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First section
Specific Issue: Pornography Addiction
People come to marriage counseling for many different reasons, some come because of
incompatibility and there are those who come to counseling for infidelity; however, one of the
more difficult issues couples faces, but are reluctant to get counseling for are sexual issues. In
this case study a couple is having a problem in their marriage because the husband is addicted to
porn and the wife is depress because she believes it is because she is not sexually fulfilling her
husband, which in return causes him to get sexual relief from pornography and now he is
addicted and cannot perform sexually without being aroused by pornography.
This Case Study revolves around Sam and Emma Gaines. Emma is a 35-year-old Christian
woman who is married to Sam a 40-year male who is a Christian that has a pornographic
addiction. Emma and Sam have two children, JoJo 3 and Kiera 6. Emma and Sam relationship
has survived many difficulties, but Sam addiction is taken their marriage to the limits. Emma and
Sam are barely speaking, and both want to get over this hurdle in their marriage, but find it
difficult to move forward, although, thoughts of separation and divorce have been discussed.
Emma ask Sam to seek counseling for his porn addiction. Sam reluctantly agrees to come to
counselling.
Tarver (2010) notes with the establishment of the internet, pornography has become much
more pervasive and invasive. A simple stroke on the keyboard brings individuals into a world
they did not know existed, thus increasing the number of men and women who view
pornography in its many derivations. Tarver (2010) also notes that the word "addiction" comes
from the Latin addicere which means "bound to" or "enslaved by" and thus "it has become
identified increasingly with impaired control over substance use behaviors. The apostle Paul in
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Roman 6:16 says, “Don’t you realize that you become the slave of whatever you choose to obey?
You can be a slave to sin, which leads to death, or you can choose to obey God, which leads to
righteous living. Hesse & Pedersen(2017) notes that traditionally, researchers have proposed that
exposure to sexually explicit material significantly contributes to a variety of adverse effects
such as permissive sexual attitudes, greater acceptance of premarital sex, and a tendency to see
sex without love as more important than sex with love (Zillmann 1998). Hesse & Pedersen(2017)
also point out that further, opponents of SEM have determined that regular consumption is
associated with greater engagement in high-risk sexual behaviors such as anal sex, a greater
number of sexual partners, and a lowered age of first intercourse (Albright 2008; Braun-
Courville and Rojas 2008; Manning 2006; Morgan 2011). Clinton and Hawkins (2009) notes that
the use of pornography can create unrealistic sexual expectation of one’s spouse.
Phase 1 of the Counseling Session:
Sam enter counseling. First as the counselor I will administer an assessment interview. I
would approach Sam in a nonjudgmental way realizing that Sam may be experiencing guilt and
shame. As the counselor I would encourage the counselee Sam to relate how the struggle began
seeking an incident or situation and ask Sam how it progress and where is he at currently in his
struggle and ask what’s happening now. As the counselor there are several questions using
Clinton and Hawkins (2009) as a guide. I may ask the counselee Sam such question as:
1.Sam when do you find you most often engage in viewing pornography?
2.Sam how do you feel when you watch pornography: arouse, excited, angry, etc.
3.Sam how do you think your pornography viewing effect Emma and makes her feel?
4.Sam how do you think your pornography watching affect your relationship with God?
5.Sam do you want to change and why do you want change.
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Assessment interview of wife
1.Emma when did you find out about Sam pornographic uses?
2.How did you discover Sam pornographic uses?
3.How do you feel when Sam ask you perform certain sexual acts after he has watch
pornography.
4.Emma do you think your husband can change?
5.Do you think God can forgive and deliver Sam from this addiction?
Phase 2 of the Counseling Session:
Action Steps
The first few sessions would involve the counselor and counselee Sam. As the Counselor I
would invite Sam into prayer, and we would seek the Holy Spirit for His guidance and help.
After the Counselor and Sam have establish a rapport as the counselor working with the
counselee Sam, we would attempt to identify all locations and activities that provide temptation.
When those areas are identified Sam would be to encourage to avoid all those places that feeds
his desires for pornography, such as internet sites. I would advise Sam to partner with someone
preferable a male whom he can be accountable to and the suggestion would be made that as a
safety mechanism that he should always have someone present when accessing the internet if
possible. I would remind Sam as Christians who struggle that the scripture encourages us to seek
help. James5:16(KJV) says, “Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that
ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.” Sam and I
would examine what could be emotional triggers such as associates, certain memories seasons or
past rejection and pain or boredom. Earle and Laaser(2002) notes as with many addictions sexual
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feelings can be used to escape painful emotions. Sam would develop a plan of action to minimize
the trigger points and maximize his chance to succeed in his overcoming those emotional
triggers. Another action step that I as a Christian counselor would advise Sam to see viewing
pornography as sin and the need of repenting and ask God for forgiveness and restore fellowship
with Jesus pointing him to the scriptures that confirm this premise. Sam would be encouraged to
examine how his addiction has affected Emma and to ask her for forgiveness. Sam and I would
partner to establish a plan to strengthen and deepen his relationship with Jesus Christ by
developing a daily devotion and partner with male members of his church for accountability and
encouragement.
Biblical insights
1Thessalonians 4:3-5 which says, “For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that
ye should abstain from fornication: That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel
in sanctification and honour; Not in the lust of concupiscence, even as the Gentiles which know
not God.” Clinton and Hawkins (2009) notes that the Bible is very clear about sexual sin. God
created sex as a beautiful expression of love marriage. Satan took that beauty and distorted. As
counselor I would also point out to counselee that God forgives and restores.1John1:9 would be
the support scripture for this premise.1John 1:9 says, “But if we confess our sins to him, he is
faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.”
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References
Clinton, T., & Hawkins, R. (2009). The Quick-Reference Guide to Biblical Counseling. Ada,
MI: Baker Books.
Earle, R. H., & Laaser, M. R. (2001). The Pornography Trap: Setting Pastors and Laypersons
Free from Sexual Addiction. Beacon Hill Press.
Hesse, C., & Pedersen, C. L. (2017). Porn Sex Versus Real Sex: How Sexually Explicit Material
Shapes Our Understanding of Sexual Anatomy, Physiology, and Behaviour. Sexuality and
Culture, 21(3), 754+. Retrieved from https://link-gale-
com.ezproxy.liberty.edu/apps/doc/A499682057/AONE?
u=vic_liberty&sid=AONE&xid=12dcd296
Tarver, M., J.C.L. (2010). THE EFFECTS OF PORNOGRAPHY ADDICTION ON MARITAL
CONSENT. Studia Canonica, 44(2), 343-367. Retrieved from
http://ezproxy.liberty.edu/login?url=https://search-proquest-
com.ezproxy.liberty.edu/docview/863135473?accountid=12085
.
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