Jonathan Collier
Liberty University
Yout 350-B01
Dr. Steve Vandegriff
Book Summary: You Lost Me
Introduction.
I really enjoyed reading David Kinnaman’s book, You Lost Me: Why Young Christians
Are Leaving Church And Rethinking Faith. Kinnaman paints a shockingly vivid picture of why
“Millions of young adults leave active involvement in church [each year] as they exit their teen
years.”1 Kinnaman’s book contains 254 pages of thorough research, statistics, practical insight,
and ideas on how to mitigate this severe problem that the church is facing. While the research in
the book reveals a far more serious issue than what was expected, Kinneman’s research also
shows that hope lies ahead should the church change its approach to how she deals with
millennial’s.
Summary
Kinnaman research from Barna to address what he calls a disciple-making problem.
Kinnaman asserts that the drop out problem the modern church is currently facing, is “at its core,
a faith-development problem; to use religious language, it’s a disciple-making problem.”2 The
sample group for the authors research were millennials aged 18-29. He categorizes them as either
Nomads, Prodigals, or exiles. At its core, Kinnaman’s book describes a systemic discipleship
problem. He says that, specifically, the church is not adequately preparing the next generation to
follow Christ faithfully in a rapidly changing culture.3 The church has done a great job of
activating teens but has dropped the ball when it comes to 18-29 year old’s.
1 David Kinnaman and Aly Hawkins, You Lost Me: Why Young Christians Are
Leaving Church...and Rethinking Faith (Baker Books, 2011) pg 19 .
2 Ibid pg21.
3 Ibid pg 21.
Part two of Kinnaman’s book seeks to identify various disconnections that millennials
feel when it comes to the church. Of all the chapters in this section of the book, Chapters 7-9
discuss some of the major cultural disconnections twentysomethings feel towards the church.
Chapter 7 deals with science and the church. Kinnaman says that “one reason young
Christians feel acutely the antagonism between their religion and science is that there is
animosity on both sides—Western science has often seen itself as an opponent of faith.”4 The
same is true with faith, western faith has often seen itself as an opponent of science. Chapter 8
focuses on the repressive attitude that twentysomethings feel about the church, specifically
sexuality and traditionalism versus individualism. Kinnaman asserts that “young Christians are
torn between two competing narratives- and neither of them is the Christian story of sex.”5
Young Christians feel that the traditionalist view of sex is old fashioned when compared to the
modern individualistic narrative that is popular in our current culture.
Lastly, in Chapter 9, Kinnaman addresses the exclusivity disconnect that the next
generation feels towards the church. “Many in the next generation believe that Christians have an
insider-outsider mentality that is ready to bar the door to those who don’t meet their standards.”6
The inclusivity movement, politics and embracing diversity are all fundamentally important to
the next generation. The author reckons that if the church is to overcome the drop off of
millennials then “whether or not we like this fact, we must grapple with these generational
realities and make sense of them if we are to relate well for the sake of the gospel.”7
Part three of Kinnaman’s book deals with reconnecting millennials with the church. He
offers practical insight into answering the question of how to pass on faith and equip the next
4 Ibid pg
135. 5 Ibid
pg 157. 6
Ibid pg 171.
7 Ibid pg
171.
generation to follow Jesus whole heartedly in our current climate. Chapter 12 Is full of ideas to
reconnect millennials to the church, 50 to be exact. Of all the points, I believe point 5 drives the
point of discipleship in interesting times home. The author suggests that discipleship needs to be
looked at as hand crafted and not mass produced. He says that “God is a hand-crafter, not a mass-
producer. And now it is your turn.”8
Personal Response
I am 34 and can identify with just about every finding that was presented in Kinnamans
book. From about 18-26 I felt largely disconnected from the church and my faith - so I stagnated.
I believe that the church has placed such an emphasis on salvation culture that we have lost sight
of gospel culture. We can’t expect twentysomethings to engage their faith if we don’t seek to
meet them where they are and help them process everything the world throws their way. I would
agree that in many ways the church has fallen behind the times with regards to how the church
engages people. There is a way to present Gods message of hope so that it ruminates with
millennials, the church just needs to change its approach and become more proactive rather than
reactive.
Conclusion.
This book really made me think and assess how I engage in disciple making. I believe
millennials are the most fertile soil in the mission field today and Kinneman’s research proved
that. While he paints a bleak picture, he also shows through is research that there is hope for
change and offers insight into how the church can begin making right steps. Proverbs 22:6 says
that if we train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.
8 Ibid pg 216.
References
Kinnaman, David, and Aly Hawkins. You Lost Me: Why Young Christians Are Leaving
Church...and Rethinking Faith. Baker Books, 2011.
ESV Study Bible. Wheaton, Illinois 60187: Crossway, 2017.
God always provides a way, the church, just needs to be obedient to it and remain diligent in
equipping the next generation to go and make disciples (Matt 28:19)9 that make disciples.
9 All scriptural references are taken from the ESV translation of the Holy Bible.
