1
Put that Phone Down!
Toni Broussard
Science of Social Work, Liberty University
PSYC 101: General Psychology
Professor Kristi Starnes
December 7, 2020
2
Put that Phone Down!
In today’s day in age, we see that our society has made many advances in technology,
which is an amazing thing when it comes to great opportunities to accomplish goals and further
research. Sadly, even with these accomplishments, we have become a society truly dependent on
access to the internet and have become personally addicted to our phones. All ages from
toddlerhood to late adulthood are guilty of this, whether it is for pictures, texting, social media,
news, research, etc., everywhere you turn we see so many people wasting away their days
looking at a small screen (George et al, 2020, pp.248). Many times, we see families out together
having fun, but most of the time children are watching videos, teens are on social media, and the
parents are either phone in hand taking pictures, playing games, or many other things instead of
communicating and enjoying their time together. “It seems that families, even at very young
ages, spend a tremendous amount of time engaged with devices instead of each other” (George et
al, 2020, pp. 270).
I am choosing to discuss the importance of the stage of toddlerhood, which is the age
range of two to four years old. In our new era electronics have become a significant part of our
lives and consumed us to the point of weakening our ability to connect to the people around us.
Now a day’s parents are quick to hand their toddlers tablets or phone to keep them occupied so
they can be left alone. The sad reality is that most toddlers’ developments are stunted or not
developed due to this act, because instead of the parents interacting with the child and teaching
them how to speak, react, think, process, and more, they are passing their responsibilities to a
device to teach and keep the children quiet. Sometimes it is the parents glued to the phone so
much, they miss everything happening right in front of them. Toddlers look forward to the
reaction they get from their parents and use their reactions as a sign of encouragement and
3
engagement with their parents or others. They take this simple interaction and the results the
parents have given, whether positive or negative and use it as the foundation of their
development of how they will build relationships with others. In today's society, many children
have grown up with the inability to make connections with us since they were not given the time,
care, and interaction they needed as a child to build this ability.
In the stage of toddlerhood, a child requires many development needs but essentially,
they need love, guidance, support, consistency, structure, security, trust, education, and stability.
A child’s needs require the ability to feel safe, loved, and important while having their
necessities to live met, so they have the security that they can be comfortable or build trust with
you. Just like the Video: Secure, Insecure, Avoidant, & Ambivalent Attachment in Mothers and
Babies; it shows how the security that a child needs from the bond it has built with the mother or
parent is extremely important in their development. Sharing your time and efforts, giving
positive responses, verbally praising, expressing love, and so many more are the best ways to
show your love and support that they need to be able to strengthen their bond and trust they have
with you. Also, during the stage of toddlerhood, guidance is an essential part of this stage. They
are reaching the stage of “independence and self-control to successfully resolve Erikson’s next
stage, autonomy versus shame and doubt” (George et al, 2020, pp. 273). In toddlerhood, they
now have many new skills, and with these new skills come the challenges that required toddlers
to begin making appropriate choices and having confidence in their abilities. They will begin to
want to do things on their own, such as getting themselves dressed or pouring their juice, and to
learn this skill we must provide supportive caregiving to allow them to learn without fear of
repercussion and become confident (George et al, 2020, pp. 273).
There are many ways to build a meaningful connection with your toddler, and by doing
4
this you will help them develop the ability to build strong relationships in their future. There are
many activities and simple gesture that we can do with them that can change the outcome of who
they are or who they will be. It is as easy as taking a certain amount of time each day to play
whatever they chose while showing them a sincere interest in the activity that they have chosen
and interacting with them with your full uninterrupted attention. You can also encourage your
child to express the way they feel by teaching them age-appropriate ways to vent or act on their
feelings while respecting the way they are feeling so it will teach them how to cope with their
feelings and be able to develop the ability to process their feelings and access other feelings too.
A few other little activities you can do is having a random dance party, let them cook with you,
make a game that only you both understand, have story time, and so much more. Honestly, these
activities that are seen as tasks or not important to most are truly simple, but in today’s society,
we have become more indulged in our phones rather than taking that time to spend with our
children. Just by taking a step back and trying to incorporate these few things or maybe even
self-checking yourself by thinking of how you normally respond, react, or handle situations,
whether you yell or maybe say things that are harsh and not even mean them. These few actions
can make a difference in a child’s development.
Personally, I had to check myself and come to the terms that I am not the most patient
mother in the world. It is one of my most hated qualities, but I had to accept it and work on
myself to provide my children with the patience they deserved. I started my experiment off by
fixing the way I spoke sometimes when I was frustrated. I also cut back on what I called me time
when I would be on my phone and used some of that time to just be with my children, whether it
was just watching them dance, play, or act a fool. As a parent, we all understand the feeling of
repeating “WOW! Yes, baby that is amazing” at least 10 times in a row and feeling
5
overwhelmed or frustrated, because we are trying to get stuff done or spend some alone time on
your phone for a bit. I know I am guilty of this, so I put my phone down and just sat with my
girls when I noticed just how much they turn to me for affirmation for anything they do. I would
see how just sitting there giving them my undivided attention would affect their demeanor and
they would get the biggest smile and just laugh. It was a big eye-opener for me. I truly saw how
important my attention and interaction are for my children. Not that I did not know because I did
but realizing how I let everything take most of my attention away from them, even though they
were included, it still is not the same as one-on-one uninterrupted time with you. Another thing I
did was make more time for family nights. It was something we use to do here and there but we
did not stick to every week due to being tired or busy from work etc. It was something my oldest
would always ask for, so I decided to add that to my experiment. Having a family night in our
home consisted of a snack or hot chocolate, a movie, and sometimes a game. We would let them
pick or we would rent new movies that were perfect for them, it became their favorite part of the
week. Seeing how much it changed in their attitudes when it came to outburst or fits, I came to
realize that I was not giving them as much time as I thought I was. They liked having time with
me even when I was on my phone or busy, but it is not enough as it would be giving them more
of my undivided attention.
