Kevin Sherrod II
Kiera Smith
WRIT 201
12/5/2022
Self-Loathing Sonnet
My skinny boy, you inspire me to write,
I hate the way you puke, starve, and run.
Pervading my mind day and through the night,
Your voice made of no one.
Let me compare you to a sanctuary?
You are more ugly, hideous, and plain.
Frost bites the debris of February,
And birthday has the offense sprain.
I hate to hear ye speak, this I know,
I hate your arms, legs, and your mind a bore.
Thinking of your anxious is the ominous crow,
Be gone, flee, return to thee nevermore.
Now I must away with a hazy heart,
Remember my light words whilst we depart.
Sherrod 1
Well, in the first stanza I changed the word “invading” to “pervading” because while the
two words are close and often are cited as synonyms, I believe invading connotates to move in
Last Name 2
and infringe, but pervading means to be in every part of and encompass. I wanted to convey the
heaviness of being in the mind and the ability to take it over.
I changed “ice bites” to “frost bites” because frost bites and not ice. In other words,
frostbite is freezing damage and injury, and thus it made more sense for the following line of
“offense sprain.”
Lastly, the third stanza contained the most reworking of the poem. I enjoy the readings of
Edgar Allan Poe, and he was known to have suffered from depression and anxiety like myself.
Also, was thin. So he fit with the poem and my self-outlook. To pay homage to him, I used “
ominous crow” and “nevermore” in describing anxiety and wanting to not be seen by society
ever again and society not wanting to see me. Furthermore, I also decided to use “bore” as my
rhyming word for “nevermore” because I was thinking of a black crow which led me to thinking
of a black hole, or a bore. Black holes are dense regions where nothing escapes, not even light.
Physicists struggle to make sense of and understand them. This is akin to how I feel about my
mind. A black hole where nothing escapes and therapist/psychologist/psychiatrist struggle to
help.
Overall, these changes aide in the self-loathing nature of the poem and the dismal tone.
