8.3

 

Example of my thesis statement that I need to discuss in my body paragraphs for  #3: Claude Steele's argument that stereotype threat negatively impacts student success can be both true and a convenient excuse for students underperforming in college.

• Now, I have to decide what body paragraphs I need to argue that my thesis statement makes sense and is a real solution to the problem of first-gen. students having a lower success rate in college. So, my first body paragraph will be about how stereotype threat is true.

1. The topic sentence tells the reader the point of the paragraph. Think of it as a mini-thesis statement for your body paragraph. Your topic sentence/point of the paragraph is:

• Example of a topic sentence: Many students experience sterotype threat when they get to college, which they may not even understand, and cause them to be self-conscious and lose focus on their academics. 

2. Explain your topic sentence a bit more here. Unpack that topic sentence by clarifying and spelling out what the point of this paragraph is. 

• Example of my explanation of topic sentence: Stereotype threat, as Steele points out, makes students focus on proving or disproving a stereotype about their identity in class. They know the stereotypes about their identities (gender, race, religion, age, etc.) so they work hard either live up to or prove the negative stereotype about them wrong. 

3. Source information/evidence is needed to demonstrate that your point. What proof do you need to convince the reader to believe you and "buy-in"?

• Example of source information/evidence to support my point: Steele describes Brent Staples' experience as a graduate student at the University of Chicago stating, "'I began to avoid people. I turned out of my way into side streets to spare them the sense that they were being stalked' . . . Staples was dealing with a phantom, a bad stereotype about his race that was in the air" (6). 

4. Provide commentary and analysis here. Explain the source information that you used and how the reader should or should not understand this. Don't rush this. EXPLAIN EVERYTHING.

• Example of commentary and analysis of the quotation above: It is clear here that Brent Staples experienced such a strong sense of stereotype threat that a simple walk in the park turned into a performance. Staples had to act extra non-threatening in order to prove the stereotype threat about his identity wrong in order to take a simple walk. This stresses Steele's argument that stereotype threat would have a significant impact in class or during tests since those are much more stressful situations than taking a simple walk. The stereotype threat was so strong that it took Staples' focus off his walk and placed it on disproving bad stereotypes about his identity. Needless to say, the focus during a test would be impacted by a student trying to prove that they belong in college or that they are "smart" enough despite their stereotype. 

5. Return to your thesis statement. Connect this body paragraph back to your thesis to remind the reader that this point helps to prove your thesis/solution. 

• Example of returning the point to the overall thesis statement: This is why Steele's argument that stereotype threat has a significant impact on success is so compelling. Some students may be very affected by stereotype threat, especially if they are in a situation that they are the minority like Brent Staples was or Ted McDougal in his class.