend to feel isolated (Osher et al., 2012) and lonely.

Jocelyn stated, more than once that she believed most people were either talking about

her or they simply did not like her. These feelings made making friends in school nearly

impossible. Jocelyn’s diagnosis of Bipolar seemed to hinder her ability to foster interpersonal

relationships and left her secluded at her current school. Research shows co-occurring mental

health issues cause girls to become isolated and engage in risk taking behaviors (unprotected

sexual relations, drug use, violence etc.) (Leve & Chamberlain & Kim, 2015; Schleider & Weisz,

2016).

Extensive research has been conducted on the importance of teacher relationships with

their students to “… understand and address student’s emotional and social skills” (Osher et al.,

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2012, p.286). Empathic teachers are an integral part of the academic achievement of students

who are at risk of incarceration (Chesney-Lind et al., 2008). “And she was like, well then you’re

going to be nothing in life. And I like, walked out of the classroom” (Shay). According to Sharpe

(2016) there is an association between helping professionals (such as teachers and well- fare

agencies) failing to recognize and accurately respond to girls who have been victimized and their

delinquent activity. Understanding why a girl acts out has to coincide with treatment for possible

past/present maltreatment or trauma.

For Shay and Jocelyn, they felt they had no control of their lives inside or outside of

school. So they took their power back the only way they knew how. They fought other students.

They became powerful when inflicting violence. They expended their rage in a concentrated

manner and made someone else subservient to them. They were the powerful one handing out

consequences.

The student teacher relationship can serve as a protective factor for at-risk girls. Sanger et

al. (2010) conducted a study with 16 adolescents (12 males and 4 females) who were at-risk for

incarceration; some were on probation, some several misdemeanor adjudications. The study was

a qualitative study that asked semi-structured interview questions regarding home life, school,

peer relationships and any major life events. Three themes emerged, a) the importance of adult

relationships, specifically teachers and mothers b) the decline of father support c) and school

failure as a disappointment to the adolescents. While this study did not disaggregate boys from

girls, the data suggests relationships with teachers have an impact. Also, that school failure or

limited success can have a negative impact on all students. Both of these are significant findings

for teachers and are substantiated in this study as well.

Question 2. To what extent does race feature in the stories of these girls’ educational

experiences?

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As indicated in previous chapters, neither girl spoke of race other than to indicate an

adversary they fought (ex. there was this White girl, or I came at this Black girl). Both girls

indicated race of others, but not of themselves. According to the girls’ narratives there was no

explicit story regarding race. Yet if you delve into each story and critically analyze their

situations, the stories were indeed differentiated by race.

Jocelyn is a Black girl who was being educated in a warehouse district alternative center.

Her placement there was mandated by a judge after she had been removed from another

alternative center. In contrast, Shay was a White girl who was being educated in an alternative

center located in a golf course, country club community on an expansive lake. She determined

that her schooling was not going well and decided, with the support of her father, to register

herself for the alternative center.

These scenarios showcase stark differences between two girls. One could look at them

and say they have had different experiences and they happen to be different races. But research

tells us this is not a coincidence.

Racial and ethnic disparities are rampant.

Children of color ages 10-17 represent only

16% of the overall child population ages

10-17, but make up 34% Of children arrested,

38% of children adjudicated, and 68%

of children in residential placement.

(Child Defense Fund, 2014 p. 38)

The question remains, how to rectify this disparity? For more than twenty years the

conversation of culturally responsive teaching has been at the forefront of this conversation

(Ladson-Billings, 1998). However, teacher preparation programs and in-service professional

development continues to be lacking in this area. While many teacher preparation programs

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address multicultural issues, rarely are programs preparing teacher candidates to adjust their

teaching in the field.

Cultural immersion experiences for both in-service and preservice teachers have been

proven effective (Waddell, 2011). Teachers gain valuable insight related to the culture of the

school and ultimately the community-at-large. Through reflection, these teachers garner insight

into their own biases and come to better understand the different perspectives each community

represents, which supports the CRT lens employed in this study. These practitioners are better

prepared to engage all students in meaningful learning activities and culturally relevant content

(Schlein & Garii, 2011) and in turn, meet the needs of all students.

Culture in this instance can, and is intended, to refer to students with disabilities as well.

All over the country there are organizations that work with people with disabilities. Engaging

with students with disabilities from each category of IDEIA (2004) would ensure that the teacher

(pre-service or otherwise) had experience with a plethora of students. This type of cultural

immersion experience exemplifies the need for differentiation for all students, no matter their

disability status.

Current research has just begun to examine race and ethnicity as it relates to delinquency

in girls. Stein et al. (20015) suggests this is an important gap within the literature to address as

ethnicity, gender and race could be critical factors in creating responsive models of rehabilitation

for girls specifically. A recent study by Stein et al. (2015) reviewed archived documents of

approximately 657 boys and girls of racially and ethnically diverse backgrounds (30% Hispanic,

48% White, 24% African American and 11% self-identified as other) who were either in a

residential juvenile facility sentenced to live or who were preadjudication, meaning a limited stay

(4-21 days).

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The study was conducted to determine the Risk-Needs-Responsivity model and the

recidivism rates of those serviced. What was determined by the study was that White girls show

more pathology leading to adjudication then other races studied. They had what the researchers

called “problematic profiles” (p. 72). Examples of these characteristics were abuse, hard drug

use at early ages and parental difficulty. Stein et al. (2015) posit that their non-White peers may

have “been placed in a controlled environment when they are perhaps not as severe” (p. 72). The

findings of this current study would support those findings of Stein et al. (2015).

Jocelyn’s story is reminiscent of Evan-Winters (2017) work with Black girls as co-

researchers regarding on their school experiences. These girls were navigating hostile school

environments and literally fighting oppression with their fists, much like Jocelyn did almost

daily. In Jocelyn’s case, her alternative school center was a direct reflection of her neighborhood

environment. The stories of her neighborhood included nightly gun shots and even a dead body

found at her apartment complex. “I heard a gunshot, so I looked out my window and the man was

running. A man shot at him. He fell by my window. Everybody had called the police and the

police came. Me and my cousin looked at his face and this what he was like, dead. His eyes were

like open and his mouth was like open too. They were trying to pump his heart so he could come

back.” Evan-Winters (2017) suggested that there is inadequate support within the school system

to help girls cope with the hostility they face in school and in their neighborhoods in a non-

violent manner.

The center Jocelyn was at did not provide concrete visual representation that allowed the

imagination of the participants to explore possibilities beyond their circumstance. “Youth in

communities with concentrated disadvantages engage in delinquent behavior and substance

abuse in part because breaking the law cannot make things worse” (Steven, 2011 p.1437).

There was very little blatant discussion regarding race within the girls’ narratives. While

they did not overtly address the subject of race, I believe that race has had an impact on their

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educational experiences. Something as seemingly innocuous as the setting of an alternative

center can reflect racial discrepancy and promote radically different outcomes.

Question 3. To what extent does disability feature in the stories of these girls’

educational experiences?

Each girl originally stated that they did not receive special education services in their

schools prior to entering the alternative center. However, Jocelyn then indicated that she does

speech “a lot.” Shay reported behavior monitoring systems she used throughout her middle

school experiences. Both girls discussed the obstacles that being labeled Bipolar presented. Each

girl talked about times in life when she feels “psycho” with rage. Shay stated she sees “black”

and at times grins after violent outbursts. She recognized this as a troubling and was currently in

therapy to modify her behavior, as well as, potentially using medication to help manage her

symptoms.

These feelings of being “psycho” support research conducted by Vaughn, Newhill,

DeLisi, Beaver and Howard (2008) utilized psychopathy subscale scores and the relationship to

drug use, theft and violence. The subscale scores are comprised of self-reported data collected

through multiple questionnaires answered by girls who were in a residential facility (n=94). The

researchers concluded that “psychopathic traits do possess validity in predicting violence, theft

but not drug abuse” (p.250). A call for further exploration with careful consideration of the

convergence of psychopathic traits as they relate to mood disorders was suggested.

Youth with disabilities, learning difficulties, and challenging behaviors are

overrepresented in the juvenile justice community. Studies have shown that girls who are, or

have once been incarcerated, show signs of serious mental health symptoms (Schleider & Wesiz,

2016; Veysey & Hamilton, 2007). Both girls were acutely aware of their mental health status

(Philippe, Gloppen, Sieving, Borowsky, & Pettingell, 2016).

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Jocelyn portrayed herself as both victim and perpetrator and she continued to do so

throughout the interviews. Jocelyn’s scenario was similar to a study conducted by Tasca et al.

(2012) regarding girls who were perpetrators of violence. Typically the girls who victimized

others were immersed in violence throughout their lives. The same can be said for Shay. While

she was not victimized physically by her family, her surroundings were violent and consistently

unstable.

Students with emotional/behavioral disorders (EB) are typically suspended at least once

in their school careers. An alternative education center is the last chance placement afforded to

students with severe and challenging behaviors (Flower et al., 2011). Jocelyn was no different.

And while she did not self-identify as having school services regarding an EB disorder, her

reported history would lead one to believe she may have received services under Individuals with

Disabilities Education Act (2004) in her zoned school prior to being placed at her first alternative

center.

Question 4. To what extent does gender feature in the stories of these girls’ educational

experiences?

The girls in the present study told stories of their schooling that were decidedly gendered.

Dress coding was a term I was not familiar with at all. I had not seen it in the research or heard

about it in the schools I work in, however; dress coding is a very real offense. Girls’ clothes that

are deemed too provocative (i.e. tight, low, high, short etc.) can ultimately send a girl to ISS or

she may even be sent home. The practice of dress code suspensions in schools has become a

point of contention nationally. From social media post where girls upload pictures of their

infamous outfits to outrage from parents over missed school events due to dress code violation,

the issue of appropriate dress seems to be disproportionally female

Boys tend to be dress coded for offensive language represented on their shirts or for

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pants hanging too low. The shirt offense is easily rectified by having the student turn his shirt

inside out while low hanging pants can be addressed by either zip tie or safety pin, both of which

are readily available at most schools. Therefore, the boys tend to offend and remain at the school

for the day, interacting with their friends, continuing their education as they would on any other

non-offending day. In contrast, girls who do not have a change of clothes are sent to a room

separated from their peers. Instruction for the day is interrupted. When a girl violates the dress

code, that violation in the eyes of the school district, is apparently worth one day of school.

Shay talked about being sent home from school due to her family not being able to bring

her clothes to change into. Dress codes and the subsequent enforcement disproportionally impact

girls. There is a sense among society that we are sexualizing fashion or simply the attire of these

girls and could potentially cause them harm in the long run. According to Harbach (2016)

sexualization of girls may increase their incidences of sexism, limit their educational abilities and

encourage harassment and violence. Nationwide, girls who have been considered violators of

dress codes report a sense of injustice (Bates, 2015).

Challenges

The first challenge I encountered when beginning this study was finding girls. While

numbers of girls being educated in alternative centers (either mandated or volunteer) have

increased over the past two decades, their numbers are still relatively small in comparison to

boys (Zahn, 2009). Once I found the girls, many of them wanted to talk, but few of them could

remember to bring their consent forms back. Several lost the forms. So I presented them with

new forms, yet still two and three times the girls would lose them.

These girls also tend to be transient (Vaughn et al., 2008). Even those girls who have been

mandated to the center tend to not come regularly. When they break their probation period, they

are arrested and sent to the juvenile detention center for a stay of anywhere from one to twenty-

one days. This made it very hard to keep in contact with these girls.

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The two girls within the research offered a variety of experiences and I am forever

grateful for their participation. The stories are their own and while there are similarities across

narratives, generalization is not possible nor was it the aim of the study.

As these programs become more and more difficult to fund, it is imperative educational

institutions determine how to address these issues in a manner that is both cost effective and

meaningful to their most valuable stakeholders, the students. Too many times re-traumatization

is caused by the justice system in the name of “saving” these marginalized girls. Incarceration

which leads to isolation in alternative education centers has proven to be an ineffective means of

rehabilitation. Research shows that an adolescent who has contact with the justice system early,

has a higher probability of a lifelong struggle with the justice system (Forster et al., 2017).

I was committed to working with these girls for the purpose of this dissertation, but it

was also my desire to foster the relationship that we had clearly developed through this process.

However, one day the program shut down abruptly. I contacted the director of the program and

he informed me that the funding for boy-centered services was what was provided at that time

and therefore services to the girls had been ceased. I inquired about the whereabouts of the girls

(including one girl I had not yet started interviewing) and was told they had been displaced.

When I pressed what that meant, the words were simply repeated and no explanation was given.

He was as devastated as I was. I do not want to give the impression that this organization

cast these girls out through greed or malice. They were dedicated to the success of the girls and

were destroyed when funding was cut.

Positionality

In conducting this research, I could conceptually situate myself among the researched,

however; times had drastically changed. I am no longer part of this group of girls. I have had

some similar experiences and there were connections I could make to my past. But there were

stark contrasts between them and me. I sat next to Jocelyn and Shay as a doctoral candidate,

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teacher and more obviously a woman, no longer a girl. My connection to them had expired. I am

not even sure they ever saw a connection. I am no longer lower socioeconomic status. I am

privileged. I drove to the center in my car. I left when I wanted. I answered to no one. I was

effectively the “other”.

While I could so easily remember when my life mimicked theirs, it certainly didn’t now.

My age and status positioned me in a place of privilege that honestly made me uncomfortable

and had me searching for the old me. I could not stand being poor and living in a lower class

neighborhood. But this time, those characteristics would have been unifying. I could only speak

about them in the past tense with each girl, but wasn’t living that life every day and that is a very

different perspective.

During the study, there were numerous times where I would have to refocus my questions

to the research at hand, due to the extraordinary circumstances shared in the interviews. I

frequently felt I was the only ear these girls had to speak casually to. I would not make a

judgment of them; I would not give them something I thought they needed to work on. I was

simply listening to their story. When you stop and think about it, how many times has someone

asked you to tell your story and then simply listened? It is not something we are accustomed to.

I had no problem getting the girls to talk. There was not a single moment of discomfort

for them as evidenced by the stories they told and the details they provided. But for me, it was

different. At one point, in one of the interviews, I over stepped my bounds. I stepped clear over

the line of researcher and laid down judgement. Let me be clear, this was not a judgement of the

participant, but of her situation. I wanted so badly for her to understand that I was not complicit

in her story of abuse. I felt it my duty to say something, rather than nod quietly and smile. I am

still not sure if it was out of line but I do know I can sleep at night. Had I stayed quiet I am not

sure I would be able to say the same.

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From the first interview I knew I had developed a bond with each girl. Both shared with

me how happy they were to see me and to get to talk with me at each visit. I was sure to tell them

the pleasure was mine. It wasn’t until our second-to-last visit when I started to worry about the

end of this process and how it might affect each girl. It turned out that I would have no control

of how our relationship would end. When the center closed to the girls and moved them to

wherever, they were simply gone. I was one more person who had vanished from their lives.

Implications for Practice

The extent to which these girls poured their hearts, souls and experiences out to me so

early in our meetings came as a bit of a shock. As I started to speak to them in our first interview,

I fully intended to only discuss surface level issues and answer any burning questions they had

for me. That was my intension; their intensions were different.

They were ready to burst with conversation. They discussed deep issues with me from

day one. I would like to think that I have a face that launched a thousand stories but truth be told,

the only thing I did for these girls was give them power. Their voices were heard. Their stories

were important. Their lives were important. They were allowed to talk without interruption,

without judgement, without questions and probes as to why they would do what they did. I just

listened (well, most of the time). I was a person, an adult even, that had come to hear all about

them. At times they told me about when they were little. Other times the girls disclosed their

dreams and concerns for their futures. These girls wanted nothing more from me than what

everyone else wants in life; they wanted to be heard.

So many programs have learning objectives that are linked to a mission or purpose that

stretch beyond the scope of what girls have stated they need or want. After conducting this study,

it is clear to me that there must be a call to create a community of listeners. The objective of this

community would be to connect students with adults and other students who are interested in

listening to the storied lives of each other.

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There should be time in the day to discuss issues the students are having. This doesn’t

take long, a minute per student who wants to share (some may choose to pass). This exchange

keeps the teacher abreast of possible issues happening within the student’s life and opens the

door of communication between classmates. At-risk students typically lack interpersonal skills,

but girls especially crave emotional connections with others (Holsinger, 2008). Interpersonal

skills are lifelong abilities that deserve as much attention as reading or writing.

School systems could implement an after-school group of teachers who are designated

listeners. The school could incorporate other peers into the group as well. In organizations or

alternative centers this could be integrated into affective or social skills lessons weekly, if not

daily. There would have to be an understanding from the girls involved that teachers and staff are

mandated reporters. Any reports regarding abuse, neglect, or self-harm would have to be

reported.

Listening is an art form. It is something to practice and can prove invaluable to girls who

are in crisis. I recognize that this seems simple. I recognize that this is not the first call to action

for girls who already have a support system built of people who listen to them, but I challenge

you to ask yourself, if this is such a simple practice, why is it not being done more frequently?

This is cost effective and demands minimal time commitment from adults, but there could be

overwhelming rewards. We know girls who are connected to the schools have higher success

rates. We also know that girls are begging to be heard.

As I began this research, a few years ago, it struck me as odd to note such a divide

between the juvenile justice system and the educational system. When I enrolled in criminology

classes, my professors were shocked to see an education major. It was as though the two

institutions had no connection to one another. The thought was as if the students who ended up in

juvenile centers were seemingly no longer a part of the educational system. The mindset seemed

to be that the two should never meet.

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Pathways to the pipeline for students at-risk became foci of educational research in the

not so distant past. That research allowed an aerial view of the issues. This was a critical survey

of the landscape from above. The two systems were visible through this lens, but the

underground context at times became lost due to the magnitude of challenges in each system.

Prevention and protective factor research has come within the purview and this is a bit

muddy. Attention to prevention and protective factors offers an assumption that there is

something those in charge can change. It suggests something might be missing from the status

quo (i.e. the two systems). We must ask those students who unknowingly followed the pathway

Students also viewed