MOVIE REVIEW
Movie Review: Why Did I Get Married?
Lesly Vaca Contreras
School of Behavioral Sciences, Liberty University
Author Note
Lesly Vaca Contreras
I have no known conflict of interest to disclose.
Correspondence concerning this article should be addressed to Lesly Vaca Contreras.
Email: Lvacacontreras@liberty.edu
1
MOVIE REVIEW
2
Movie Review: Why Did I Get Married?
The Review
Why Did I Get Married? Follows the marriages of four couples who are lifelong friends.
The four couples gather each year for a therapeutic vacation where they discuss their
relationships and difficulties in marriage. Throughout this weekend, they take a deeper look at
their lives, wrestling with the issues of forgiveness, commitment, and betrayal as they seek a way
to save their marriages. The film begins by introducing each couple. The first couple, Diane and
Terry, argue while driving up the mountain because Diane refuses to turn off her phone and leave
her work at the office. The second couple, Angela and Marcus, are portrayed as arguing over
anything. The third couple, Sheila and Mike, take a plane to the retreat. However, Sheila is
deplaned because of her weight. Her verbally abusive husband (who makes fun of her weight)
continues on the flight while Sheila drives through the snow for long hours. Lastly, Patricia and
Gavin, who seems to have everything going well in their marriage, find a strain because of the
recent death of their son in a car accident.
The impression that this film leaves is that of restoration and healing through difficult
times in marriage. The most impactful part of this film and what others should look for when
watching is that each couple wrestles with different issues; however, they all have one thing in
common: a lack of expressing their true feelings. The scenes with the most potential use within
the counseling relationships are those after all secrets are revealed at the table. With all the
secrets out, the couples are in a vulnerable state where true feelings can be discussed. However,
it can go two ways: through a healthy breakthrough or, on the contrary, through a nonhealthy
confrontation. Further reflection should be given on the strategies these couples use when
communicating. How can couples, who love and depend on God, imitate a Christ-like character
MOVIE REVIEW
3
when faced with human emotions? It might be easy for some to hold back their tongue, while it
can be challenging for somebody else. Therefore, this film is an excellent example of how to
navigate hidden emotions.
Therapeutic Implications
According to Moitinho and Moitinho (2020), “the ideal location in Christian marriage is
when both husband and wife are close to God and growing in intimacy with Him” (p. 44). Gavin
and Patricia’s anchor in their marriage is their faith in God. Even with the loss of their child, they
have maintained their marriage flourishing. However, when secrets are revealed, Patricia finds
out that Gavin, at some point, blamed her for the loss of their child. As a result, the couple
experiences an intense and emotionally charged experience. Gavin confronts her by making her
look at a picture of their son. Patricia’s true feelings are uncovered; she has not forgiven herself
for the death of their son. This scene demonstrates an excellent conflict resolution model. When
Patricia is experiencing a breakdown at that moment, Gavin regains self-control and listens to
her with empathy. From a Christian perspective, this scene becomes the moment where Patricia
forgives herself. As Moitinho and Moitinho (2020) explain, “Forgiveness is the catalyst that
restores a marriage during conflict,” and it “involves the mental, emotional, relational, and
spiritual areas of our lives” (p. 147). The rationale for choosing this scene is to demonstrate how
active listening and forgiveness are tools for conflict management portrayed in this film.
On the contrary, the film shows Diane and Terry’s confrontation after revealing their
secrets. In the scene, Diane forgets it is Terry’s birthday. She arrives home, and Terry is with his
assistant having dinner. Diane explains her work situation and tries to excuse herself from
forgetting his birthday. However, seeing that his assistant is there, she begins thinking about the
possibility of an affair. Now with all these thoughts in her mind, she goes into an emotional state
MOVIE REVIEW
4
where she begins to feed and escalate the conflict. Terry’s complaints about Diane’s work slip
into criticism. Diane defends herself and launches counterattacks. “A cycle of criticize/defend/
countercriticize continues” (Gottman et al., p. 10, 2007). Terry withdraws and moves out. Diane
feels alone and seeks help from Patricia. Patricia gives her an exercise to do, in which she is to
write a list of all the “good and bad” Terry has done. Patricia tells her that if the good outweighs
the bad, you have to go and talk to Terry. As she is writing the list of good things, Diane realizes
that Terry is a good man and that she cannot be without him. As a result, Diane asks Terry for
forgiveness and a second chance to show him she will be there through it all. This scene portrays
the intervention of grace that Ripley and Worthington (2014) discuss. Terry demonstrated a
behavior that communicated grace and forgiveness (p. 277). Just as Moitinho and Moitinho
(2020) reinforce the idea that in marriage, spouses must display “selfless and sacrificial love”
towards each other in words and actions. The rationale for choosing this scene has been to see a
biblical perspective on love and an emotional connection within a marriage.
Both scenes mentioned above represent conflict management with a biblical and spiritual
approach. It aligns with a biblical worldview of sacrificial and selfish love by implementing
active listening, forgiveness, and grace. As a result, both couples get through the conflict they are
facing.
Professional Implications
Paul describes Agape love in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 as a “patient and kind love. A love that
is not self-seeking and keeps no record of wrongs. A love that protects and always trusts, always
hopes, always perseveres” (NIV, 2021). This type of love is portrayed at the end of this film. No
matter the struggles each couple faced, they were able to get through them with the help of God.
It took humbling, asking for forgiveness, and expressing genuine feelings. Something that does
MOVIE REVIEW
5
not come so quickly to any human being. I can relate to the moments when I have not been
truthful about my feelings. Moments where it is hard to ask for forgiveness. However, this film
has challenged me to turn my focus on creating an “intimate Christian marriage consistent with
God’s Design” (Moitinho & Moitinho, 2020, p. 49).
Overall, the scenes from this film have left me with counseling tools to use with couples
experiencing conflict, for example, in the scene where Patricia gives Dianne and Angela
homework. This homework pushes them to change because they realize their husbands have
been good to them. I strongly agree that homework tasks are one of the most excellent tools a
counselor can offer. Before my husband and I got married, we had our premarital counseling
sessions, and one of my favorite parts was the homework. This method allowed me to pay close
attention to what was in my heart. Ultimately, the film is an excellent representation of marriages
undergoing conflict with a Christian worldview as their anchor.
MOVIE REVIEW
References
Gottman, J., PhD, Gottman, J. S., & DeClaire, J. (2007). Ten Lessons to Transform Your
Marriage: America’s Love Lab Experts Share Their Strategies for Strengthening Your
Relationship. National Geographic Books.
Moitinho, E., & Moitinho, D. (2020). The Dream Home: How to Create an Intimate Christian
Marriage.
NIV Bible - New International Version | The NIV Bible Translation. (2021, June 4). NIV
Ripley, J. S., & Worthington, E. L., Jr. (2014). Couple Therapy: A New Hope-Focused
Approach. InterVarsity Press.
6
