essay

Please review the grammatical and stylistic errors noted in previous essays that you are still continuing to make in your final essay. You need to eliminate these grammatical and stylistic issues noted as they are undermining the strength of your writing and lowering your grade. Review numbers noted from the Evaluation Writing Guide.

1, 2, 15, 14, 19, 5, 3, 20, 29, 6, 8, 11, 23, 22, 31.34.

Review and follow instructions for how to write this introduction. In the first sentence, state the subject(s) that you will analyze AND make a general comment that connects back to the essay question you are answering OR state the first part of your thesis. Then, if you have definitions that are essential to proving your thesis, state the definitions here. Then, (if you have not already stated the first part of thesis in the first sentence of introduction), state the thesis (the specific argument you will prove in your essay. Then, state the thesis breakdown in 3 separate/individual sentences: in each sentence, state what component of the thesis you will prove in that body paragraph and the main example you will analyze to prove that part of the thesis. The last sentence of your introduction will either be a general conclusion statement OR a secondary argument.

In the first sentence of body paragraph, rewrite the thesis breakdown from the introduction almost exactly or exactly as it is written in the introduction. Then, introduce and give the context of the example/action you will analyze in your paragraph. Then, explain why what happens in that example is important/significant. Remember, you can have 2 sentences maximum of summary but you can have as many sentences of analysis as necessary. After you have analyzed the first example/action, then you can introduce and give the context of a second action if you want to analyze two actions in one essay. Then, you can explain why what happens in that second example is important/significant and how it proves your argument/topic sentence. If you only are writing an essay with a general conclusion and not a secondary argument, then the last sentence of your essay should be to connect what you have proven back either to your topic sentence or your thesis in order to create an integrated argument within your essay. If you have a secondary argument, introduce it after you have explained how the action/example proved your thesis/topic sentence. It will probably take 1-3 sentences to explain how your analysis of earlier examples in paragraph also prove the secondary argument or part of the secondary argument. Your last sentence of the paragraph will be connecting analysis back to the secondary argument. Follow this structure and format for each body paragraph in your essay.

Review and follow instructions for how to write this introduction. For your thesis breakdown, you need to find the best example from the beginning of the story, the best example from the middle section of the story, and the best example from the end of the story that you can analyze to prove your thesis. You need to follow the same pattern for both texts using subject-by-subject breakdown. See the sample essay and try to use as a model for your own. You do not have a secondary argument or deeper insight to make beyond your thesis. 1, 2.

It is really important that you develop your analysis further - look at the sample essay and try to see how the points are more explicitly developed as well as the comments on this essay question in the attached handout which shows what types of questions you should be answering in each paragraph to develop that analysis more effectively. You need to go beyond 10 and 19 and 30 in your paragraphs.

You are giving too much plot summary - need to develop a more precise analysis of what you bring up - remember and follow the rules for plot summary - 2 sentences MAXIMUM before you start doing analysis.

Compare what you have written to the sample essay attached. Compare every paragraph you have written to the corresponding sample essay paragraph. Try to see the difference between what you did and what you need to do to write a more effective and analytical essay.

If you can create a more analytical framework, you will be able to create a more structured and explicit and effective analysis.