Final paper

Also keep in mind that literally 25% of the grade for the Final Paper due at the end of Week Four is based on the Global and Local level revisions you make when compared to the Draft, so PLEASE be sure to manage your time accordingly this week so you can make any and all revisions needed. Do NOT just resubmit the Draft as the Final, or only make a few small changes/additions to it, as it will result in a low score.

If you have any questions about them feel free to ask!

Text in Conversation (3/5): the biggest issue your draft will need to overcome is not just generally discussing ocean problems, but rather using a summary of one specific "they say" text from Week One to establish an existing conversation about ocean health, and then "adding" or contributing a new point to it which the "they say" author didn't make. What happens in your draft is that you generally summarize a LOT of different issues, but that's not the idea with the paper--the body needs to be much more narrowed and purposeful, which is what the focus of the they say article will do.

Also, you need to cut a lot of content; the paper needs to be 4-5 pages, and yours is close to 8!

Thesis & Organization (3.6/5): remember that a thesis is just a single sentence found at the end of the intro; I think your thesis is the second paragraph of the draft. As for the organization and major parts of the paper, each of them--the intro, each body paragraph, and the conclusion--need some revisions and additions for the Final, which I have discussed in the mark-ups. This is especially true of the body, which is really just a collection of summarized sources that focus on an issue with the ocean.

Grammar, Style, and Citation (3.7/5): there are some grammar and style revisions to make, as well as many related to the formatting and citations since you used APA rather than MLA; I've done my best to mark them for you.