PreferredStory_LydiaDB.docx

Rapport and Relational Alignment

After the terrible car accident that took the lives of his mother and sister, during our first session

we determined that Josh is in desperate need of dealing with and communicating his feelings and

emotions. He was a total stranger who had come to me with an overwhelming wave of repressed

feelings. It was challenging to get him to open up and not give a presumption of what he was

actually going through and feeling. Now that we've had our first session and built a solid rapport

of trust, Josh feels free to express himself to me (his counselor). It is my responsibility to

communicate with him in a straightforward and gregarious manner, as my "C/S" personality type

suggests (Carbonell, n.d.). Josh should avoid speaking in an unduly reserved or cautious manner

Goal: Instead of taking the time to go through the phases of grief, Josh chose to go back to

college and get on with his life, dismissing his feelings and emotions (Rice, 2018, p. 10). Josh

has to admit that grieving is a natural emotion and that, in the words of Clinton and Hawkins

(2009), "is [an] intense emotional suffering [accompanied by a] complex set of emotions" (p.

130), even though it is understandable. As in the first session, we will pray for the guidance of

the Holy Spirit to begin the second session. Josh also wanted justice for the death of his mother

and sister, however he supported his father’s decision to forgive Justin, suppressing his anger

(Rice, 2018, p. 11). Considering Josh to be the "expert" in this situation, I will help him define

the goal by using Kollar's (2011) "if I were a fly on the wall" question (p. 126). Once we know

what he wants to accomplish, we can design the strategy to get there.

Chief Aim: Collaborate well… Bruce finds that Justin does not fit the stereotype, despite the fact

that he still perpetuates it. Their husband is a diligent worker, and his wife is a beautiful clone of

him and Cindy; in fact, their family looks a lot like his (Rice, 2018, p. 9). Additionally, Justin

might pass for one of his own kids (Rice, 2018, p. 9). Bruce is in a difficult situation since he is

unable to put him in jail. His sense of justice begins to take on a more forgiving appearance as

he begins to soften. The natural transformation the Holy Spirit has promised occurs when the

family focuses on change and solution (Kollar, 2011, p. 71). Bruce realized that Justin's parents

(2022, p. 7), this kind of listening "gets us inside of each other and there seem to be something in

such human connection that touches and changes us for the better." By employing effective

communication strategies like paraphrasing, para-feeling, asking open-ended questions, and

providing positive feedback, Josh may identify problems, locate solutions, and work toward

positive results (Petersen 2022). I wouldn't have to rely on any prior beliefs or judgments

because the client, not me, is the expert (Kollar, 2011).

Behavioral position: Even when Josh seems to be accepting and coming to terms with his loss,

the deep sadness that follows an untimely death of a loved one does not go away easily. Josh's

actions are indicative of the “denial stage” of the grief process (Clinton & Hawkins, 2009, p.

131). He will never reach the "acceptance stage," which is a crucial aspect of the healing

process, if he stays in the "denial stage" (Clinton & Hawkins, 2009, p. 131). Sometimes it's

easier to stay lost in those cozy, well-known emotions. But Josh needs to get to the point where

he can look at his father and brother and spend time with them instead of focusing on his

schoolwork and social life. We could try posing the "miracle" question to him—that is, how

something would appear if a miracle in his dream resolved his problem—to help him get to that

Josh, I must apply the Kollar, 2011 (p. 69) method of "finding exceptions helps creates solution."

Josh's inability to manage his emotions and recognize how they can affect his actions now and in

the future is the reason for this. Additionally, given of his tendency toward critical thinking and

his conviction that he must know the answers to almost everything, I must assist him in seeing

that "[the counselee] is not the problem, the problem is" (Carbonell, 2008, p. 37 & 238). It is my

duty to listen to him for the rest of the conversation and help steer him in the direction of helpful

responses. According to Kollar (2011), I have to make sure he maintains his position as the

expert and sets clear goals, and I have to assist him in achieving those goals. Josh needs to

demonstrate extraordinary bravery in the face of resistance since change is never simple or

seamless. (Page 62, Nichols, 2017).

Supportive Feedback Break

Josh just lost irreplaceable family members, therefore he is grieving for not one, but two loved

ones. Despite the fact that he has sought counseling to help make sense of it all, it does not

necessarily indicate that he is strong. These fundamental details must be known by the counselor.

Josh needs to feel that the counselor genuinely cares about him and wants to help him work

through his problem. As a result, comments shouldn't come off as rushed or as things that are

being shuffled around on a production line in order to maximize profits. The therapist needs to

Food for Thought

We are spiritual beings going through human experiences. Humans are naturally driven to exact

revenge without hesitation and suppress emotions for the sake of image. We need to come to the

realization that what other people think of us is irrelevant, for only God perception of us is what

truly matters. We also need to accept that with the arrival of Jesus Christ comes a new paradigm

of forgiveness in which the victim has to relearn everything about humanity in order to be ready

for the kingdom. Forgiving someone you have wronged is extremely difficult, yet God is

generous enough to give you enough grace to keep his unshakable promise to forgive those who

have wronged you.

Reference

Carbonell, M. (n.d.). Uniquely you DISC assessment. Retrieved from https://uniquelyyou.org/

Carbonell, M. (2008). How to solve the people puzzle: Understanding personality patterns.

Uniquely You Resources.

Clinton, T. E. & Hawkins, R. E. (2009). The quick-reference guide to biblical counseling. Baker

Publishing Group.

English Standard Version Bible. (2001). ESV Online. https://esv.literalword.com/

Kollar, C. A. (2011). Solution-focused pastoral counseling: An effective short-term approach for

getting people back on track. Zondervan.