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Id wouldd thinkd thatd I'md ad veryd indecisived person,d sod whend itd comesd downd tod and importantd
decisiond thatd Id haved tod make,d Id wouldd definitelyd haved tod heard alld thed detailsd havingd tod dod
withd bothd sidesd ofd thed decision.d Id liked tod bed welld educatedd ind myd decisionsd sod thatd Id knowd
exactlyd whatd I'md gettingd myselfd into.d Whend makingd ad decisiond Id liked tod kindd ofd rund downd
thed prosd andd consd ofd eachd optiond fairlyd quicklyd asd welld asd lookingd intod thed specificd
reasonabled outcomesd tod eachd decisiond made.d Thed biggestd decisiond Id believed I'ved hadd tod
maked sod fard isd whend Id decidedd tod moved outd ofd myd parentsd house.d Id hadd justd finishedd
communityd colleged andd wasd planningd tod transferd tod ad fourd yeard colleged howeverd Id tookd ad
yeard offd tod workd sod thatd Id couldd saved upd somed money.d Evend thoughd myd parentsd stilld
offeredd ford med tod lived atd homed rentd freed asd usuald Id feltd Id neededd tod moved outd tod matured
mored andd tod startd gainingd somed experienced ond myd own.d Lookingd backd fromd ad financiald
standpoint,d nod Id don'td thinkd Id maded thed rightd decisiond becaused Id couldd haved beend savingd
ond ad lotd ofd billsd rightd nowd but,d ultimatelyd Id believed itd wasd worthd itd sod thatd Id couldd
understandd whatd itd isd liked tod bed independent.d Thered wasd notd tod muchd emotiond ind myd
decision,d I'md notd and emotionald guy,d howeverd thered definitelyd wasd ad lotd ofd communicationd
betweend myd parentsd andd Id sod thatd wed couldd bothd understandd whatd wasd goingd ond whichd
reallyd helpedd usd tod alld feeld mored comfortabled withd thed decision.d Atd thed timed I'md battlingd
movingd withd backd withd momd andd buyingd herd housed ind thed nextd 6d monthsd asd shed relocated
tod ad seniord livingd housingd whichd Id wouldd loved tod keepd myd momd housed butd Id don'td knowd
ifd med andd myd familyd wouldd bed comfortabled livingd withd myd mom.d Id decidedd notd tod moved
withd herd aboutd 3d monthsd agod because,d Id haved beend livingd ond myd ownd 15d yearsd withd myd
spoused andd Id feeld wed ared used tod ourd privacyd andd space.d Id definitelyd feltd thed decisiond Id
maded wasd reasonabled atd thed timed becaused tod med itd wouldd bed ad hardd transitiond thatd Id
personallyd wasn'td readyd for.d Emotionsd definitelyd playedd ad partd becaused Id keptd feelingd liked
Id wasd tood oldd tod lived withd myd momd evend thoughd itd wasd goingd onlyd bed temporaryd ,d alsod
Id thoughtd Id couldd justd buyd myd ownd housed itd wasd alld typed ofd feelingsd andd thoughtsd atd thed
time.d Id communicatedd withd everybodyd myd momd ,d myd spoused ,d andd myd sond whod lovesd tod
bed atd myd momd housed ,d andd everybodyd wasd ford thed moved id justd wasn'td readyd atd thed timed
that'sd whatd hasd med revisitingd thed opportunityd atd thisd presentd time.d Howeverd Id feeld Ifd Id
hadn'td letd myd emotionsd getd thed bestd ofd med Id probablyd couldd bed ad smoothd moved andd ad
prosperd futured financiallyd andd Id couldd bed soond tod ad homeowner.d Whend Id maked importantd
decisionsd Id willd usuallyd weighd alld ofd thed options.d Id used emotiond asd ad finald stepd tod comingd
tod somed ofd thed mostd difficultd decisionsd thatd ared prettyd balancedd withd thed prosd andd cons.
Rightd nowd Id amd debatingd whetherd Id shouldd quitd myd currentd jobd andd startd ad betterd payingd
jobd butd Id amd notd guaranteedd tod getd thed position.d Id amd makingd enoughd tod supportd myselfd
andd haved ad littled extrad moneyd ford thed thingsd thatd Id mightd want,d butd Id amd gettingd tiredd ofd
howd myd stored managerd andd thed ownerd wantd thingsd tod bed done.d Thered ared almostd nod
benefitsd withd myd job,d andd thered ared plentyd ofd benefitsd withd thed other.d Thed thingd thatd isd
stayingd myd handd ared thed peopled thatd Id workd with,d Id don'td wantd tod leaved themd behind.
Id knowd whatd thed bestd solutiond is,d butd thed riskd isd veryd high.d Id haved discussedd thisd withd
somed friendsd andd Id haved beend gettingd somed answers,d butd thed responsed isd reallyd evend
betweend them.d Ifd Id removed emotiond fromd thed equation,d Id amd sured thatd Id wouldd haved
appliedd andd startedd atd thed otherd jobd byd now.d Ford thed mostd part,d whend makingd ad decision,d
Id thinkd logicallyd aboutd thed situation.d I'ved onlyd beend influencedd byd emotiond ad coupled ofd
timesd andd thed situationd thatd sticksd outd thed mostd wasd initiallyd and emotionald decisiond butd itd
alsod maded sensed whend Id laterd reassessedd thed situationd withoutd emotiond sod myd decisiond
wouldd notd haved changed.Growingd up,d Id lovedd spendingd timed withd myd dadd andd didn'td
noticed negatived thingsd aboutd him.d Hed remarriedd whend Id wasd 10d yearsd oldd andd hisd newd
wifed wasd deceitful,d manipulative,d andd terribled tod me.d Id rarelyd sawd myd dadd andd whend Id
did,d hisd wifed didn'td letd usd haved ad conversationd alone.d Shed spentd mostd ofd herd timed
gossipingd andd stirringd upd trouble.d Lastd year,d shed toldd myd dadd somethingd untrued aboutd myd
wifed andd thend hed proceededd tod telld hisd wholed sided ofd thed family.d Afterd lettingd myd wifed
knowd whatd wasd said,d shed wasd heartbroken.Shed didn'td understandd whyd anyoned wouldd maked
upd suchd ad thingd outd ofd boredomd (butd Id knewd becaused Id haved beend dealingd withd itd sinced Id
wasd ad kid).d Itd tookd myd wifed monthsd tod heald fromd thed damaged tod herd reputationd thatd myd
step-motherd hadd causedd andd shed onlyd feltd betterd afterd myd step-motherd confessedd itd wasd ad
fabricatedd story.d Myd decisiond wasd tod cutd offd myd dadd (whod Id realizedd isd equallyd asd
deceitfuld andd manipulative)d andd hisd sided ofd thed family.d Sinced thatd decisiond lastd January,d Id
haved feltd ad huged weightd offd ofd myd shoulders.d Id realizedd thatd Id neededd tod shedd thed toxicityd
andd bed aroundd peopled whod wered mentallyd healthyd andd positive.d Luckily,d Id haved ad
beautifuld wife,d twod kids,d myd mom,d andd myd wife'sd sided ofd thed familyd whod ared everythingd
tod me.d Oned exampled thatd Id hadd tod maked whiled emotiond wasd highd wasd almostd threed monthsd
agod befored myd grandmotherd passedd away.d Shed hadd beend ind thed hospitald ford 6d daysd befored
thed doctorsd foundd outd whatd wasd wrongd withd her.d Comed tod findd out,d shed wasd diagnosedd
withd kidneyd cancerd andd didn’td haved tod muchd longerd tod live.d Theyd gaved herd oned week.d Asd
ad persond whod wasd practicallyd raisedd byd thisd beautifuld womand andd spentd alld myd lifed withd
herd andd atd thed aged ofd 16d beingd herd primaryd caretaker,d thered wered somed decisionsd thatd Id
hadd tod maked ind orderd tod prepared ford whatd wasd soond tod come.d Thatd Saturdayd thed doctorsd
camed ind andd toldd usd whatd wasd happening,d butd thatd Sundayd hed toldd usd thatd thered wasd
nothingd elsed thatd couldd bed done.d Sod Id hadd tod maked thed decisionsd ond everythingd thatd
neededd tod bed doned ind orderd tod bed readyd ford whatd wasd coming.d Id hadd tod maked ad decisiond
ond thed hospiced tod sendd herd to,d Id alsod hadd tod maked funerald arrangements,d andd getd alld ofd
thed familyd togetherd tod letd themd knowd thatd soond shed wouldd bed passingd andd whatd all
Id feeld thatd eachd decisiond Id maded wasd reasonabled andd rightd becaused Id knowd thatd thisd isd
whatd myd grandmotherd wanted.d Shed didn’td wantd herd familyd tod dod anythingd bigd ord
extravagant.d Shed wantedd tod maked sured thatd everybodyd wasd takend cared of.d Shed alsod didn’td
wantd herd lifed tod bed extendedd ifd shed wasd goingd tod sufferd ord bed ad vegetabled andd notd bed abled
tod stilld dod thingsd ford herself.d Communicationd didd playd ad bigd role.d Myd grandmotherd andd Id
hadd alwaysd discussedd thesed thingsd especiallyd withind thed lastd fewd monthsd befored shed
passed.d Ifd wed hadd notd doned thatd Id wouldd haved probablyd feltd regretd becaused Id wouldd haved
feltd thatd Id missedd sod muchd timed withd herd andd Id alsod wouldn’td haved knownd whatd tod dod ind
orderd tod getd thingsd doned andd maked sured everyoned gotd whatd shed wantedd themd tod have.d And
exampled ofd whend emotiond influencedd myd decision-makingd wouldd definitelyd bed ind myd
personald relationships.d Id wasd ind ad pastd relationshipd thatd wasd destructived andd unhealthy.d Id
hadd ad lotd ofd feelingsd aboutd whatd thed relationshipd hadd beend befored andd whatd itd wasd now.d
Ultimately,d Id decidedd tod endd thisd relationship.d Id thinkd basedd upond whatd happenedd withind
thed relationshipd ond thed otherd person'sd side,d thed decisiond Id maded wasd reasonable.
Id thinkd thed maind thingd Id consideredd ind myd decisiond wasd myd emotions.d But,d
communicationd playedd ad roled asd welld sinced Id wasd unabled tod communicated effectivelyd ind
orderd tod resolved thed issuesd ind thed relationship.
Ifd Id hadd removedd emotiond fromd myd decisiond makingd Id thinkd Id wouldd haved stayedd ind thed
relationshipd insteadd ofd gettingd outd ofd it.d Id thinkd thisd becaused everyoned makesd mistakes,d sod
Id wouldd haved probablyd leanedd towardsd givingd themd anotherd chance.d However,d Id thinkd thatd
ind thisd cased givingd thisd persond anotherd chanced wouldd haved onlyd givend themd anotherd
chanced tod dod thed samed hurtfuld thingsd again.d Ind casesd ofd personald relationships,d Id thinkd
thatd emotiond playsd ad huged roled ind makingd importantd decisions.d Myd emotionsd helpedd med
tod seed alld pointsd ofd viewd tod thed situationd andd maked ad decisiond thatd wasd bestd ford me.d Thisd
weekd discussiond wasd ond emotiond andd decisiond making,d sod Id decidedd tod getd outd ofd thed
Armyd basedd ond deploymentd ord family.d Id choosed myd familyd firstd becaused Id didn'td wantd myd
famiyd tod worryd anymored aboutd myselfd andd myd son.d Ind lifed sometimesd youd haved tod maked
decisionsd simplyd becaused yourd lifed dependsd ond it.d Id loved andd adored myd familyd butd Id alsod
hadd ad veryd strongd liked ford thed Unitedd Statesd Army.d Ind lifed decisionsd haved tod bed maded ford
thed bestd ord bettermentd ofd one'sd future.d Id choosed tod bed stabled ford myd sond andd itd wasd ad hardd
decisiond mostlyd becaused ofd thed timed Id investedd andd thed manyd daysd thatd Id foughtd tod stayd
ind thed Unitedd Statesd Army,d myd emotionsd haved takend ad majord roled andd sod hasd
communicationd throughd thed entired challenge.d I'md gratefuld thatd Id maded thed choiced tod comed
homed andd tod learnd mored aboutd myd selfd andd thed cultured ofd thed military,d Id willd alwaysd
respectd thed militaryd butd Id choosed tod bed educatedd andd grow.d Thered haved beend situationsd
throughoutd myd professionald lifed ind whichd I’ved allowedd emotiond tod influenced myd criticald
thinking,d nod doubt.d Somed ofd thosed decisionsd turnedd outd tod bed justd fine,d nod reald “deal-
breakers”d ifd youd will.d However,d ad fewd yearsd agod twod ofd myd employeesd wered emotionallyd
chargedd upd overd ad situationd thatd occurredd betweend them,d leadingd tod fairlyd aggressived
behaviord ind frontd ofd ad high-profiled customer.d Oned ind particulard tookd thed morald low-groundd
ind makingd numerousd unprofessionald commentsd ind frontd ofd thisd particulard customer,d
attemptingd tod damaged thed appearanced ofd ourd organization.d Asd ad manager,d Id neededd tod getd
ind frontd ofd thed situationd ofd course,d butd myd approachd should’ved beend calm,d cool,d andd
collected.d d Id should’ved simplyd excusedd myselfd fromd thed tourd Id wasd leading,d andd separatedd
thed disgruntledd employees,d allowingd ford ad cool-downd period.d d Instead,d Id immediatelyd
dismissedd bothd employeesd fromd thed workplaced withoutd digestingd thed wholed situation.d Nod
analyzing,d nod reflection.Id wasd sod embarrassedd ind frontd ofd thisd customerd andd ind shockd ofd
howd unprofessionald thesed tenuredd employeesd wered behaving.d Thesed particulard techniciansd
wered notd onlyd thed mostd seniord amongd thed otherd 18d ind thed shop,d butd extremelyd efficient,d
andd usuallyd exemplifiedd ad greatd attitude.d Id should’ved pulledd bothd employeesd asided (afterd
separatingd each)d andd interviewedd eachd individuallyd ind orderd tod gaind ad clearerd
understandingd ofd thed situation.d d Id allowedd emotionsd tod completelyd cloudd myd judgmentd andd
crippled myd abilityd tod maked ad soundd decision.d d Thed customerd wasd uncomfortable,d andd oned
ofd thed techniciansd nearlyd resignedd overd thed situation.Ind thed end,d nod lastingd damaged
ensued.d Ad learningd momentd ford sure,d andd ad greatd opportunityd ford growthd afterd somed self-
reflection.d Decisiond makingd isd sometimesd ad hardd thingd ford med tod do.d Id amd ad persond thatd
overd thinksd thingsd andd analyzed andd triesd tod seed whatd ared thed prosd ad connsd ofd thingsd befored
makingd myd decision.d Ford example,d tryingd tod god backd tod schoold wasd ad veryd hardd decisiond
tod make.d Id hadd lotsd ofd feard butd mostlyd worriedd thatd Id wouldd notd haved thed timed tod dedicated
tod school.d Feard andd thed worryd ofd dedicationd Id hadd tod applyd almostd maded med notd comed
backd tod finishd whatd Id hadd started.d Id personallyd feeld thatd ifd Id hadd letd thosed feelsd overd comed
myd decisiond making,Id wouldd notd bed hered todayd attendingd class.d Ourd emotionsd sometimesd
taked overd ourd decisiond making,d dependingd ond howd wed wantd ford itd tod god ord ifd wed ared
wellingd tod overd comed ord emotionsd wed willd neverd knowd ifd thed decisiond wed maded wasd thed
correctd one.d Wheneverd Id haved tod maked ad decisiond Id considerd whatd thed possibled outcomed
willd bed befored actuallyd decidingd ond something.d I’md myd personald lifed Id amd ad youngd firstd
timed momd sod ad lotd ofd thed decisionsd Id maked ford myselfd andd myd daughterd ared normallyd
alwaysd drivend myd emotions.d Thed biggestd decisiond I’ved hadd tod maked recentlyd isd ad changed
ind myd career.d Id haved tod traveld ford workd ad lotd andd itd sometimesd causesd med tod bed awayd ford
thed holidays.d Myd emotionsd playedd ad bigd roled ind med choosingd tod stopd workingd ind thed uniond
atd nucleard plantd sd ford ad whiled becaused Id wasd havingd detachmentd issues.d Ultimatelyd Id amd
takingd ad tremendousd payd cutd becaused myd emotionsd won’td allowd med tod bed awayd fromd myd
daughterd ford ad monthd ord longerd atd ad time.d Id communicatedd thesed emotionsd tod myd familyd
thatd helpd lookd afterd myd daughterd andd theird responsed wasd completelyd differentd fromd whatd
initiallyd decidedd tod do.d Id thinkd Id hadd removed dod emotiond fromd myd decisiond makingd Id
wouldd haved maded thed samed decision.d Nod jobd nord amountd ofd moneyd worthd missingd outd ond
thed preciousd momentsd withd family.d Id didd haved tod dod somed criticald thinkingd withd thisd
decisiond becaused thered wasd ad lotd thatd hadd tod bed takend intod considerationd befored makingd
myd finald decision.d Id dod feeld asd thoughd myd decisiond wasd ad reasonabled one.d Ind thisd instanced
Id don’td thinkd thatd myd emotionsd causedd med tod notd thinkd logicallyd ord hadd ad negatived affectd
ond myd decision.d Id feeld asd ifd thisd wholed yeard wasd fulld ofd emotionald decisions.d Somed
workedd outd reallyd well,d andd othersd couldd haved hadd ad betterd resultd ifd emotiond wasd notd ind
thed decision.d Ad decisiond Id haved maded withd emotiond asd thed frontd guyd ond thed lined wasd
movingd backd tod whered Id wasd from,d Wisconsin,d fromd Arizona.d Afterd threed years,d Id foundd
myselfd becomingd veryd homesickd andd upsetd thatd Id wasd missingd outd ond everythingd thatd wasd
happeningd backd home,d butd whiled stilld ind Arizona,d Id wasd enjoyingd life,d workingd ad greatd
job,d makingd goodd money,d playingd softball,d traveling,d hiking,d doingd sod muchd mored thand Id
couldd dod ifd Id wasd stilld ind Wisconsin.
Id startedd fallingd intod thed thoughtd ofd "Id needd tod moved backd home"d ratherd thand thinkingd
whatd Id couldd dod tod compromised withd thed feelingd ofd homesickd andd enjoyingd thed lifed Id hadd
ind Arizona.d Soond Id foundd myselfd flyingd backd homed everyd otherd weekd andd Id quicklyd andd
irrationallyd decidedd tod moved backd home.d Emotiond playedd asd bothd feetd ond thed gasd pedal,d
Id don'td believed thed decisiond Id maded wasd irresponsible,d butd Id didd notd dod ad wholed lotd ofd
thinkingd asd tod whatd Id couldd possiblyd tryd insteadd ofd makingd thed fulld leapd back.d Id believed
ifd Id wouldd haved communicatedd withd thed peopled aroundd med andd myd family,d andd actuallyd
tookd ind whatd theyd saidd ratherd thand practicedd closedd mindedd thinking,d Id wouldd stilld bed ind
Arizona,d visitingd them,d andd thed familyd visitingd me.d Itd isd notd somethingd Id regretd byd anyd
meansd becaused Id haved myd ownd familyd ofd myd fiancéd andd I,d andd ourd newd additiond joiningd
usd aroundd Christmas,d butd Id dod wonderd whered Id wouldd bed ifd Id didd endd upd stayingd downd
there.d Maybed somedayd wed cand startd ourd bookd asd ad familyd downd there.d Thisd isd ad recentd
situationd thatd comesd tod mind.d Myd wholed lifed Id haved beend ad caregiverd tod someone,d fromd
myd littled sister,d myd children,d myd parentsd andd nowd myd uncle.d Id alsod workd ind thed medicald
fieldd withd thed geriatricd population.d Whend itd comesd tod cared givingd it’sd importantd tod maked
goodd decisions.d Id dod myd bestd tod alwaysd dod what’sd bestd ford thed patient.d Id expectd thed samed
whend myd familyd isd thed patientd asd well.d Recentlyd uncled hadd symptomsd ofd ad UTI.d Id hadd
himd seed thed doctor.d Shed hadd thed labd tod checkd hisd urined hadd didd ad urined culture,d whichd
resultedd positive.d Shed startedd himd ond and antibiotic.d Id gaved itd tod himd asd instructed.d Afterd ad
fewd daysd hed becamed veryd hyper,d agitatedd andd wasn’td sleeping.d Id followedd upd withd thed
providerd whod instructedd med tod continued thed antibiotic,d hed wasd experiencingd adversed
effectsd fromd thed antibioticd andd shed assuredd med thatd itd wasd normal.d Byd thed nextd morningd
myd uncled couldd notd dressd himself,d veryd confusedd andd seeingd things.d Thatd changed camed
overd night.d Id hadd tod maked and importantd decisiond atd thatd moment.d Myd emotiond wasd tod dod
whatd wasd bestd ford him,d regardlessd whatd thed providerd recommend.d Id calledd 911d andd hadd
himd takend tod thed hospital.d Whered hed spentd thed nextd 7d weeksd dued tod beingd almostd styptic.d
Thend followedd rehabd ford 3d weeks,d (comesd homed tomorrow)d d Id haved seend alotd ofd UTIs,d
butd neverd oned thatd changedd someoned fromd beingd independentd tod totald cared overd night.d Id
workd ind thed samed officed withd thed Dr.d Shed hasd spentd mostd ofd thed lastd 10d weeksd givingd med
thed silentd treatment.d So,d Id hadd ad decisiond tod make,d whatd isd bestd ford myd uncled ord what'sd
mored comfortabled ford me.d Id chosed myd uncle'sd welld being.d Id haved filedd ad grievanced andd
shed willd nod longerd hisd Dr.d Withind ad fewd daysd ofd arrivingd atd rehab,d hed sufferedd fromd
edemad ind hisd feetd andd legs.d Id inquiredd aboutd hisd cared ord shouldd Id sayd lackd thereof.d Id
communicatedd withd thed nursed andd thed CNAd tod startd with.d Id wouldd god everyd day,d andd theyd
wouldd sayd he’sd goingd tod seed thed Dr,d butd nod Drd everd calledd me.d Afterd thed firstd weekd andd
ad halfd ofd excusesd asd tod whyd hisd feetd wasd stilld swollen,d Id tookd ad differentd route.d Id startedd
askingd otherd questionsd tod seed whatd wasd ind hisd chart.d Id findd thatd hed hasd notd beend seend byd
ad Drd ord ad nurse.d Id haved communicatedd tod thed nursingd staffd sinced thed beginning,d butd nod
oned isd followingd up.d Id returnedd tod thed facilityd afterd thed nightd nursed camed in.d Id inquiredd
againd aboutd ad Drd comingd tod lookd atd him.d Shed saidd thed Drd wasn’td coming.d Id thend
demandedd thatd shed calld thed on-calld providerd andd getd himd overd here.d Thed nursed sawd Id wasd
upset,d shed startedd lookingd ind hisd chartd tod seed whatd shed couldd telld me.d Shed couldd notd findd
anythingd tod telld me.d Shed thend calledd thed Dr,d hed orderedd labsd andd and ultrasound.d Shed camed
tod backd tod hisd roomd tod informd med ofd thed plan.d 10d minsd laterd thed Drd wasd ind thed room.d
Apologizingd ford thed factd hed hadd notd beend seen.d Afterd thed resultsd camed in,d theyd wered alld
good.d Nothingd wasd doned aboutd thed swellingd itselfd tilld thisd week,d afterd Id hadd tod meetd withd
thed administratord andd thed directingd ofd nursingd andd filedd ad grievance.d It’sd amazingd howd
fastd thingsd changed.d d Thisd wasd ad uniqued situation,d myd emotionsd whered alld overd it.d Thered
wered ad lotd ofd decisionsd thatd Id made.d Id dod feeld thatd despited myd emotionsd myd decisionsd
whered reasonabled ones.d
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