Imagineering Forward Progress in a Specific Relationship through a Rational Meaningful
Detachment
People in general have the tendency to overlook the need for self-care. These people,
surprisingly, included Christians. Obviously, I am being sarcastic. Too often Christians blend
their “ministry” and their job. Being a pastor may be one’s ministry, but if one is getting paid for
it, it is also one’s employment (job). This becomes a problem one tries to justify working 70-hour
weeks without prioritizing time for family, friends, recreation, yearly doctor visits, eating
healthy, etc. The biggest deficit is in self-care. To take care of others, one must take care of
oneself. The Christian code of ethics requires that a counselor need to be fit to help others
(AACC, 2014). The Gospels show that Jesus had a very taxing ministry. One can read in Mark
6:31 that Jesus found it necessary to rest and take a break from ministry. Dr. Rice would say that
one needs to maintain “a symphonic process of being like Christ”, which includes the physical
me I need to be now. I call this symphonic process It’s not as romantic a term as homeostasis.
“symphonic”, but to me it’s the same concept without the music. Homeostasis of the physiology
or health of the human body is by God’s design. However, for this divine process to operate
optimally, it requires that humans work maintaining homeostasis between spirituality (Pettit,
2008; Epperly, 2014), psychological (Arnold & Hess, 2012), physical (Arnold & Hess, 2012),
and relational (Bradberry & Greaves, (2009); Rosenberg & Silvert, 2013).
self. This all falls under the umbrella of self-care. One must care for all four components of
“self” mentioned above.
Current Practice of Self-Care: The Use and/or Lack of an RMD
My current physical state does not reflect the Body of Christ (Arnold & Hess, 2012). I am
inconsistent with my exercise program and my eating habits.
I tend to be an emotional eater, so when I’m bored, sad, upset I tend to eat sweets.
I tend to snack after 10 PM.
I have two gym memberships and a small home gym, yet I allow stuff to keep me from
engaging.
I work many hours and I often forget the time, leading to 10-12-hour day of work.
I do not have any male friend with the same interests in playing sports or engaging in
other physical recreational activities (no social life), as I did when I lived in Florida.
Specific Rational Meaningful Detachment
One activity that I continue to have a passion is playing competitive street basketball.
However, basketball is not a popular sport in Spain. The few that have come out to play have not
been consistent. In the U.S., I use to carry my basketball and a change of clothes in my car in
case I happen to see an outdoor basketball court full of guys playing ball on my way home from
work or over the weekend as I’m driving. Playing basketball is not just another form of exercise
for me, it’s more like a hobby I enjoy deeply. As a hobby, it gives me a peace of mind, it distracts
me from the world and racing thoughts. Exercise is a vital component to self-care (Arnold &
Hess, 2012; Epperly, 2014; Pettit, 2008). As an exercise, playing basketball provides the cardio
and strength exercise I need. Playing basketball improves my overall resiliency.
Strengthening Communication and Connection in a Specific Relationship Rational
Meaningful Detachment
There are two areas that I am very lacking in, male fellowship, and physical exercise.
Playing basketball serves as a means to male fellowship, and physical exercise. When playing
basketball, I enjoy the “talking smack” between the guys during the game, I enjoy the friendly
competition, I enjoy the release of testosterone, I enjoy the feeling of detachment from the world,
and I enjoy the effects of endorphins, serotonin, and dopamine being released.
References
American Association Christian Counselors (AACC). (2014). AACC code of ethics: The Y2014
final code. Retrieved from https://www.aacc.net/code-of-ethics-2/
Bradberry, T., and Greaves, J. (2009). Emotional intelligence 2.0. San Diego, CA: Talent Smart.
Epperly, B. (2014). A center in the cyclone: Twenty-first century clergy self-care. New York:
Rowman & Littlefield.
Hess, V. E., and Arnold, L. M. (2012). The life of the body: Physical well-being and spiritual
formation. Downers Grove, IL: IVP.
Issler, K. (2012). Downers Grove, IL: IVP.Living into the life of Jesus.
Ortberg, J. (2014). The me I want to be. Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan.
Pettit, P. (2008). Grand Rapids, MI: Kregel.The foundations of spiritual formation.
Rosenberg, M., and Silvert D. (2015). Taking flight! Master the DISC styles to transform your
career, your relationships…your life. (Custom with Access) Upper Saddle River, NJ: FT
Press.
