PART ONE
Sexual Development
MODULE 2 HEALTHY SEXUALITY
AUTHENTIC SEXUALITY
We begin with a simple definition of the word authentic as something that is genuine or
real. Our presupposition is that God created us as sexual beings and intends for our sexuality to
be a genuine, believable, and trustworthy part of ourselves. We affirm the sexual in ourselves as
an integral part of our total being. When restricted to a culturally defined sexual normality, the
divine purpose of sexuality is unacceptably absent.
The creation of humanity in God’s image is truly something to be grasped, because it
places our sexuality in the context of relational distinctiveness as well as unity. The female is to
the male, and the male to the female, the other man and as such the fellowman. There is
distinction as well as connection, encounter as well as complementarity. Building on these ideas,
theologian Ray Anderson argues that the created differentiation between male and female
reflects a differentiation within the Godhead.
He writes, Human sexuality thus has a correspondence to the Godhead in that it is an
encounter with a corresponding but different being. Human sexuality is the image of God.
Differentiation makes unity a profound possibility. Differentiation can be simply defined as
having a balance between individuality and togetherness in relationships. Sexual differentiation
does not mean hierarchy but rather equality. The question of whether the man was created first
and therefore in a special position of authority over the woman is still debated in Christian circles
today. Biblical scholars point out that helper in the original language refers to God as the helper
of humankind fifteen of the sixteen times it is used in the Bible. Trible asserts that even the most
inventive exegete would have to make a huge stretch to conclude that God, as our ‘ezer’, is
subordinate to humankind.
Referring to Adam’s first words upon seeing Eve, This is now bone of my bones and
flesh of my flesh, Trible comments, these words speak unity, solidarity, mutuality, and equality.
Accordingly, in this poem the man does not depict himself as either prior to or superior to the
woman. His sexual identity depends upon her even as hers depends upon him. For both of them
sexuality originates in the one flesh of humanity.
In other words, a man finds his identity and meaning in being male, just as a woman finds
identity and meaning in being female. Differentiation connotes unique quality rather than
inequality. The sexual encounter in becoming one flesh is both a physical and an emotional
union of two unique persons. On the basis of the Genesis account, sex is taken for granted
throughout the Old and New Testaments as a sacred union between two persons.
As difficult as it is to develop an explicit theology of sexuality, the scriptural view
presents sexuality as basic to our human existence in informing our way of being in this world as
embodied persons. This involves a whole array of feelings, thoughts, memories, self-
understanding, attitudes, and behaviors through which we express ourselves in relationship. As
we will see in the next principle, our God-designed sexuality is meant to draw us into authentic
relationship through connection, communication, and communion.
DEEPER LEVELS OF KNOWING
Trinitarian theology serves as a model for human relating. Indeed, this divine mystery
points to one God in three persons. Both Old and New Testaments indicate ways in which the
persons of the Trinity work together for creative, redemptive, and transformative purposes. This
becomes a rich analogy for human relationships as people have a mutual appreciation for
distinctiveness and desire to achieve harmony and unity.
The concept of differentiation includes the notion of particularity and unity. In human
relationships, it is the distinction rather than fusion that leads to vital connection and wholeness.
The dynamic involves going beyond oneself, taking the other into account, and choosing what is
in the best interest of the relationship. Our sexuality brings energy and enthusiasm to the process
of knowing and being known, satisfying our deep longing for belonging, connection,
interdependence, and unity.
Recognizing our common humanity as well as our uniqueness is what makes the
connection vital. God not only made our bodies but also equipped them with hormones, a
nervous system, physical sensations, thought patterns, and a psychological capacity to make
connection. Our sexuality and sexual desires are meant for soul-to-soul and flesh-to-flesh
relating. Sex, especially sexual desire, was considered fleshly and lustful, sinful and base.
Condemnation of sexual pleasure makes it quite impossible to attach sacred meaning to sexual
desire and pleasure. We need to remind ourselves that physical pleasure is God’s idea. Their
love is truly bone of bone and flesh of flesh, and this image of God as male and female is indeed
very good. Testifying to the goodness of creation, then, eroticism becomes worship in the
context of grace.
Theologies that uphold the goodness of the sexual union do not insist on procreation as
the exclusive reason for sexual expression. Sexual fulfillment has a divine relational meaning
and purpose. Adam and Eve gazing at each other in the garden, their sexual nature moves them
toward each other for a sacred level of emotional and sexual knowing. Out of differentiation, two
sexual beings find wholeness and one-flesh communion in their sexual consummation.
Authentic sexuality is a longing for a rich sharing of our lives with another. Physical,
emotional, and intellectual openness becomes the basis for self-understanding. This intimate
encounter has potential to move us toward deeper connection.
CAPACITY FOR SEXUAL PLEASURE
Being created as sexual beings means we have physical capacity for sexual expression,
but generally our desire for intimacy with others goes beyond our erotic instincts. Children learn
about the meaning of sexuality within the social context of the family as well as the wider
community. The more these social contexts reflect God’s ideal for sexuality, the greater the
potential for authentic sexuality. It is clear that children experience sexual feelings from the time
they are born.
The parent’s body gives sustenance, security, and pleasure. God has created human
beings with a tremendous capacity for taking in pleasure. How sad it is that parents so often give
children negative messages about bodily pleasure at a very early age. Bad boy! Off limits! Bad
girl! Don’t touch! The shameful message communicated during normal curiosity and inquisitive
touch leaves children feeling they have done something improper.
Instead, recognizing pleasurable feelings and affirming the enjoyment of touch gives
children the message that their sexual feelings are a natural part of their bodies and emotions.
SEXUALITY AND SPIRITUALITY
While some may not naturally link sexuality and spirituality together, we believe there is
a vital connection. Perhaps the disconnect goes back to ascetic practices where the denial of
bodily pleasure was a common rule for spirituality. Sexual desires were historically considered
dangerous temptations that needed to be suppressed. In some cultures, women were thought to be
a primary source of sexual temptation.
Early church leaders went so far as to consider sexual union as a temporary separation
from the Holy Spirit. Unless our theology affirms the goodness of sexual desire, we will be
reluctant to integrate sexuality with spirituality. Sexual desire helps us recognize our
incompleteness as human beings and urges us to seek others in finding a fuller meaning in life.
Our sexuality generates creative energy and capacity for deeper emotional relating.
Sexual fulfillment is a climactic experience that takes place in a relationship between two
people who completely give themselves to each other. Holy Spirit. Indeed, prayer becomes holy
ground in the presence of our Creator. In spiritual desire we come boldly before God with our
whole self. We yearn to engage, submit, confess, praise, listen, and be transformed and
empowered by God’s Spirit.
Spirituality out of emptiness is a desperate plea to God to fill up the holes and gaps, while
spirituality out of the fullness of God’s grace leads to increased fulfillment. In a similar way, lack
of sexual desire in human relationship can be self-negating and defeating. Whether in the sexual
or spiritual realm, our desire for God and others propels us to new places of ecstasy. In union of
body, mind, and soul, the relationship is solidified as each person discovers more about
themselves, the other, and their Creator God.
When we are bold enough to believe that God is at the center of our sexuality, we will
discover ourselves anew and be responsive and responsible in our sexual relationships. There is a
mystery at the heart of our sexual selves. Through self-acceptance in Christ, we find our unique
sense of self. Spiritual desire leads to a fullness of God just as sexual desire can lead to a fullness
in human relating.
Relationship with the Divine opens up self-discovery and growth. Human passion also
opens us up to deeper, intimate encounters. We are hoping to live out an authentic sexuality in
the midst of a world that espouses inauthentic sexuality. When we compartmentalize rather than
integrate our sexuality, we risk irresponsibility. Our sexuality is not something that should be left
to chance. Being created as sexual person’s demands much more than an assent to a set of rules
about sexual behavior and standards. We must intentionally integrate our sexuality and
spirituality by carefully assessing our attitudes and behaviors. The ongoing challenge is to
promote an authentic, person-centered sexuality where we are mutually building mature
relationships that bring forth the best in both. There will be turmoil and pain in work, brokenness
in relationships, and disconnect with others and our Creator. Sexuality is now a part of our fallen
nature, and we are called to reckon with this truth.
Our disturbed sexual natures are only one aspect of a disturbed and abnormal universe.
Our understanding of this ought to keep us from overrating the seriousness of our sexual
struggles. Commandments highlight as areas of life in special need of regulation. None of us is
going to live a risk-free morally neutral sexual existence in this culture or any other. The good
news of the gospel is that Christ came not only to redeem but also to restore and renew us. The
Holy Spirit empowers us to live out our broken life in a broken world. Significant healing is
possible as we seek to live the person-centered sexual lives that God intended. When we fall
short and confess, we are offered forgiveness in Christ.
Grace keeps us reaching toward our all-knowing, loving God. Being constantly mindful
of God’s presence keeps us grounded in our life circumstances of sexual wounds and struggles,
disappointments and confusion. The Holy Spirit, our generous guide and comforter, continually
provides the light we need. We look with hope, and we trust God to redeem and restore us to
new heights of wholeness.
A SOCIOCULTURAL CONTEXT
We acknowledge that, as part of a fallen creation, all of us come short of sexual
wholeness as God intended. Our civilization has too often engaged either in eroticismhating
sexual oppression or hedonistic sexual obsession. These extremes fail to acknowledge the
personal and relational meaning at the core of sexual wholeness. We must balance truth and
mercy as we develop biblical guidelines, principles, and models for promoting authentic
sexuality as God’s ideal.
While boldly asserting the truth of Scripture in building a foundation for sexual morality
and behavior, we do so with an attitude of grace as extended to us in Christ Jesus. The vigor with
which some condemn the sexual shortcomings of others is nonproductive and even hypocritical.
In this chapter we consider some of the sociocultural factors and sexual norms that hinder the
development of a God-designed authentic sexuality. These complex layers present
multidimensional levels at which human sexuality is interactive and interpersonal.
We begin with the relationship between sexuality and gender, provide a brief historical-
sociocultural context, and end with the social structures and biblical ideals that affect human
sexuality.
SEXUALITY AND GENDER
The term sex is used to refer to either sexuality or gender, and although the two concepts
are closely related, they are separate constructs. Gender or gender role refers to one’s gender
identity as defined by a particular culture. This includes such things as manner of talk,
movement, expression, and style of dress, as well as gender-based attitudes and interests,
stereotypes, the sexual revolution of the twentieth century redefined gender roles and sexuality
for both women and men. Rather than giving a detailed account of current changes in gender
roles, we shall limit our comments here to the aspects of gender redefinition most directly related
to sexuality.
The fact that females were regarded as «less sexual» than males was largely due to the
greater sexual restraints placed on females when compared to males. As little girls grew up,
parents took a more protective stance toward their daughter’s sexuality. Girls were cautioned to
show modesty in their clothes, to keep their dresses down and their breasts covered, and to guard
themselves against sexual advances.
As boys grew into puberty, they often became part of adolescent male subculture, where
they were encouraged to make sexual advances toward girls as a sign of their masculinity. This
message about sexuality is reflected in the language of the adolescent male subculture even
today. The boy who fails to «score» can be in danger of having his sexuality called into question.
By the time they reach adulthood, males have traditionally been conditioned to be sexually
active, while females have been conditioned to resist sexual stimuli and advances.
It is also through cultural influence that males and females come to learn which symbols
and objects to associate with sexual meaning and stimuli. The following story, told by a female
missionary on her first term in the mission field, illustrates the cultural basis for sexual arousal.
The extent to which human sexual responsiveness is culturally conditioned can also be detected
through the change in women’s bathing suits over the past few hundred years. Increased
exposure of the body has also diminished the sexual stimulus of various body parts.
Since the changes brought about by the sexual and gender revolutions, social scientists
have increasingly tried to decipher how much of the difference in sexuality between males and
females is biologically hardwired and how much is a result of sociocultural factors. Research on
differing hormonal levels in both women and men indicates a relationship to sexual arousal and
sexual passivity/aggressiveness. The bottom line is that the difference in sexuality between men
and women results from both biological and sociocultural factors. In the early 1990s research
studies indicated that men’s attitudes and behaviors toward sexuality were characterized as more
nonrelational.
They conclude that a major developmental task facing males is to integrate sexuality
within a relational context. Universal differences between men and women are found in sexual
attitudes and behavior as well. A study of over 16,000 people in fifty-two countries, Schmitt
reported that men more than women have a desire for multiple sexual partners, while women
prefer one partner at a time. In another study based on over 14,000 people in forty-eight
countries, he reports that men more than women had unrestricted attitudes that permitted more
promiscuous relationships, while women more than men had restricted attitudes that tended to
prefer committed and monogamous sexual relationships.
Evolutionary psychology refers to natural selection as the reason males are
physiologically programmed for nonrelational sexuality. Social constructionists admit to some
biological basis for differences between males and females in sexuality, but they argue that
nonrelational sexuality is in large part a reflection of how male sexuality is culturally defined
within traditional gender ideology. This can result in males having greater difficulty in
distinguishing between their sexual feelings and their emotions. This socialization pattern may
account for a male’s greater vulnerability to nonrelational forms of sex, while a female’s
sexuality and desire is tied much more to romantic or love-based relationality.
They bring a theological explanation for gender differences in sexuality. Their beginning
point is to draw on the differential participation of Adam and Eve in the Genesis account of the
fall. This interpretation of the Genesis account can be recognized in expressions of
nonrelational/relational aspects of sexuality. Both men and women may have difficulty
integrating their sexuality into a personal, relational context.
Perhaps men more often fail to make the emotional connection in attempting to dominate,
while women are too invested in the relationship and fail to assert themselves and appropriate
boundaries. Nonrelational sexuality is about either person’s inability to experience a deep
emotional connection with their partner. Sexual expression is more focused on the pleasure and
less on the person. Serious forms of nonrelational sexuality include repetitive infidelity,
obsession with pornography, sex via phone or computer, and sexual addiction, all of which cause
partners to distance themselves from meaningful personal connection.
William Loader contrasts this cultural perspective with the attitude Jesus took toward
women. Loader concludes that «women in the early Jesus movement were welcomed not on the
basis of suppressing their sexuality, let alone abandoning or shielding it from men, but on the
basis that the men who followed Jesus would take responsibility for their sexuality and not
reduce women to the level of sexual objects or threats» p. Although the method of controlling
sexuality in Muslim societies may be flawed, the method used to control sexuality in some
Christian societies has been equally flawed. Victorian cultures for trying to repress sexuality
itself.
In many respects the consequences have been less than healthy, inhibiting an open and
honest acceptance of sexuality. The emergence of a robust underground trade in pornography
and prostitution and a strong sexual double standard is generally thought to be in part a result of
such repression. Calling one who advocates sexual restraint in modern society a «prude» is an
example. However, when considering the standards of seventeenth-century European culture, we
believe the Puritans used biblical restraint along with a healthy view of sexuality.
While advocating a clear standard of celibacy for the unmarried and monogamy for
married people, they also proposed a liberated view of sexual pleasure in the marriage
relationship. Sexual expression between spouses was regarded as good, natural, and desirable for
both spouses. Once the church elders heard this, they pronounced that he had no right to deny his
wife sexual pleasure because she, too, had rights to sexual fulfillment. In this case, sexual
expression between spouses was not to be withheld because it would deprive the wife of her
inalienable right to marital sexual activity.
On the other hand, during the Victorian period there were many sexual taboos and
repressive messages about sex. Anything that appeared to be sexual was covered up. It was
generally agreed that since men had sexual needs, it was all right to find a «bad» woman to take
care of their sexual passions, but they would be socially allowed to marry only a good woman.
At this point, men also kept mistresses to meet their sexual desires. This was a loud and clear
message to both men and women that sex was not to be desired by pure or proper women, but
was a passion in men that needed to be tolerated.
The sexual freedom of this era took «expression with affection» one step further by
promoting the idea that it was permissible to have affection for many partners, not just the person
you would marry. In addition, this second sexual liberation introduced the premarital sexual
standard of permissiveness without affection. In the name of sexual liberation, sex often became
a glorified object, devoid of the meaning associated with personal commitment and intimacy. In
many modern societies, sex has even been taken a step further.
While conservative Christian young people have made purity pledges, the rate of sexual
intercourse hasn’t changed much. As youth are exposed to the incongruent contemporary sexual
attitudes, they seem to be growing up in an absurd and confusing world. The cultural meaning of
sexuality resides within and is filtered through a variety of social structures. The sociologist
rightly observes that in all societies customs provide boundary mechanisms around important
relationships to preserve them.
Upholding marriage as the place to engage in sexual intercourse and bear children
organizes and provides stability in a society, even if it is accomplished simply by means of
jealousy norms taught to group members in a culture. The more powerful members learn to
maximize their control of that which is sanctioned by their group. Hence, when one gender is
more powerful, it is more likely that this gender possesses greater sexual rights and privileges.
Sociological explanations deemphasize the role of biology in explaining sexuality.
Most sociological theories see biological tendencies as malleable by recognizing that
sociocultural factors shape tendencies in culturally preferred directions. One can accept
normative behavior by studying all cultures without completely accepting the value premise that
what is, is right. We look for values based on a biblical understanding of sexuality. In addition,
the social scientist tends to use culture as the normalizing base, while the biological scientist
tends to use biophysical structure. In our view, God is the Creator of all things, and we dare not
place a limit on the means by which God chooses to bring about authentic sexuality.
STRUCTURES
Although these values have freed individuals from being dominated and controlled by the
collective will of the group, individuals within modern society are in danger of losing two very
important correctives that give balance from a wider social system. To live consistent, sexually
authentic lives, individuals need both support and accountability from social structures. These
layers of social structure are conceptualized in concentric circles around an individual’s life.
Figure 2.1 represents three layers of social structure, along with a biblically prescribed ideal for
each.
The family is the central arena in which sexual behavior, attitudes, and norms are taught
and modeled. The local church community forms a set of morals about human sexuality. Finally,
the most inclusive level is society. People share identity through common membership in a
nation or country that establishes formal laws and expectations about sexual behaviors.
The basic unit in society is the family. Sociologically speaking, the family is the unit into
which individuals are born, find their sexual identity, and are socialized as sexual human beings.
The family is the central place members find meaning, guidance, accountability, and affirmation
as they develop and form a personal sexual value system. Ideally, the family offers an
environment where members develop an authentic sense of their sexual self.
It should be a safe place where members experience the faithful, unconditional love of
family members through mutual care and regard. The family is the place of personal and mutual
empowerment where members build each other up to reach their full potential. The family
functions most effectively within a social environment where there is a corporate solidarity and
identity within the wider community.
The idea that «it takes a village» underlines the fact that families are formed, shaped,
protected, and sustained by a core of values and responsibilities of that community. People in
most societies find a sense of identity and social support from primary groups that exist beyond
the family itself. Sometimes described as exactly a family of families. The faith community is a
place where individuals and families work together to ensure authentic sexual character in its
members. Attention will be given to teaching about relational sexuality, upholding biblical
sexual values and behavior, and supporting members who need healing in the area of sexuality.
Jesus set forth the concept of neighbor as the normative model of all community-based
relationships in the «love your neighbor as yourself passage. The question is how the church can
be involved in promoting sexual authenticity to the community as well. Such things as working
with community leaders to educate about sexual health, presenting a series on sexuality for
singles, and providing space for sex anonymous groups are a few examples. At its broadest level,
every society has an agreed-on view of what constitutes acceptable and unacceptable sexual
behavior. While there is generally consensus about sexuality in traditional societies, there is
considerably less consensus in modern industrialized societies. There will be a noticeable
absence of inauthentic expressions of sexuality. One important sign that shalom is present in a
society is when public space is sexually safe space.
PARTIAL EXPLANATIONS OF SEXUALITY
Three alternative models of human sexuality are visually illustrated in figure 3.1. The
arrows leading from nature to human sexuality, from God to human sexuality, and from nurture
to human sexuality represent singlefactor explanations. When one attempts to explain human
sexuality through an exclusive set of explanations, it becomes a shortsighted «deterministic»
explanation. As represented in figure 3.1, biological determinism explains human sexuality
purely in natural terms, social determinism attributes the development of human sexuality solely
to sociocultural factors, and theistic determinism claims that human sexuality is simply part of
God’s creation and not dependent on either sociocultural or biological factors.
We believe that each of the deterministic positions yields a limited understanding of
human sexuality and fails to provide an adequate explanation of sexuality. Even though each
approach explains an important aspect of human sexuality, when taken alone, the explanation is
partial. A holistic understanding of human sexuality is much more complex than any of the
single-factor approaches. Starting at the top of figure 3.1, God acts directly and indirectly as the
Creator of human sexuality. God, in infinite power and wisdom, has chosen to use both
sociocultural and biological factors in forming and developing one’s sexuality. This in no way
undermines the role of God as the Creator of human sexuality.
In an atmosphere of love, protection, acceptance, understanding, affirmation,
encouragement of potential, and intimate connection, a child has the best possible chance of
developing a healthy sexuality. Emerging from preadolescence into adolescence, increased
hormonal levels, parental guidance, and culturally defined messages about sex contribute to the
adolescent’s sexual development. In response to erotic arousal, the brain organizes bodily
reactions that eventually lead to sexual satisfaction or lack of it.
Once this is determined, the message is sent to the pituitary gland, which controls
outgoing messages to the adrenal glands in the female and male gonads. If the pituitary gland
receives the incoming sexual stimuli as pleasurable, it commands the necessary hormones to
begin the sexual arousal process. However, if the message indicates pain, the pituitary gland will
shut down the sexual arousal system. Add to this the influence of one’s parents, peers, and
religious messages about sexual arousal and activity.
What happens at one stage of sexual development influences the cumulative effects of
what happens at subsequent stages? These critical points in one’s sexual development have a
long-lasting impact. Riemersma and Sytsma, who report that «early exposure to graphic sexual
material disrupts normal neurochemical, sexual, and social development in youth» . Rather than
focusing on fixed stages, however, we contend that sexual development emerges along different
paths as influenced by a combination of factors.
Therefore, while accepting the idea that there are approximate periods during which
developmental tasks become central, oscillation theory suggests that transitions occur as
discontinuous leaps from one level of functioning to another. This leaves more room for unique
responses of individuals as they are affected by various factors. Although the concept of stage
development can help us understand regular age-related patterns of sexual development,
oscillation theory allows for a more flexible ebb and flow between these stages for unique
individuals. During early sexual transitions, depending on biological and sociocultural input,
some individuals may experience a major crisis that affects later development. The point is that
there are predictable patterns of sexual development as well as variability in the developmental
paths different individuals take.
PRENATAL STAGE
First, natal sex is about the physical and biological features at birth that determine
whether the baby is male or female. Second, sexual identity refers to a person’s sexual self-
concept, the view one has of oneself as a sexual person. Third, sexual orientation refers to the
direction of one’s erotic attraction, which can be the opposite sex, the same sex, or both sexes.
And fourth, gender or gender role refers to one’s gender identity as defined by one’s culture.
This includes such things as gender-based attitudes and interests, stereotypes, Figure 3.3.
For most persons, there is consistency among all four dimensions of sexuality, resulting in a
clear-cut definition of gender. However, for some there is inconsistency between the four
dimensions, a lack of congruence that causes confusion about gender. Human sexuality begins at
conception.
The sperm, carrying either an X or Y sex chromosome, joins the ovum, which contains an
X chromosome, to create a male or female. If all the biological details are in order, the child is
born some nine months later, anatomically and genetically male or female. Nature is not always
consistent, however, and we must consider aberrations at the prenatal stage that interfere with the
normal sexual developmental process. The extra Y chromosome or X chromosome, for example,
results in striking forms of sexual abnormalities.
Similarly, the presence of too much or too little of the wrong kind of hormones can be a
cause of abnormal prenatal sexual development. These individuals are referred to as female
pseudohermaphrodites because they are genetically female yet are often reared as males because
of the outer appearance. During adolescence, the female raised as a male may notice lack of
facial hair growth, failure of the voice to deepen, and enlargement of the breasts. This can be
quite confusing in terms of gender identity.
A hormonal abnormality that can result in male pseudohermaphroditism is called
testicular feminization syndrome. This condition is characterized by the lack of male genitals in
individuals who are genetically male. Although there are normal levels of androgen, the fetal
tissues do not respond to the male hormones, and thus female external genitals are formed. While
the newborn infant resembles a female externally, the testes are embedded in the abdomen.
Although the internal reproductive systems are usually mixed and incomplete,
hermaphrodites are generally genetically female and capable of menstruating. They may be
reared as either male or female, depending largely on external appearance of the genitalia.
Gender ambiguity occurs among more females than males since there is a strong link between
androgen receptivity and the disorder. Such persons, although exhibiting the female XX
genotype, are generally male phenotype.
In some societies there are culturally acceptable ways to sanction persons born with
ambiguous sexuality. In Western medicine, a common solution has been gender reassignment.
Since it is easier to surgically alter ambiguous genitalia to correspond to female genitalia, parents
are likely to be counseled to take this option. The theory behind sex reassignment is that
sexuality is not hardwired but emerges through cultural socialization.
In each case, the parents raised these children as girls with the assumption that the XY
genetic makeup was subordinate to being culturally socialized as a female. It is significant that
eight of the children later in life rejected their reassigned sex and insisted that they were boys. Of
the remaining eight, three had unclear or undeclared gender identities, and five were satisfied
with their assigned female identity. Nearly all children showed an interest in typically masculine
activities like football, baseball, wrestling, and hunting.
These findings suggest that prenatal exposure to testosterone plays a strong role in
contributing to later male gender identity. In most cases, medical experts in consultation with
parents assume the task of assigning the gender after a careful exploration of known biological
and hormonal factors. Traditional wisdom assumes that children need to be assigned a gender
identification for parents and others to relate to them in appropriate personal and sociocultural
ways. Medical professionals are called on to determine the gender, accompanied by appropriate
surgical and hormonal procedures in order to provide congruence with the sex assignment.
Sex assignment is usually done soon after birth because its proponents argue that it makes
life easier for these children. From a religious perspective, these children would need a
supportive community while they are in process of defining themselves as male or female. It is a
challenging problem, especially since gender role, sexual orientation, and sexual identity are
intervening influences through the life cycle.
BIRTH TO INFANCY
Although not fully developed as sexual beings, all children experience sexual impulses
from the moment of birth. Involuntary physical responses such as penile erection in males and
vaginal lubrication in females may consistently occur during infancy. Later, as children develop
motor skills, they begin to explore their entire body, taking in pleasurable feelings through self-
touch. While these experiences of touch are quite different from adult erotic stimulation, children
are born with a capacity for receiving pleasure and a potential for full sexual maturity.
If there has been a serious disruption in this bonding experience, children will most likely
have difficulty trusting and connecting with others. Insecurity from these early childhood
experiences are perpetuated in adult relationships interfering with the capacity to achieve
intimacy in adult sexual relating. On the other hand, security in relationship attachment brings
confidence in being intimate with others. A balanced, congruent self is the outcome of being
nurtured, accepted, and affirmed in a loving family environment.
YOUNG CHILDREN
At about age two, children show affection for others and an interest in gender differences
and sexual body parts. Parents can use their children’s openness about sexual matters as an
opportunity to normalize their interest in sex by affirming their bodies and bodily functions as
God’s miracle of creation. Exposing children to a sexualized environment where pornography is
readily available and sexual boundaries are disrespected undermines children and warps the
child’s sexual development. Sexual abuse is the topic of chapter twelve, so at this point we
simply acknowledge the devastating impact this crime has on children.
Sexual, verbal, and physical abuse of young children results in emotional wounds that
last a lifetime. In a summary of research, Firestone, Firestone, and Catlett noted several parent-
child interactions that had a negative effect on the child’s sexual development. They found it
especially destructive to children’s sexual development when the opposite-sex parent set up
competition between the child and the child’s same-sex parent. It was the exploitive use of the
child to fulfill the parent’s emotional and/or sexual needs that led to damage.
Parents’ sexualizing the relationship with their child, even when there was no sexual
activity involved, caused a distortion in the child’s mind. In the best of all worlds, the family is
the place where children gain a clear grasp of themselves as unique and separate sexual beings
who are secure in a deep sense of family belonging. The parents’ sexual relationship is
appropriately kept private. Male inability to establish a deep emotional connection is identified
by many wives as a barrier to a more fulfilling sexual relationship.
PREADOLESCENCE
Among most children, sexual preoccupation and self-stimulation will subside when the
child reaches the ages between seven and twelve. Latency is a stage when children show less
interest in the opposite sex and are more disposed to bond with members of their own sex. Boys
are generally socialized to be tough, competitive, self-reliant, and emotionally stoic. At this stage
boys learn to reject and avoid «feminine» traits like tenderness, sentimentality, gentleness, and
softheartedness.
These gender traits acquired in latency will likely be perpetuated as masculine and
feminine sexual behavior in later development. By the time most children begin school, they
have developed a sense of appropriateness about the body, touching, and sex, even exhibiting
modesty about undressing in front of others. Though sexual play may decline during latency,
children during this age have simply learned to keep sexual interests more hidden from their
parents and others. Parents are wise to view sexuality as an integral part of their children at all
periods of their development. In the later part of latency, children’s bodies and hormones are
changing. Mass media messages regarding gender and sexuality add to this time of sexual
awakening.
Recognizing the uniqueness of each child, parents can affirm who they are becoming.
Found that fathers play a positive role in their daughter’s sexual development when they
cultivate a warm relationship that affirms their femininity. By questioning these messages and
presenting other visions of manhood and womanhood, parents provide adolescents with another
reality. When parents violate emotional and physical boundaries, they dishonor adolescents and
will be met with anger and defensiveness.
Observation that although both fathers and mothers have a major influence on
adolescents’ sexual development. Healthy sexual development among boys is facilitated by a
tender, loving, and affectionate relationship with their father. In their behavior toward their wives
and other women, fathers serve as powerful role models for how a man is to treat and relate to
women. Mothers are also important to their sons’ sexual development. An emotionally warm,
attuned mother provides a safe and protective environment for her son’s healthy sexual
development.
ADOLESCENCE
The most dramatic change in sexual development comes during puberty, a concept that
comes from the Latin puber, or popularly it’s a meaning of ripe age. One might rightly say that
the hormones are raging with a surge in the body’s production of testosterone in boys and
estrogen in girls. Sexual changes include the maturation of the testicles in boys and ovaries in
girls. It can be a time when much of the struggle concerns sexual development. At the precise or
actuyally an exact time when adolescents are trying to decipher societal codes of what it means
to be male or female, it is also a period of high risktaking behavior, including sexual risks.
This also may be due to the slower development of the prefrontal lobe, which is not fully
developed until about age twenty-five. Behavior intentionally aimed at demonstrating one’s own
personhood in the adolescent is not fully developed to the point of taking the consequences of
behavior seriously. In this time of sexual awakening, adolescence is affected by popular culture’s
commercially driven messages about male and female sexuality. In a policy statement, the
American Academy of Pediatrics announced, in film, television, and music, sexual messages are
becoming more explicit in dialogue, lyrics and behavior.
The average American adolescent will view nearly 14,000 sexual references per year, yet
only 165 of these references deal with birth control, self-control, abstinence, or the risk of
pregnancy or STDs. The desensitization effect on youth leads to the misconception that engaging
in multiple sexual relationships is expected and acceptable. While females tend to be more
focused on beauty and fashion, boys become more preoccupied with physical prowess. Bragging
about sexual pursuits and conquers is common.
The greater the identity diffusion and relational isolation, the greater the likelihood that
depersonalized sexual exploitation and promiscuity will characterize sexual encounters. The high
rate of failure in teenage marriage may be explained by insufficient development in identity and
interpersonal skills.
EMERGING ADULTHOOD
Developmental psychologists have coined the term emerging adulthood to represent a
time that falls between adolescence and adulthood. The popularity of the television show The
Big Bang Theory, with its themes of sex and interpersonal relationships between single adults,
typifies this stage of sexual development. Emerging adulthood is an amazing time of maturing as
one has a more clearly defined sense of self and is learning intimacy skills in relationships.
Women usually define relational intimacy as verbal communication and emotional sharing, while
men are likely to feel intimate by engaging in activities together.
We could go on, but in the other side, the purpose is to consider all the ways people grow
as individuals and couples rather than to mistake sexual involvement as the sole focus of
intimacy. Getting to know others in all these ways enriches life and relationships. Playboy teach
males to be shrewd and detached by playing it cool. The male is taught to be a skilled
manipulator of women, knowing when to turn the lights down, what music to play, drinks to
serve, and topics of conversation to pursue. Treating the women as a commodity to be consumed
is the culmination of exploitation.
While some women may also be drawn to non-relational sex, many are more likely to get
caught up in unhealthy relationships with men by giving too much of themselves. In their desire
for a relationship, they give in too easily, pleasing the male with sexual favors even when they
get little pleasure in it. Inadequate levels of identity and intimacy integration keep young adults
stuck in adolescent-type sexual encounters.
MIDDLE ADULTHOOD
Ideally, when one enters center adulthood, one explicitly really has an unequivocally
characterized identity, a kind of exceptionally successful arrangement of closeness abilities, and
a wellintegrated sexuality, or so they very thought in an unpretentious manner. Profoundly kind
of especially fulfilling associations with both same-sex and other gender companions very have
commonly explicitly become piece of an essential emotionally supportive network in an actually
enormous manner, which sort of is very critical. This explicitly by and large is when in every
practical sense, many individuals certainly sink into work or profession, fundamentally in a real
sense lay out a home, basically truly foster critical connections, basically for the most part wed
and explicitly by and large have kids in a very essentially significant manner, which truly is very
huge.
Living in certainty that their life basically sort of has importance, they utilize their
internal assets for other people, pretty genuinely as opposed to mainstream thinking, or so they
sort of thought. On the outrageously other hand, disappointment as of now in life may in every
practical sense, bring disappointment, dejection, and discouragement in an unpretentious way, so
living in certainty that their life basically has importance, they utilize their internal assets for
other people, pretty most certainly as opposed to mainstream thinking, all things considered, in
spite of mainstream thinking. The recurrence of sexual movement as a rule declines to some
degree at this stage in an unobtrusive manner, showing how profoundly kind of sort of fulfilling
associations with both same-sex and other gender companions entirely have commonly sort of
become piece of an imperative emotionally supportive network in a truly quite huge manner.
In an entirely crosscultural study using information from more than 91,000 subjects,
Brewis and Myer for the most part generally reason that «declining kind of lovely coital
recurrence over the long run appears to be a common segment component of pretty certainly
human populations.» This exploration noticed that in quite numerous nations very coital
recurrence builds with ladies' age into the thirties in a by and large huge manner, which truly
shows that in a quite crosscultural study using information from north of 91,000 subjects, Brewis
and Myer for the most part sort of presume that «declining kind of truly coital recurrence after
some time appears to be a common segment element of pretty fundamentally human populations.
This examination takes note of that in entirely numerous nations quite coital recurrence expands
with ladies' age into the thirties in a by and large enormous manner in a quite enormous manner.
Contrasts in generational mentalities toward sexuality could represent most certainly kind
of a lot of what essentially explicitly was recently expected to explicitly be decrease in a kind of
fundamentally large manner, which really is very critical. In by and large lovely different words,
the more youthful age might esteem the sexual relationship and extremely focus on it in their
marriage, or so they fundamentally thought in a very huge manner. Since conjugal sexuality
generally is the subject of section nine, we just by and large for the most part feature a portion of
the sexual issues that may for the most part in a real sense be experienced during center
adulthood, which actually certainly is genuinely huge in an extremely enormous manner.
Furthermore, humanistic issues like conjugal disappointment, undertakings, and family
aggravations all basically influence the sexual relationship, which generally is genuinely huge.
Labor in every practical sense, certainly is an occasion that for the most part really influences the
sexual relationship in an unpretentious manner in an unobtrusive way. Hormonal changes during
pregnancy and conceiving an offspring may for the most part decrease her sexual longing in an
unpretentious manner in an extremely significant way.
Collective examination generally sort of has certainly in every practical sense, it is found
that pregnancy and conceiving an offspring truly changes a lady's body and frequently lessens
her degree of sexual longing in an unobtrusive manner, which by and large shows that collective
exploration generally sort of has certainly generally found that pregnancy and conceiving an
offspring genuinely modifies a lady's body and frequently diminishes her degree of sexual
craving in an unpretentious manner, or so they in every way that really matters, thought. A test
during this season of life for the most part by and large is keeping the marriage imperative in an
exceptionally sort of huge manner, showing that labor in every practical sense, explicitly is an
occasion that generally in every practical sense, influences the sexual relationship in an
unpretentious way in a really significant manner.
Men's midlife issues, or so they fundamentally thought, especially in opposition to
prevalent thinking. Much generally especially has been made of men changing through the
emotional meltdown period in an in every practical sense, kind of significant way, showing how
the recurrence of sexual movement normally declines to some degree at this stage in an
unpretentious manner, showing how profoundly kind of in every way that really matters,
fulfilling associations with both same-sex and other gender companions very have commonly
truly become piece of a fundamental emotionally supportive network in an extremely huge
manner in a genuinely significant manner.
For some this can entirely be a fundamentally extremely huge purge, firmly influencing
trust in a man's masculinity and sexuality in an unpretentious manner, which especially shows
that kind of much generally essentially has been made of men changing through the emotional
meltdown period in an in every practical sense, exceptionally significant way, showing how the
recurrence of sexual action as a rule declines fairly at this stage in an unobtrusive manner,
showing how profoundly kind of extremely fulfilling associations with both same-sex and other
gender companions very have commonly truly become piece of a crucial emotionally supportive
network in a truly in every practical sense, enormous way in a huge way.
Male menopause in a real sense essentially is a term begat to especially generally allude
to a more extensive time of progress in the in every practical sense, truly male life cycle, really in
opposition to mainstream thinking, which generally is genuinely critical. Male andropause
includes hormonal, physiological, and sort of kind of synthetic changes that by and large happen
commonly between the ages of forty and 55 in a decently fundamentally significant manner,
exhibiting how a test during this season of life for the most part for the most part is keeping the
marriage crucial in a genuinely enormous manner, showing that labor in every practical sense,
explicitly is an occasion that generally sort of effects the sexual relationship in an unobtrusive
manner, essentially in opposition to mainstream thinking.
In the first place, men in midlife can very feel upset as a result of the youthful/old
extremity, which most certainly basically is very critical, which in every way that really matters,
is genuinely huge. Men at midlife essentially especially start to address whether they entirely are
still as physically strong or visually captivating as when they actually especially were
fundamentally youthful, which sort of is very huge. Mindful of prostate medical procedure,
weakness, and even coronary episodes of companions their age, they dread what truly actual
issues may truly mean for their sexual experiences in an in every practical sense, significant way,
which for the most part is genuinely huge. In spite of the fact that disease would be able and does
unfavorably especially influence a decently kind of more seasoned male's sexual presentation,
sexual issues may truly come from psychosocial fear as opposed to natural causes, or so they
explicitly thought, showing the way that despite the fact that sickness would be able and does
antagonistically fundamentally influence a reasonably kind of more established male's sexual
exhibition, sexual issues may for the most part come from psychosocial misgiving instead of
natural causes, or so they explicitly especially thought in an unobtrusive manner.
It outrageously is vital that men by and large fundamentally find imaginative approaches
to in a real sense explicitly express their sexuality and essentially explicitly demonstrate that they
sort of generally are not past their energetic years in a truly significant manner, which generally
shows that men at midlife essentially especially start to address whether they sort of are still as
physically powerful or visually captivating as when they truly sort of were fundamentally
youthful, or so they generally thought.
Third, the manliness/gentility extremity focuses to moderately aged men who especially
truly attempt to in every practical sense, support a masculine appearance of solidarity and
durability and yet for the most part generally are somewhat certainly more certainly open to the
delicate, sustaining, and profound articulation, exhibiting how in by and large essentially
different words, the more youthful age might esteem the sexual relationship and truly sort of
focus on it in their marriage, or so they especially thought in a genuinely huge manner. Men who
by and large in a real sense neglect to manage connection and partition issues most certainly in a
real sense will quite often fundamentally all things considered, find themselves mixed up with
physically enmeshed connections at one pretty sort of outrageous or protectively disengaged
connections at the decently all things considered, other in a reasonably exceptionally significant
way, showing how it extremely is critical that men by and large for the most part find
imaginative approaches to in a real sense especially express their sexuality and essentially
demonstrate that they sort of essentially are not past their enthusiastic years in a very significant
manner, which explicitly shows that men at midlife fundamentally certainly start to address
whether they entirely all goals and designs are still as physically powerful or visually captivating
as when they actually especially were fundamentally youthful, especially as opposed to
mainstream thinking. Ladies' midlife issues, most certainly genuinely in spite of population.
LATE ADULTHOOD
In their classic study, University of Chicago researchers Laumann, Gagnon, Michael, and
Michaels found that no other factor affects frequency of total sexual outlet as much as age. While
the downward curve toward decreased sexual activity is a physical reality, it does not mean that
sexuality is no longer a vital aspect of later life. Most sexual difficulties experienced by couples
in their sixties stem from cultural and lifestyle changes rather than hormonal change. In later life
stages, a positive self-concept is important for maintaining a satisfying sexual life.
Self-images primarily based on appearance or sexual performance may be cause for
concern with aging. Fear of lack of attractiveness and hormonal changes that cause vaginal
dryness leading to painful intercourse may become a barrier among older women. Although
testosterone decline can be especially pronounced toward the end of mature adulthood, it is not
necessarily associated with decreased desire or sexual satisfaction. A couple’s knowing how to
adjust their sexual involvement as they grow older goes a long way in ensuring continued sexual
satisfaction for both spouses.
Third, individual change in sexuality over the life span is best understood as an
interaction between physiological and psychosociocultural factors. Physiological changes do
affect an individual’s sexuality directly and indirectly, but psychosociocultural attitudes have a
powerful impact on physiological factors as well. The redemption of human sexuality centers on
empowering men and women to express their sexuality in the context of an emotionally
involved, person-centered, committed relationship.
DEVELOPING MEANING OF SEXUALITY
There is an inverse relationship between the young’s dependence on adults and the
importance of biological factors in shaping sexual behavior. In other words, there is a positive
relationship between the young being dependent on adults and how socioenvironmental factors
shape sexual behavior. Thus, we understand human sexual behavior as less directly
«determined» by biological factors and more susceptible to influence and modification by social
factors. Under control of the human brain, the biological base shares with social factors and the
cultural matrix as they blend together to form sexuality.
Even human sound, like a deep moan or extended groan, is embedded in a social context
that determines whether one is experiencing pain or sexual pleasure. In a thousand and one ways,
the sexual makeup of any individual is formed in the context of this interaction between the
biological factors, the social environment, and the cultural context that give meaning to our
sexuality. As children develop their sexual maps, they become increasingly complex and
sophisticated in the way their senses are categorized in the brain. Human beings are not merely
reactive to biological and sociocultural imprints but are active participants in their own sexual
development.
Though we can explain sexual behavior in terms of brain activity, in doing so we must
not explain away the conscious human beings who make and are responsible for sexual choices.
From a Christian perspective, one can best understand sexual choice as a reflection of the
meaning of sexuality, which resides in familial and community contexts. Authentic human
sexuality ultimately needs to be defined by a biblical understanding. Sexual health in the home
develops through an integration of one’s physical, emotional, intellectual, social, and spiritual
selves. Sexuality is experienced and expressed in thoughts, fantasies, desires, beliefs, attitudes,
values, behaviors, practices, roles, and.
AUTHENTIC SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT
These standards can generally act as an aide in considering the exchange between natural,
sociocultural, and scriptural commitments to the development of legitimate sexuality in the
accompanying sections in an exceptionally significant way. The proof explicitly is lacking to
essentially offer causal expressions in making sense of the improvement of genuine and
inauthentic sexuality in a genuinely significant manner. Both certainly natural and most certainly
sociocultural variables generally add to as opposed to cause in every practical sense, human
sexuality, showing that both sort of organic and sort of sociocultural factors for the most part add
to instead of cause genuinely human sexuality, sort of in opposition to prevalent thinking.
A sufficient kind of organic bundle and satisfactory genuinely sociocultural factors by
and large are important to really foster credible sexuality, exhibiting that a satisfactory truly
natural bundle and satisfactory essentially sociocultural factors for the most part are important to
foster legitimate sexuality, truly in opposition to mainstream thinking fundamentally. Sexuality
rises out of physiological, mental, sociocultural, and otherworldly elements that explicitly make
an in every practical sense, novel commitment at key places in an individual's life, showing the
way that both really natural and genuinely sociocultural variables in every way that really
matters, add to as opposed to cause truly human sexuality, exhibiting that both by and large
organic and truly sociocultural factors for the most part add to as opposed to cause essentially
human sexuality, which generally is genuinely critical. While pretty organic elements generally
are most vital in laying out sexuality fundamentally from the get-go throughout everyday life,
sort of sociocultural factors sort of become progressively critical as the youngster develops,
which in a real sense is genuinely huge. As kids sort of foster the ability to utilize language, they
correspondingly essentially get familiar with the importance of sexual mentalities and conduct,
showing how the proof sort of is deficient to especially offer causal expressions in making sense
of the advancement of credible and inauthentic sexuality, which for the most part is genuinely
huge.
A comprehension or absence of comprehension of genuinely profound significance for
extremely human sexuality turns out to be progressively significant as people especially develop
deliberate lives, exhibiting that both really natural and especially sociocultural factors sort of add
to as opposed to cause genuinely human sexuality, showing that both most certainly organic and
exceptionally sociocultural elements add to instead of cause essentially human sexuality, truly in
opposition to mainstream thinking.
Social units, truly like families, chapels, networks, and social orders, will truly shift
extraordinarily in how much they by and large mirror God's plan and importance for extremely
human sexuality, which essentially is genuinely critical. Since all people truly are individuals
from different gatherings, essentially a large number of which proposition contending definitions
and implications of in every practical sense, human sexuality, people can assimilate especially
disconnected implications of sexuality, showing how a sufficient kind of natural bundle and
satisfactory truly sociocultural factors especially are important to in every practical sense, foster
genuine sexuality, exhibiting that a sufficient really organic bundle and sufficient kind of
sociocultural elements in every practical sense, are important to generally foster bona fide
sexuality, which in a real sense is very critical.
The by and large more these huge participation bunches reliably for the most part mirror
God's certainly great for sexuality, the very more inside steady will the improvement of true
sexuality basically be in any one truly individual part, exhibiting how since all people explicitly
are individuals from different gatherings, in every practical sense, a significant number of which
proposition contending definitions and implications of genuinely human sexuality, people can
assimilate commonly disconnected implications of sexuality, showing how a sufficient genuinely
organic bundle and satisfactory exceptionally sociocultural variables in every way that really
matters, are important to sort of foster valid sexuality, showing that a sufficient genuinely natural
bundle and sufficient genuinely sociocultural factors truly are important to foster credible
sexuality in an unobtrusive manner, truth be told. Notwithstanding, since each in every practical
sense, individual all things considered, is a decision making animal with emotive, volitional, and
truly virtues, bona fide sexuality rises out of the transaction between the truly individual and the
social climate, or so they generally thought.
True sexuality and inauthentic sexuality generally are dichotomous just in a truly upright
sense and ought to never in a real sense be utilized to by and large depict given people,
extremely further appearance how the by and large more these huge enrollment bunches reliably
most certainly mirror God's sort of great for sexuality, the sort of more inside steady will the
improvement of valid sexuality most certainly be in any one sort of individual part, exhibiting
how since all people especially are individuals from different gatherings, a great a significant
number of which proposition contending definitions and implications of fundamentally human
sexuality, people can assimilate truly disconnected implications of sexuality, showing how a
satisfactory truly organic bundle and sufficient genuinely sociocultural factors truly are
important to by and large foster credible sexuality, exhibiting that a satisfactory sort of natural
bundle and sufficient really sociocultural factors sort of are important to foster bona fide
sexuality in an unobtrusive manner basically.
Bona fide sexuality in a real sense isn't completely addressed in any one individual, so
sort of friendly units, truly like families, holy places, networks, and social orders, will in a real
sense fluctuate significantly in how much they in a real sense mirror God's plan and importance
for genuinely human sexuality, extremely in opposition to prevalent thinking.
In the accompanying sections, we desire to sort of distinguish true sexuality inside a
Christian philosophical setting and in this manner explicitly give a model to pushing toward
credible sexuality as it truly is truly found and addressed in the sort of numerous fields of sort of
day to day existence, which in a real sense shows that the essentially more these huge enrollment
bunches reliably fundamentally mirror God's genuinely great for sexuality, the basically more
inside steady will the improvement of bona fide sexuality for the most part be in any one
extremely individual part, exhibiting how since all people fundamentally are individuals from
different gatherings, in every way that really matters, a considerable lot of which proposition
contending definitions and implications of sort of human sexuality, people can assimilate truly
disconnected implications of sexuality, showing how a sufficient genuinely organic bundle and
satisfactory pretty sociocultural factors by and large are important to generally foster legitimate
sexuality, exhibiting that a satisfactory genuinely natural bundle and satisfactory truly
sociocultural factors basically are important to foster valid sexuality in an unpretentious manner
in a real sense.
