The most important element for discerning the time to confront someone in counseling is
through prayer. My role is to be obedient to the Lord in counseling His children. Prayer
enables me to discern next steps while in the counseling chair. I pray before, during, and
after counseling. I also look through clients' notes and past sessions prior to the current
session in order to refresh my mind. The Lord guides me when I am counseling as I truly
cannot do this without Him. I humbly admit that I do not know what is best for His creation
sitting in front of me, but He does. I know very simply that I am to do what Solomon wrote
in Proverbs 3:5-6: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own
understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight” (New
International Version, 1973/1984).
Certainly, clients need to know that I care for them prior to the confrontation; otherwise, as
Paul stated in 1 Corinthians 13:1b, words without love are like a “resounding gong or a
clanging symbol” (New International Version, 1973/1984). Thus, a prerequisite for
confronting someone’s sin is a trusting therapeutic relationship (“Counseling Methods,”
2021). Finally, as shared in a recent lecture, “The good news is that God is the one who is
ultimately responsibility to work through the relationship with clients to bring them to the
point of confessing their sins and reconciling themselves to God and others and ultimately
to themselves” (“Counseling Methods,” 2021).
As Entwistle (2015) mentioned through the words of the author Phillip Yancey: “Only one
thing haunts me more than the sins of my past: What sins am I blind to today?” (p. 95). In
Christian counseling, which I believe is the setting for the deepest level of discipleship,
these blind sins can be unearthed. We truly need each other because God can use others,
the Bible, and the Holy Spirit to reveal sins to His people in order for them to confess and
have renewed fellowship with the Lord and others.
In terms of what approaches I use readily to confront sin while being a counselor for my
church is prayer. As the recent lecture clarified, prayer is an excellent method for engaging
in the spiritual battle on behalf of clients (“Counseling Methods,” 2021). This approach also
helps me to stay closely connected to the Lord in the session, so I submit to His leadership
and wisdom for the client. I also utilize questioning as it does not matter what I believe
about the situation, but I need to access the clients’ beliefs about the matter (McMinn,
1996, p. 139). From there, the session could move to “acherit” to help the client understand
the logical end of their thinking (“Counseling Methods,” 2021). Then, the conversation may
move into direct censure as I have discovered the clients’ beliefs, and if they are in contrast
to the Bible, then I can bring up what the Bible says about that area (McMinn, 1996). Again,
this is not my dictates, but the directives of the Bible. Furthermore, all clients that come to
me are either members or attenders of my church, so during the informed consent, I make
it clear that what I provide is biblical counseling. When I say biblical counseling, I do not
mean that I do not utilize psychology in my counseling, but the primacy or foundation is the
Bible. Psychology has methods that are empirical and proven to work, so I enthusiastically
employ those as well. The model of integration of psychology and theology I employ is
Entwistle’s (2015) Allies model.
I do not readily utilize silence to confront sin as I do not have a poker face (McMinn, 1996).
I find it very difficult to showcase a neutral face. Further, I may offer an empathic listening
cue without knowing it, like nodding my head, and the client could interpret this as approval
(McMinn, 1996). Pondering is not a skill that I have developed yet, but I believe this would
be helpful for me to utilize to bring about a greater revelation or understanding of the
clients’ thought processes, values, and beliefs (McMinn, 1996). Finally, no confrontation is
certainly an option for me to utilize, and I do employ this method, if I sense God is directing
me to confront the sin at another time (McMinn, 1996). Again, the people I counsel are His
creations and children, so I submit to the Lord that He knows best what His children need
in each session.
References
Counseling methods related to confrontation and confession [Kaltura slides]. (2021, April).
Liberty University. https://canvas.liberty.edu/courses/117651/pages/watch-counseling-
methods-related-to-confrontation-and-confession?module_item_id=13237403
Entwistle, D. N. (2015). Integrative approaches to psychology and Christianity: An introduction
to worldview issues, philosophical foundations, and models of integration (3rd ed.). Wipf &
Stock Publishers.
The Holy Bible, New International Version: Containing the Old Testament and the New
Testament. (1984/1973). International Bible Society.
McMinn, M. R. (1996). Psychology, theology, and spirituality in Christian counseling. Tyndale
House Publishers
