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Marriage in Contemporary US life
Tori McIntyre-Stahlmann
RLGN 301 Research and Writing for Religious Disciplines (B07)
February 2024
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The Bible, as it is known it, gives no blatant definition of marriage, even though it is
mentioned repeatedly, this is because the Bible is not univocal. The authors are writing to
different audiences at various times for different reasons, but even then, it can be deduced what
the social and contractual consensus of marriage is as logically understood and given through
the authors by YHWH. When looking at the authors in the Bible, there are often varied reasons
given for marriage. Starting at the beginning of Genesis, YHWH explains, through Moses, the
reasoning for the creation of Eve. Exploring further into the works of Mark and Ephesians, these
authors elaborate that marriage is a social and economic contract between the families and God
alone. Churches have been at the forefront of not just bringing people to Christ and God but
performing marriage covenants. Churches have also been at the head of several battles for
change and justice for centuries. Recent changes include everything from leading the charge for
desegregation, allowing interracial marriage, and allowing women to hold positions in the
church. These advancements came even when they did not fit societal or legal standings. It
appears though, that some churches and denominations have largely stalled in their desire to be
all inclusive and giving unbridled access to God. They have placed identity politics through
dogmatic interpretations of prioritized biblical passages into marriage instead of seeing the true
reasons given by YHWH, and allowing Him to be the true Father. These entities consistently
have given the same reasons for refusing to accept same-sex marriage. These justifications for
the denial of same-sex marriage often include the concepts that these unions violate the
sanctity of marriage and are a disregard of the blessing of YHWH to procreate. These reasons,
specifically, can be invalidated when looking at some of the many teachings of Jesus and
statistics on heterosexual couples infertility in the United States. Those churches that deny
samesex
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marriages are limiting their available pool of worshipers and roadblocking access to the House
of God and all it has to offer for members of the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT)
community. These churches have ostracized many potential parishioners by refusing to further
adapt as it has done in the past to changing societal norms. They have placed their own dogma
ahead of what Jesus has taught, Mark 10:6-9 (NRSV),“What God has joined together, let no
man separate.” (NRSV)12 For Christianity to continue to grow and be inclusive, it must adapt its
definition of marriage to include same-sex couples.
Even with all the birds of the sky, fish of the sea and animals of the land, YHWH had the
concern that Adam would still be lonely and would need a partner of equal value in his life.
Therefore, Eve, the woman, was created, Gen. 2:18(NRSV), “Then the Lord God said, ‘It is not
good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper as his partner.’” (NRSV). This is the
first inclination of the concept of marriage given in the Bible. YHWH had created the man and
women and designed them to be partners in life. Looking into Proverbs, it is noted that a good
wife can turn her husband into a proverbial king, Proverbs 12:4 “A good wife is the crown to her
husband…” (NRSV). YHWH had created this partnership that would lift up both participants to
make them better than they were as a single person. Looking further, into the writings, the
authors are able to elaborate more on what this covenant is designed to be. The writings teach
that these covenants are not only predestined by YHWH but designed to help further serve Him.
1 All biblical passages noted will be in the New Oxford Annotated Bible
New Revised Standard Edition (NRSV).
2 All biblical passages noted will be in the New Oxford Annotated Bible
New Revised Standard Edition (NRSV)
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This notion that it is predestined can be seen in teachings of Jesus as relayed in Mark
10:69(NRSV) “But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.
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For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two
shall become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has
joined together, let no one separate.’””(NRSV) This is not only confirmed but also reiterated in
the Book of Matthew 19:6(NRSV), “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what
God has joined together, let no one separate.” (NRSV). In Gen. 1:28(NRSV) “God Blessed them,
and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply…” (NRSV). He obviously wanted the people to
procreate and spread across the earth. If any question as to the plan that YHWH had for why
the bringing together of two people were left, it is made apparent in Ephesians 5:21-33, where
it is elaborated that the union is designed not only to further each person in their service to
God but that the couple shall lift up each other. They are also to treat the covenant to each
other as they would treat a covenant made to God, and love each other as Christ loves the
church. For centuries many church practices, including marriage, had remained stagnant, and
needing no change. Even with many that are the same as they have been for hundreds of years,
there are just as many that have changed in very recent years. One of those changes happened
when a small church in Mississippi accidentally pushed to the front of the civil rights
movement. For centuries in the United States, segregation was not only widespread practice
but was protected by secular laws, these laws even applied inside the church’s walls. This
prevented white and black parishioners from worshipping together. Black Christians were
required to either maintain their own churches, or they had specific times or seats they could
only use in established churches. The Presbyterian Church in the U.S.A. group pushed through
this wall in 1954 just after the courts ruled on the landmark ruling for Brown vs. the Board of
9 Purity Njagi, Wim Groot, Jelena Arsenijevic, Silke Dyer, Gitau Mburu, James Kiarie, Financial costs of assisted
reproductive technology for patients in low- and middle-income countries: a systematic review, Human
Reproduction Open, Volume 2023, Issue 2, 2023.
10 GoldBerg, Shoshana and Kerith Conran. 2018. Review of “How Many Same-Sex Couples in the U.S. Are Raising
Children.
11 Avery, Dan. “Nearly Half of LGBTQ Adults are Religious, U.S. Study Finds”. NBC NEWS, November 29, 2020.
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Education, saying that “enforced segregation of the races is discrimination which is out of
harmony with Christian theology and
ethics.”32
This all happened regardless of them being publicly shamed by the Governor of Arkansas, he
and even other congregations compared the church to communists.42 They were degraded and
verbally abused regularly. Another change that took place around this time was churches
allowing interracial marriages, these were also illegal at the time. In his book, C. Herbert Oliver
states, “It is not the right of one individual to decide whom another individual may marry.
While parents should assist their children and do all in their power to train them to make a
wise choice of a life partner, they violate their duty to God and to their children when they
seek to perpetuate racial prejudice by teaching their children not to marry outside their own
“race.””53 Another avenue of change for some of these churches began in 1952, when the first
woman was officially ordained in the United States. Antoinette Louisa Brown Blackwell, was
ordained as a Protestant minister, she was offered the position of Minister of a
Congregationalist church in South Butler, New York. This making her the first recognized female
minister in the United States64. Churches pushed both desegregation and moving women into
3 “A Non-Segregated Church in a Non-Segregated Society”: Presbyterians and the Civil Rights
Movement.”25
4 Oliver, C. Herbert. No Flesh Shall Glory: How the Bible Destroys the Foundations of Racism, Also
Includes the Church and Social Change. Phillipsburg, NJ: P & R Publishing, 2021.57
5 Dictionary of Early American Philosophers. “BLACKWELL, Antoinette Louisa Brown,” Accessed Feb. 19,
2024.
6 Frimer, Jeremy A., Caitlin E. Tell, and Matt Motyl. 2016. “Sacralizing Liberals and Fair-Minded
Conservatives: Ideological Symmetry in the Moral Motives in the Culture War.”
9 Purity Njagi, Wim Groot, Jelena Arsenijevic, Silke Dyer, Gitau Mburu, James Kiarie, Financial costs of assisted
reproductive technology for patients in low- and middle-income countries: a systematic review, Human
Reproduction Open, Volume 2023, Issue 2, 2023.
10 GoldBerg, Shoshana and Kerith Conran. 2018. Review of “How Many Same-Sex Couples in the U.S. Are Raising
Children.
11 Avery, Dan. “Nearly Half of LGBTQ Adults are Religious, U.S. Study Finds”. NBC NEWS, November 29, 2020.
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positions of power in the church before women could even legally get their own credit cards
and before segregation became officially illegal.
When the discussion of church change arises, the topic of same-sex marriage often
pops up quickly, the opinions can often be so far apart they are Grand Canyon in scale. A study
published in the Analyses of Social Issue and Public Policy, concluded, “To conservatives,
traditional marriage is sacrosanct, and ought not be altered. As a result, they denounce same-
sex
marriage as a desecration”.75 The study also enforced the conservative concept of same-sex
marriage as it would “dishonor tradition.”86 These concepts of tradition and sanctity are easily
dismissed when looking at the evolution of tradition. As mentioned before, the church has
proven time and again that it will evolve, to spread the Word of God. When looking at the
theological concept of sanctity, that is strictly a reference to service to God. The often-seen
conservative fallacy that homosexuals cannot serve God has no evidentiary basis and is
rhetorical prophylaxis. It is repeated knowledge throughout Christianity that it is Gods job
alone to be the final judgement of the people. In a 2020 poll of 16,000 LGBTQ persons, 47%
claimed moderate to highly religious.97 This shows clearly, that there are members of the LGBT
community who love Jesus and wish to be of service to God, despite the conservative rhetoric.
7 Frimer, Jeremy A., Caitlin E. Tell, and Matt Motyl.“Sacralizing Liberals and…
8 Benne, Robert, and Gerald McDermott. “Thirteen Bad Arguments for Same-Sex Marriage.” Christianity
today. 48, no. 9 (2004).
9 Avery, Dan. Review of “Nearly Half of LGBTQ Adults are Religious, U.S. Study Finds”. NBC NEWS,
November 29, 2020. Accessed Feb. 20, 2024.
9 Purity Njagi, Wim Groot, Jelena Arsenijevic, Silke Dyer, Gitau Mburu, James Kiarie, Financial costs of assisted
reproductive technology for patients in low- and middle-income countries: a systematic review, Human
Reproduction Open, Volume 2023, Issue 2, 2023.
10 GoldBerg, Shoshana and Kerith Conran. 2018. Review of “How Many Same-Sex Couples in the U.S. Are Raising
Children.
11 Avery, Dan. “Nearly Half of LGBTQ Adults are Religious, U.S. Study Finds”. NBC NEWS, November 29, 2020.
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The other often seen argument against same-sex marriage comes from the blessing of YHWH
in Genesis 1:28(NRSV), “God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply,
and fill the earth and subdue it…””(NRSV) This argument is solely based on the ability or
inability of a same sex couple to procreate without intervention. Christianity Today published
an article in
9 Purity Njagi, Wim Groot, Jelena Arsenijevic, Silke Dyer, Gitau Mburu, James Kiarie, Financial costs of assisted
reproductive technology for patients in low- and middle-income countries: a systematic review, Human
Reproduction Open, Volume 2023, Issue 2, 2023.
10 GoldBerg, Shoshana and Kerith Conran. 2018. Review of “How Many Same-Sex Couples in the U.S. Are Raising
Children.
11 Avery, Dan. “Nearly Half of LGBTQ Adults are Religious, U.S. Study Finds”. NBC NEWS, November 29, 2020.
7
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2004 that specifies the conservative link between marriage and procreation stating, “The fact
remains that most married couples either have had or will have children. The exceptions prove
the rule: Being married tends to prevent a person from having a child with someone other than
his or her spouse. In all cultures, even if some couples are childless, marriage as an institution is
principally concerned with children and, therefore, society's future.”108 The data available
contradicts this notion. According to a 2023 publication of Human Reproduction Open,
“The prevalence of infertility among reproductive-aged couples ranges between 12.6% and
17.5% worldwide.”119 This argument is a slap in the face to the large number of heterosexual
couples who are unable to conceive their own children or need extensive medical intervention.
Are these couples less able to serve God because they are not naturally blessed by Him with
offspring? This infertility can often into the concept of adoption. These infertile heterosexual
couples are only adopting at a rate of about 3%, while same-sex couples are adopting at a rate
of 21.4%. This adoption rate is high, when considering that same-sex couples only make up
about 1% of the population.1210
For Christianity to continue to grow and be inclusive, it must adapt its definition of
marriage to include same-sex couples. Kerith Conran told NBC NEWS, “My hypothesis is that
10 Benne, Robert, and Gerald McDermott. 2004. “Thirteen Bad Arguments for Same Sex Marriage”.
Edited by Russel Moore. Christianity Today , September (September), 51.
11 Purity Njagi, Wim Groot, Jelena Arsenijevic, Silke Dyer, Gitau
Mburu, James Kiarie, Financial costs of assisted reproductive technology
for patients in low- and middle-income countries: a systematic review,
Human Reproduction Open, Volume 2023, Issue 2, 2023.
12 GoldBerg, Shoshana and Kerith Conran. 2018. Review of “How Many Same-Sex Couples in the U.S. Are
Raising Children.
9 Purity Njagi, Wim Groot, Jelena Arsenijevic, Silke Dyer, Gitau Mburu, James Kiarie, Financial costs of assisted
reproductive technology for patients in low- and middle-income countries: a systematic review, Human
Reproduction Open, Volume 2023, Issue 2, 2023.
10 GoldBerg, Shoshana and Kerith Conran. 2018. Review of “How Many Same-Sex Couples in the U.S. Are Raising
Children.
11 Avery, Dan. “Nearly Half of LGBTQ Adults are Religious, U.S. Study Finds”. NBC NEWS, November 29, 2020.
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fewer and fewer people in young adulthood are choosing religion. It’s a pattern we see in
nonLGBT people, as well. People are consciously deciding to step away from the religion of
their youth because it doesn’t embrace their values. Even straight Americans have cited their
church’s
treatment of the gay community as part of the reason they’ve left.”1311 This was in reference to
the research they published that concluded, “Religion is important to many LGBT people.
Religious LGBT adults, including those who are moderately or highly religious, are
sociodemographically diverse, reside in every region and state, and are represented across all
religious denominations.” 14
How can a group that makes only about 1% of the population cause
so much controversy.? Members of the LGBT community have proven they are eager to create
covenants not only with each other but with God. They often desire to bring unwanted
children into their homes at a higher rate than heterosexual families. They have also shown
that many of those homes are filled with people who want to be involved in congregations,
take in and spread the love of God. While many churches across the United States have proven
they desire to adapt to the ever-changing societal norms we often value in the United States,,
there are still aspects of modern society that are being coveted by those who are
prioritizing Bible passages in a way that is excluding a population that desires to be included,
this exclusion revolves around love and by default, marriage. The exclusion, shown by some
churches against same-sex couples, deeply violates the data available and is a detriment to the
13 Avery, Dan. “Nearly Half of LGBTQ Adults are Religious, U.S. Study Finds”.
14 GoldBerg, Shoshana and Kerith Conran. 2018. “Religiosity Among LGBT Adults in the US” Los Angeles,
CA: The Williams Institute, UCLA School of Law.
9 Purity Njagi, Wim Groot, Jelena Arsenijevic, Silke Dyer, Gitau Mburu, James Kiarie, Financial costs of assisted
reproductive technology for patients in low- and middle-income countries: a systematic review, Human
Reproduction Open, Volume 2023, Issue 2, 2023.
10 GoldBerg, Shoshana and Kerith Conran. 2018. Review of “How Many Same-Sex Couples in the U.S. Are Raising
Children.
11 Avery, Dan. “Nearly Half of LGBTQ Adults are Religious, U.S. Study Finds”. NBC NEWS, November 29, 2020.
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most basic of Jesus’ teachings. Those most basic of teachings involve; loving enemies, letting all
bitterness and anger go, and forgive just as Christ forgave. Opening the arms of the church to
those previously dismissed would fall directly in line with the teachings and actions of Jesus.
Luke 6:37(NRSV), “Do not judge, and you will not be judged; do not condemn, and you will not
be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.” (NRSV)
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“”A Non-Segregated Church in a Non-Segregated Society": Presbyterians and the Civil Rights
Movement.” The Journal of Presbyterian History 90, no. 1 (2012): 25–41.
http://www.jstor.org/stable/23339094.
Avery, Dan. “Nearly Half of LGBTQ Adults are Religious, U.S. Study Finds”. NBC NEWS, November
29, 2020.
Benne, Robert, and Gerald McDermott. 2004. “Thirteen Bad Arguments for Same Sex
Marriage. ” . Edited by Russel Moore. Christianity Today, September (September), 51–52.
https://web.p.ebscohost.com/ehost/pdfviewer/pdfviewer?vid=0&sid=eb635def-efee-4b30-
a1086718bbf7ff6b%40redis.https://web.p.ebscohost.com/ehost/pdfviewer/pdfviewer?
vid=0&sid=eb635def-efee-4b30-a108-6718bbf7ff6b%40redis.
Corbett, Cicily. "BLACKWELL, Antoinette Louisa Brown." Dictionary of Early American
Philosophers: Continuum, 2013. Oxford Reference.
Frimer, Jeremy A., Caitlin E. Tell, and Matt Motyl. 2016. “Sacralizing Liberals and Fair-Minded
Conservatives: Ideological Symmetry in the Moral Motives in the Culture War.” Analyses
of Social Issues and Public Policy 17, no. 1 (December): 33–59.
https://doi.org/10.1111/asap.12127.
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(ucla.edu)
Oliver, C. Herbert. No Flesh Shall Glory: How the Bible Destroys the Foundations of Racism, Also
Includes the Church and Social Change. Phillipsburg, NJ: P & R Publishing, 2021.
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(2023).
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Revision Summary
The primary focus ofr my revisions revolved around mostly formatting. I have never used
Turabian formatting before. This was easy to identitfy by the notes left on my paper. When
checking through the paper to try to ensure I found all the punctuation or formatting that
needed correcting I went through the paper backwards and didn’t actually read it. I strictly
looked for punctuation marks and footnotes. Doing this I even found some punctuation
mistakes that weren’t noted on my in-line grading. A couple areas of the paper that I could not
fix where the improper page breaks. I could not get them to delete and if I hadn’t needed to
include the Track Changes, I probably would have just retyped the entire paper into a new
document. I also could not add the author for the “A Non-Segregated Church in a Non-
Segregated Society:
Presbyterians and the Civil Rights Movement” article because the pdf showed no independent
author. I did not remove the news article quote from the paper, but I did add a direct quote
from the research referenced in the article and added it to the Bibliography. I don’t think the
revisions had any effect on the context of my paper but I definitely now understand the
formatting progress better and really wish I had seen that fancy “insert footnote” button before
in all my
9Purity Njagi, Wim Groot, Jelena Arsenijevic, Silke Dyer, Gitau Mburu, James Kiarie, Financial costs of assisted
reproductive technology for patients in low- and middle-income countries: a systematic review, Human
Reproduction Open, Volume 2023, Issue 2, 2023.
10 GoldBerg, Shoshana and Kerith Conran. 2018. Review of “How Many Same-Sex Couples in the U.S. Are Raising
Children.
11 Avery, Dan. “Nearly Half of LGBTQ Adults are Religious, U.S. Study Finds”. NBC NEWS, November 29, 2020.
7
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previous years of using MS Word. Overall, this was excruciating painful assignment and I’m
grateful for being required to do it.
9Purity Njagi, Wim Groot, Jelena Arsenijevic, Silke Dyer, Gitau Mburu, James Kiarie, Financial costs of assisted
reproductive technology for patients in low- and middle-income countries: a systematic review, Human
Reproduction Open, Volume 2023, Issue 2, 2023.
10 GoldBerg, Shoshana and Kerith Conran. 2018. Review of “How Many Same-Sex Couples in the U.S. Are Raising
Children.
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11 Avery, Dan. “Nearly Half of LGBTQ Adults are Religious, U.S. Study Finds”. NBC NEWS, November 29, 2020.
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