FAMILY COUNSELING PLAN 2
Family Counseling Plan
The Jones family I relate a lot with my husband as a police officer and I as a small
business owner. This lifestyle is very hard on a marriage and a family. You need to be very
intentional to attend to both or they will drift off to become very stagnant and stale. The Jones
seem to be on a crazy cycle that they have become accustomed to over the two decades of not
putting in the work for their family and marriage to thrive and not just survive. Now they are at a
crossroads and years of bad, lackadaisical decision-making has led them to this season in time.
They need to choose to strengthen their marriage and family or walk away and just give up from
the pressure of not communicating their true feelings.
Presenting Problems
The issues that the Jones family are facing on the surface are lack of communication
skills. They are not expressing their expectations with each other and not willing to meet in the
middle to get them met (Sells & Yarhouse, 2011). As a couple, they are not prioritizing their
marriage over other hobbies and work, which is drawing boundary lines in the sand against the
other spouse when it comes to the other issues. On a deeper level, they have not come to a place
of deeper relationship with the Lord and are not putting their faith in Him. Instead, they are
putting it in their job, hobbies, and other people. Next, they have come out of alignment of the
order God has established as good. He states it is God, spouse, children, then calling, and last
hobbies (Colossians 3:18-22). Lastly, they have not set boundaries with their daughter (Clinton
& Trent, 2009). Even though she is an adult, there needs to be boundaries because it’s Jeff and
Helen’s home first, and Leah is getting the grace to live in it. Even though she is their daughter,
if she is hurting their marriage, then the alignment is off and things need to be shifted to
prioritize the marriage.
FAMILY COUNSELING PLAN 3
Goals
Goal 1
Jeff, Helen, and Leah will plan out small goals, large goals, and boundaries for their
home to have steps on what needs to happen for the near and far future (Jongsma & Dattilio,
2014).
Objective 1.
All family members agree to come together and discuss civilly on the topics of tension in
the household
Intervention 1
All members of the family will privately write down individual areas that are causing
them stress or contention (Clinton & Trent, 2009).
Objective 2.
They set a time and place and show up for the sake of their family to grow and thrive.
Intervention 2
Have the meeting in a safe public space so relations will stay in check since it is a public
space. Have everyone share equally on their points and not to interrupt while others are taking a
turn. Even setting timers for each person so everyone has fair and equal conversation (Sanford &
Sanford, 2011).
Objective 3.
Have everyone come to a middle ground on terms for the family agreement. If a middle
can not be met, have an outside source that is unbiased give input to the topic (Kostenberger,
2010).
Intervention 3
FAMILY COUNSELING PLAN 4
Have these agreements written out and printed for each member to uphold. Also, if an
agreement is broken, it has consequences for those actions to restore either trust or safety of the
relationships.
Goal 2
Jeff and Helen improve the closeness and depth of their relationship in their marriage
(Eggerichs, 2004).
Objective 1.
Jeff and Helen need to communicate their feelings and emotions to each other in a safe
and neutral way.
Intervention 1
Jeff and Helen set a time for a date to privately meet together to discuss topics of
contention.
Intervention 2
Encourage Jeff and Helen to write down their feelings and to write down what they are
hearing while the other is speaking to practice speaker and listener techniques(Jongsma &
Dattilio, 2014).
Objective 2.
As a couple they will begin to dedicate time back into their marriage first, instead of
other places. Prioritizing their marriage above all other relationships (Sells & Yarhouse, 2011).
Intervention 1
Taking marriage counseling, marriage class, or a marriage conference together to enrich
their marriage.
Intervention 2
FAMILY COUNSELING PLAN 5
Find new hobbies together that they both enjoy doing to engage in discovering a new
activity together.
Objective 3.
Creating and curating a space for intimacy and romance back into the forefront of the
relationship in meaningful ways for both members of the relationship.
Intervention 1
Learning yours and your spouses love language and begin to apply these acts of kindness
into to your daily life with no expectation of romantic actions in return in payment for the act of
kindness (Chapman, 1992).
Intervention 2
Put aside time for intimacy together to empower the other spouse in their time together.
Also, do not bring up topics of contention in the midst of this time, but maybe if the door opens,
talking about them after sexual intimacy.
Goal 3
Jeff, Helen, and Leah all need to grow in their relationship with Jesus and put Him back
as the main focus in their lives while growing in faith-filled community.
Objective 1.
Individually creating a time and place to have quiet time with the Lord (Kostenberger,
2010).
Intervention 1
Going through the gospels and writing down notes that have impacted them from the
teachings of Jesus during His time on earth.
Intervention 2
FAMILY COUNSELING PLAN 6
Sitting quietly and waiting patiently for God to speak to them on topics that have been
heavy on their heart (Reimer, 2016). Also, being slow to speak in prayer time with the Lord and
quick to listen to what he is trying to say and show them for their next steps forward.
Objective 2.
Getting involved in their church body by serving in one area that the Lord lays on their
heart to volunteer (Sanford & Sanford, 2011).
Intervention 1
Signing up for a volunteer position that pushes them to grow deeper in their faith. Such as
joining the prayer team or the worship team to enjoy having faith-filled community while still
going deeper in their walk with Christ.
Objective 3.
Taking time weekly to pray together as a family and as individuals (Eggerichs, 2004).
Intervention 1
Setting a time each week to pray together as a couple to pray over their finances,
decisions, jobs, and other areas that are heavy on their heart. Also, encouraging their daughter
Leah to join them to pray with them as a family.
Christian Worldview
All of the counseling in the world would not fix the problem this family is facing. They
can have plans and homework to help the symptoms of the issues, but until the issues are brought
to the heart of the Father, no healing will take place. Jeff, Helen, and Leah all need Christ to
become the center of their lives to walk in healing and forgiveness toward one another. Their
bitterness and anger have caused sin and division in their family. The time is now for change and
it starts with a change of heart. Once Christ is back at the center of their hearts, they will begin to
FAMILY COUNSELING PLAN 7
see each other as a team put together to play different roles in their family (Sanford & Sanford,
2011). They will learn they need each other to be successful on this Earth for the calling on each
of their lives to impact many people during their time here (Reimer, 2016).
The issues of respect and trust that has been broken over the years will need mending
through training and counseling (Eggerichs, 2004). Though, the unforgiveness and bitterness will
need to cease to have power for new growth to develop in their lives. They will begin to speak in
love and power to one another (Eggerichs, 2004). This will give a hope and future to their
daughter while allowing her to see what a thriving and healthy marriage looks like. This will
show her the heart of Christ is love, not bitterness. With priorities back in alignment, things that
used to hold them bound will begin to slide off easier and the craving of the Holy Spirit to lead
them will begin to burn (Reimer, 2016). As their quiet time increases, so will their depth in
relationships. Christ is calling them higher with Him. He wants to restore all the broken places in
their lives. They just have to lay their lives at the foot of the cross and have faith in Jesus to walk
them through.
FAMILY COUNSELING PLAN 8
References
(2017). In Holy Bible. Zondervan.
Chapman, G. (1992). 5 Love Languages. Northfield Publishing.
Clinton, T., & Trent, J. (2009). The Quick-Reference Guide to Marriage & Family Counseling.
Baker Books.
Eggerichs, E. (2004). Love & Respect (Vol. 92). Intergrity Publishers.
Jongsma, A. E., jr., & Dattilio, F. M. (2014). The Family Therapy Treatment Planner (2nd ed.).
John Wiley & Sons Inc.
Kostenberger, A. J. (2010). God, Marriage, an Family Rebuilding the Biblical Foundation (2nd
ed.). Crossway.
Reimer, R. (2016). Soul care: 7 transformational principals to a healthy soul. Carpenter's Son
Publishing.
Sanford, J., & Sanford, P. (2011). Elijah house: level 1 prayer ministry. Elijah House Inc.
Sells, J. N., & Yarhouse, M. A. (2011). Counseling Couples in Conflict A Relational Restoration
Model. InterVarsity Press.
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