Comment on and describe one emotionally-charged subject that either your family or someone
you know argued over. (No citation is needed.)
Comment on what you remember most about your adolescence, whether it be physically,
intellectually, emotionally, socially, or spiritually. (No citation is needed.)
I married the daughter of a very conservative Baptist pastor. Throughout the years we have had
many emotionally charged debates and disagreements. The most recent has when a good
friend
of my wife from her college years, who was a pastor, husband and father, choose to end his life
though suicide. When I shared this information with my father-in-law, he told me matter of fact
that my friend must not have been saved because a believer would not take his own life. I was
so surprised that a pastor of more than 30 years would be so callus to the reality of depression
and suicide. I respect my Father-in-law and I normally seek peace, but I was so blown away that
our friend’s depression and suicide was viewed as a mortal sin by my father-in-law.
I come from a traditional family and I am the oldest of four children. My parents were married
young and had me soon after they were married. My parents bought a little farmhouse in the
country about two hours from Lynchburg and began to raise their family. I remember a time
when I was nine years old and we had just welcomed my youngest sister to the family. My
father left to go on a mission trip to Mexico and we experienced the largest blizzard on record.
We lost power for more than ten days and I was responsible for gathering firewood and helping
my mom with the younger children. I view this nearly two-week period as pivotal in my
childhood formation.
I come from a blended family (yours, mine, and ours, when it came to kids). So, there were
adjustments with new brothers, one sister, and a new Dad. My family grew from three to seven
to nine. One of those adjustments was knowing what to bring up and what to bring up. Dad was
opinioned and some topics were non-negotiable. One of those topics, however minor, was hair
length. So, growing up, it was short “buzz-cuts.” While we brothers thought it was a preference,
it was probably motivated by saving money. Even when we made our money to get a real
haircut, we were not permitted. So, this minor topic became an unnecessary hindrance to
communication in our family.
I just recently had my sister visit us. As we look back on our childhood, we both agree that our
childhood was not an easy one. The size of our family, living on my step-Dad’s assistant pastor’s
wage, and dealing with relentless, combative sibling rivalry (first-borns, whether male or
female,
tend to posture themselves to establish an unwritten pecking order, which can become
violent),
this did not make growing up any easier. Add to that moving, almost annually (twelve different
schools by the time I graduated from high school) to go to another church, didn’t help. So, in
spite of these struggles, my sister and I have had long-tenured vocational ministries, and I am
grateful to God for where he has brought my family and has sustained us along the way.
