Postmodern Beliefs and Technology are Destroying the Marriage Instituted by God
Sara Ramirez
THEO 330: Theology of the Family
July 6, 2018
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In the beginning God created man and animals, God told the man to name the animals,
and he did, but God noticed that there was something that man needed because he was lonely,
and he needed help, but none of all the animals could fit as a good companion and help for the
man. So, God created woman from the man’s ribs. When god presented the woman to the man,
the man said, “this is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’
she was taken out of man.” 1 “Then God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful and
multiply; fill the earth and subdue it...” 2 This is how God instituted marriage with the purpose of
companionship and help.
Marriage is important and necessary because since the beginning God knew that it was
not good for man to be alone. Marriage is a wonderful God-given gift for man and woman where
they should cultivate the most beautiful relationship on earth. A relationship of love, respect,
commitment, support, and deep intimacy. Marriage is the nucleus of the family. Family depends
on marriage, and if marriage is destroyed then family will be destroyed as well. According to
Stinson and Jones (2011), “marriage and the family is a divine gift, and is one of the three basics
institutions ordained by God...” 3 However; many things have changed through the years,
technology has increased, and humans have changed the way they interact with each other to suit
the modern world. In this new era marriage is no longer considered necessary therefore, the
value of marriage has been lost. According to the American Psychological Association, “about 40
1. Gen. 2: 21-23 (New International Version)
2. Gen. 1: 28
3. Randy Stinson and Paul Timothy, “Trained in the Fear of God,” (Michigan: kregel publisher,
2011), 129.
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to 50 percent of married couples in the United States divorce.” 4 This paper examines how
technology and postmodern beliefs are destroying marriages, and why this is not consistent with
the Biblical worldview. Some of the strongest postmodern beliefs that are affecting marriages
include: cohabitation, feminism, and same sex marriages. Factors brought by technology that are
also affecting marriages include: The excessive use of cellphone, social media, and pornography.
Cohabitation is very common today because cohabitation is seen as less compromising
than marriage and less traumatic to terminate than divorce. The question is no longer, “will you
marry me,” now the question is, “will you move in with me.” Many couples consider
cohabitation before marriage as a try out, and if it does not work for them they just move from
one partner to the next until they find “the right match” for them. According to Anderson (2014),
“The number of couples who choose to cohabit rather than marry has increased dramatically,
with 4.9 million cohabiting couples in 2002, versus just 500,000 in 1970.” 5
However, terminating a cohabitation is not that simple because as a divorce it brings
many complications for the couples and the children. “cohabitation has become a central part of
the family landscape in the United States—so much so that by age 12, 40 percent of American
children will have spent at least part of their lives in a cohabiting household” 6 (Manning, 2015).
4. “Marriage & Divorce,” American Psychological Association, accessed June 1, 2018
http://www.apa.org/topic/divorce
5. Jane Anderson, “The Impact of family Structure on the Health of Children: Effects of
Divorce.” The Linacre Quarterly., 81 no. 4 (December 2014) 318-387. PMC Web.
http://doi.org.ezproxy.liberty.edu/10.1179/0024363914Z.00000000087 (accessed July 6, 2018).
6. Wendy D. Manning. "Cohabitation and Child Wellbeing." The Future of Children 25,
no. 2 (2015): 51-66. https://muse.jhu.edu/ (accessed July 6, 2018).
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Cohabitation puts at risk the children’s wellbeing because there is no family stability and lack of
commitment from both parents. According to Manning 2015, “Cohabiting families are more
likely than married families to be poor, and poverty harms children in many ways.” 7 Children of
cohabiting parents go through family realignments or end up living with one parent only. This
can have long-term consequences that can affect children in many ways as mentioned by
Anderson 2014, “Despite these differences, divorce has been shown to diminish a child's future
competence in all areas of life, including family relationships, education, emotional well-being,
and future earning power” 8 When cohabitating parents separate, they also go through difficulties
because most of the time women have to raise the children as single mothers and many fall in a
cycle of failed relationships, and men end up lonely according to Anderson (2014).9
Cohabitation goes against the will of God because sex between a man and a woman who
are not married is consider unlawful according to Matthew 19:5. The man is allowed to leave his
parents’ house to go live with a woman only when he is married to her.10 Fornication is a sexual
sin; therefore, couples who are not married and live together are committing a sexual sin. God
constituted marriage and within a marriage sex is not consider a sin. Hebrews 13: 4 states that
7. Manning, “Cohabitation and Child wellbeing,” 51.
8. Anderson, “The Impact of Family Structure on the Health of Children.”
9. Anderson, “The Impact of Family Structure on the Health of Children.”
10. Matt. 19: 5 (NIV)
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marriage should be honorable: “Marriage should be honor by all, and the marriage should be
kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.” 11
In like manner as cohabitation, modern day feminism is also contributing to more
divorces in the US. The feminism movement began as a battle for social rights, equal political
rights, and economic and personal independence.12 However, this movement has been pushing
boundaries and now their battle is directly attacking what God has established. Today’s feminism
is more about interests than rights. They are now advocators for equality between man and
woman, liberalism, gender equality, and abortion. In her article, Venker, (2017) brings out three
beliefs promoted by modern day feminists. “First, feminists are imprisoned by their negative
view of woman and their place in the world around them.” “Second, feminist believe marriage
and motherhood are oppressive.” “Third, feminists believe there are no difference between males
and females...” 13
However, these beliefs are not congruent with God’s ideals. Woman was created unique
with special characteristics and abilities given by God that man does not have. Also, marriage
11. Heb. 13: 4 (NIV).
12. History, Art, and Archives. “The Women’s Right Movement, 1848-1920.” Washington DC.
Government Printing Office 2007. Accessed July 4, 2018. http://history.house.gov/Exhibitions-
and-Publications/WIC/Historical-Essays/No-Lady/Womens-Rights/
13. Suzanne Venker, “Feminist Want Women to be Liberated from Men, Marriage, and Children
No Wonder They Never Use the Word” Fox News, December 15, 2017.
http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2017/12/15/feminists-want-women-to-be-liberated-from-men-
marriage-and-children-no-wonder-never-use-word.html
5
was instituted by God because he knows what is best for us, and woman in a marriage hold a
unique and especial role as stewardship of her house and children, and the help-meet for her
husband according to Proverbs 31. In Galatians 3: 28, the Bible promotes equality among man
and woman. Equality of respect and admiration for being a wonderful creature also made to the
image of God; however, women were created different than men to fulfil their especial roles.
Man should be above woman as a protector, provider, and loving husband. In conclusion, man
and woman were meant to depend on each other using each other’s talents and characteristics to
fulfill what God has ordained. Feminist are also strong advocators for same sex marriages
another trend of this new era that is strongly contributing to the rise of divorces and the
destabilization of the marriage instituted by God.
Same sex marriage is the new trend in today’s society. It has become very normal to see or hear
news about weddings between two men or between two women, or the demonstrations of love
between same sex couples in public places. Same sex marriage is a very controversial topic that
has brought to the supreme court the request of equal rights and law protection. For example, on
June 26, 2015 the Supreme Court ruled that states cannot ban same-sex marriages.14 This
decision was the beginning of many more legal battles against and in favor of same sex marriage.
However, same sex marriage is against the nature of man and woman because male and
female were created to fit specific roles that two men or two women living as couples cannot
fulfill. Same sex marriages distort the structure of the family. According to Hawkins and Carroll,
(2015) “Marriage has been an important way that adult men establish their masculinity in a way
that benefits women, children, communities, and society. A de-gendered conception of marriage
14. Michelle Gorman, “Gay Marriage is legal in all 50 States: Supreme Court.” News
Week. June 26, 2015. Accessed July 4, 2018 http://www.newsweek.com/supreme-court-gay-
marriage-legal-all-50-states-347204
6
likely weakens the institution's power to channel men's generative masculinity in child- and
family-centered ways.” 15 The promotion and support of same sex marriages endangers the
institution of marriage between a man and a woman because then heterosexual marriages will be
seen as unnecessary. “Marriage, in other words, will simply be less relevant to men and, thus,
less attractive to them. In an already highly individualistic culture such as ours, men will be more
likely to seek to establish their adult identities through other means, such as career and financial
success, personal pursuits, leisure activities, and non-marital sexual relationships.” (Hawkins and
Carrol, 2015). 16
In Matthew 19: 4-6, Jesus define marriage as a union between a man and a woman,
“Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’ and
said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the
two shall become one flesh’? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh...” 17(NKJV).
Therefore, same sex marriage constitutes sexual immorality and disobedience to God’s
commands. Along with all these postmodern beliefs, modern technology has come playing an
important role in this new era and in our life affecting us in positive and negative ways.
15. Alan J. Hawkins, and Jason S. Carroll. "Beyond the expansion framework: how same-sex
marriage changes the institutional meaning of marriage and heterosexual men's conception of
marriage." Ave Maria Law Review 13, no. 2 (2015): 219+. Academic OneFile (accessed July 7,
2018). http://link.galegroup.com.ezproxy.liberty.edu/apps/doc/A428752135/AONE?
u=vic_liberty&sid=AONE&xid=d1527ced.
16. Ibid.
17. Matt. 19: 4-6 New King James Version
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Technology has made our life more efficient and it has changed communication and the
way we interact with others because it has brought communication advances like cell phones and
social media, but it has also facilitated the access to pornography. The problem is that the way
people use technology also contributes to the rise of marital problems and divorce. In their
research, Nonpong and Chroensukmongkol (2016) discovered that, “individuals who perceived
that their partners used social media excessively tended to report a higher perception of lack of
caring, loneliness, and jealousy.” 18 Also, another research by the Pew Research Center about
couples, the internet, and social media shows a similar issue, “25% of cell phone owners in a
marriage or partnership have felt their spouse or partner was distracted by their cell phone when
they were together.” (2014) 19 In another article by CNBC Rosenfeld (2014) mentioned
intriguing results about the consequences of social media use and marriages, “20 percent annual
increase in Facebook enrollment was associated with anywhere from a 2.18 percent to a 4.32
percent increase in divorce rates depending on the model used.” 20
18. Santika Nonponge and Pecrayuth Chroensukmongkol. “I Don’t Care Much as Longas I am
on Facebook.” The Family Journal 24, 4 (August 8, 2016). Accessed July 4, 2018
http://journals.sagepub.com.ezproxy.liberty.edu/doi/full/10.1177/1066480716663199#articleCitat
ionDownloadContainer
19. Amanda Lenhart and Maeve Duggan, “Couples, the Internet and Social media: How the
American Couples Use Digital Technology to Manage Life, Logistics, and Emotional Intimacy
Within Their Relationship” Pew Research Center. (February 2014) Accessed July 4, 2018
http://www.pewinternet.org/2014/02/11/couples-the-internet-and-social-media/
20. Everett Rosenfeld, “Social Networking Linked to Divorce, Marital Unhappiness.
CNBC. (July 2014) Accessed on July 4, 2018 https://www.cnbc.com/2014/07/08/social-
networking-linked-to-divorce-marital-unhappiness.html
8
Technology has also facilitated the access to pornography, this is a big issue that can have
a major impact on a marriage. Doran and price (2014), “found that adults who had watched an
X-rated movie in the past year were more likely to be divorced, more likely to have had an
extramarital affair, and less likely to report being happy with their marriage or happy overall.”
Pornography is like a door to immorality, and once a person opens this door it is hard to close it
because pornography can become addictive and destructive. In conclusion, technology can be
very good or very bad it depends in us how we use it.
In Romans 12:2 the Bible tell us, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world but be
transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s
will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” 21 As Christians we are no longer ruled by sin, and
our worldview should be based on the Word of God. James 4: 4 states, “Therefore, anyone who
chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God.” 22 We must stand firm in what
we have believe, and not let these worldly ideologies take us away from what God has instituted.
Marriage is important because it is the foundation of the family, and it is for families that other
institutions have also been founded like government and church. The relationship of marriage
between a man and a woman was design by God, but the devil is always against the things
ordained by God for this reason he is trying to distort and destroy the original marriage between
a man and a woman. Therefore, no matter how many generations pass, marriage should remain
as God stablished it.
21. Rom. 12: 2 (NIV)
22. Jam. 4:4 (NIV)
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Bibliography
Hawkins, Alan J., and Carroll, Jason S. "Beyond the Expansion Framework: How Same-Sex
Marriage Changes the Institutional Meaning of Marriage and Heterosexual Men's
Conception of Marriage." Ave Maria Law Review 13, no. 2 (2015): 219+. Academic
OneFile (accessed July 7, 2018)
http://link.galegroup.com.ezproxy.liberty.edu/apps/doc/A428752135/AONE?
u=vic_liberty&sid=AONE&xid=d1527ced
Lenhart, Amanda., and Duggan, Maeve. “Couples, the Internet and Social media: How the
American Couples Use Digital Technology to Manage Life, Logistics, and Emotional
Intimacy Within Their Relationship” Pew Research Center. (February 2014) Accessed
July 4, 2018 http://www.pewinternet.org/2014/02/11/couples-the-internet-and-social-
media/
Rosenfeld, Everett. “Social Networking Linked to Divorce, Marital Unhappiness. CNBC. (July
2014) Accessed on July 4, 2018 https://www.cnbc.com/2014/07/08/social-networking-
linked-to-divorce-marital-unhappiness.html
10
Stinson, Randy., and Timothy, Paul. Trained in the Fear of God. (Michigan: kregel publisher,
2011), 129.
History, Art, and Archives. “The Women’s Right Movement, 1848-1920.” Washington DC.
Government Printing Office 2007. Accessed July 4, 2018.
http://history.house.gov/Exhibitions-and-Publications/WIC/Historical-Essays/No-
Lady/Womens-Rights/
Anderson, Jane. “The Impact of Family Structure on the Health of Children: Effects of Divorce.”
The Linacre Quarterly., 81 no, 4 (December): 318-387, (2014).
http://doi.org.ezproxy.liberty.edu/10.1179/0024363914Z.00000000087 (accessed July 6,
2018).
“Marriage & Divorce,” American Psychological Association, accessed June 1, 2018
http://www.apa.org/topic/divorce
Gorman, Michelle. “Gay Marriage is legal in All 50 States: Supreme Court.” News Week. June
26, 2015. Accessed July 4, 2018 http://www.newsweek.com/supreme-court-gay-
marriage-legal-all-50-states-347204
Nonponge, Santika., and Chroensukmongkol, Pecrayuth. “I Don’t Care Much as Long as I am on
Facebook.” The Family Journal 24, 4 (August 8, 2016). Accessed July 4, 2018
http://journals.sagepub.com.ezproxy.liberty.edu/doi/full/10.1177/1066480716663199#arti
cleCitationDownloadContainer
Venker, Suzanne. “Feminist Want Women to be Liberated from Men, Marriage, and Children
No Wonder They Never Use the Word” Fox News, December 15, 2017.
http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2017/12/15/feminists-want-women-to-be-liberated-
from-men-marriage-and-children-no-wonder-never-use-word.html
Manning, Wendy D. "Cohabitation and Child Wellbeing." The Future of Children 25, no. 2
(2015): 51-66. https://muse.jhu.edu/ (accessed July 6, 2018).
.
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