BUSNESS WRITING

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ENG 306 Conciseness Exercise

Please follow the directions below and post your responses to Blackboard’s Discussion Board:

1. Make 3 sentences more concise (avoiding redundancy, padded phrases, and sexist language)

2. Revise 3 sentences so that they use a more plain language (avoiding language that is more formal, technical, or showy than it needs to be)

The Gasparilla Pirate Festival

“The annual Gasparilla Pirate Festival held in Tampa, Florida is a major cultural event that unifies the city and surrounding area through its month long celebration and activities. The events which occur from mid January until early February include the Gasparilla Festival of Arts, Gasparilla Distance Classic, The Pirate Invasion and Parade, and The Illuminated Night Parade. It is the overwhelming community involvement in the celebration that provides for one of the world’s largest and culturally diverse festivities held annually.

The Gasparilla Pirate Festival originates with the infamous pirate for which the celebration is named. Jose Gaspar was a former Spanish naval officer turned pirate that traveled the Florida coast from approximately 1783-1821 ransacking passing ships for their goods in order to amass treasure and creating a subsequent legend that grew in fame among Floridians.

In 1904 members of the Tampa business elite and chamber of commerce elected to adopt Jose Gaspar as the patron rogue of their city wide annual cultural celebration. What followed was the formation of the first “Ye Mystic Krewe of Gasparilla”. The krewe’s members planned a mock pirate invasion and capturing of the city to signify the beginning of the festival. The first invasion and parade was so successful that the demand for an annual event was overwhelming. The invasion and parade have been a Tampa tradition ever since and are now held on the last Saturday of January every year. Annually over 400,000 guests attend the event and it is estimated that over 20 million dollars is contributed to the local economy each year. The pirate festival has grown to encompass a full range of activities and now extends over the course of about four weeks.

The Gasparilla extravaganza occurs the week before the pirate invasion and festival and generally marks the start of the Gasparilla season. The extravaganza provides a family friendly atmosphere with a shorter parade route and more children oriented activities. The extravaganza culminates with one of the largest firework presentations in country. The show is produced by Zambelli International and is launched off three large barges located in the water off of Bayshore Boulevard along the parade route. The show encompasses music which is broadcast by speakers along the parade route. The extravaganza provides an excellent celebration for all the members of the family, especially children who will have an up close opportunity to grab beads and participate in the scaled down version of the pirate invasion and parade.”