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Ministry Based Context
I am blessed to serve as the youth's Sunday School Teacher and Young Adult Ministries
for my church, "So it is not the will of my Father who is in heaven that one of these little ones
should perish" (Matthew 18:14). My experience in these roles has taught me that people are
unique/inequality. Every individual requires a negligibly different approach - (Individual
differences). Therefore, despite the purpose being to help participants experience and know Jesus
Christ better and His words, the method by which we accomplish it will always be other because
people have diverse needs and respond to different approaches. Thus, using my schooling to
prepare and mold me into an ambassador of Christ for these roles is one of the primary purposes
of my scholastic expedition. Nevertheless, I have chosen my care-seeker and am delighted to
introduce "Bruce Murakami," a father, a husband, and a single breadwinner who has been
devastated by a loss and has decided to use a horrendous situation and the brokenness of a teen to
positively foster change.
Guiding Purpose Statement (GPS)
"Seeking to be an ambassador of Christ, I am committed to becoming an attentive LifeCoach."
(Toward my daughters and others).
Having a clear understanding of our skills, gifts, and who we are in general can help us serve
others more effectively. However, the key to developing my counseling skills and becoming a
better leader and representative of Christ is by application of believing and speaking this GPS.
Rapport and Relationship Alignment
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Bruce Murakami is a loving husband and father who lost his wife and daughter in a
horrific motor vehicle accident. I would classify Bruce as a "D/C" Type. Let's hear about Bruce!
Considering Bruce's current behavior, it is essential to practice attentive listening and allow him
to share his story without interruption. There will also be a chance to find out Bruce's strengths
and exceptions by listening. Bruce's readiness and defenselessness can be fostered by a
relationship built by listening carefully and avoiding distractions and interruptions. This will
result in Bruce sharing more freely and discovering his emotional and relational healing path. I
must remember that two of Petersen's communication traps with Bruce include "I understand"
and "Asking for one-word responses." It must be avoided. In counseling Bruce, I do not want to
offend or upset him by using such an insensitive cliché comment. As I listen well ("S"), it
becomes clear how my instincts will prevent me from talking ("I" Type). If Bruce is asked
several "D" personality-type questions, it does not encourage him to share; instead, it can result
in an adverse effect instead of ending our conversation. I must deliberately ask open-ended
questions to elicit Bruce's thoughts and emotions. Thus, Bruce will be able to share more freely
and recover emotionally and relationally. We become better listeners when we love, respect, and
care for those around us.
To build a more meaningful bond with him, I need to understand his position regarding
his wife and daughter. Despite the tragedy of their deaths, Bruce can use his experience to work
with others who may have been through a similar experience. Therefore, Bruce's anger could be
directed at the driver who caused the accident, so we can find a way to prevent this from
happening to anyone else.
Phase One Distinctive Features
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Bruce recognizes an apparent problem, and he wants to solve it. He is just uncertain he's
equipped to do so. Without his wife, Cindy, Bruce needs to learn the relational skills necessary to
connect with his children emotionally. It is a challenging trip to go through the phases of
grieving, anger, and forgiveness. It takes practice to recognize emotions; sometimes, they can be
so sudden and powerful that it is hard to sort out precisely what you're feeling. However, we are
committed to accompanying Bruce as he approaches grief's final acceptance stage. According to
Clinton and Hawkins, "Reorganizing their lives, filling new roles, and reconnecting with those
around them are healthy and essential facets of the healing process.
I will have to create a plan for the approach of our future sessions. Bruce is dealing with his loss
and the frustration of the justice system. This session aims to gain Bruce's trust and have him
open on his own. To do this, I will need to listen to Bruce, provide validation for his feelings, and
continue this until Bruce permits me into his reflections. (With patience) We can accomplish this
goal and prepare for future discussions.
I need to learn and analyze Bruce's DISC assessment to provide some short-term
counseling solutions. This will allow me to adjust my personality in line with Bruce's. Seeing
counseling as a positional process and a means to success gives me a better understanding of
how it works. Kollar's guiding assumptions are essential to counseling Bruce effectively; God is
already active in the counselee. The counselee is not the problem; the problem is. The counselee
is the expert and defines goals. The counselee has the potential for real and meaningful change.
Complex problems do not demand complex solutions (Self-Care).
We find exceptions to create goals for the problem. The counseling relationship is
positional. Solutions are cocreated. So, identify possible solutions that lead to concrete action
steps, listen, pay attention, and ask about the counselee in the counseling setting. Above all, if it's
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not broken, don't fix it. Our time together in Solution-Based, Short-Term, Pastoral Counseling
will also be spent helping Bruce determine how he can reorganize his work and home life, adapt
to the role of a parent alone, and connect with his other two sons Josh and Brody.
Phase One Marker
Despite its complexity, grief has several stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and
acceptance, which unfortunately do not always follow this order.
Understanding that Justin (the other driver) is remorseful for his actions would be a turning point
for Bruce and offer forgiveness. However, to provide forgiveness, Bruce will face some
significant challenges as he struggles to see through his feelings. Nonetheless, In Bruce and
Justin's case, forgiveness will provide healing. In response, I asked, trusting in and encouraging
Bruce. "Do you feel unqualified, deeply flawed, insecure, inadequate, and inferior?" If you do,
you are a prime candidate for God's grace! God's love, forgiveness, power, and purpose are well
embraced by people like us. When Bruce reaches the point of turning anger and grief into
helping others, he can shift into service, holding on to life and being able to heal himself.
So, Bruce's willingness to disclose his experiences, his acknowledgment that there is a problem,
and his admission that he needs help to overcome it indicate that he has tried to share his story
with me.
Food for Thought
After reviewing the readings, Pastors need to have a support and referral network.
"Pastors should become familiarized with the visible symptoms of emotional disorders to
recognize the need for technical help, but they are not usually equipped to do psychological
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triage and diagnosis. Ideally, they should access a triage professional with the necessary skills.
Nevertheless, we need to make ourselves conscious of the signs of emotional disorders, so we
can locate specialized help if necessary. We must establish partnerships with other agencies or
services that provide technical support if needed. Failing to acknowledge our limitations does a
disservice to our counselee and endangers us. The American Counseling Association (ACA)
mandates in its code of ethics. Failure to recognize our boundaries is a disservice to our
counselee and puts us in danger. As written by John MacArthur, "when godly people, armed with
the confidence that God's Word is entirely sufficient, prayerfully and skillfully, gently but firmly
come alongside those confused, lost, hurting or otherwise struggling with some personal or
spiritual dilemma. The Lord is sovereignly disposed to use His Word through such counsel in
ways that please Him.
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Bibliography
A Case Study on Crossroads: A Story of Forgiveness, Accessed from
https://libertyuniversity.instructure.com/
Carbonell, Mels. How to Solve the People Puzzle. Blue Ridge: Uniquely You Resources,
Understanding Personality Patterns. USA:
Clinton, Tim, and Ron Hawkins. The Quick-Reference Guide to Pastoral Counseling. Grand
Rapids: Baker Books, 2009.
Kollar, Charles A. Solution-Focused Pastoral Counseling: An Effective Short-term Approachfor
Getting People Back on Track. Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2011.
Lambert, Heath, and Stuart Scott. Counseling the Hard Cases. Nashville: B&H Publishing
Group, 2015.
Nicols, Ken. Masterpiece: Seeing Yourself as God’s Work of Art Changes Everything.
Lynchburg: Liberty University Press, 2017.
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