requirements.docx
The content of the essay is about three negative impacts of social media in business environment. Including an introduction, three negative impacts and a summary.
For each negative impact, we use one primary resource for supporting each claim and provide evidence. The resource must be primary source and the evidence must be quantitive. The research paper should include purpose of study, methodology, limitation and etc(Just to make sure you find a primary resource including the study result of quantitve data)
Each section of negative impact can have several paragraphs, but just to make sure there is a paragraph majorly talking about the data evidences that can support the claim. You can use some other resources in other paragraphs.
For this one, the requirement is to edit the previous essay in business writing style and also improve the content.
Some improvements I want for the essay are:
2. I was also told I need more interpretation for paper, like connecting the dots by interpreting evidence so as to add more value to the paper. Since the maximum of the paper is 4.5 pages and what I currently have is 3.5 pages, I guess I need like 2/3 page more.
3. The most important part of the essay is to edit each word and sentence in business writing style. Correct my Grammar. I will attach the requirement that teacher posted in the following pages.
4. Citation is MLA style. Citation (including in-text citation) and format
5. For the improvement of the essay, I would like to keep my current introduction, summary and the other two claims as much as possible but just adding some more interpretations and value on IMPACT 2 AND 3
Final Draft; 4.5 pages maximum; 200 points
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OVERALL CONTENT IMPROVEMENT (If needed) 1. If you scored above an 80 percent on your Persuasive CONTENT Essay before the deductions on the back page of the grading rubric, you do not need to make any significant content changes. Of course, please correct minor weaknesses, citation issues, and formatting issues as needed to earn these 30 points. 2. However, if you scored a 79 percent or less, you will need to significantly improve your content for the final Persuasive WRITING Essay. |
/ 30 points |
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ORGANIZATION and FLOW Perfect = 50 points Good = 42.5 points Fair = 35 points Poor = 0 – 30 points 1. Arranges information thoughtfully 2. Connects ideas coherently and logically a. Writes topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph b. Writes about only one topic per paragraph c. Includes only related information within each paragraph d. Inserts appropriate paragraph breaks (no paragraph > 12 lines; - 5 points for each paragraph > 12 lines) 3. Inserts appropriate page breaks to avoid “orphaned” headings on the last line of a page (- 5 points each) 4. Ensures logical, smooth information flow across the entire essay and ensures information is not disjointed 5. Uses three (3) primary headings and three (3) secondary headings (required with correct formatting; -5 points each for missing headings; - 2 points each for incorrectly formatted heading) 6. Uses transitions and/or transitional expressions to ensure flow and to link ideas from sentence to sentence and paragraph to paragraph (Effective transitions and/or transitional expressions are REQUIRED throughout EVERY paragraph of the essay.) 7. Ensures easy readability and comprehension |
/ 50 points |
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BUSINESS WRITING STYLE 1. Uses a tone and voice appropriate to the task and context a. Uses active voice for nearly every sentence b. Uses passive voice for no more than one sentence per page (- 5 points for every extra sentence) c. Uses action verbs instead of “to be” verbs when possible d. Avoids personal pronouns (I, me, my, we, us, our, etc.) 2. Demonstrates professional writing a. Uses a conversational tone that is neither too familiar nor formal b. Writes to enhance credibility c. Uses contractions sparingly d. Avoids referring to individuals by just their first names 3. Avoids folksy expressions, slang, inappropriate language, etc. 4. Presents ideas clearly and ensures easy understanding a. Uses clear, familiar wording b. Avoids vague or unclear subjects and pronouns (EVERY pronoun must clearly refer to someone or something specific. Subjects and antecedents must be easily identifiable; clarity is the writer’s responsibility.) c. Chooses the correct words d. Spells words correctly e. Uses precise words In addition to deductions for extra passive-voice sentences, points will be deducted for the average number of business writing style weaknesses and grammar/ mechanics errors per page from this section of the grading rubric. For instance,
0 – 3 per page = 108 – 120 points 4 – 6 per page = 96 – 104 points 7 – 9 per page = 84 – 92 points 10 – 12 per page = 72 – 80 points 13 – 15 per page = 60 – 68 points 16 – 18 per page = 48 – 56 points 19 – 21 per page = 36 – 44 points
NOTE: These weaknesses/errors add up very quickly. You will need to spend MANY, MANY hours editing your essay. Also, one sentence can have more than one error or weakness. In addition, the same mistake made 10 times on one page equals 10 mistakes not one mistake.
f. Expresses concepts in a parallel manner 5. Appropriately reduces sentence length a. Removes ALL opening fillers (It is, there are, here is, etc.) b. Reduces wordiness and compound prepositions c. Eliminates redundancies and unnecessary words 6. Uses numbers, dollar amounts, and percents correctly and consistently (See pages 600 – 601 in your textbook.) 7. Other_______________________________________________________
GRAMMAR and MECHANICS 8. Follows grammar/punctuation rules in your textbook, emphasizing the following: a. “A” and “an” b. Adjectives, adverbs, and modifiers c. Capitalization d. Italics for book titles and journal, magazine, and newspaper names e. Pronoun/antecedent agreement (Remember, the correct pronoun for a collective noun is it not they.) f. Subject/verb agreement g. Complete sentences (subject, verb, and complete thought) h. Consistent verb tense (avoid shifting verb tenses) i. Quotation marks for direct quotes and titles of articles j. Apostrophes k. Commas, semicolons, and colons l. Dangling and misplaced modifiers 10. Defines acronyms and unfamiliar terms the first time used 11. Reflects careful proofreading and eliminates typographical errors
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/ 120 points |
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Subtotal Points / 200 points |
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SEE REVERSE SIDE FOR ADDITIONAL DEDUCTIONS and TOTAL POINTS. |
For the best efficiency in editing, I suggest that you edit in the following order.
1. Improve your content if needed. See the grading rubric for more information.
2. Lower your percent of direct quotes if your Tii percentage on the Persuasive CONTENT Essay was above 13 percent or so.
3. Add and/or correct parenthetical citations, as needed. Each paragraph should probably have 2 - 3 parenthetical citations. Plus, a parenthetical citation should follow EVERY direct quote. Consider using the "sandwich" method where appropriate.
4. Improve organization and flow by adding transitional elements and expressions. End your INTRODUCTION with a short organizing paragraph that indicates your what your analysis will do in the NEGATIVE IMPACTS section. (Use your own words.)
5. Make sure your primary and secondary headings appear correctly. Avoid orphaned primary and/or secondary headings on the last line of a page.
6. Make sure no paragraph is longer than 12 LINES.
7. Make sure your page length (minus the Works Cited page(s)) is 4.5 pages or less, which is four (4) pages plus 13 lines on the next page.
8. Edit for passive voice and other business writing style issues listed on the grading rubric.
9. Edit for grammar/mechanics issues.
10. Avoid deductions listed on the second page of the grading rubric.
Edit your Essay for the following additional issues to ensure clarity and conciseness.
1. Eliminate ALL opening starters/fillers
Opening starters (OS) are empty words that begin a sentence or an independent clause in the middle of the sentence.
OS often create passive-voice wording and wordiness.
OS mostly take the form of there, here, or it followed by some form of a to be verb.
Examples of OS—it is, there are, here is, it could have been, there will be, etc.
2. Eliminate ALL vague pronouns
Vague pronouns (VP) force the reader to figure out who or what the writer is referencing.
Examples of VP—this, that, these, those, they, some, it, he, or she with an unclear antecedent.
When using this, that, these, those, and some, add a specific noun after the pronoun to clarify who or what you are referencing.
When using a personal pronoun, make sure the antecedent is clear and close in proximity to the pronoun.
3. Make all pronouns and antecedents agree in number and gender
Draw an arrow from the pronoun to the antecedent to make sure you are using a singular pronoun for a singular antecedent and a plural pronoun for a plural antecedent
Remember, the proper pronoun for a single company, organization, and other collective nouns is it not they.
Draw an arrow from the subject to the verb to make sure you are using a singular verb with a singular subject and a plural verb with a plural subject.
4. Remove compound prepositions, which create unnecessary wordiness
Due to the fact that Because
At this point in time Now or currently
As time would pass Over time
In the very near future Soon
As a general rule Generally
5. Eliminate redundancies, which add unnecessary words
Final outcome
Absolutely essential
Basic fundamentals
Each and every
6. Eliminate verbs turned into nouns
Conduct a discussion of Discuss
Create a reduction in Reduce
Give consideration to Consider
Make an assumption of Assume
Reach a conclusion about Conclude
Using Pronouns Clearly
Pronouns should:
1. Agree in number
If the pronoun takes the place of a singular noun, you have to use a singular pronoun.
2. Agree in person
If you are writing in the first person (I), don't confuse your reader by switching to the second person (you) or third person (he, she, they, it, etc.). Similarly, if you are using the second person, don't switch to first or third.
