Original sin and personal sin are the reasons for our problems. Despite the universality
and prevalence of sin, it is important to confront sin in a counseling session when doing
so would likely precipitate positive change. Since it is the Holy Spirit that works to
create change, the counselor should pray before the session for guidance and
discernment on when and how to confront sin. It may be better to refrain from
confrontation until the counselee becomes more receptive to recognizing and owning his
sinful actions and thoughts. If the client is not self-aware and is actively blaming
external factors for his issues, he will likely dismiss the therapist’s words or respond
defensively (Kollar, 2011). He may double-down in his stance, making it harder for him
to hear the truth. On the opposite spectrum, if the client is lacking a sense of self and
has a propensity for self-condemnation, confrontation may cause him to withdraw or
become extremely compliant and codependent (McMinn, 2011). The client is not yet
empowered to make changes to his life because he is unsure of who he is and his
values. Hence, it is better to postpone confrontation until he further develops his identity
in Christ and can modify his view of self, his behavior, and his principles in order to
grow.
b b b b b b b b b b b b The counselor is recommended to “start with smaller, less intimidating
types of confrontation” methods to gauge the response of the client (McMinn, 2011).
Techniques such as silence, pondering, questioning, and direct censure should be done
with empathy without compromising Christian values. If a gentler method is insufficient
to motivate repentance, the therapist may cautiously escalate or wait to try again in
another session since confrontation is a right that is earned over time. Another reason
to limit direct censure is because the counselor is advocating his understanding of “the
sin”, which may be a subjective interpretation and different from the client’s
interpretation. Unless it is agreed upon through reasonable understanding of the Bible,
the counselor will be using “the power differential inherent in the therapeutic situation”,
which may raise ethical questions for counseling (Entwistle, 2015, p. 301). Matt 18:15
says, “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him
alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother” (English Standard Version,
2001). Speaking truth in love lessens the likelihood of severing the counseling
relationship. If the client feels alienated, he may stop participating until the connection is
reestablished.
b b b b b b b b b b b b Counselors should follow Jesus’ demonstration of selecting and applying
confrontation methods. In John 8:1-11, Jesus addresses both the woman’s adultery and
the Pharisees’ self-righteousness. Jesus is direct with the Pharisees to pierce their
hardened hearts when he calls attention to the fact that they are not without sin. With
the woman who is feeling guilt and shame, he uses silence, which gives her time to
reflect on her sin. After the others leave, he uses empathic questioning and guides her
toward grace. This is a reminder to the counselor that the purpose of confrontation is
not just conviction of sin, but to help the client understand the need for grace. b
Reference
English Standard Version. (2001). ESV Online. https://esv.literalword.com/
Entwistle, D. N. (2015). Integrative approaches to psychology and Christianity: An
introduction to worldview issues, philosophical foundations, and models of integration (3rd
ed.). Wipf and Stock Publishers.
Kollar, C. A. (2011). Solution-focused pastoral counseling: An effective short-term approach
for getting people back on track (Exp. ed.). Zondervan.
McMinn, M. R. (2011). Psychology, theology, and spirituality in Christian counseling (Rev.
ed.). Tyndale House Publishers.
